Chapter 40 - The Doubt

Cherry Blossoming

FNC Building. Produce Room 04.

Jonghyun was sitting there, holding his guitar with his left hand while his right hand was busy writing some notes on the paper. But within a minute, he sighed and put back the penci on the table hopelessly. I couldn’t think properly right now… I even couldn’t write any new melodies… He put down his guitar and leaned on his chair while closing his yes. Once again he sighed heavily. Today is already two days after he talked with Yoona on her apartment’s lounge. And until now, he still didn’t make any contacts with her. Yesterday he received about five miscalls from Yoona. It’s not because he didn’t want to answer it. Yesterday he was too busy of working—or forced himself to work and locked himself in his studio for a whole day. Yesterday he just felt that he didn’t want to be disturb with anything. And when he finally went out from his studio in late midnight, he just found that there are few miscalls from Yoona without he noticed it. But still… he didn’t try to call her back. And maybe Yoona knew what he wants because her caller ID didn’t show up anymore for today.

Jonghyun glanced at the clock and found that it’s 11 PM right now. He already said to his brothers that he might came home so late just like yesterday and fortunately his brother understood him very well. They knew that Jonghyun needs me-time because of his problem, that’s why Jonghyun always feels so grateful towards them.

He sighed again. Seems like I sighed everysecond these days… He opened his eyes when he suddenly remembered something. He grabbed his phone in a hurry and dialed someone. Within a minute, his call already answered by a girl.

“Yoboseoyo…”

“Oh. Annyeong, noona…” Jonghyun greeted the person through the phone.

“Oh you. How dare you to call after forgotten me for a long time, huh??” that girl’s voice raised as she heard Jonghyun’s voice.

Jonghyun chuckled—for the first time he chuckled because since these three days, it’s so hard for him even for let out a chuckle. “How could I forget you, noona? You’re just too busy that’s why I didn’t call you often…”

“Mwoya… What a very lame reason. How could you were saying that I’m busy? You’re the one, aren’t you? You held a world tour and I even didn’t get any invitation from one of your concerts?? Wah… How’s rude…”

Jonghyun grimaced. “Noona, I knew that you were overseas when we held our concert in Seoul. I know it’s just useless if I invite you because you wont able to come… that’s why…”

That girl laughed over the phone. “Aigoo… what a very smart boy. Arasseo. You won! Now, tell me why you suddenly called me? Don’t tell me that you have a problem right now?”

“Woah, noona. You better retire from the entertainment faster and became a fortune-teller—or whatever people called it…”

“Yya!” that girl yelled jokingly. “Cincca… then what do you want right now, hm?”

“Do you have a spare time, noona? Can we meet?”

“Uhm… I don’t think that we can meet today, Jonghyun-ah. How about tomorrow? I’ll finish my schedule around 10 PM…”

“I’m ok with tomorrow. After the midnight?”

“Call. See you, then.”

“Ye, noona. Gomawo…” Jonghyun said and ended the call. He put back his phone and grabbed his cup and about to drink it but he realized that it’s already empty. He then stood up and went out from his room to take another cup of coffee. As soon as he went out, he walked to the coffeemaker on the corner of the corridor. After he took two cups of coffee—since he planned to stay there until midnight—he walked again to his room but he stopped because he was sneezing so hard suddenly.

“Oh. Gwaenchana oppa…?” Yuna—who just came out from one of recording studio—startled with Jonghyun’s presence, but she still ask him politely.

Jonghyun raised his head. “Oh you're here. Mian. I didn’t expect I’ll sneeze so hard…” he grimaced at Yuna.

“Oppa are you okay?” Yuna repeated her question with worried face. “You sneezed so hard. Are you feeling cold, oppa?”

“No… I’m fine.” Jonghyun shook his head and smiled. “What are you doing? Recording?”

“Nee oppa but it’s already done for today…” Yuna answered. “How’s about oppa?”

“Me? Nothing. I’m just composing some musics…” said Jonghyun. “Are you alone?” he continued to ask since he didn’t see the rest of AOA members.

