If Mei had known that their journey would end right here right now, would she have gone with him anyways?

Without hesitation, without doubts, without thinking; she immediately knew the answer: She would had.

Where in the beginning, doubts were swimming through her mind on how everything would work out while being on a road trip with a stranger for weeks, she completely changed her opinion the first time Luhan stepped through the door.

His shy smile, his soft features which gave her a comfortable feeling and his warm gaze which made her feel welcome… The first time Luhan stepped through the door, Mei was assured that she was safe with him. And although their start seemed so awkward, for this short period of time, she knew that she already liked him very much – like they had never been strangers and met a long time ago already.

For Mei, Luhan wasn’t a stranger at all anymore. He was her friend. But apparently, she was the only one thinking this way.

Mei brushed over her cheek and wiped some tears away which were strolling down to her chin. She promised not to cry when she took the first bus to the railway station earlier that morning just to see that the next train would depart at 1 pm. She silently packed her bags and checked out without even talking to Luhan anymore. The whole ride to Qingdao was silent; fear and shame lingering in the air.

Mei feared that Luhan would really send her back and she was ashamed that her behavior brought her this far. She didn’t exactly know when she crossed the line and made Luhan so mad, but apparently, something in her words hurt him so much that he just snapped. On the way, she just hoped for him to say something, to break the silence in the car and to take away the shame which laid on her shoulders – but he didn’t say anything. Not even when they got at the hotel, not even when they went into their rooms.

Though Mei was too shy and too ashamed to say something herself. She just hoped for him to forget everything, to talk to her normally again and she would have apologized… but he didn’t look at her even once.

Luhan didn’t mention his intention to send her back again, but Mei could read an atmosphere well enough to be assured that she wasn’t welcomed anymore. She bothered him with her present after everything she said. And she knew quite well how much a person needed separation when it was that way. (She felt it with Ren too sometimes, but she never got the courage to get away from him and just endured it).

But with Luhan… maybe it was pointless staying with him when he didn’t like her anymore. Trust and liking could be shattered with simple words, she knew that. And whatever she did wrong, it must have been hard for him so much that he got so mad at her. And although she tried to apologize, she couldn’t, fearing he would snap back at her again.

(Maybe they weren’t supposed to be together anyways, she thought, maybe they were too different anyways. Luhan wasn’t Ren after all.)

The rain was pouring down as Mei was sitting on the bench in front of the railway station, watching one car after another passing by, letting people out and picking people up.

Rain, how ironic, wasn’t it? Whenever it was raining, something bad happened between Luhan and her. First it was his day getting ruined in Shenyang, then it was her demanding him to drive to their next destination although it was so dangerous and lastly it was this day, where their journey obviously comes to an end. And every time it had been Mei’s fault. (Mei started to hate rain.)

Her sight shifted to a couple to her right, standing in front of a car. He was holding an umbrella with his right hand while the other rested on her waist. She had her arms wrapped around his middle, her head being buried in his chest. It was obviously a goodbye-scene and Mei felt bad for them, although she didn’t know why and how long they’d be separated.

She could feel what the girl was feeling. But not because she felt like this by bidding a farewell to Ren weeks ago, but because she felt like this right now by the thought of leaving Luhan. It was painful and devastating and everything she wished for was for him asking her to come back. She thought whatever kind of friendship was blooming in them would grow up to be something beautiful and gorgeous. A friendship for a lifetime. (But probably she just brought her hopes up too high.)

Luhan was sitting alone in the hotel’s restaurant, waiting for Mei for an hour now. His eyes always moved to the door when he saw it opened, only to  just get disappointed when it was not the girl he was waiting for. He was sitting there, with his heart feeling sad and uncompleted. During the night, which he spent mostly awake, he thought of the events that had happened earlier that day and he realized what a big idiot he had been.

He blamed Mei for being sad, for being frustrated over the fact that his relationship went wrong. She was right. And he snapped at her because she could manage to keep her relationship up whereas he just couldn’t. She said so many things which were right and he just felt them hitting at him one after another until he realized that everything was indeed his fault. And he turned the tables to blame her, because he was that kind of a fool to push everything away that hurt him.

Luhan never intended to send Mei away. He just snapped at her words, feeling how right she actually was, but like always, he came to that conclusion hours later. It was just 6 hours before when he called his girlfriend in the middle of the night.

“I won’t come back.” He said with a cracked voice.

“What?” She sounded sleepy and tired, probably just fell asleep.

“I won’t come back to you.” It was his strong voice which made her fully awake.

“What do you mean you won’t come back?” Luhan could only sense her fear laying in her words and he was utterly terrified to speak the words out. But what other options did he have left? Running away from problems wouldn’t solve them. It would only burden his heart. He wanted to be free, independent. He wanted to enjoy his trip with Mei rather than being caught up with his problems every now and then.

“To you,” he repeated, “I want to break up. Completely and not just pausing our relationship.” Luhan breathed in. “It’s over.”

A silence followed which was lasting for quite a long time and Luhan didn’t know how to define that. He didn’t want to hang up, because he found it rude and impolite, but he didn’t want to hear her cry either. He held his phone tightly in his hands, praying for a solution which would get him out of this situation. It was her who hung up and he was grateful for that.

They didn’t lose a word about the ‘whys’ and the ‘hows’. They just left it like that and in that night, Luhan could sleep with a lighter heart and a clear mind.

(But little did Luhan know that some relationships wouldn’t stop haunting people by just cutting it off via a phone call, especially not when the break up was coming from one side.)

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