Sarang stared at the mirror in front of her, disgusted by the scars that lined her body. The bruises were visible, but fading, the scars were healing, but the effect of the torture lasted and caused more damage than anyone could tell.

Sarang felt disgusted and dirty, and as much as she wanted to push the thoughts aside, she couldn’t.

So after Kris’s confession she found herself in his arms once more. Part of her regretted it because she knew she should have gotten on that plane. Now the plane was gone.

She was standing in one of the many rooms in EXOM’s mansion. This would be her permanent room for the time being. After Kris kicked her out of their condo she moved to a hotel, which was where she left all her belongings. Shortly after she left, he sold the condo.

Now her things had been transported here, thanks to Xiumin.

“Do you want to leave me?” He asked.

“…No.” She answered.

That was the truth. Maybe she was done with this life; she was tired of the Underground world and the never ending fight, the mysteries, the loose strings that connected nowhere, the people always trying to get her kill, she was so damn exhausted of it all.

However, she wasn’t tired of him. She needed him more than anything. She knew she was being stupid. She was giving in too easily. She should had let him chased her, let him regret ever hurting her, make him cry and beg on his knees, but she didn’t.

“They’ll heal.” Someone commented and she knew the owner of the soft voice by now.

“Luhan.” She stated turning around to face him. He had opened her bedroom door and she was too preoccupied to realize he was there.

“You didn’t leave.” He noted with a knowing smile. Something told her that the man already knew that she would end up here again.

“You already knew that.” She commented and his grin confirmed her earlier statement.

“So he finally found his balls back, about time.”

Sarang nibbled on her lower lip, not quite sure how to respond to that question. Yes, Kris did take a big step, and that step was going to affect all of their lives. She was clear of that, her relationship with him however wasn’t clear.

“What? Just spill it.” Luhan ordered stepping into her room and shutting the door behind him. His arms were crossed and he had that look in his eyes that only a therapist carried. She thought it was amusing seeing that look in an assassin. Who knew killers were such good listeners.

“I don’t know where we stand.” She mumbled softly. Quite honestly she had been going back and forth on where they stood. She didn’t feel like they were a couple. They didn’t meet based on common interest or anything even similar to that. She met Kris when he almost ran her over, and at the time she fully knew he was her fiancée. Her arranged-marriage with him no longer stood since he broke the engagement.

 “Gosh it’s so confusing.” She whined pulling at the roots of her black hair. Luhan laughed at her cute actions. She glared at him with angry eyes. She was being serious right now, and he was laughing.

“Sorry.” He apologized as he forced himself to stop laughing.

“See why it can’t just be like that.” She asked disappointedly. Luhan raised his brows not quite sure what she meant.

“Why can’t it be casual, normal, or typical, like everybody else? Kris and I aren’t anything close to that. I mean, we argue, that’s the only thing we can do. I mean, the last time we were together and weren’t fighting or being jailed to a hospital bed, or kidnapped, was when we were sent on that god damn mission to kill Xavier.”

“And that didn’t end up well?” Luhan raised the question. Sarang rolled her eyes.

“I don’t know, you tell me. We didn’t manage to kill him, he escaped, he’s was working with my grandfather before he switched sides to help us, and that was only because we offered to clean his slate.”

Luhan shrugged his shoulders, “That sounds like a good day to me.” He commented and she punched him in the arm. Just like typical Luhan, he didn’t even flinch when she punched him.

“Gosh you’re a horrible therapist.”

“I’m an assassin remember.” He corrected flatly.

“No, you’re my friend.” She corrected and a smile appeared on his face.

“He changed you, and I don’t even think you realized that.” Luhan commented matter-of-factly. “I mean, when I first met you, I remember you dissing Kris after he almost killed you, and I know you can still do the same, but back then you would never be talking to me like this. The first time we talked you guarded and now look at you. You may not realize this Sarang, but the two of you do more than just argue.” 

“Then what are we doing because I feel like the step we just took is only going to lead to awkwardness and confusion.” She revealed and she noticed Luhan frown.

“You’ll figure it all out.” Was his only response before he coughed loudly, “In the mean time, the members and I are going out. There’s a lead we’re chasing, and hopefully it’ll lead to your grandfather.” He told her. The reminder that her grandfather was still alive brought her back to reality.

Here she was, whining about her love life when her grandfather was busy chasing down Dragons.

