You, Me and Forever.

Chapter 8

KIM: ‘MY STUPIDNESS.’

    I was holding my breath when Gerald leaned closer. I look at those lips that just said the most lovely words I was longing to hear from a man, ‘I’m yours..’ My heart is screaming again against my chest. He almost kissed me. But I pull my self away as I was startled by a vibration and ring. My phone kept ringing and my Dad's face flashes on the screen. I excused myself from him and I answered my phone just as I was about to enter the comfort room. For my self not to get yells and screams and blah blah blah on phone in a club’s comfort room, I told my dad I was already home, that I was doing fine and so enjoying his graduation present for me. Which are all half truth and half lie. Thank God he was convinced, so he hung-up and it had save me from pulling off a long essay of lies tonight.

    Once I came back to Gerald, I told him I need to get home already cos I wanted the lie I just did to my Dad be true at least. I feel bad for lying, even if I did this a thousand times already and this one’s even far away from those major lies I did, still my Dad don’t deserve what I just did. I know he only wanted to make sure her daughter is safe. I’m too bad if I consider it as a wrong thought.

    Even if I left in the middle of an intimate situation with him, Gerald’s exuberance never seem to vanish.. He drove me home. He still opened his car’s door for me. He keeps me safe, and he never talk things that’d put me or both of us in an awkward situation. We talked about random stuffs about his life and how he fought for freedom from his strict parents up until we reached my door.

    I was fishing-out my key when I remember.. 'OH MY GOD. The key! I changed my purse..' I tap a hand on my forehead. I’m so dumb! I wanna punish my self for this, for doing something really really stupid. This is the exact reason why my Dad has been looking close on me and my actions. Jeez of all the things, why the key! Why do I forget those simple things that are so valuable. Maybe, this is really me. I don’t know how to value small things. Small things that are of great value some times.

    Gerald rubbed my arms and gave me a comforting embrace. 'Sssh.. It's okay.' He's rubbing my back now. I feel like a child. I remember how my Mom used to hug me and kiss my wound away when I get sored from running fast or playing too much. It makes me sad. How could my Mom left me and just die that way? But I shake those questions away, knowing there never are answers, maybe yet. Now, I feel like crying but the way this gorgeous man locked his arms around me and the way his cool scent intoxicates me. I feel so perfectly fine..a comfort zone I newly found, here in his arms.

    He then withdraw and takes my hand with his.‘Is it only you who have the key?’ A set of concern brown eyes gaze on me. ‘I think Uncle Gray has the spare key but it was over a year ago when it was given to him, I don't think he has it til now.’ I bite my lower lip out of my impending doom that was about to sink in. ‘It's very late, we can figure that key out tomorrow. But for tonight, what's your plan?' ‘I can't just crash at Uncle's and trouble them and his family, it's very late. And besides, He surely would update my dad about my stupidness. I can’t let that happen, my Dad’s gonna kill me.’ ‘You ain't stupid, you just forgot it.. anyway let’s go get you to hotel. Get your key at the management tomorow.’ He sound so serious. ‘Huh? Hotel. No..I ahm..’ ‘Or..go with me. I don’t mind taking you home..’

    We are responsible for our own actions. And I take mine for agreeing with Gerald to go with him tonight since I don’t want him paying hundred of bucks out of my stupid doing. Whatever Gerald is planning if there is, or whatever he’s gonna do. I put a thumb of trust on him. He’s been a good man since then. A part of me is so afraid of him. Or of myself for taking thing fast with him, or for allowing him. Is it too late to put on a huge wall between us so he wouldn’t take me as an easy-to-get woman? Or maybe putting up a wall so large wouldn’t matter because any second he has the capacity to break them all. They say when you're over-thinking things, follow your instincts, but which is the instinct? I just met him the other night. He's still a stranger. But a large part of me feels like we've been friends for a year or two already. And it’s odd how I could feel the sincerity in his eyes. Whatever mess I’m putting myself into, I’m taking the risk.

• END of Chapter EIGHT, KIM’s POV. –