“Hey Ara wait up!”

I was just coming out of college, weary as hell, wishing I could click my heels and transport to my bed. The last class had dragged on forever. Every time I’d looked at the clock I saw the exact same time as if someone was pulling a prank on me.

I turned at the sound of my name. Suho was jogging towards me, a friendly smile on his face.

“Oh hey Suho,” I stopped so he could catch up to me.

“How were your classes? I’m guessing not good since you were practically sprinting out of college.”

“Don’t even ask,” I said, holding up a hand. Suho chuckled and raked a hand through his hair.

“So where are you off to?” He asked casually. Too casually.

“Oh I was just off home. I’m so tired that I feel like any moment now I’m just going to collapse. I figured I should probably do that at home.”

Suho laughed again. The way his eyes crinkled made it seem like he actually found me funny, even though he could have just been laughing in sympathy.

It was probably sympathy.

“Ahh that’s too bad,” He was saying, “I came here with an invitation for the evening.”

“Oh?” That piqued my curiosity, despite my intentions of going straight home, “Where to?”

“Me and the kids rent out a jazz club every couple of nights,” Suho shrugged, “We like to practise singing since we’re a band.”

“A band?” I gasped. “All of you? Even Kai?”

“Yeah, Kai’s there but he mainly dances, amongst other things.”

“Wow a band, I have to admit I’m impressed.” I punched his arm lightly. He ducked his head, but I saw the proud smile on his face. “So where do I come into this? I’m guessing you want me to join the band?” I joked.

“Can you sing?” Suho raised his eyebrows, interested.

“No,” I said quickly, “Not. At. All.”

“Are you sure? You have a nice voice so I find it hard to believe that,”

“Oh stop it,” I slapped his arm, “You’re going to make me blush!”

I really was nearly blushing at that statement. He had this pure way of looking at you as if he was looking directly through your eyes and delivering his compliments to your soul.

“So I was just wondering if maybe you wanted to come along? Just to sit and pass the time with us?”

“Uhm,” I dithered. Was I really up to it? I’d had almost no sleep last night; I didn’t want to be all embarrassing falling asleep everywhere.

“I completely understand if you want to stay at home and have a quiet night in,” He added quickly.

Oh God he made me sound like an old woman.

“No no that’s fine, “I smiled, “It’ll be a nice way to spend the evening after a stressful day at school.”

Suho grinned. This boy radiated happiness like a light. I could imagine the world must feel a really dark place when he was upset.

“That’s great; I know the others will be happy. We were going to go straight there, so we should go and meet them now.”

So that’s how I found myself walking in the opposite direction to my house.

Suho and I walked towards the subway, chatting as we went. The more we spoke the more I liked him. Whenever he talked about the other boys I could feel the care he had for them in his careful voice.

“I’ve known them all since we were young,” He said, smiling softly at the memory. “Even then I had to take care of them all. They were always getting into fights. They still do know.”

We rounded the corner and came up to the subway. The rest of the boys were gathered around the entrance. Sehun was tapping away on his phone, sitting beside D.O on the sidewalk. Baekhyun was listening to music and walking around, his hands floating across the air as if he was tapping out the piano notes of the song. Chanyeol and Jongin were messing around; Jongin was seeing how long he could do a pirouette for and Chanyeol was timing him. I could hear his loud voice counting the seconds, his excitement rising when Jongin beat his time.

“Let’s go guys,” Suho said rubbing his hands briskly.

“Hey Ara,” D.O smiled. Sehun gave a friendly wave.

“Oh it’s nice you’re coming along too,” Baekhyun said, putting an arm around me.

“Of course, I wouldn’t miss the chance to hear you guys sing.”

There was a sudden commotion as Jongin’s pirouette went wrong and he clattered to the ground.

“Ara?!” He cried, leaping to his feat. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“Hello to you too friend,” I said, completely startled.

He ignored me and rounded on Suho, who was looking beyond alarmed.

“What is she doing here?” Jongin hissed, jabbing a finger towards me.

“I invited her-” The poor boy didn’t even get the chance to finish.

“Why would you do a thing like that?” Jongin gasped, dragging a hand down his face.

“I can go home if it bothers you that much.” I mumbled. My skin was crawling with embarrassment.

“Hey don’t say that,” Chanyeol came over and put an arm around my shoulder. He frowned at Jongin, “Why are you being rude Kai? You’re the one who introduced her to us; I thought she was your friend.”

“Exactly, what’s the problem if she comes along?” Baekhyun said, coming to my other side.

“This is confusing,” D.O scratched his head, and looked at Jongin wearily.