“Do me a favor,” Luhan began as he stood up. He walked over to her door before turning around to face her, “Ask him about the time he first met you.” Luhan requested. Before Sarang could ask him what he meant he was already gone.

-----

“What are you doing?”

“I was going to ask if you needed help.” She responded to his question as she stepped closer to him. Kris was in Lay’s bat cave, looking through a series of cameras located all over Seoul. The mansion was empty. All of EXOM had left a while ago so it was only the two of them.

“No.” He answered plainly and she frowned at the answer. Oh well.

“Okay.” She replied; turning around, ready to leave before she stopped herself. She whisked together as much courage as she could before she asked her next question.

“Luhan told me to ask you this…” She began and she could hear him already groaning because any sentence that began with Luhan told me to ask you this meant bad news.

“What did the bastard do this time?” Kris questioned, obviously annoyed.

“You first met me when you almost ran me over right, on the opening night of Lee Corp’s Chinese Branch?”

“Yeah.”

Sarang narrowed her brows, she already knew that, obviously, because she was also there. So why would Luhan make her ask something like that?

“That’s what I thought.” She mumbled as she turned around and walked away. Her shoulders fell as she walked away thinking to herself that the way Kris she just talked to was even worse than the Kris she first met. At least that Kris wasn’t afraid of challenging her and making her question every aspect of her life. This Kris confused her because he practically left her to die just to save her afterwards. Then he turns around and forces her to leave the country only to ask her to stay afterwards, only to go back to giving her the cold treatment.

She tried putting herself in his shoes though, and in the end she finally found her conclusion. If she was Kris Wu, she must be confused as hell right now.

“Bi-polar .” She hissed under her breath as she stopped in front of a random mirror in a random hallway. She looked at her reflection and flinched.

There was a deep scratch on her cheek and the bruise on her forehead was still visible. Flashbacks of the torture she went through made her shake in disgust and fear. Those nights would be embedded in her forever, every time she felt a blade slice her skin in two, every time someone created a new bruise on her skin, when she was violated by that disgusting ert.

Sarang fell back against the wall, her frail legs dropping underneath her. She pulled onto the hem of her shirt and closed her eyes, trying to block those images out of her mind.

She tried focusing on the good. She tried replacing those images with beautiful, happy ones. She tried replacing them with warmth and comfort; she tried so hard to replace them.

In the end however she found none, only pain, pain and more pain. She was so accustomed to pain she no longer knew what to feel.

That was until she felt a pair of warm arms encircle around her, pulling her into warmness. It took her a few seconds to finally understand what was happening. She didn’t need to open her eyes to know who was holding her, she could feel it. She knew the embrace could only come from that bi-polar .

She snuggled in the crook of his neck, drowning out the dark thoughts. It was easier now, in his embrace it was easier to block out the pain.

“You were dying when I first saw you. You were in critical condition, your parents were declared dead and everyone said you would have the same fate.” He began and she realized he was talking about the first time he saw her.

“I saw you as you were being pulled in. Honestly I had the same thoughts, you looked so broken, so gone. I thought you wouldn’t make it.” He explained softly into her ear.

“When did you figure all this out?” She asked. Was this the reason why Luhan told her to ask him this?

“Just now. I was trying to figure out why that jerk would ask how I first met you, but now I understand.” He answered. Sarang finally opened her eyes to confirm that this wasn’t a dream. She pulled back so she could see his eyes.

For the first time she saw something she never expected. She saw sincerely in his eyes.

“And what’s that?”

 “…That you keep coming back. Even after everything you keep coming back. I thought you died that night and I left, only to find out years later that you were alive. That’s the charm about you. No matter how many times I mess up, not matter how many times I up, you keep coming back to me.” He confessed and they both knew his words were true. They both also knew that it could also be a blessing and a curse. He was the man who kept messing up, over and over again, and she was the girl who kept coming back even after she’s been burnt, over and over again.

That’s when they finally understood Luhan’s words. This was his lesson for them. This was the same mistake they kept making over and over again. So this time one of them had to stop. Either someone had to stop messing up or someone had to stop coming back. 

So I realized I haven't updated in a while, but I've been so busy with school and work, as well as falling into a writer's block, but I'm back now. This chapter is relatively quiet, but I wanted that because more drama rolls in soon.