Hi, i finally finished writing this chapter, it's kinda long though. And oh before i forget, for the succeeding updates, i'll be recommending songs to listen to while you read, so please do tune in to those songs.

Thanks for staying with me guys! :)

Read on

The night breeze has that extra feel of chill, making her shrug involuntarily like she's anxious about something which would be unusual because she's just at a small gathering with her long-time friends that she hasn't seen for ages and had missed oh so dearly.

It's quite amazing, she thinks, to have this kind of bond with people, to spend most of your teenage years with them and grow up together, gradually transforming from pimply run-of-the mill teens into gorgeous women the world has its eyes on and yet feel like you're eighteen year olds having a slumber party, talking about hot people, nail polish and planning mischief.

She sighs, a happy one, as she looks at them from outside, arms crossed, placidly swaying a wine flute on one hand.

"So… marriage huh?" a girl beside her surmised, face impeccably flawless although most of the time she looks lethargic and stoic.

Tiffany nods away.

"That's one hell of a plot twist" the girl said, eyebrows creased and eyes unmoving, but there's a glint of something tender from the way she looked at the girl.

"Did you get that dig from a book or somewhere else?" Tiffany quipped, aiming facetiousness.

"The internet" the girl replied matter-of-factly.

Tiffany chuckled, "So I got married and you’re techie Jessie all of a sudden?"

Jessica rolled her eyes and smiled. "You could say that", she quips, leans her back against the balcony's railings and crosses her feet. She glances at Tiffany, as if waiting for the latter to say something, but notices the girl zoning out, staring at nothing. Jessica's gaze diverted downcast.

A comfortable silence engulfed them for several blissful moments. Far-off voices, laughter, and chatters from the people inside hang in the still air along with the faint melody of some pop song of today's era.

"Are you sure about him?" Jessica asks out of nowhere, concern painted all over her fair face.

Tiffany sighs heavily. Everyone's been doing that, asking her stuffs about the two of them and a certain person, and she feels distressed, she feels being asked one plus one and her answer is three.

"Will you be okay later? I heard she's coming tonight"

"Why wouldn't I be?" She answers, feigning integrity, giving Jessica a hoax smile.

"Oh come on Tiff, what do you take me for? You seriously think I'd fall for that?”

Tiffany looks at her with despondent eyes seemingly ready to break down at given any moment. Her strong walls came crashing down in an instant. She's been struggling for far too long.

"I miss her Jess, I miss her a lot" she croaks.

"I know, so why'd you do it then?"

"I...I don't  know, honestly, every night, I've been asking myself the same question, it's not like I'm regretting it or anything, it's just that.. I don't know, I don't know" she stuttered, taking a mouthful of wine, face contorting unpleasantly afterwards.

After living with someone for the longest period ever in your life, is it easily possible to suddenly detach yourself and start living on your own?

With a new person perhaps?

***

Jessica looks at her emphatically. She had been there, in Tiffany's place.

Being young and confused, young and scared, young and unsure.

 And now, still young but regretful.

"You shouldn't have done what I did" she utters. Tiffany nods her head slowly; eyes blank and sighs for the umpteenth time that day.

They all know, the whole group, that in the course of their adolescence there had been romantic tensions between members, they think it's pretty normal, fifteen or sixteen year olds living with other sixteen year olds that were equally beautiful and talented, it's hard not to admire some of them, and it's hard not to be admired back.

It’s part of growing up, as they justify it.

Identity crisis. Am I straight? Am I gay? Do I like boys? Do I like girls? Together, they figured it out alongside some experimentation that thankfully has no videos whatsoever, cause if there is, then the fandom would probably be going insane by now and their fans would be killing themselves out of sheer happiness.

When those people see them hold hands or hug or do any kind of physical contact, immediately, smiles and squeals and blog posts would appear. But imagine if they saw the things they did back then with each other, all jaws would drop. Sooyoung had hinted it before on some TV show, that members had done things far greater than mediocre hugs and whatnot.

So while others have solved their puzzle, the remainder was left hanging. Either they were still unsure or in denial, others kept mum, like their leader. She doesn't voice out her thoughts much, she doesn't want to be a burden she says, but the others cajole her, Sunny especially. They want her to open up to them, because they've become a family and isn't that what family's all about?

The night is coming alive. 29 minutes had passed since Tiffany set foot into Sunny's new abode. Jessica turns around, rests her elbows on the balcony railings, clasps her hands together and blows hot breath onto it before staring into Seoul's night traffic.

"How has she been?" Tiffany asks, looking at Jessica.

"The usual, grumpy old lady, she immersed herself into music like always  and did weird, harmless things after your wedding. But I can say that she's better now, i think..." Jessica answers, a small smile decorated her thin lipstick-clad lips.

"Really? That's good to hear"

"I'm a bit worried later though, when she comes"

"Why? Doesn't she know that I arrived in Seoul today?"

"I think she knows, and that's why I'm worried, I don't know what to expect."

Tiffany feels something bitter gnaw her insides, she decides to divert the topic.

"So tell me about yourself, what naughty things have you been doing while I was away huh?" Tiffany inquires a second later, biting back a floozy snort.

"Puh-lease Hwang, you know I'm very much well-behaved" she scoffs, shooting Tiffany a playful smirk.