“Nee. Today is my recording parts, oppa…”

“Geure? Ah, do you want one?” Jonghyun suddenly remembered that he was holding two cups of coffee. “But it might already infected because of my sneeze before…”

Yuna laughed. “You’re so funny, oppa. Can I?”

“Sure.” Jonghyun smiled and offered one cup to Yuna. They were drinking the coffe while walking along the corridor. “Then where are you going after this? Go home?”

“Nee.” Yuna nodded. “But I still have to wait because the van will pick Seolhyun in SBS building first…”

“Then you can wait here…” Jonghyun said while pointing at his producing room. “Or do you prefer to be alone in the lobby?”

“Wont I disturb you, oppa?” Yuna asked, afraid if it’s inconvenient.

“Of course no. Come in.”

 

 

Meanwhile…

“You didn’t meet him yet?”

Yoona--who was sitting on her bed while hugging tightly to her knees—shook her head weakly. This is already two days after Jonghyun left her in front of the dorm. And until now, Yoona still feels the heartache when she remembered Jonghyun’s hurtful expression that time. She looked at her phone hopelessly. Yesterday he even didn’t want to answer all of my calls… then what should I do…

Yuri looked at Yoona and sighed. She knew that Yoona pretended to be strong in front of the others, but actually for these two nights, she realized that Yoona always cried alone when everyone already fell asleep. “If he didn’t want to answer your calls, then go meet him…”

Yoona shook her head again. “How can I meet if he even didn’t want to answer my calls, unnie?”

“Go to his dorm.”

“No. He didn’t answer my calls, it means he still didn’t want to meet with me… If I come to his dorm, it’ll just make him feel inconvenient…”

“Then how about your feeling? Are you fine with this condition??”

Yoona didn’t answer Yuri’s question. She just sighed and took the white bear that Jonghyun gave her then hugged it. But it just makes her feels the ache more. The teddy bear… it makes her missed Jonghyun more and more. She buried her face on that bear to hide her tears. What should I do so you can forgive me? I missed you so much…

“He never called you even once?” Yuri asked again.

“No…” Yoona said while sadly looking at her phone. “Unnie… I’m so afraid that he’ll leave me…” she said in very weak tone while her tears dropped slowly.

Yuri approached Yoona and caressed her back. “Andwae… Hey, he loves you so much. He will forgive you, believe me.”

Yoona shook her head hopelessly. “Unnie… he might forgive me… but I’m still afraid that he’ll leave me… I don’t know why but I’m so afraid that he’ll leave me when I look at his eyes that time… Those eyes… those eyes are different unnie…”

“Then, meet him, Yoong! Try to call him once again! If he didn’t answer, keep calling him! Ask him to meet! Ask him to meet and talk about this!” Yuri took Yoona’s phone and pressed the shortcut dial on the screen. “Don’t run away from your problem, Yoong…”

“Yoboseoyo?”

Both Yoona and Yuri was startled when a voice suddenly heard from the phone. They looked at the screen and found that Jonghyun already answered the phone. Yuri gave the phone to Yoona in a hurry and left the room after giving an encourage to Yoona

“Yoboseoyo…?” Jonghyun’s voice once again was heard on the phone since no one answered him.

“Oppa…” Yoona finally let out a voice. Although her eyes were teary right now and her voice is so weak because when she heard that voice, she realized that how she missed him so much…

“Oh…” Jonghyun’s voice sounds surprised when he heard Yoona’s voice. “Wae?”

“Odiga?” Yoona asked again, trying to control her voice so it can sounded normally.

“Wae?” Jonghyun asked back.

“Anii…” Yoona bites her lips. “Can we… can we meet, oppa?” she encouraged herself to ask.

Jonghyun was quiet for a while. “When?”

“Tonight?”

“I can’t.” he answered pretty fast, and it makes Yoona feels a bit hurt.

“Then tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow I already agree to meet Sojin noona. So I can’t.” Jonghyun answered straightly.