“I thought you’d be happy she was coming Kai,” Suho was at a loss.

“And even if you’re not we are,” Chanyeol said firmly, giving my shoulder a squeeze. Even Sehun had his furrowed eyebrows directed towards Jongin.

“It’s not that I don’t want her to be here. It’s not even like that,” Kai sighed, burying his head hands. “It’s really not even like that.”

“Then what’s it like?” I asked bluntly. I felt like this treatment was quite unfair and my embarrassment was making me annoyed.

“Forget it,” Kai muttered when he saw the look on my face.

He walked into the subway, his head bowed and his hands deep in his pockets.

I sat next to Chanyeol on the train. Suho sat opposite me and Kai was on his left. I was careful to not let Kai catch me looking at him; I was still hurt from his outburst earlier. Even if he hadn't wanted me to come, he didn't need to shout in the street and let the whole of South Korea know. Now I had to deal with Suho's reassuring smiles, alternated by his wary glances at Kai. Everyone was going to think I had forced my friendship upon Kai. He probably thought I was stalking him; maybe he was annoyed that I was hanging out with his friends maybe he thought I was being too eager maybe-

"Ara? Ara are you listening?"

Vaguely, I became aware that Chanyeol was calling my name like a record on repeat. His dark eyes were peering at my face, probably wondering if I were dead. I mentally slapped Kai out of my head.

"Sorry Chanyeol, I'm just feeling super tired,' I gave a pretend yawn.

"Uh you can always rest your head on me shoulder if you want," Chanyeol offered. His voice was really deep, a sensual contrast to his eager dark eyes and fluffy auburn hair.

"Aw thanks Chanyeol but that's okay. I don't want to dent your shoulder.'

'Woah is your head that big?'

"Oi you!" I scolded, flicking his head. He laughed. His laugh was happiness in it's most purest form and incredibly infectious. Soon we were chucking together over the most stupid things.

My caught on Kai. His eyes were darting from Chanyeol to me his teeth chewing his bottom lip. When he saw me looking, he inhaled deeply and turned to look out the window, crossing his arms and tapping his foot.

The train arrived at our stop and we all piled off. The jazz club was in an alleyway a short walk away from the station, squeezed in beside a few restaurants; their lights already shining out into the twilight lit street.

“Come on Ara,” Baekhyun grinned, putting a hand on my shoulder so he could lead me in.

The immediate mood of the jazz club was elegance and sophistication. The walls had oak wood panelling. Chandeliers hung from the ceiling, their crystals distorting the light until it looked like diamonds were scattered on the ceiling. Circular tables sat squat in front of the stage, each with a candle at the centre and the cutlery all laid out.

The boys immediately made for the stage, throwing their bags down on the chairs.

“What do you think so far?” D.O sidled up to me, casting me sideways glances, eager to see my reaction.

“It’s beautiful,” I said honestly,

“Be honest, I bet you thought we were going to lead you to some underground shack.” Suho winked.

“Alright alright you caught me, I did have my suspicions.” I looked around. “Where’s Kai?”

The boys looked around. Suho’s forehead wrinkled in worry, Sehun scratched his head, Chanyeol sighed and D.O just looked upset.

“He’s probably out the back,” Suho rubbed his face tiredly. It hurt to see how much he worried about his boys.

“I’ll go and check on him,” D.O rushed to the back of the stage quickly. We watched him go.

“I guess we’d better get started,” Baekhyun said sadly.

“I need to go to the toilet,” I mumbled. I needed to get away from this tense atmosphere.

“It’s just where D.O went,” Chanyeol pointed me to the right direction.

Once in the toilet I leant over the sink and gave a big sigh.

“What’s wrong with you,” I said to the mirror frowning, imagining I could see Kai’s sulky face, “What have I done? Is this your idea of waiting?” I held my fist up and gave a mean glare, “Huh?”

I sighed and ran my hand through my hair.

“Pabo,” I muttered before opening the door to leave the bathroom.

The bathroom door opened onto a square corridor. The door opposite was locked, the door to the right led back to the boys, but the door to my left was open.

And voices were sailing through to my ears.

“What’s up Kai? I don’t understand.” D.O was saying.

“Just leave it Kyungsoo.” Kai sighed. The sound of his voice made me creep back into the shadows. Just the thought of getting caught was making my stomach churn.

“No I won’t leave it Kai,” D.O replied firmly. “You’re my friend; I want to know what’s making you sad like this. Why does Ara being here bother you so much? Don’t you want to be her friend?”

