*chapter thirty;

"Is this public enough for you to call this a date?"

Soah chuckled and kissed Luhan’s cheek as she sat down, with a big sundae in front of her, on the table. Luhan took her to a little ice cream parlor in a side street, not very far from school, but she never happened to come here. There weren’t many people around; it was a nice and relaxed atmosphere and the ice cream was ready five minutes after they ordered it.

“Yes, that’s a date.”

And after she tasted the first spoon of ice cream, there was no doubt that Luhan really had taken her to the best ice cream parlor in town.

“And?” He looked at her with wide eyes, anticipating her reaction, because he already knew what the answer was and when Soah smiled, he was absolutely sure that she agreed with him.

“Indeed, that’s the best ice cream I’ve ever ate.”

“Told you so!”

Soah watched him eating happily as she was drowning in her own thoughts, recalling the words she wrote Yohee weeks ago while she was feeling sad:

Sometimes I’m scared what the future will bring, because everything seems so perfect. Is there a thing as perfection in this world? Or is this just perfect before everything will be corrupted?

Back then she didn’t know that the time would come so soon. If she would have known this, she wouldn’t have treated Luhan so badly before he went to Beijing, she would have fought harder for their love, against herself and against her fears.

If she would have known that the time would run out of her hands so soon, she would have changed so many things, mainly her own behavior towards him. She wouldn’t have rejected him in the first place, she wouldn’t have been so scared of touching him, she wouldn’t have made him wait for so long.. so many things could have been changed if she had been aware that everything will be corrupted once she returned back to school. And still.. there was no time for both of them anymore. Not enough. She should have considered this and yet she still denied it the whole time. How could she be so dumb? Taehyun was capricious. There was nothing good left in him towards her.

Now, there was no way back. Her future was set, because there was no way she would give in to Taehyun. She would rather suffer silently by herself than going through the pain again and risk losing Luhan.

Lifting her head, she looked at him again, mesmerized by his doe eyes which kept on looking at her as much as they could, his cheeky lips which kissed her as often as he could, his silky blonde hair she loves to play with, his soft hands which held her own for a long time, their after school dates she enjoyed so much, the lazy sleepovers at his place, the tender hugs when he pulled her into an embrace, his laugh which lightened up her day.. soon, she would risk losing all of this and suddenly, Soah began to cry.

She put the spoon away, covered her face with her hands, lowered her head and cried silently.

She didn’t even lose him yet, but still couldn’t manage not to let the tears fall down, because just the thought of him walking out of her life made her heart, break and scream in pain.

Luhan immediately dropped his spoon, jumped up and sat down beside her, one arm around her shoulders while the other one was cupping her face and her cheek softly, wiping away the tears which didn’t seem to stop. He just sat there, holding and comforting her, not saying a word. Soah cried her eyes out and with every moment that passed, it got even worse, because it was Luhan himself who was holding her so gently and it was so beautiful that it almost took her breath away. She clenched his shirt and tried to stop herself from being like this, but she just couldn’t. The fear of losing him, especially now that he was so near, got so strong that she felt like it was cutting her lungs.

Luhan didn’t know why she was crying, but he was sure that it was not about the marks. Soah was a good student and she studied so hard. She would definitely make it to university, so there was nothing other left than just holding her in his arms until she calmed down.

Soah sobbed, trembled and whimpered quietly, sometimes gasping for air, her head resting on Luhan’s shoulder since she got so weak. He streaks of her hair out of her face and planted a few kisses on her forehead, but all of those didn’t help either. He just had to wait.

When the sun had set and the ice cream was long melted, when the streetlights went on and the last guests began to leave the parlor, Soah stopped crying. She just stayed in his arms, breathing unsteady while Luhan dried her last tear’s with a tissue. He brushed with his thumb over her swollen eyes until her breathing was regular again. Then he paid the bill, took her hand and led her out of the parlor.