Saja snuffles around my face and at my hands. It vaguely occurs to me that I've forgotten to put food in his bowl today.

"Sorry Saja," I sigh, getting to my feet and padding into the kitchen for the dog food. He immediately attacks his bowl when I pour the food in and I return to my nest on the sofa.

It's the afternoon after the disastrous event and I haven't heard from Jongin. Not that I've even checked my phone; it would hurt too much to look and see that he hasn't messaged me. I figured that if he desperately wanted to see me he could knock on my door.

Afterall we only live opposite each other.

Chanyeol dropped me home last night and tried to insist on walking me to my door but I refused, telling him I would be fine.

"If you can't sleep or anything just call me okay?" He said, grasping me by the shoulders and making me look straight at him.

"I will don't worry Yeollie," I said. He wrapped his arms around me and squeezed me tight in a hug.

"Everything will be okay," He said, resting his chin on my head, "It will all work out."

"Thanks," I whispered, trying my best not to cry. I sniffed hard and gave him a brave smile. "Thanks for everything."

"Don't mention it," Chanyeol smiled softly. He nudges me, "Now go on, off to sleep. Make sure you don't you stay up all night worrying."

"I won't,"

We both knew I was lying.

I managed to hold it in all the way up the stairs, into my apartment and on to the sofa before I burst into fresh tears. I just couldn't stop crying; I wanted to claw the image of Jongin's betrayed face out of my head. I kept berating myself for not telling him earlier, not letting him know about my Dad. I just couldn't believe my luck, what were the chances that their performance would be at my Dad's dinner event. It's almost as if God was saying 'Times up. Funs up. You should have told them from the start.'

The whole night I stayed curled up on the sofa as Saja slept underneath my chin. Even the sight of him reminded me of Jongin; how he had wanted to protect me.

I really know how to things up.

This morning however, some of my upset has mellowed in to anger. He hadn't even given me a chance to explain, hadn't even tried to see it from my point of view. If he'd really liked me, wouldn't he have given me the benefit of the doubt?

I try to imagine it from his point of view, if I suddenly found out that he was an heir to fortunes. Yes I would be shocked, but I'd try and swallow that and still be there for him, still show him that he's the same Jongin for me.

The more I think about it, the more frustrated I get.

I stomp into my room and grab at my bag, spilling the contents on the floor. Lighting up my phone screen, I see there is one single message sent half an hour before.

We need to talk. I’ll be waiting outside your door.

All I can do is stare at my phone for a full five seconds. Still holding it in my hand, I walk over to my door. Taking a deep breath, I pull it open.

And there he is. Leaning against his door, with his hands in his pockets. His hair's all messy and his eyes are red like he hasn't slept all night.

"How long have you been standing there?" I whisper.

"A while," He says softly.

"I'll, I'll just go and turn off-," I stammer, motioning back inside, but Jongin just grabs my hand, pulls my door shut and leads me down the hallway.

Instead of going down the stairs, Jongin takes me a flight instead to a solid metal door.

"I got the key off the landlord," He mumbles, throwing his weight behind the door to push it open.

With a sudden rush of breeze the door opens and we're on the roof.  Our apartment block isn't as high as the surrounding ones so we can't see much in terms of view, but it's nice to be all the way up here with the fresh air.

"So what did you want to talk about?" I ask cutting to the chase. I'm not in the mood for any forms of small talk.

Jongin's standing with his hands in his pockets, looking out over the streets. I'll never get over how impossibly sharp his jaw line is, how angular his whole face is in fact; as if he just scrapes off excess fat each night.

"I shouldn't have run off last night," He says in a low voice, "It was really immature of me."

"And I should have told you about my background," I whisper, "I realise it was a big shock."

"It was. It really was..." Jongin's voice drifts away and he nibbles at his bottom lip.

"Jongin I..." I begin but then it hits me that he hasn't looked me in the eye this whole time. "Look at me."

He continues to look down, a muscle clicking in his jaw.

"Jongin," I whisper, "Jongin look at me."

But still he refuses to raise his eyes to meet mine, his teeth are biting his lip so furiously it's like he'll draw blood.

"Jongin-ah,"

"Don't," He chokes out, "Don't say that,"

"Why?" I ask softly.

He raises his head and I'm shocked to see tears gathering in the corner of his eyes. He's...crying? Well trying not to cry, as he sniffs hard and blinks furiously.

"Stop looking at me," He says, turning his head away and walking a few paces.

