Jongin’s POV

In the dormitory

Sometimes I felt that I was the ‘male’ one in this relationship. I had always felt the need to be the protector, the pillar, the strong one for Kyungie hyung. So right now, I was so anxious and worried that I could hardly stay still. Pacing around the room, I couldn’t help but steal glances at the clock. Every. Freaking. Five. Seconds. Why was the clock moving so slowly?? How was Kyungie hyung doing right now? Was he still sick and uncomfortable as he was this morning? Was he still green in the face? Was he going to walk through the front door and beeline straight to the bathroom?

I started imagining what would happen when he walks into the house. Sure, the whole house will feel complete once again and become brighter like a ray of light had just shone into the house but that’s beside the point. In my head, I saw Kyungie hyung walk through the door. I would race to his side and look worriedly into his eyes. Scooping him up bridal style, I would carry him to the couch and sit him down gently. I would then lend him a listening ear while he vented it out on me. He would tell me all about the doctor’s appointment and his illness while I sat by his side, listening attentively. Knowing him, he might cry and thus, I would envelope him into a big hug and say things like “I understand; you know I’ll always be there for you and that we are in this together” or “I still love no matter what and that you are still perfect in my eyes”. Pulling back from the hug, I would cup his cute little face and stare into his huge wet doe-like eyes before planting a big kiss on his lips. His eyes were sure to widen in shock and then he would melt into my eyes and swoon at my manliness. After that I would carry him into our bedroom, shut the door and turn all the lights off.

To watch Pororo. Cinema style.

Now, all that needs to happen was for him to come home. Satisfied with my plan, I glance back at the clock.

WHAT?! Only FIVE minutes had passed??!!?!!

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Kyungsoo’s POV

Still in the van, on the way home

As we drove nearer and nearer to the dormitory, my heart pounded faster and faster. I leaned forward and buried my head in my hands. All this thinking was making me so depressed and demoralised. How would the other members react as well? What would Lee Soo Man Seonsaengnim say? Would I be kicked out of the group? And how would JONGIN react? Being the typical me, I started imagining all sorts of scenarios that could happen after I told Jongin the news.

Scenario 1: Jongin would be jumping for joy and showering me with hugs and kisses. Probability of this happening? Probably none. Who wanted to be a father before he turned twenty? I mean, we still watched Pororo together at night!

Scenario 2: Jongin would be utterly disgusted at me and refuse to even be near me in the future. Probability of this happening? Pretty high. Just the thought of this brought fresh hot tears to my eyes. I couldn’t bare the look of disgust, especially from him. He was my roommate, my best friend, my lover. What if he found it so repulsive that I was pregnant that he didn’t want to see me ever again? Stop there. Jongin wasn’t that kind of guy who would turn his back so easily on his friend. Right?

Scenario 3: Jongin wanted me to get an abortion and we would end up fighting over this issue over and over again. Well, this was pretty likely too. Although I would like to believe that Jongin would treasure a life just as I did, it was still a possibility.

I guess ultimately I was most worried about one thing.

Would he still like me?

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Jongin’s POV

In the dormitory

It’s been an hour since I spoke to Manager Hyung and they are still not back yet?! Then I heard the door creaked open. Finally! Hyped up, I run out of the room and sped towards the door.

There he was. Standing at the door frame, removing his shoes. My heart swelled at the sight of Kyungie hyung and I couldn’t help but grin like an idiot. Wait a minute. His eyes were red from crying. Suddenly I felt so helpless for not being there at the doctors with him and concern for him grew as I raced to be by his side.

And…

I just had to skid and run my big toe into the leg of the dining table. Pain exploded in my toe as I fell to the ground into a fetal position, grasping tightly to my hurt toe. “Ow ow ow!” I whimpered as I continued to stay on the ground, willing the pain to go away.

From the side of my eye, I saw Kyungie hyung’s eyes widen in shock as he rushed to my side and helped me up. He supported me as I limped to the couch before disappearing into the storeroom to grab the first aid kit. I could just bury myself in embarrassment as he applied medication and pasted a plaster over my bleeding toenail. This wasn’t how I envisioned it. What ever happened to carrying Kyungie hyung bridal style to the couch? He had to support me to the couch instead! And manliness? What manliness? What a joke.

“Are you okay?”

Could you believe this hyung? He was the one who was sick, crying and having a rough day. And yet he was squatting down at my foot, attending to my wound and asking ME whether I was ok?

“Are YOU okay? You’ve been crying. What did the doctor say?”

At my question, he looked back down at the ground and I could see his eyes starting to water. Looking at him so vulnerable and upset really tugged my heartstrings and I quickly swapped our positions. Ignoring the pain in my foot, I lifted him to the couch and kneeled down on the floor. This made my eye level lower than his, allowing me to see his eyes even as he continued to face downwards.

“What’s the matter?”

His lips started to quiver as he continued to refuse making any eye contact with me. Before I knew it, he started bawling so hard that he was gasping for air. I quickly pulled him into a tight hug and carried him to our room before the commotion brought the other members out of their room.

“Jongin ah.”

I looked up to see Manager Hyung standing at the front door when I returned to the living room to collect Kyungie hyung’s bag from the couch.

“Be good to Kyungsoo, you understand?”

Puzzled, I nodded. As he turned to leave, I could help but wonder what he meant. Hadn’t I been good to him? However, I didn’t have much time to ponder on this before I went back to the more urgent matter who was now sitting on the bed, silently weeping.

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Kyungsoo’s POV

I couldn’t stop crying. As Jongin hovered around me unsure of what to do, I just sat on the bed crying my heart out. Eventually, he settled for wrapping his arms around me and whispering sweet nothings in my ears.

Which made me more conflicted than ever.

I couldn’t not tell him. He deserved to know and this was too big a secret to keep from him. Yet I couldn’t bring myself to tell him. I was simply too afraid of what his reaction might be. Seeing his clumsy self as he raced towards me as I entered the dorm made me feel so loved and important to him. I could see the impatience and concern written all over his face. And I simply couldn’t bear if all this just disappeared. I needed him now more than ever.

His fingers rubbed circles on my arm and his breath brushed against my face as he continued to whisper soothing words.

“Jongin..” I could barely eke out one word through my tears.

“Shhh… You don’t have to say anything until you’re ready.”

I just buried my face into his chest and cried until I had no more tears left to cry.

“Kyungsoo.” That caught my attention. Jongin only called me Kyungsoo when he was being extremely serious and focused.

“Before you say anything, let me say something first.” He broke our bodies apart and grabbed me by the shoulders. Hunching down a little, he looked straight into my eyes. “Listen to me carefully. Every word I am about to say. Up till now, I have no idea what the doctor said, what illness you have etc. But regardless of what you may have, I am here to stay. We are in this together now, as one. You have done so much for me when I was injured or sick. Now it’s my turn. I promise to be there for you, helping you as best as I can. No matter what illness you have, you are still perfect in my eyes and I still love you with all my heart. Do you understand? I love you so much, Kyungsoo, that I just hate to see you so upset.” With that, he pulled me back into a hug. With his scent and warmth surrounding me, I felt slightly more reassured and hopeful that our future may not be so bleak after all.

With more confidence now, I slipped out of his arms and stood in front of him as he sat on the bed, stunned at my sudden movement. Wiping the tears off my face, I took a deep breath and said,

“I’m pregnant.”