“Of course I want to be her friend,” Kai sounded exasperated, as if the answer was obvious. Well with the way you’ve been acting, you could have fooled me.

“Then what is it?” A shadow appeared on the wall as D.O threw up his arms in despair. “What’s made you like this? Has something happened with…”

“Don’t.” The one syllable was harsh. Like a knife, it sliced through the rest of D.O’s words, cutting him off.

“Okay.” D.O didn’t even push it.

There was silence.  I hoped on one foot, half wanting to leave and half needing to stay. I had to hear what Kai had to say but the silence was killing me. Hurry up and speak you dumb fool, I’m getting cramp staying stood in one position.

“If you must know, I’m embarrassed.”

My mouth fell open and I nearly said what out loud, but managed to clamp a hand over my mouth. D.O did it for me anyway.

“What? Embarassed? What for?”

“Want to scream it any louder?” Kai hissed.

“But Kai this is ridiculous! Of all the things I expected you to say, that was not one of them. What’s there to be embarrassed about?”

D.O sounded genuinely confused, I almost felt sorry for him. Don’t worry I’m sharing your confusion Kyungsoo.

“She hasn’t seen me dance before,” Kai’s voice was low and quick, as if he wanted to get the words out before he realised what he was saying. “What if I’m not as good as she thinks? I wanted her to watch me dance at a performance where I’ve practised and perfected. When I’m in that mood. Not at rehearsal. Most of what I do here is crap.”

I was touched. He was embarrassed. That was so adorable.

“First of all, most of what you do here isn’t crap at all. So don’t let me hear those words again. And second of all, even if most of what you did here was crap, which remember I said it isn’t, don’t you think she’d be more impressed that you’ve worked hard enough to show an amazing performance after seeing your ‘crap’ rehearsals?”

“It’s not that I want to impress her.” Kai said quickly. D.O snorted. “I know I’m overreacting, I can feel myself overreacting but I can’t help it. I just don’t want to make a fool of myself.”

Hey silly, I’m not that hard to impress, I thought smiling softly to myself. I felt all warm and fuzzy inside at the fact that this boy was sulking because he was scared he was going to make a fool of himself.

“You’re more likely to look like a fool by not talking to her then by acting normally Kai,” D.O said it in a gentle voice that spoke to Kai’s heart. I heard Kai sigh.

“You’re right Kyungsoo.”

You sure are Kyungsoo.

“Ara?”

Oh God.

Oh no.

Chanyeol’s voice rumbled through the club, alerting everyone to the fact that my whereabouts was currently unknown. I could hear his footsteps approaching towards my hiding place. Thank God the boy was a giant.

I dived back into the bathroom like a rugby player. I dived like I was diving for food. I dived like my life depended on it. As soon as I hit the bathroom floor, I sprang to my feet and leant against the sinks, holding my stomach as if in pain.

The bathroom door flew open and in marched Kai, followed by a protesting D.O.

“You can’t just walk into the girls toilets like this Kai!”

“What have you been doing?” Kai demanded, his dark eyes were flashing. “Have you been eavesdropping?”

“Eavesdropping on what?” I clutched my stomach and groaned. Kai’s cheeks tinged pink. I gave another theatrical groan and turned to bend my head in the sink. Kai’s eyes widened slightly and his eyebrows furrowed.

“What’s wrong with you?” He said hesitantly.

“Are you ill?” D.O pushed his way in to the bathroom, clucking like a concerned Mother Hen. His hand felt the tip of my forehead.

“You have a fever,” He said worriedly.

“Er- I do?” Well that was convenient.

“What happened to you?” Kai said, “Was it something you ate? Have you been sick?”

“I don’t know,” I moaned, pushing my hair off my head. “I just feel so ill.”

Forget Korean literature, I should be majoring in acting.

More footsteps.

“Ara, you’ve been in here the whole time?” Chanyeol said.

“Kai! D.O! What are you doing in the girl’s bathroom?” Suho was aghast, his mouth was open so wide I could have thrown in a basketball and scored.

They both jumped like naughty children.

“Ara’s ill!” D.O said defensively.

Kai took hold of my chin and tilted it upwards. His eyes bored down into mine, lips straight. It was as if his eyes were going straight into my brain, checking my blood, checking to see if there were any foreign pathogens, finding out that I was faking it, finding out that I-

“She’s ill,” Kai announced. “I’m taking her home.”

“What?” I gasped. That wasn’t meant to happen.

“She’s ill?” Suho frowned and pushed his way into the bathroom, “You didn’t mention anything before Ara, are you going to be okay?”

“You’ve been in here alone this whole time?” Chanyeol rubbed my arm, “Why didn’t you call me?”

