Do you think people are blind or do they just see what they want to see? Maybe we’re all just afraid to look closer. To see the darkness in others that reflects our insecurities and our pain. I wonder if, if we looked hard enough, we could see a person’s soul. I like to think that souls are like glass; beautiful, but fragile and containing a light. If I was right, each person would have their own light. Specific and unique, and one glimpse of that light would reveal exactly who you are. Everything that makes up the entity that is You.

If I were right, some people would shine, their lights bright and pure, projecting out kindness and love and worth. But then, if that were the case, what about the others? Some people would have only a dim light to call their own, the bad experiences and mistakes and pain that has accumulated over time would have dimmed their light, sullying it and destroying the goodness that could have been there. Maybe pain cracks the glass. Bad things that we do to others might dim the light, and bad things done against us might damage the glass, hacking away at the fragile protection around our light.

I wonder what my soul looks like. I don’t think I’m a bad person, though we all make mistakes, so I don’t think my light would be too dark. The thing’s I’ve endured probably help to cancel out some of my mistakes. I don’t think I would shine too brightly though. The thoughts I have about certain people are anything but kind.

Maybe I should focus more on the glass, though if my theory about bad experiences damaging the glass is correct, then I wonder if healing would somehow fix the glass. Hopefully this would be the case because I think my soul would be close to shattering. One more tap and it would shatter into thousand of tiny slithers and my little light would snuff out, its protection gone forever.
 

Maybe I’m getting a little carried away with this theory, though I know for sure that whatever state my soul is in right now, it’s not a good one. They say that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, but I’m not so sure about that. At least I can’t see the truth in it. Maybe you need to start out as a strong person and then as you overcome more troubles you get even more strength. It’s the overcoming the troubles part that makes you stronger right? But what if you didn’t have any strength to start with? How then are you supposed to overcome anything? The way I see it, the weak ones would simply get weaker and the strong ones would simply get stronger. I don’t like that idea so I’ll simply not agree with it.

And yes I am well aware that I’ve been rambling. I don’t usually say very much at all… ever… so you should feel privileged. I’m also well aware that unless I run, I’ll be late for class. It’s strange really how, on the inside I feel like I’m this close to breaking and yet I’m still able to slip on a mask and convince people I’m ok. Maybe everyone does this. People pretend to be ok all the time right? Maybe we’re all like me and I just think I’ve got it the worst. Maybe… or maybe not. Who knows? Maybe if we could see people’s souls we could know but I don’t think I’d like people to see mine. Pride? …not that I’ve got much to be proud about.