"Well-behaved my " she spats back and snuggles closer to the girl, loops her arms around Jessica's. They stare at the dancing city lights together.

"You know, I think that even if I pursued her back then, all my efforts would be in vain" says the shorter of the two.

"What do you mean?"

"I was so desperate to be in the 'rage' before, you know, couple pairings the fans love so much" she started.

Tiffany kept quiet, scooted closer to her  for the air is starting to lose its mercy. She feels Jessica shudder, she then placed her chin on the latter's shoulder.

"So I did, and I thought Taeyeon would be perfect for me, I mean we do look cute together right? Plus, we go way back, we had mutual understanding."

Tiffany looked at her, an eyebrow raised and lips curved upwards.

"Oh don't be childish! I mean I just thought me and taeyeon's pairing would be cute, so I went with it thinking that it would help the group's popularity and I  somehow needed a distraction after breaking up with Donghae. After that, it was Yuri since I kinda sensed that she was scared of me, it'd be easy."

"You manipulative " the other commented.

They laugh.

"But then, i realized Taeyeon's fragile, that I somehow made a wrong move and it  broke her, she wasn't used to this" Jessica points to herself and Tiffany, pertaining to their background of growing up in the States and being playful when it comes to matters of the heart.

"She was different after that, I can tell, she's too cautious, like she's walking on eggshells around me, enclosing herself in a protective cocoon when I'm in the room, avoids any interaction as far as possible. That was before though, and that was the worst, gradually I notice her trying to reach out awkwardly, that was the time you were her roommate, little by little and I tried my best to salvage whatever's left with us, and I was shocked that it left a mark to me too"

She swallows hard, feels her heart thump faster.

hurts for some reason.

"It was in the later stages of our debut that it dawned on me that I actually like Taeyeon, I like her, but was so blind before to actually see it, my mind was disoriented and clouded with tons of other stuff or maybe I was in denial, doesn't matter anymore though. And so, whenever I see you guys together i always think 'oh i could've had that, that could have been me'

I know it's petty and all that, being envious and jealous of you but for some strage reason, I got used to the feeling, of just watching you guys, though it sometimes hurt, okay, most of the time, I just...you just have that innate chemistry that even I, think that maybe, just maybe, Taeyeon and I didn't happen because you are bound to have her."

Tiffany's heart swelled with frank revelry, the confessions were heartfelt, and she was thankful to Jessica for that, but she can't help but feel a pang of guilt and pain, barreling through her beating organ, eating her inside out.

At least Jessica was here to look after her when I wasn't around

"Thanks jessie, seriously" she breathes out shakily and Jessica thinks it's because of the cold, Tiffany pushes back the tears threatening to fall, silently second-motioning everything single thing  Jessica had said. Tiffany saw things on the internet, about her and her bestfriend, and how Jessica would look so out of place, disappearing in the background, unable to have something that she's wanted for so long, or someone rather, Tiffany was thankful, that they were all open-minded and mature to accept these things, to be able to comprehend and not hold grudges against each other, so she was really, deeply grateful to Jessica.

"That's why it's a real waste, this, you guys together. A part of me should feel relief or something but I actually was heartbroken for the two of you, and I still am, you are such an inconvenience." she shakes her head, a 'tch' was heard later.

Of course, Jessica meant that gesture affectionately.

"I love you too" Tiffany says later.

***

 Her phone vibrates, turns out it has been vibrating for several minutes now and she was just too preoccupied to notice it, too numb, she checks the caller id but does nothing.

"You should get that"

"Nah"

"He's probably worried"

"He knows where I am, he knows i'm safe" Tiffany answers back, face unchanged and downs the remaining wine in her flute. Jessica does the same.

"What about Yuri?" Tiffany asks out of the blue and totally irrelevant.

"Oh my, aren't you a nosy one, gosh"

"I have the right to know!"

"It was, i don't know, I think something's wrong with me, I don't know what I want, Yuri's like one of the best, she's definitely girlfriend material, plus she swings"

"How about you? Which way do you swing?"

"I have no idea, stop interrogating me about it, Yuri's happy now, she has unni, she treats her well, and they love each other. Good for the both of them"

"Oh yeah, the one who gave her a car?"

"And made her acting career blossom too, so all is well, except for you, that is" Jessica retorted, finally avenging herself from Tiffany's nonstop interrogation a while ago.

"Great quip" the other one admitted and it made Jessica grin  saucily.

"What the hell are you two doing here and why the long faces? No one died and the party is inside, you're missing it out, get back in here quick, Taeng's near, she called me" Sunny spoke, her eyes widen for a  moment, realizing it only after Jessica gave her a strange look.

"On second thought, fany,  take your time" she supplied further.

"No need Sunny, I'm a-okay, right Jessie?" the girl said as she gave both girls a fake smile before dragging Jessica by the arm and into the living room that was  booming with music as Sooyoung and Yoona sang in a very unladylike manner while Yuri and Hyoyeon danced quirkily. Seohyun was admiring Sunkyu's interior design near the kitchen.

Little did she know, the two girls behind her looked at each other with disdain, pity reflecting on the duo's pair of brown orbs.

And there we go, get ready for the next one :)

Taeyeon's POV this time, Take care everyone

and if you're curious about the 'people' that i put together with the other members, check my foreword. 

Everyone's there