I am lying on my bed and staring blankly at my ceiling.  I can't remember how long I've been crying but my tearducts seems to have dried down.  Am I destined to always be cheated on, betrayed and be left behind by the men I love? Am I cursed to feel this unbearable pain not once, twice but thrice in a row? Life....how can you be so unfair to me? All I did was to love unconditionally yet this is what they have given me. Is my love not enough for them to stay. Am I not worth loving? Negative thoughts can't stop running on my mind. Just like a movie, my past which I tried so hard to forget keep flashing on my mind.

"Dara-yah, he left us..your Appa left us." my Omma told me as soon as I arrived from my taping. 

I stared at my Omma, disbelief written all over my face. It took me a minute to finally comprehend what Omma told me.

"Omma" I hug her tight as tears started falling from both of our eyes. 

"He left us and went to his other woman. He left us and took away all your savings Dara. I'm really sorry, Omma is sorry'..she whispered to me.

"Omma..it's okay Omma.please be strong for me, for my dongsaengs, for us neh Omma. Its just money, I will work harder for us Omma. We still have each other right? We can make it even without Appa." I look at my Omma as I tried to wipe away her tears. I have to be strong for them now. Being the eldest in the family, they are now my responsibility. I have no right to be weak, I have to be strong for them.

Days passed and our home has never been the same again. My Mom is trying her best to show us that she's trying to move on, but I know she is really breaking inside. My siblings even though they are still so young were not spared from the harsh effects of having a broken family. One night I saw my Omma sitting in our living room and I noticed that she is silently crying. It pains me to see my Omma crying like that. How could my Appa do this to her? How could he be so heartless? 

"Omma" I called her while slowly walking towards her. I immediately hug her once I sit next to her. "Just let it all out Omma, your Baby will always be here for you neh. " I hold my Omma's hand as we look into each others eyes. Pain, confussion, uncertainty, fear...these are just some of the emotions that can be seen in my Omma's eyes. "We'll get through this Omma, we'll get through this." I chanted to my Omma. After a while Durami and Sanghyun joined us in our couch. We just stayed there, holding each others hand, whispering words of encouragement and finding strength in each other.

Unknown to them, my Appa's betrayal has left such a great impact on me. There were moments when I just want to let out all this frustrations but I don't want to add to my family's burden anymore so I decided to just find comfort from my boyfriend Joseph. But I never imagined that I will again experience betrayal and pain for the second time around. Least of all from one of the person that I have learned to trust and consider as my first love.

One day, I decided to visit my favorite restaurant to endulge myself in a sumptous meal. I just want to unwind and hopefully relieve myself from all the negativities. I was just sitting in one of the restaurant's secluded table when I saw a very familar person enter the place. He was with a girl and from the looks of it they seem to be very sweet towards each other. Yes- you got it right. I saw Joseph holding hands with a girl few tables away from mine. Instinct told me that he was definitely cheating on me. I really wanted to go over them but the rational part of my brain told me to calm down first.

So,I dialed my boyfriend's number and waited for him to pick up- one, two, three rings and "Hi Sandy, are you okay? Seph greeted me on his mobile. I saw him excused his self from the girl and went to the other side of the place.

"Seph where are you, can we meet up today? I answered.

"Sandy, sorry but I am kinda busy right now. We are still taping and it may take until the next day before our shoot packs up.

"Uhm really? It's okay I'll just drop by your set." from my view, I saw him fidget and start to panic a little bit.

"Sandy, there's no need for you to do that. Just take a rest okay, I don't want you to get tired, please Sandy. You know I love you right? I am working hard for our future Sandy, so just relax there will you?"...what a big fat liar my boyfriend is. I'm really wondering why he haven't receive any acting awards yet.

"Wow Seph, you are so sweet, what will my life be if you were not my boyfriend? You're the best Seph, okay so I'll hang up now, please do well....bye...I decided to play along with him. After that he went back to their table and give the girl a quick peck on the lips. Tch, so much for working hard for our future.. So with all the courage I have, I decided to show myself to them.

"Oh Hi Seph! I kiss him on the cheeck even though in my mind all I want to give him right now is a slap. His face became so pale like his face has run out of blood, like really. If I haven't been hurting from this betrayal I would have laugh at him.

"Hey aren't you going to introduce me to this beautiful lady? I told him as I eye the girl beside her who seems to be so clueless with what is happening right now. 

"Hmmm...Sandy..please,,hmmmm... my good for nothing boyfriend or shall I say soon to be ex-boyfriend mumbled weakly.

"Hey nevermind let me introduce myself. Hi I'm Sandara Park, his girlfriend but now ex-girlfriend." I told the girl who is staring wide eyed at me and Joseph. I turn to Joseph and give him a weak smile. Disappointment was written all over my face. "Tsk tsk tsk, what a freaking liar you are Seph, how could you do this to me? I asked him weakly. This is goodbye Seph, please just...just stay away from me from now on. " I turned around and decided to leave with tears clouding my vision.

I was awakened from my reminiscing when I felt tears rolling in my cheeks again. And history is repeating itself again. How come I never learned from my previous experiences?

How can fate be so cruel to me. How can this happen to me again? Why ...what authority do they have to inflict such pain to me...Why...why must it always have to be me? Will I ever move on from this? Tell me how to move on from this?