Sojin noona? Did he mean Girl’s Day Sojin? I know that they’re bestfriends but... Yoona really wanted to ask why he’ll meet Sojin but she couldn’t let it out. Since she knew the situation between them right now is not good and she knew, right now she’s not in the right place to ask about it. But still… he said he couldn’t meet me because he already agreed to meet with other girl? He even still able to meet with other girl when our situation is like that?? She feels more hurt but she know she shouldn’t give up. “Then… the day after tomorrow?”

“I have to prac—“ Jonghyun couldn’t finish his words because he suddenly sneezed hardly. “—tice.”

“Oppa, are you sick??” Yoona couldn’t hide her worried. His voice even sounds huskier than usual…

“No. I’m fine.” Jonghyun replied shortly. “Let’s just meet after I’m back from Beijing…”

Oh! Yoona suddenly remembered something when Jonghyun mentioned Beijing. Isn’t manager oppa said yesterday that we’ll have a schedule in Beijing too?? Manager oppa said something about China-Korea Friendship Concert and that time Seohyun said about the same date with Bluemoon in Beijing concert… “Actually I think I'll have a schedule in Beijing too at the same day with your concert oppa…”

“Oh?” Jonghyun’s voice sounds a bit surprised. “But still we can’t meet there so… later.”

“Arasseo, oppa…” Yoona knew that she should ended the call now, regarding to Jonghyun’s voice tone. She really wanted to say that she really missed him but her tongue feels numb. So after said a proper goodbye, she ended the call. He sounds so different...And also… why he had to meet Sojin? Is there something that they want to talk about?? Why he’s so free to meet with other g—She was about to say other girls but it suddenly makes her realized something. You did the same thing, didn’t you, Yoong? He always let you to meet with any people that you want to meet… then it’s right if he wanted to meet his friends too… He won’t tell me that he’ll meet with Sojin if it’s a secret that he want to hide from me… He said it straightly…  That's the difference... He didnt lie... Yoona’s tears dropped more. He’s right… I was the one who betrayed his trust… Why that time I couldn’t do the same thing with him? Why I couldn’t say it straightly that I had a dinner with Seunggi oppa not with my members… Why???? He was right… If he said it so straightly like that, then it means there’s nothing special with the meeting… Now I understood why he feels so hurt… She hugged tightly the bear and dropped her tears there. Please don’t leave me… I’m so scared…

 

* * *

 

“I think oppa should go to doctor…” Yuna said after Jonghyun ended the call with Yoona. “You’ve sneezed so many times and your voice sounds huskier, oppa…”

“No need. I’m fine…” Jonghyun smiled and sipped his coffee. It must be because I couldn’t sleep even for a minute these nights…

“I think Yoona sunbaenim said the same thing before, when oppa was talking with her on the phone, right?” Yuna guessed. “Since oppa answered the same too…”

Jonghyun didn’t answer Yuna’s question and just formed a little smile.

“Wae, oppa?” Yuna continued to ask. “Oppa seems different these days…”

Jonghyun raised his eyebrows. “What do you mean?”

“Geunyang… Maybe oppa didn’t remember but two days ago we bumped each other in the corridor and entered elevator together… and that time I was asking what’s wrong with you but you didn’t answer me at all, oppa. You even looks like didn’t realize that there are people around you, oppa…”

“Ah… two days ago…? When is it exactly? Morning?”

“Nee… Maybe around 10 in the morning? It was when I just arrived to start the practice here…”

Jonghyun grimaced upon hearing Yuna’s answer. That was the time when I just back from her dorm. “Mian… Jeongmal mian. My brain was having some errors at that time. So, you’re the one who sent me until the studio?”

“Anii. It’s not sending you, oppa. Because you didn’t press any button when you entered the elevator, so I took an initiate to press the 2nd floor… I think I did a wrong thing so I wanted to ask to oppa that time, but oppa just went out from the elevator without saying anything…”

“Ah… Mian… I really didn’t realize that it was you. Mianhae…”

“No need, oppa. All of us sometimes acted like that…” Yuna shook her head and smiled at Jonghyun.

