Hello? Anybody here? *peeks from behind sofa* You guys still alive? Mehe, I TREMENDOUSLY APOLOGIZE FOR THE UBER LATE ROTTEN UPDATE OF STAY *really embarassed*, well cause of the holiday seasons and my birthday and new year and stuff at work, my boss actually caught me making stories this time lol, so yeah. told me not to do it in the office, ah that Choi, tss.

Anyway, here we go, the fluff ending but still, I added a pinch of pepper called angst ;)

Thanks a lot for reading y'all really, your support was overwhelming! til next time

(imma try to continue my other pending fics now...)

Marriage is worth the pain if love is present. Then again, we humans are very foolish and simple-minded creatures believing that a sudden flurry of flutter would last an eternity.

There was a loud bang that resounded in the café, all heads turned.

Her face couldn’t be any more redder and his nostrils were flaring, angry tears suppress itself from falling.

Closing his eyes, he heaved. The other patrons were staring at them now, gossiping, he could hear their mouths buzzing with words that will probably turn to news tomorrow on TV, printed media and all over blog sites.

The quivering waitress scampered to clean the shattered pieces of fine china and spilt coffee.

“How could you…”

“I tried, believe me, I tried, for two long years, I did try.”

“And yet? What? So you decide you want to try experimenting with marriage like hot rice and when you get burnt, you spit it out? What about my feelings? Did you ever consider how I would feel? How all this time I’ve given you all my…

He stopped and looked around, cleared his throat and continued in a much lower voice

…all my love, then you do this, confess that you never felt the same way?” he finished, sounding hopeless.

“I did have feelings for you”

“Did?”

“It’s just not…enough” It’s not that strong unlike what I feel for her.

She kept her head low for she wanted to cry but held her composure, she couldn’t cry, not in front of all these people, their house’s living room would be such a better place to discuss such sensitive topics but when she was about to break the news to him, he decided they get coffee outside, she just couldn’t wait to let it out of her chest. It was for the best anyway, she couldn’t live with the conscience of doing this to him for God knows how long. Keeping it going would only cause him to hurt tremendously.

Fingers removed a white silver band on her ring finger. A little clank was heard as the object was placed atop the marble coffee table. He lifelessly sank back to his chair, like he lost a million dollar poker game. His eyes were red and watery, face engulfed in his brusque hands as he exasperatingly pulled strands of his hair, holding back all the mixed emotions until he couldn’t handle it anymore, but before he could lash out at her again…

She was off into the streets, but not without shedding a number of guilty tears.

Taeyeon had gone home after a week of camping out at Sunkyu’s. She opens the apartment door and notices that nothing had changed. Not even the formation of the cracked eggshells she threw in the trash bin when she had prepared a breakfast in bed for a bare Yejin who was at that time, clad in nothing but a blanket nearly three weeks ago.

She plonked face down on her bed and rolled over, placed an arm over her forehead and closed her eyes. It feels good to be home they say, but what about an empty home? Taeyeon contemplates, she has always liked the solace of living single-handedly but in times like this, she longs for a soft voice asking her what they’d have for dinner or to hear a voice coming from the bathroom asking for help scrubbing a back or talking about sweet nothings right in her very ear when laying in bed, because this kind of silence right now is louder than any noise she has ever heard. It’s a loud, irritating, annoying kind of silence, or could it be her conscience?

Her phone lits up indicating a message, she checks it reads that she has a couple of meetings for tomorrow, she exhales but continues to scroll down scanning for any more unread messages, there were two from Sunkyu, asking if she had gone home safe and sound, one from Hyoyeon asking if there’s any good hot springs in Jeonju, A blank message from Yuri, which she deemed was a gag joke of some sort or the girl may just have clumsy hands; three from Jessica, two of which were quotes and a text asking if she’s free to catch up and maybe get some coffee. She was hoping to find one coming from the girl that used to lie in bed beside her every evening, but found none.

Maybe Yejin’s phone was broken? Too busy filming? Family matters?

Maybe I ed up real hard this time, she thinks and swivels to the other side of the bed, reaches for the lamp switch to turn it off and get some proper sleep when her eyes fixed on a piece of paper underneath a velvety maroon box.

Her heart skipped a beat and she could feel her insides rise up to , her whole body piling up with dread. It was the kind of feeling when you know you’ve done something wrong.