I'm at a loss for words. I never expected for him to cry, if he's crying that must mean he cares right? But something doesn't fit right, it seems as though he's got other thoughts on his mind or he's struggling with something.

"Jongin," I try, "Has something happened? Has something else happened to make you upset?"

"I'm not upset," He says at once.

"You can tell me you know," I continue, "I'll always be here to listen."

"You shouldn't even be acting this way," He says, looking at me with pain in his eyes, "Not after the way I treated you, not after the way I acted towards you. Everyone else was able to just put it behind them but I had to go and act like a ing coward; trying to run away from everything. I'm so ed up-"

I walk over to him and twist him round by the shoulders.

"Stop," I say firmly, holding his cheeks to make him look at me, "Stop talking about yourself like this, you're not a coward and you're not ed up."

"I am," He says, "I'm a coward and an idiot and there's nothing you can say that will change my mind,"

"Nothing I can say?" I say softly.

"Nothing," He says firmly. "I don't deserve for you to be giving me compliments this isn't even about me this is about-"

Without giving it a second thought, I close my eyes and press our lips together. Jongin's words cut off and his lips automatically move against mine, hands coming to link around my waist to bring me closer. I run my hands through his hair, revelling at the way it fans through my fingers soft and fluffy.

I'm still angry at the way he reacted last night and I can tell he's still upset, but maybe that's what makes the kiss so amazing, all these different emotions running through our system, binding us together.

We finally pull apart and Jongin takes my hand again.  He leads me off the roof, down the stairs and back into our hallway.

"Your apartment this time," He says, "I want to leave you with good memories."

I don't realise the finality of that sentence until much later.

I open my apartment door and we step in. Saja raises his head sleepily and his dark eyes follow us as we go into my bedroom.

Jongin sits down on my bed and I sit next to him. He looks like a lost little boy as he looks at me, eyes searching my face as if for reassurance.

"What's happened to you Jongin-ah," I whisper, tracing his jaw line with my finger tips. He leans into my touch and closes his eyes, eyelashes fanning out onto his cheeks.

We lie down on my bed facing each other. I take note of all of his features, his smooth tanned skin, his long sloping nose and his full lips. His eyes search all over my face, as if drinking in my appearance and commiting it to memory.

It's just like last time only this time I get to feel his lips on mine.

There's a part of me that knows this is wrong, I know we're just trying to distract from the fact that we're unhappy and we haven't sorted out anything. But this is proof that we need each other, that we need each other for comfort.

And I can never say no to Jongin.

Throughout the long slow lazy afternoon full of kissing and fingers faces and playing in hair, I wonder what we are. Are we good for each other or is this some destructive path that we're running down, just because it's a chance for us to be together.

As the room gets darker and the shadows on the wall get longer, Jongin tangles his legs in mine and puts his face really close to mine.

"Hey Ara," He whispers.

"Hey Jongin," I reply.

"I like you," He says softly. "I really really like you."

"I like you too," I whisper, my face breaking out into a smile. " I really like you too."

And it's as simple as that.

When I wake up in the morning Jongin is gone.

There's a note on the pillow where his head was.

Four sentences written in scruffy quick handwriting.

Days go by and there is no sign of him.

I feel as if I've walked through a mirror and stepped into a surreal world. I keep expecting him to appear in the hallway when I open the door but it doesn't happen. He doesn’t come to college, he misses all of his dance classes and as much as we all bang on his door, there’s no answer.

“I just don’t know where he could be,” Suho’s practically tearing out his hair; his features are tense and full of anguish.

“Where could he have gone?” Baekhyun’s eyebrows are furrowed and he’s got his arm around Kyungsoo who’s eyes are wide with worry and concern. He just keeps trying to ring Jongin on his mobile but it goes straight to voicemail each time.

Chanyeol and Sehun are taking it in turns to bang on his door and call out his name.

I'm strangely calm.

 I walk around as if dazed, doing school work and lying on the sofa staring at nothing.

One day, on my way home from college, I reach my hallway and stand outside his door, just staring at the wood. My hands fumble in my pocket and bring out the note he left on the pillow that morning, the paper already worn from how many times I’ve handled it.

I am yours Ara. Never forget that. Wait for me. I will always come back to you.

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A/N: So sorry that this is quite late! Just been preparing to start school again since the holidays are over boo!! I have sad news that I'm probably no longer going to update 3 times a week since I need to focus on school work and I just got a job (^_^) Therefore for the time being I will be updating on Wednesdays and Saturdays most likely. I hope you guys get what I was trying to convey in this chapter!