Jonghyun nodded lightly and sipped his drink again. “But still, I apologize. I even think that my brain was so dead at that time…” And even until now.

“Waeyo, oppa?”

Jonghyun tried to smile calmly. “There is—you know—a personal problem…”

“Aah…” Yuna nodded in understand. Seems like she  knew that it’s about Jonghyun’s privacy so she didn’t ask more about the problem. “But usually, experiencing happy or sad things can give us a new inspiration for composing new music, oppa. Right?”

“Of course. But actually you can only get the inspiration after the problem is solved already. When it’s still in a mess, for sure you couldn’t think of anything…”

“Right...”

“Wae?” Jonghyun smiled. “Seems like you’ve already experienced something like that…”

Yuna just smiled a little when she heard Jonghyun’s words. “Actually first time I composed a song when it was three years ago…”

“Oh jeongmal? Then it must be since you entered as a trainee… Woah. I composed my first song when I started become a trainee too… What's that song about?”

“Uhm… I think it’s a happy one…” Yuna kept smiling calmly when she answered Jonghyun’s question. “About… uhm… falling in love…”

“Ah geure? Then it means you were falling in love at that ti—“ he stopped when he suddenly realized why Yuna’s expression looks a bit strange. “Ah… mian…” he apologized. Now I know why her eyes looks a bit sad when we were talking about this. If she said that she ever fell in love when she just entered as a trainee… it means… me… Aish… why I asked her so nonchalantly like this… Now I feel bad

“Gwaenchana, oppa. Don’t apologize. Beside, it was the past…”

“But still… mian…” Jonghyun sincerely apologized.

“Oppa, I’m okay.” Yuna chuckled. “Please don’t feel sorry…”

There’s a long silence between them after the awkward topic until Jonghyun finally spoke out again. “Yuna… can I ask something?”

“Sure.”

“Actually I got this question when I guested in Radio Star last year. And I suddenly remembered it again right now. What is the most thing that you couldn’t forgive if your boyfriend did it…?”

Yuna raised her eyebrows, looks surprised about Jonghyun’s question, but she still thought about it for a while. “Uhm… being dishonest with me… I think...”

“Wh—“ Jonghyun was about to ask more but suddenly Yuna’s phone is ringing. It’s from her manager and said that the van already waiting for her.

“Oppa. Seems like I should go home now. Sorry for disturbing your time, oppa…”

“Museun seoriya? I was the one who feel thankful because you were here…” Jonghyun smiled. “You should go home faster and take a good rest.”

“Ye, oppa. Kamsahamnida…” Yuna bowed once again before she left the dorm. But before she opened the door, she stopped and turned to Jonghyun again. “Oppa should have enough rest too so oppa won’t get sick…”

Jonghyun just nodded lightly. “Ah Yuna, can I ask something before you leave?”

“Sure, oppa. What is it?”

“What if… what if your boyfriend was being dishonest with you? What will you do with him?”

“Well… I consider to end the relationship, oppa. Although I know that it must be hurt for me and him, but I think I couldn’t be together with someone who already betrayed my trust…” Yuna answered without any doubt.

“Geure...? And--last question, I promise—what if you really love him? Are you still dare enough and ready enough to end your relationship?”

Yuna was thinking for a while before she answered. “I think I can do it. I’ll end it no matter what. Trust is the most important point in a relationship after love. If he betrayed my trust, it means, he betrayed my love for him too.” Said Yuna. “Omo, oppa. Don’t laugh please. You're asking to someone who's lacking of experience about love. You must be think that I was talking nonsense, right?”

“No, I won’t laugh... And actually our thoughts are kinda similar in some ways.” Jonghyun smiled. “Arasseo. Gomawo, Yuna. For answering my nonsense questions…”

Yuna smiled. “Nevermind, oppa. See you then... and please take care of your health…” she waved and left Jonghyun alone in that room.