She knows that box pretty well though it has been years since she bought it. She snatched the paper and scooted near the lamp, her fingers were trembling and her heart was pounding like a mad bass drum, it rings in her ears and couldn’t be silenced, no matter how hard she tries to calm herself down.

She recognizes the fine and feminine handwriting of a girl.

Unnie,

I don’t know when you’ll be able to read this but I’m writing it anyway. I’m sorry for storming out on Sunny unnie’s party, please tell her that too. I know it’s been a great 3 years of me being with you but I guess you just can’t erase old scars, it keeps coming back. I have tried my very hardest to help and teach you that there’s more to life than being miserable over someone who couldn’t reciprocate the feelings you have for them, I guess there are just things that once occupied, replacement would be impossible.

Taeyeon’s tears start to fall, she curses herself again and again, curses this messed-up situation, curses the fact that she hurts people unintentionally and wonders how long Yejin had to make this letter because from what she could see, it probably took her a day, the first half was to arrange her thoughts and words, the other half was to cry her eyes out, judging from the tear stains that have dried up on the paper itself. Taeyeon balls her fists, crumpling the sides of the paper but continues to read nonetheless.

I know and felt that you have loved me sincerely, I appreciate and am very thankful for that because I saw your effort and sincerity, so I can’t just put all the blame on you. It’s hard for me to do this because I really love you, Taeyeon, I really really love you, I am helping you heal each time you revert back to her but I’m just human too unnie, I also get scarred by the events that happen again and again and I also get tired of hoping, of waiting, of being happy and sure that’s we’re back on track then have that same hope crushed the minute you see her. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life like that, I don’t know when you’ll be able to recover but I also need to recover from you. It’s not like I gave up on you unnie, It’s just that maybe, maybe before you accept help from others, for that help to take effect, you must first help yourself.

Thanks for giving us a try.

Hoping for the best for you as always,

Kim Ye Jin

By this time Taeyeon was already sobbing as though someone had died. She didn’t need to open the box to see the ring she bought for their first year anniversary. She grabbed it and threw it against the wall, with the impact the box broke and out rolled the silver ring, circling its way on the floor before swirling to a stop.

Taeyeon, with fresh salty tears on her face, stood up and opened her wardrobe, she bawled even harder, upon realizing that Yejin’s things and clothes were indeed gone, as well as her luggage and together with a very sorry part of Taeyeon’s heart.

Staying in that place eats her up. She needs to get out; she needs a change of environment.

“Unnie, are you okay?” Seohyun asks her out of worry. “Yeah, just, thinking…” She paces. “She’s not answering” Sunkyu surmises as she concentrates on tapping a series of combinations on her phone, trying to contact Taeyeon for the millionth time.

“Maybe she’s not answering it on purpose?” Yuri assumes.

“I’ve been calling her non-stop too, for about an hour now but no answer and-- Fany, will you stay put? You’re making me dizzy” Jessica annoyingly quips.

“I can’t. Okay, I can’t ‘stay put’, It’s Taetae we’re talking about, I’m afraid of what she might do to herself.”

“Unnie’s not suicidal” Yoona joins the conversation as she makes her way from the kitchen, munching on a pocky stick. Tiffany pinches the bridge of her nose and exhales.

“I know, it’s just, I can’t you know, relax, especially now that we don’t know her whereabouts and she’s not answering any phone calls, dammit”

“Calm down, we’ll find her, have you heard from Yejin-ah?” Sooyoung says, engulfing Tiffany in a warm side-hug and asking Sunkyu afterwards, but the latter shook her head in response.

Tiffany sighs and sits weakly on a kitchen stool, wracking her brain for a possible way to locate Taeyeon. They had learned days later that Taeyeon went away to someplace without informing any of the members, her break-up with Yejin and the girl moving out were the only reasons they could think of that resulted to such behaviour.

Of course, it is mandatory that Tiffany is included in those predicaments; Tiffany will never be irrelevant to Taeyeon ever. She was very eager to see Taeyeon to tell her the good news but then the unexpected happened. Hyoyeon called her and told her what happened when she was in the middle of planning to tell Taeyeon that she’s finally going to let go and just follow her heart. She had spoken with her attorney regarding the annulment case she filed days ago. She thought she and Taeyeon could celebrate, if the girl would accept her again after all the bull Taeyeon had gone through because of her, but after knowing Taeyeon’s missing, her excitement dwindled and she was reduced to this anxious worrywart who checks her phone every 5 minutes hoping for a call or a text message at the least.

