ambiguous adj.

having more than one meaning

 

The first time I saw you was three years ago, on this exact date.

On the twenty-fifth of April three years ago, it was raining.

You were running for cover and you slipped for a split second. You looked around to see if anyone had noticed, I guess, you had deemed not. But I did. But you couldn’t see me (although I could see every inch). You were perfect to me, in a silly way.

Perhaps it was fate. Perhaps it was not.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

benign adj.

kindness of disposition or manner

 

“You seem nervous,” that was the first thing you said to me. I had asked you on a date. I hadn’t told you what lengths I had gone to, to receive your number.

“I’m fine,” I’d replied. Maybe I’d sounded too blunt, or deceiving.

I was worried for a while until you looked straight at me and assured, “It’s okay, I am too.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

counterpart n.                   

one of two parts that fit, complete or complement each other

 

The way my tee-shirt sleeve rolls off your shoulder is very mesmerizing.

“What about this one?” You merely just said, taking a bite of your toast. Accountant needed, the offer had written out.

Too many numbers, I had told you but I didn’t mention that we’d been together for 438 days.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

definitely adv.

without question or beyond doubt

 

I hate toast.

But you like to eat it for breakfast.

So I will continue to will myself to make you toast every morning for as long as I can.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

empathy n.

understanding and entering into another’s feelings

 

“Flowers?” You sounded surprised when I arrived at the park. It was quite sunny for a fifth date. Taemin had told me his fifth dates were always the worst.

I nodded. My fingers were fidgeting and my foot was tapping the cement path. I was very nervous all of a sudden.

Maybe you were allergic?

Maybe you hated flowers?

“No one’s ever bought me flowers before.” You smiled widely and it was brighter than the purple lilacs themselves.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

fidelity n.

the quality of being faithful

 

The first time you walked out on me, you walked back to my door four days later.

“I shouldn’t have gotten angry at you. I was being unnecessary.” You were mumbling and in your hands was a bouquet of bright, purple lilacs.

“No one’s ever bought me flowers before,” I had said and we knew we were going to be okay.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

gregarious adj.

instinctively or temperamentally seeking and enjoying the company of others

 

“I’m not really a people person,” you said the third date we had known each other. Your legs were flung over mine, a bottle of wine promptly being consumed quickly.

“Unless you like to watch movies, instead of news. I can’t stand politics, really.”

“Shrek's my favorite,” I said and you laughed so hard that wine came out of your nose.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

hypnotise v.

induce hypnotise in

 

I know you don’t like that I’m messy.

I know you don’t like how much room I take up in bed.

I know you don’t like that our birthdays are one day apart.

But I know that when you curl against me, heat like a magnet and three words are rising more than ever. Your breath lingers and your skin is tempting.

“I love you,” you say.

And I already know.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

inception n.

an event that is the beginning

 

“Uh, Kyungsoo or something?” The girl stared at me bizarrely. I didn’t blame her. If I worked at a bakery I’d expect a man to buy bread instead of ask desperately about the previous customer’s name.

“He had a name tag on –Oh, Do Kyungsoo maybe? I didn’t really pay attention.”

I bought a cream bun to satisfy her.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

juxtapose v.

to place side by side

 

When you have two drinks you start to laugh a little.

When you have three drinks you start to laugh a lot.

When you have four drinks you start to become flirty. Especially when it’s just me (and sometimes I can resist. But unfortunately, sometimes I cannot).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

kinship n.

connected by blood or marriage or adoption

 

“We should get a cat,” you murmured the morning after our two month anniversary.

You sat on my lap and I pulled you further in for a tight hug. You placed a kiss on my shoulder like it was natural and I knew right then, it was alright if I asked you to move in with me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

love n.

a strong positive emotion of regard and affection

 

When I wake in the morning, the first thing you do is roll over to face me.

The second thing is when you place your hand on my chest, fingertips prodding lightly on my skin.

I do not prefer it, nor do I detest it. It is something I have grown used to, yet, I wouldn’t want it any other way.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

muse n.

the source of an artist’s inspiration

 

“No one’s ever bought me flowers before,” you said, smiling, but I still felt nervous. I chuckled and you must have noticed the uneasiness in my tone because you leaned up and kissed me. It was only briefly, but enough to drive me wild. I must have been leaning in subconsciously because when we parted, you were holding my arm tightly.