After Yuna left, Jonghyun leaned his back on his chair while staring at the ceiling. Her though about relationship is exactly similar with mine… but… thinking of that point… I should ask myself…  am I… am I ready to leave her?

 


 

Next Day. CNBlue’s dorm.

“Where’s Jonghie? Is he awake already?” Yonghwa who just finished to take a shower and take a seat while waiting for Jungshin to cook the breakfast, asked the maknaes.

“Ah… did Jonghie hyung even have any sleeps? I don’t think so, hyung…” Minhyuk said while looking at Jonghyun’s room which was still closed and quiet. “Last night I was awaken because I really want to go to toilet and I found that he was sitting alone in here. I thought that he was playing game but the PC is being abandoned, he only sat without doing anything. And that was 3 in the morning—I mean, usually Jonghie hyung is hard to sleep well and only slept for 2 or 3 hours because he was doing musics but right now… the situation is different…”

“He never slept… I know…” Yonghwa mumbled while looking at Jonghyun’s door too. “I’ll go check him, first.” He said and stood up, followed by Minhyuk and even Jungshin—who was cooking the ramyun. Yonghwa turned the door knob since he knew that Jonghyun is rare to lock his room. And he’s right. The door is unlocked. Yonghwa opened the door and found that Jonghyun was lying facedown on his bed.

“Is he sleeping, hyung?” Jungshin unconsciously whispered when he saw Jonghyun didn’t make any moves.

“I think so…” Yonghwa muttered and approached Jonghyun closer. He put his palm in front of Jonghyun’s face—which makes his dongsaengs looks confused with him— He tried to feel Jonghyun’s breath because he noticed something different. Jonghyun is not breathing normally. “Yya! Kids, give me a thermometer, ppalli!” Yonghwa exclaimed in a sudden when he feels that Jonghyun’s breathe is too warm.

Jungshin rushed off to the corner side of Jonghyun’s room which Jonghyun usually put the first aid kit and the other things. He took out a thermometer and gave it to Yonghwa.

Yonghwa put the thermometer in Jonghyun’s ears for a moment and take it back to check the temperature. “Kids, call manager hyung. His temperature is 40 C!” he said as he looked at the thermometer.

“Hyung, should we take him to the hospital??” Minhyuk asked in worried tone while Jungshin tried to call their manager who’s in the office right now. “Jonghie hyung looks so pale…”

“I think so. His fever is so damn high—What did manager hyung say?” he asked Jungshin as soon as Jungshin ended the call.

“We’ll take him to the hospital. Hyung will be here in a minute.”

“Should we try to wake him up? Honestly, I couldn’t imagine that three of us can carry Jonghie hyung. I mean… look at those muscles…” Jungshin said while grimacing—although he’s worry a lot but that’s the important point to think about too.

“Actually I’m not suppose to laugh but your brain is seriously out of topic, you know…” Yonghwa couldn’t help but grinned towards Jungshin’s words. “We’ll wake him up if manager hyung already arrived here…”

 

 

 

“Until when I should stay here? Can’t you take me home?” Jonghyun asked while lying weakly in the bed. He is in the hospital right now, in one of VIP room. The doctors already examined him and they said that he should get a full bedrest and suggested that he need hospitalized for a night since his condition needs to take care seriously. s had been there for him but Minhyuk had left him an hour ago due to his personal schedule—script reading of his new drama.

Yonghwa, who was playing Go Stop—a famous cardgame in Korea—with Jungshin, turned at Jonghyun while grimacing. “Just wait. Manager hyung said you can go home tomorrow… it’s better to leave at very early morning so media won’t know anything about this…”

“This isn’t a big news. They won’t have any interest to publish it even if they knew…”

“Heol… you even still couldn’t realize how popular you are…” said Yonghwa while keep playing with Jungshin. “Daepyonim was here when you were still sleeping. He said that the family want to visit you too but since we should keep it from media, so they apologized that they couldn’t come…”

“Geure? Right. They shouldn’t come… I’m not sick at all…”

“Hoh, he’s still stubborn eventhough he’s sick right now, hyung…” Jungshin grimaced at Yonghwa. “Hyung, you should feel thankful. Coordi noona came while bringing so many food for us. She said that those all from the family… FT and the others were bought and AOA cooked it for us… It’s daebak, isn’t it?”

