<3

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Kyungoo’s POV

Back at the dormitory

Jongin seemed really distant.

And I hated it.

I hated that I couldn’t just go up to him and give him a hug. I hated that I couldn’t just go on my tippy toes and give him a peck on his lips. Stupid, stupid me. Why did I say such things? Why did I even feel irritated at that point in time? Ugh. The moment we arrived back at the dormitory, he headed straight for our bedroom after leaving me with a warning.

“Whatever you do, don’t go to their room. If you want to know how Baekhyun is doing, tell me and I’ll check on him for you.”

Even in his anger(?), he was still concerned for my well-being. Could I feel anymore guiltier? I let out a heavy sigh. Slumping down on the couch, I placed my hands on my tummy. Miracle ah, what were we going to do? Daddy is angry at me. I did something wrong. I leaned my head back and stared at the ceiling. I just sat there for half an hour brooding over what I happened when suddenly, Jongin appeared out of nowhere.

“We need to talk.”

That didn’t sound very appealing, to be honest, but I knew he was right. So I dragged my feet as I followed him back to our room. Would this turn ugly? Couldn’t we just ignore this whole issue and pretend it never happened? Behind closed doors, he patted the bed, signaling to me to sit. I did just that as he pulled a chair in front of me and sat down. Close but not touching. So near yet so far. It took all I could to refrain from reaching forward and pulling his chair closer to me. I ached to be in his arms so bad. Before he even opened his mouth to say something, I quickly blurted out.

“I am so sorry for snapping at you this morning. I really didn’t know what came over me. I blurted in out without any thought. I didn’t mean to make you sad and drive a wall between us, Jongin…”

“Kyungsoo ah. You’ll never lie to me, right?” His eyes were pleading now.

 “Never. Why would I do that?” Now, I was confused. Where was this conversation going.

“Look, I am not angry about today. Honest, I promise. I understand that your body is going through a lot of changes. And hormones. I know they can change a person’s temperament. That’s what the books said. They warn of mood swings and drastic changes to a person’s behaviour…”

“Jongin ah….” I reached out to grab his hands.

“Let me finish… so in short, I am not upset about today. But this morning’s incident triggered some negative thoughts that I couldn’t shake off. Somehow it made me realise the possibility of you not telling me your true feelings with me. Especially times when we disagree on things. Then it dawned on me. How we seldom fight. How we always appear to be on the same page. How we agree on almost everything. I started to wonder whether we were really thinking as one, or you were just giving in to me all this time. And that made me sad and it felt as if you don’t trust me enough to tell me the truth. I may be over-thinking this, I know, but I can’t help but feel a little hurt.”

“Jongin ah… I didn’t know you saw it that way. I don’t know what to say. Um… Do you remember when you broke your back? That dark scary period? To be very honest, I have held back my true thoughts before. Not often but I did occasionally. I am just scared that things may escalate to how it did back then. I couldn’t bear to go through that again. To me, fighting and arguments just create more conflict; there are more efficient ways to communicate. Love is about give and take. If being unable to say my true feelings is a sacrifice I have to make, I would gladly make it. I’ll give in to you any time of the day. I simply can’t afford to lose you, Jongin. I don’t think I can survive that.”

“You are right about fighting being useless. But we can’t always run away from the issues at hand. Just like you told me once, running away is a temporary and weak excuse for not wanting to face the issue head-on. Giving in to me is the easy way out; why does it only have to be you who have to make sacrifices? We can always talk it out, can’t we? It doesn’t have to escalate like back then when I was so stupid and blind. I just want to know what is really going through your mind. Can you see where I am coming from?”

Yes. Yes I could see.

“And no matter what you say to me, no matter what thoughts you have, I am here to stay. You don’t have to worry about that, sweetheart.. You ARE the most important person in my life; that is never going to change. Look, I don’t expect you to change immediately but just promise that you’ll try.. That’s all I need to hear.”

“Honestly speaking, I can’t guarantee you anything. But I promise to try my hardest.”

“There. Right there. You just said your true thoughts. Thank you. For listening. And for being willing to try. We’ll both try together. For you, I will stay positive and try my hardest to stop overthinking things.”

Damn, I was tearing up again. I lowered my head, hoping that he would not see my tears. But he lifted my face up gently and wiped them away with his thumbs. Slowly, he kissed me on my forehead. My right cheek. My left cheek.

And finally, my lips.