“Yes why didn’t you call me,” Kai said. Tutting, he took of his jacket and placed it on my shoulders.

“I’ll drive you home, my cars here from yesterday anyway,” Chanyeol said.

Kai nodded quickly and bundled me out the bathroom.

“I really don’t need to go home Kai,” I protested, “I’m sure I’ll be fine, I just felt dizzy for a moment.”

Sehun and Baekhyun stood up as I passed by at high speed, propelled along by Kai.

“Where is she going?” Baekhyun asked, alarmed.

“Ara’s ill, she needs to go home.” Kai said shortly.

“I really don’t need to go home Kai,” A sudden thought occurred to me. “Wait…Are you trying to get rid of me? Do you not want me here that much?”

Kai stopped and twisted me round by the shoulders. The hurt in his eyes hit me full in the face.

“Is that what you think this is?” He asked quietly.

I opened my mouth to say something, but lowered my head instead. I’d got myself in this mess by eavesdropping. I felt a pang of guilt.

“Maybe I should just go home,” I said quietly.

Kai sighed and took my wrist. He pulled me gently outside.

Chanyeol was already outside in the car, the engine purring.

The rest of the boys lined up outside the club, looking half regretful and half shocked.

“I’m so sorry to have ruined your rehearsal guys,” I couldn’t even look at any of them, knowing it was my dramatic acting that had got us in this situation.

There was a chorus of ‘No don’t be silly,’ and ‘Your health is more important.’

Suho gave me a stern look and told me to make sure I rested and ate enough.

“Okay Appa,” I joked, sticking my tongue out.

“See you seem better already!” Baekhyun smiled, “Maybe you just needed some fresh air.”

“Even so,” Kai said firmly before I could even open my mouth, “Ara needs an early night.”

“Jheeze am I four?” I muttered, getting into the car sullenly.

Kai got into the car and shut the door.

“Are you feeling okay Ara?” Chanyeol asked before driving off.

“I’m fine I’m fine, just a little tired. Don’t worry I won’t throw up in your car,”

“Good because you know the standard punishment is death  right?” He joked. I held up my hands in pretend fear and we laughed.

I glanced over at Kai. He was staring outside the window, chewing on his bottom lip again. He looked so vulnerable, sat with his knees together, fiddling with his hands in his lap.

“I’m sorry Kai,” I said suddenly. He looked at me, startled by the sound of my voice. “I’m sorry for startling you earlier and invading on your practise. I’m sorry for now ruining your rehearsal…”

“Hey hey hey,” Kai smiled softly, “You’re going to wear the word sorry out.”

He looked down at his clasped hands and frowned slightly. His cheeks were slightly puffy and his lips were pouty as he nibbled on the bottom lip. He seemed to be struggling with himself.

“I’m sorry too,” He said finally. He turned his dark eyes on me “I acted like a jerk for some stupid reason and you didn’t deserve that. I feel like a fool. I’m really sorry for that Ara,”

“Do you want to tell me what was up? Before?”

Kai immediately turned away and I saw the tip of his ears blush red.

“It was nothing, it was just something stupid,” He mumbled, “I’d rather not say it.”

“That’s okay,” I said hastily, laughing, “Calm down, I’m not going to force you!”

Kai joined in my laughter sheepishly.

“You should try and get some sleep,” He poked my cheek. I obediently curled my legs on to the seat and rested my head on my arm. I closed my eyes and could feel sleep washing over me like a wave.

“And you’re meant to call me Jongin, not Kai,” I heard him mutter petulantly, “So incompetent, you can’t even do that one thing.”

“You sound about four years old right now,” I yawned and snuggled down into my hand.

“And you look about for years old right now.” Jongin laughed softly. I felt his fingers brush past as he curled a strand of hair behind my ear.

I opened my mouth to reply but before I even had the chance, sleep enveloped me like a hug and the words never made it out of my mouth

I woke up some hours later in my bedroom, the lamp light casting a soft warm glow in the room. I looked down. I was in bed, under the covers, still with Jongin’s jacket on. I could see my phone light flashing in the pocket so I took it out. I had a new message.

You are the most deceiving human being in the entire world. You look like you barely way six stone and yet carrying you up the stairs felt like I was trying to lug up a sack of boulders. The amount of times I nearly fell down the stairs, you’re lucky I’m so strong! Anyway, hope you’re sleeping tight and that you’re feeling better and if you are feeling better, please remember it’s because I took such quick care of you! Good night Ara. From Jongin (Not Kai; you said you were going to call me Jongin so stick to it dummy).