“Why they had to do those all? Told you, I’m not sick…” Jonghyun still acted stubbornly.

“Yeah. You’re not sick, Jonghie. You only had 40 degree fever and had a symptom of typhoid…” said Yonghwa while grinning. “Don’t you want to eat? Thanks to the family, the foods are so delicious…”

“Yes, because someone was cooking it with love…” Jungshin muttered so Jonghyun can’t hear him, but not with Yonghwa, he gave Jungshin a warning glance.

“Jong, don’t you think that you should tell her?” Yonghwa asked casually—trying to change the topic.

Jonghyun stared at Yonghwa coldly. “No. Didn’t you say that we should hide it from media, hyung? If she knew, she probably came here and get too much attention…”

“But you can tell her not to come. I think she’ll understand. I mean… at least tell her about your condition… She even didn’t know anything until now… If only you didn’t nag at me and prevented me to call Seohyun on the way to here, she must be already know about your condition right now…”

“No, this is not a big deal. She shouldn’t know…”

“She shouldn’t know… or you are the one who didn’t want to contact her?” asked Yonghwa, straight to the point. “Cmon, Jonghie, don’t make the situation between you and her became more complicated…”

“No I don’t, because it’s so complicated already, even before I did something…” Jonghyun said bitterly.

Yonghwa and Jungshin let out a heavy sigh. They knew that Jonghyun can be so stubborn if it’s about his pride. Although they can’t put the blame on him too because they already know about Jonghyun and Yoona’s problem.

“Arasseo. I understand, Jonghie…” Yonghwa finally said wisely. “But just let me to tell Seohyun, so at least Yoona still can know your condition. I’ll tell her too that no one allowed to do a visit…” he tried to persuade Jonghyun.

“Ye, hyung. If you feel that you still couldn’t talk with her, then at least, let her know, although it’s from Yonghwa hyung…” Jungshin joined to persuade his hyung.

It needs few minutes until Jonghyun finally responds them. “Fine. Do what you want. But please make sure to tell her that she shouldn’t come here…”

Yonghwa and Jungshin exchanged glances while holding his smile. “Arasseo. Then, just take a rest. Your body needs it so much. Jungshin and I will buy some coffee, first...” said Yonghwa, and went out from the room, while Jungshin was following him with confused looks.

“Hyung, but we still have our coffee left…” Jungshin asked as soon as they closed the door from outside. “And also manager hyung said that we better to stay inside so people won’t notice us…”

Yonghwa put his finger on his mouth, signaling Jungshin to lower his voice. “Relax. There’s no other rooms except some of VIP room in this floor. And you know, it’s so quiet. Just look how empty this corridor…”

“Seems like you’re right, hyung. But why we have to go outside?” Jungshin still looks confused.

“Yya, are you planning to make Jonghyun feels annoying if I was talking on the phone with Yoona in front of him? Yes, I’m going to call Yoona directly. Not Seohyun. Actually Seohyun already knew that we’re here but I told him not to tell anyone even it’s her members.”

“Aah…” Jungshin nodded. “But why I have to leave the room too?”

“Because I want to tell you something!” Yonghwa suddenly hit Jungshin’s head. “You, why you mentioned about someone who was cooking with love just now??”

“Ah…” Jungshin grimaced while scratching his head. “I just spontaneously said it, hyung. Mian… but, wae? I don’t think that it’s a big deal, hyung. I mean, there’s nothing between Jonghie hyung and Yuna, right? Did they already make it clear? That Jonghie hyung couldn’t accept Yuna’s feeling? And they agreed to become bestfriends, rather than lovers?”