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Jongin’s POV

Dang. I made him cry again. Sighs.

Every time I saw him cry, I felt like such a failure. But then again, I guess conflicts were inevitable no matter how compatible we were together. I was glad we had this mini trash out. Hopefully this would prevent a lot of misunderstanding in the future. Holding him in my arms now, I did feel hopeful. After we officially became a couple, I never once doubted he loved me. Though I did feel sometimes that I loved him more or maybe I was just more expressive, I knew from the bottom of my heart that he loved me very much as well. No words were necessary; after all, everyone had different ways of loving their special someone. All these raw emotions reminded me about the day we became a couple, an item. The day we became one.

It was just after our debut. Like immediately after the debut showcase.

I had been nursing a crush on Kyungie since trainee days and rooming with him just made me fall deeper and deeper each day. I remembered hearing he sing the very first time. Even though he hadn’t received any training yet then, his voice was already so angelic and mesmerizing. I remembered staring at him with my jaw wide open, totally captivated by his voice. I was sure I wasn’t the only one; all the other trainees were also in awe at his voice. From that day onwards, I was always subconsciously aware of him. Of every word he said. Of every movement he made. Of his exact location at any point in time. When we were settling room arrangements, you cannot imagine how happy I was when I heard that I was assigned to share a room with him. I was simply over the moon; I literally jumped to my feet and pumped my fists in the air. The more I got to know him, the more I learnt that he was such an innocent and pure soul. And I ended up liking him more and more as the days passed. Kyungie was really nice to me but so was he with everyone else. I could never really tell if he reciprocated my feelings so I never confessed. I just did not want to ruin the comfortable relationship that we had as friends so I didn’t try.

Then came the day of our debut showcase. We were all nervous wrecks, waiting backstage. Well I was totally panicking, a little embarrassing to admit but that was the truth. I had come a long way for this day. All the sweat and blood. Finally it was time to go on stage. The whole showcase went passed in a flash. It was chaotic on and off stage that I could hardly remember specific details of what happened that day. But I remembered one thing oh so clearly.

All those girls screaming his name.

All those placards with his name on it.

Well, come to think about, those were pretty much expected for an idol member. But at that point in time, jealousy clouded my rationality.

And then I saw him blush at the attention.

Black spots danced in my eyes and I was beyond jealous. He was mine. MINE! That gave me the courage to confess and I’m glad it did.

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Kyungsoo’s POV

As I snuggled closely into his chest, I couldn’t help but think back to the day he confessed to me.

“I like you. Be mine.” He just blurted it out the moment we stepped off-stage.

“What are you talking about, Jongin?” I refused to register what he was saying and waved him off jokingly. He responded by grabbing me by the wrist and dragging me into an empty. He pushed me roughly to the wall and slammed his hand beside my head. Bending down to meet my eyes, he said in all seriousness, “I like you, Do Kyungsoo. Will you be my boyfriend?”

Shocked, I didn’t know what to say. It wasn’t that I didn’t like him. I did like him, just not that way. I never saw him more than a close friend and a brother. We had good chemistry and I had always enjoyed the times we were together but the thought of being in a relationship with him just did not occur to me. Seeing the confusion and hesitation in my eyes, he pulled back; a hint of hurt pride shone in his eyes.

“Jongin ah…”

“No. It’s ok. I understand.” He his heels and walked towards the door.

Why I did what I did, I had no idea. I reached out to grab his wrist.

“Wait. It’s not that I don’t like you. I do! Just not… not in that way…. Yet.”

He spun around and stared at me incredulously. A slight ray of hope swept across his face.

“Give me some time to adjust. Alright? I just need some time.”

Suddenly I had my breath knocked out of me. He crashed into me for tight bear hug.

“Sure, Hyung! Thank you thank you thank you!”

We became an official couple a week later.

Too fast, some might say. But one week was more than enough for me to realise that he was indeed the one. Once the thought of being in a relationship with him was planted in my head, it wasn’t hard for me to start falling in love with him. So that fateful day, I puckered up my courage and sneaked up on him. That was when I took the first step and gave him a quick peck on his lips. His eyes widened in surprise before he wrapped his arm around my head and pulled me back in for a long deep kiss.

Fireworks exploded in my mind.

He IS the one. 

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A/N: What's with the utter lack of kaisoo moments recently??!! T-T

KAMSAHAMNIDA for reading~~~ ( I'm supposed to be studying for my exams >< Oops.)