“Does her car use GPS system?” Seohyun asks all of a sudden and all heads shot up. In a blink, rushed clanking of keys being grabbed on the countertop along with Tiffany’s hurried footsteps can be heard as she dashes her way the fastest she could, ignites her car engine and speeds away at 180 kph.

“Be safe! And don’t get a ticket!” Sunkyu shouts from the window.

“ the police, go get her back!” Sooyoung dunks Sunkyu’s head playfully and throws a fist-pump in the air.

“Yah! Get off!”

“Damn it!” Taeyeon curses as she pounds on the steering wheel, accidentally resulting into a honk. Blood trickles down from her lower lips, she disregards the pulsating pain from the wound as she bites down even harder, sips the blood and spits out from the open window of her Porsche boxter.

With one hand on the steering wheel and sordid eyes, she grabs another can of beer from a now empty and crumpled paper bag resting next to her; empty cans lie on the car floor and in the backseat. Taeyeon was not one to be untidy but tonight is an exemption. She immediately takes a mouthful, as if she was drinking water. There was nothing else that could be heard save for the loud and rough roaring of her car engine and tires burning rubber at 200 kph. It was an innate habit of hers since she acquired her driving license, to go around and about, driving with no specific destination, driving alone, driving with friends, or driving with Tiffany in the middle of the night going nowhere which usually ends up in deep and heartfelt conversations sealed with hot kisses inside her car, parked at an emergency pit stop or anywhere suitable to pull over.

The thought of it makes the bile rise up and she wanted to puke so hard, but couldn’t, cause her body was multi-tasking; her brain was busy operating the wholeness of her, the road directions, the manoeuvring of the wheel, the gas, the brake, her throbbing temples, her ironically numb yet bleeding sore lips and that gnawing pain in her seemingly hollow heart.

“Leave me be! Goddamn it!” she curses out loud upon seeing her phone light up with calls and messages from people who care for her. She grabs it forcefully throws it against the car floor where the device immediately broke into pieces, the beeping stopped and the fluctuating screen lights totally gave out.

She was now driving in an isolated motorway somewhere in Eunpyeong district when she noticed a mini-cooper from behind, not matching her speed but tailing her attentively. Her fierce, red eyes couldn’t recognize if it was a sasaeng or a paparazzi or a lunatic fan, she doesn’t care really, she doesn’t care about anything at all that very moment. There was also a sudden torrential rain which made it even harder for her to see as droplets land on her view like pebbles; for a second, she was afraid it’d leave a dent on the hood or worse, break the front glass.

The wipers are going from left to right like mad, clearing the view for Taeyeon. However, the loud honking from the car behind made the thumping of her temples harder to bear.

“Come on, why aren’t you picking up?!” Tiffany shouts into her mobile though unheard by the person was trying to contact. She had activated her own GPS system which allowed her to locate Taeyeon’s whereabouts and stepped on the gas real hard the minute she found out where the other girl was. It didn’t matter if she was practically draining her gas tank or getting ticket after ticket along the way, she needs to stop Taeyeon; she just had to.

The night was dripping in pitch black and drowning in the never-ending rain, it was like driving through a tunnel leading to hell, no greeneries, no sun, no blue sky and white clouds, no nothing, just pure black and the scanty headlights from a pair of car driving as though they were being chased by the police force.

Tiffany cries over the phone, sobs even and throws it away when it stopped ringing and was replaced by information telling her that the call was unable to be transmitted to the recipient.

Was it because of the rain?

Loss of signal?

Or did Taeyeon turned it off because she doesn’t want to speak to Tiffany?

She rolls down her window and screams Taeyeon’s name, her beautiful face now splashed with rain water, her red eyes squinting against the millions of droplets landing on her face, her clothes and the inside of her car now drenched in water. Salty tears and raindrops merging into one as she honks repeatedly hoping that Taeyeon would pull over.

“Taeyeon!”

“Taeyeon-ah!”

“Kim Taeyeon!”

Her lungs were already burning so hard from her shrieks that no amount of rain water could possibly extinguish it yet the car she was following never slowed.