“Right.” Yonghwa nodded. “But although there’s nothing between them, you know that Yuna still had a feeling for Jonghie, right?”

Jungshin nodded with confused looks. “But Jonghie hyung said that he didn’t look at Yuna more than just a dongsaeng, and a friend…”

“Right…” Yonghwa nodded again. “But, let me tell you. You know that situation between Yoona—SNSD Yoona, I mean, don’t get confused—with Jonghyun is complicated right now. And we know too that it was Yoona who make a mistake. It means, the card is in Jonghyun right now. Their relationship will back to normal or it will end, it depends on him right now. Depends on his feeling…”

“And? Please continue it, because I’m not understand yet, hyung…”

“Don’t disturb him with someone—you know what I mean? His heart is unstable right now. You know, when the heart is unstable, that was the easiest time for someone to come and take a place in his heart. I’m not saying that Yuna was trying to get the chance—no of course no. She didn’t do anything like that. I’m just trying to say that we should helped him to realize that no one can take over Yoona’s place. No one can replace her in Jonghyun’s. I’m just afraid if he didn’t realize about it and he’ll regret about it later. I don’t want it turned out like that. That’s why I warned you before, Jungshin-ah…”

“Now I understand…” Jungshin nodded. “Arasseo. I think you’re right hyung. I won’t say the same thing again. But hyung, can I ask? How could you know about this thing so detailed?”

Yonghwa grimaced upon hearing Jungshin’s question. “Because I almost experienced it once. And I don’t want my dongsaeng almost experienced the same too… Because, believe me, it seriously can make you crazy…” he said while smiling meaningfully. “Now, you, go inside. I’m done with you. I should call Yoona right now.”

 

 

 

SM Building. SNSD’ Practice Room.

“Yoong, your phone!” Sooyoung yelled when Yoona’s phone—which was beside her—was ringing loudly. While the owner was slumped on the floor while hugging to her knees, seems like didn’t aware about the situation around her. Everytime they were having a break, Yoona is always in that position.

“Yoong!!” Sooyoung yelled again and offered Yoona’s phone. “Your phone is ringing.” She said when Yoona finally looked at her.

Yoona took her phone and looked at the screen. Her eyebrows suddenly raised when she found that Yonghwa is calling her. She looked at Seohyun confusedly but seems like Seohyun already knew that it was from Yonghwa because she nodded at Yoona, signalling to answer the phone. Wae? I have a bad feeling about this… Without she realized, her hands were shaking when she answered the call. “Yoboseoyo…”

“Yoboseoyo. Yoona? It’s Yonghwa.”

“N—nee, Yongseobang. What’s the matter?”

“Uhm… that’s… you know…” Yonghwa’s voice sounded hesitant. “Uhm… that’s… Jonghie…”

Yoona held her breath as she heard Yonghwa’s words. “Wae? What happened with him???” she asked with tense voice.

“He is… Jonghie is hospitalized right now… because—“

“MWOH???” Yoona exclaimed because of shock. She feels that she’s out of breath right now. “WAE?? WHAT HAPPENED WITH HIM??? WHERE IS HE RIGHT NOW?? WHICH HOSPITAL???”

“Calm down… calm down… Listen to me first.”

“PLEASE TELL ME—“

“Of course I’ll tell you. But calm down first. Okay. We brought him to the hospital this morning because he suddenly had a very high fever. It’s 40 degree. And the doctor said he’s having a syndom of typhoid but if he get enough rest and took the medicine, he can recover quickly. So, that’s why the doctor said he should be hospitalized for one night so he can get enough bedrest…”

“And… where is he right now? How’s his condition???” Yoona asked weakly. while her tears already dropped as she heard Yonghwa explained Jonghyun’s condition.

“He’s sleeping right now. Hopefully he can get better quickly. And we’re in AMC right now—“

“WHICH ROOM??”

