Oho!!! Hope you guys enjoyed the previous chapter! A little too bloody, aint it? Anyway, for the middle part of this chapter, the story jumps to a month after the whole Baekhyun-Chanyeol fight scene, Jae hyung- Seul min break up scene, and Seul min- Baekhyun sleepover. Thank you AFF buddies for the support!!! /bows 90 degrees. I have prepared a background music for this chapter, and you can play it when you see my "cue" in the latter part of the chapter.

Bg music: Tell Me What is Love by EXO 

REWIND: Chapter 36: Face to Face

After Baekhyun called Chanyeol, they met at SM. Chanyeol told Baekhyun that he was Seul Min's ex-boyfriend. Baekhyun's temper rose and they argued and eventually exchanged fists. After that, Chanyeol went to Seul Min's place and told her what happened with him and Baekhyun. Seul Min asked how the fight ended. Chanyeol answered, "Either I leave EXO or... Baekhyun does."

>>>SEUL MIN'S POV<<<

I was so taken aback by what Chanyeol reported. After giving a few pain relievers to Chanyeol, I warned him that my elder brother was coming, and since my brother hates Chanyeol for dumping me two years ago, the only logical thing to do was to make Chanyeol leave.

I debated whether I should call Baekhyun or not.

Wait. Why? Seriously speaking, why should I? Do I have to? And for what reason? To check his condition? I like to think of myself as honest, and I don't lie. 

I pity people who lie in relationships. I pity them, but I pity the people who are lonesome yet continue to lie to themselves. The thing about lying is that, it corrupts you. It starts small, but once you build up those lies, all of them will damage you one day, breaking every single speck of faith left in yourself.

And as philosophical as I sound, I do not like lying to myself, so what else to do?

Be honest, Kim Seul Min.

"Fine! I'll be honest, you btch!" I yelled at myself, loudly. I question my sanity sometimes. Always. 

I deeply care for Baekhyun more than I should just because.

You know that feeling? That feeling that 'just because' actually possesses a legitimate reason.

And I deeply care for Baekhyun more than I should just because...This is what scares me. I wish I knew the answer. 

Why am I ready to face the biggest lions in the forest but find it impossible to even look at Baekhyun in the eye? 

Why is it that I don't care about society's opinions on me but would kill to know what Baekhyun thinks of me?

Often times, I think of myself as courageously strong but why, why is it that the mention or the idea of Baekhyun's existence makes me cowardly weak? 

I really wish I knew. Oh, actually. I know the answer. I'm just not ready to admit it.

Because I am a darn clumsy fool with no looks to flaunt, no riches to brag, and no talent to show. The way I am right now, it's impossible to love.

Because to love someone, you have to love yourself first, and I think I failed the pre-requisite.

It's really impossible. I repeat, I don't have the luxury to fall in love.

It's probably been a month since that line of thinking happened.

There are some feelings that you can't deny, but at least, there are some thoughts that you can avoid.

After my breakup with Jae Hyung, Jae Hyung left The Coffee Club and transferred to another branch. Why is it that every guy I date seems to run away from me? Am I seriously that hideous?

As for me, I focused on my job at The Coffee Club. I have become an expert in brewing coffee, and even if my perfume almost smelled like coffee every night, I didn't mind.

It's also been a month since I last talked to Chanyeol. The last was during his fight with Baekhyun. Chanyeol never called me again. For sure, they made up. If they didn't, Chanyeol would surely call to notify me that either he or Baekhyun was leaving EXO. Good for them.

And it's also been a month and two days since I last saw, felt, talked to and kissed Baekhyun. Weirdly enough, even if a month had passed by, I still remembered most of the happenings when Baekhyun slept over at my apartment. 

The memory of his caffeine-alcohol flavored lips begged to stay in my system, but my brain told me to stop thinking about him. It had been my fault. I shouldn't have asked him to hol