The relentless honking caught Taeyeon’s attention; with creasing brows and eyes narrowing she focused her sight on the car behind through her rear-view, the plate number almost made her stomp on the brake, her heart skipped a beat yet again.

What the hell is she doing here?

It triggered an ominous feeling inside, stirring her emotions and making her dizzier than she already is, light-headed even as excitement, curiosity, madness, frustration, longing and love seeped in all at once. It’s like those in the movies, the very cliché chasing game; one loves another who loves another and then for a moment, someone’s happy, someone’s not, everybody ends up with a broken heart before the wounds heal and if permitted, only then will the happy ending happen. Taeyeon retaliates by not stopping but by going farther away, her gas blinking towards empty but she doesn’t care. Unconsciously she starts to cry tears of anger and frustration, all her mixed emotions bursting from within through her hot tears.

“Arrrghhhhghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!” She screams like a madman throwing tantrums as she drives further into oblivion hearing nothing but Tiffany’s shouts, the honking of the car and her own frantic voice. A thought crossed her mind, that moment when Nichkhun was hospitalized for drunk driving, it was just a random and sudden thought but it sparked the devil on her left shoulder to think of things, horrid things.

You love her right?

Maybe if you step on the gas harder then something incredible will happen, you’ll disappear Taeyeon, no more problems, no more work, no worries about Yejin and Tiffany and the society’s expectation, none.

Wouldn’t’ that be great?

And that she did, stepped on the gas to the point of no return, car engine making an ear-splitting roar and doing what a sports car does best, burning rubber at ridiculous speed. The road is getting darker and the night is slowly becoming an adult, bigger raindrops land on her view like hailstones, the meagre light from her car could not give her a clear view amid the growing darkness. Taeyeon could feel herself losing control, her whole body is trembling, she could feel her knees quiver as though she’d ridden a rollercoaster that does multiple loops fifty feet up high, her upper torso pressed firmly in her seat as she braced herself for whatever aftermath her carelessness would result.

But in came a mini-cooper swerving its way to her, smoothly manoeuvring to catch up and does an expert overtake, tires screeching like a griffin’s roar as the driver tried to balance the loss of control and momentum from the sharp turn, black lines mark the wet pavement. Taeyeon’s eyes widen and with her all willpower, steps on the brake.

And everything stops for a quiet moment. For a moment, everything was still; pouring raindrops and the cars’ now steady revving are the only things that can be heard. Though raining, smoke and mist fill the air, the two drivers breathe heavily and somehow Taeyeon thinks that she was given a second life though she didn’t die. Taeyeon’s eyes were red and puffy as she looked into a pair of orbs that mirror her own. Taeyeon forcefully opens the car door, ready and hot for a confrontation as the other girl does the same and runs to her, like it’s the last she, Tiffany, was going to see Taeyeon.

“What the fck do you think you’re doing?!” shouted a fuming Taeyeon, chest heaving as she breathes in and out with some sort of difficulty while walking towards the running girl.

“What the hell are you doing here following me?!” “Taeyeon, please hear me out” “I’m so sick and tired of all this crap, quit it! I don’t want any of your games anymore okay?!” “Taeyeon-ah, shut up for a minute and listen to me dammit!” “No! Not another word—mmph” Tiffany’s face scrunched against Taeyeon as she went for a kiss to silence the other girl.

It was a split-second involuntary reflex as Taeyeon’s minute hands swung across the flawlessness of Tiffany’s face, probably out of exasperation and desperation, a faint reddish glow now swathe her cheeks. An open-mouthed Tiffany was frozen in place; her eyes couldn’t be any wider, she palms her slapped cheek and slowly turns to Taeyeon, her expression bordering that of the fiercest lion and the tamest doe.

Taeyeon had to stop, shocked of what she had done herself but before she could recover from the bolt from the blue, Tiffany advanced forward and while inches apart from the other, did nothing but engulf Taeyeon’s face with her hands, leaned in and kissed the life out of her yet again, out there in the pouring rain.

Tiffany vehemently tosses Taeyeon against the latter’s sports car and assaults the pair of damp lips. Tears fall as Taeyeon encircles her arms around the former’s torso; passionately reciprocates to every pull and tug of the lips. Drenched in the rain, they exchange breaths and Taeyeon prays to the heavens to not take this miracle away from her this time around.