“But Yoona, forgive me, I think you couldn’t visit him…”

“Mwoh??” Yoona burst out more tears. “Wae? Why I can’t visit my man???” she asked and sobbed more hardly when Yonghwa explained the situation. “How if I guarantee that no one will notice me? Can I visit him? Can you make an exception? Please, Yongseobang, I beg you…”

“If only I was the one who can decided it, I’ll allow you, Yoona. But mian, I’m not. So please forgive us. I really hope that you can understand. If you want to visit him, you can visit him tomorrow at our dorm. We’ll go home in early morning…”

Yoona still wanted to make an excuse, but she realized that it’s just useless. She knows that the decision is not in Yonghwa’s hands. She sighed heavily and wiped her tears which were still dropping continuously. “Arasseo… I understand… but please, can I contacted you frequently? At least I should know his condition…”

“Sure. You can contacted me or Jungshin. We’re with Jonghie right now.”

“Gomawo… and Yongseobang… can I ask one question?”

“Sure…”

Yoona took a deep breath before she spoke again. “Is he… Is he still disappointed with me? Please answer me honestly…” she asked weakly. She can noticed that Yonghwa was having a hard time to answer her question and it makes her feel more sad.

“I think I’m not in right place to answer it. But I think I can give you a clue. Uhm… I’m the one who called you, Yoona. Not him…”

Yoona feels that her heart was being stabbed by a knife as she heard the honest answer from Yonghwa. Right… Why I’m so late to realize it? He’s not calling me… he didn’t tell me about his condition… He made it so clear… “I understand. Then, gomawo, Yongseobang… Please… please, I beg you, please take care of him…”

“Sure. Mianhae about before, Yoona.”

“Ye…” Yoona said and just let go off her phone like that. She even didn’t care already that she dropped her phone on the floor. She even couldn’t hear what was her sisters asked about… She even couldn’t see anything clearly because of her flood of tears. It’s because of me… he’s sick because of me… It’s because of me… What kind of girlfriend I am?? I only give him the pain and ache… And now I even couldn’t be there beside him… What kind of girlfriend I am…?? Or… is he still thinking of me as his girlfriend…? Or am I the only one who’s still thinking like that…? God… why it feels so hurt… I don’t think I can bear this hurt feeling anymore…

 

 

 

 


annyeong :)

first of all, forgive me for this lame chapt and lack in sooo many parts huhu T.T and I'm sorry that this chapt didtn have any Jongyoon moments. Well. I think I already wrote so much in few chaptrs back.

and about Jonghyun being hospitalized, I wrote it on purposeYou guys must still remembered around that time, Jonghyun often spotted in the hospital, right? and he looks so unhealthy that time... that's why...

so, do you guys have some suggests , critics or feedbacks for this chapt? just tell me if you dont mind ^^ i'll accept it gladly.

as usual, and always, thank you very much for my lovely subscriber, readers, comments, upvoters friends and all of you who still supported this story. ^^ love u all.

see ya next chapt :)

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Comments

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iamMRsimple
#1
Chapter 2: Rereading again and I still can feel the feels... Awwww.
Fidiyoong #2
Chapter 44: Please complete this story too authornim. I always re read your story
Shin_HaYoung
#3
Chapter 7: I really like your writing style how you mix Korean with English. I write like that too on AO3 but I get a lot of negative reviews for it
iamMRsimple
#4
Chapter 44: Lol. I thought this fic already ended when I reread it. Hope you'll update soon :)
pchanel
#5
Chapter 44: AAHHHHHHHH UPDATE PLEASE!
jjjong
#6
Miss deerburning story
Firacardosh #7
Aauthor-nim please update this story! I really want to know what will happen to JongYoon relationship! *puppy eyes*
CNBDania
#8
Chapter 44: Omg, i love this story, keep writing. I will always wait for your update.
Tracer1 #9
Chapter 4: Someone recommended this fanfic and it's good! ^_^
durebak_eve10 #10
Authornimmmmmm.....updatee pleaseeeee ~~ this is the best jongyoon fanfic ever !!!