We held hands while we walked.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

nostalgic adj.

unhappy about being away and longing for familiar things or persons

 

It was when you came home from work that night, body frame hunched and moping, and I knew that something was wrong.

It took you a while, but you could talk a lot and I was always a good listener.

“They offered me a promotion.”

“That’s great.”

My grin was lost in the silence. You turned to face me and I wanted awfully to straighten out your tie and kiss your cheeks.

“Jongin, they offered me a promotion. In Seoul.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

only adv.

without any others being included or involved

 

That’s how I find myself moving with you from our small apartment in Gwangju to our slightly bigger (but still small) new apartment in Seoul.

The second morning is when you walk to my side with a piece of toast.

“What about this one?” You ask, pointing to the newspaper column. It reads accountant.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

pulchritudinous adj.

having great physical beauty

 

Sometimes when we have , I have to focus. You are a work of art that I try my best not to ruin as you mesmerize me with your color.

It gets so bright and breath-taking that I have to remind myself to breathe.

Inhale.

Exhale.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

guarrelsome adj.

given to quarrelling

 

I know what it means on particular days. I know I am not allowed to walk through your door like I usually do – or sit on your chair and watch the TV, like I usually do. I probably shouldn’t call you either. One of us is in the wrong and I shouldn’t interfere, as much as I want to.

Alas, today is one of those days.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

resolution n.

finding a solution to a problem

 

“I shouldn’t have gotten angry at you. I was being unnecessary.” You’re mumbling and in your hands is a bouquet of bright, purple lilacs.

I’m silent for longer than I prefer, but I never liked to be taken for granted.

“I’m sorry.” Your voice shakes and it’s enough for me to embrace you in a hug. I think you’re crying but you relax as soon as your head finds the curve of my shoulder – something familiar and comforting.

“No one’s ever bought me flowers before,” I had said and we knew we were going to be okay.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

simile n.

a figure of speech that expresses a resemblance between things of different kinds

 

I was a tease.

“Jongin,” you breathed out heavily.

“Kyungsoo,” I reply, blunt, grinning.

You take it into your own hands, kissing me urgently. Our limbs collide quite hardly.

I was always a tease.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

tangible adj.

perceptible by the senses especially the sense of touch

 

The days when we spend all day in bed, rolling together lazily, kisses drawing patterns and toes tickling, fingers counting freckles and time – those days are my favorite.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

unabashed adj.

not embarrassed

 

Maybe it’s alarming how used to you I have grown. The uncomfortableness has worn out; overgrown by the everlasting hours we spend together.

“You’re still together?” Some of our friends ask. Today, it’s Minho.

“It’ll be three years in a week,” You say it proudly. Minho smiles. Your words blow over my face. I hold your hand tighter.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

vulnerable adj.

capable of being wounded or hurt

 

If you ever needed proof that I love you, just think back to the time when I took you on your first aeroplane flight.

You gripped my hand so tightly that you broke my finger.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

whim n.

an odd or fanciful or capricious idea

 

“Jongin?” You call loudly from our room. Your voice sounds unstable.

When I get there, you’re holding a small box. I think you’re crying.

.

In a week it’s our third year anniversary. I guess presents just can’t wait.

I take the box from you gently, kneeling down. I’m very nervous.

I think I ask you properly. I think I black out for a moment.

When I open my eyes, you’re hugging me, fingers wounding themselves through my hair.

“Yes,” you gasp.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

x o x o

used to represent kisses and hugs

 

When you wanted, you could talk a lot, and I was always a good listener.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

yearning v.

desire strongly or persistently

 

Is it possible for home to be not a place, but a person?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

zeal n.

a feeling of strong eagerness (usually in favour of a person or cause)

 

The third thing you do is shuffle forward and press a gentle kiss to the corner of my mouth. Sometimes when I have enough energy, I will grab you around the waist tightly, pulling you on top of me. Your small shrieks make me grin – noises mesmerized and lost in kisses. On days like these, I simply can’t imagine what life would be like without you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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i wrote this last night finishing it today, so please tell me if there's any mistakes. u _ u

here's some gross fluff because angsty angst makes me sad