Taeyeon’s hands managed to open the car door as she pulls Tiffany with her inside where the latter sits atop her lap and continues to hastily slip her tongue in and out of , arms resting on Taeyeon’s shoulders and fingers tangled in wet hair and in a second, their bodies are empty of any clothes.

A tongue draws a hot line from Tiffany’s chin down to , settling on the collar bone, Taeyeon nibbles as the girl atop grinds her centre against Taeyeon’s ever so slowly and agonizingly and the pleasure makes the girl’s eyes roll back to its sockets. About to wrap her petite arms around Tiffany’s waist, Taeyeon’s arms were pinned against the backseat by Tiffany’s demure yet forceful grip as her tongue claims Taeyeon’s neck and chest, Taeyeon moans, she could feel a kiss on her abdomen, her navel, Tiffany pries open her legs and loops her arms around it, Taeyeon’s mouth remains agape in astonishment. She feels another kiss on her thighs and a long, wet from her thigh to her inner thigh. She places her hand on Tiffany’s head, strands of hair now tangled in her fingers as Tiffany dives down to her most sensitive area below. It was heaven all over again.

It was the break of dawn and the road remains isolated, a light purple glow was splashed onto the sky which in a matter of minutes, mellowed down into a gentle and shady kind of white hue, comforting to the eyes.

The wheat field near a provincial road at Eunpyong sways left and right as a fresh morning breeze blows through it. The scent of a grassy morning fill the cool, lazy air as the sun prepares to shine bright behind the fluffy clouds.

The storm has passed.

Tangled pair of legs hides underneath an undersized wool blanket; bodies pressed together, chest to chest, a face nestling on of neck and plump lips on forehead. The car window was rolled down as the cool and mild early morning breeze wafts inside, giving comfort to a duo laying comfortably at the backseat.

“Are you cold?” Taeyeon mumbles through her hair. Tiffany shakes her head and rests her face deeper into Taeyeon’s neck, breathes in and exhales a happy sigh; a small smile decorates her face as she tightens her hold on the older girl’s waist. Taeyeon relishes their shared warmth as her hands create nonsensical patterns on Tiffany’s , goose bumps suddenly rising, pricking the latter’s skin and she complains but Taeyeon smiles, closes her eyes and hums a random tune as her lips found its way back to the crown of Tiffany’s head and there she places a kiss for the umpteenth time. Tiffany’s head shot up and the way she looks was breathtaking, her tousled hair cascading down like a rich, dark brown river, strands of it stand out like that of the tendrils of a plant. Her ever pointy nose resembles that of a goddess’ and her quiet eyes filled with love pierced right through Taeyeon’s soul.

Tiffany’s hand s up Taeyeon’s neck and behind her ears as she pulls herself forward to peck a pair of waiting lips.

“I love you” she mumbles. Taeyeon, with closed eyes, inhales sharply, feels a déjà vu coming as she braces herself for another ditch Tiffany’s so good at, she could see herself weeping for another month or two and her mind evaporated like ice cream on hot sun.

Tiffany’s lips move down Taeyeon’s lower lip and nibbles again and again until the kiss becomes a steamy one. It was never-ending, lips press together over and over until desire triggers something inside and the kisses quicken, tongues slip in and out, moans add fuel to the fire of desire until the kiss itself extinguishes the burning sensation and slows down into unrushed yet searing open-mouthed kisses. Taeyeon’s hands searches for the one holding her by the face, intertwines their fingers and thinks of nothing else but Tiffany, her skin, her warmth, her scent, the familiarity of her body laying on top of hers and…

And...

The absence of a wedding band on her ring finger?

The kisses halt as Taeyeon pulls back to take a second look and indeed, the ring was gone. She gives Tiffany a questioning stare which the latter only answered by a repeated phrase of ‘I love you so much and I’m sorry’ as she kisses the only pair of lips she’d ever kiss until her last breath. Taeyeon wanted to cry; and cry she did, for the last time she had heard those phrases the aftermath was miserable, but now feels entirely different, now feels the start of their promised forever.

Tiffany wipes away the freshly fallen tears on her lover’s face as they share another tender kiss.

She’s back, for good.

So there you have it folks :) I'm thinking of doing an epilogue though, watcha guys think?