Anxieties Part I

The Marriage Life of Mr. Byun
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ANXIETIES PART I

 

“Sweetheart…” A gentle kiss to your ear stirs you awake from your deep slumber. “Hey, wake up. It’s morning.”

 

You grunt softly and press your face deeper into the pillow, not wanting to see the morning sun just yet. “Five more minutes,” you murmur and you hear your husband chuckles a little.

 

“But I’ve made you breakfast,” Baekhyun says, now pressing soft kisses to your bare shoulder. It tickles and you move in your sleep, groaning at the back of your throat. “Sweetheart, come on.” His lips trail upward, grazing the sensitive skin of your neck and creating goosebumps along your arms. “You need to eat it before it gets cold.”

 

Ugh, God…” you grumble, your head feels slightly dizzy from being asleep for too long but still not wanting to get up. “You need to shut up.”

 

“Ouch,” Baekhyun says, smiling as he backs away from you. “I hope that’s the pregnancy talking.”

 

You sigh and finally sit up, rubbing your eyes away from sleep. Baekhyun’s oversized black V-neck sweater hangs low on your shoulder, showing more skin to his delight but your husband gently fixes it up for you. Your hair is a mess, horribly tousled and sticking to every direction while Baekhyun, on the other hand, is already looking fresh and handsome with his black hair still damp from the morning bath.

 

“You’ve showered…” you say, squinting your eyes as the sunrays flows through the window. Baekhyun smiles back, dressed casually in a white button-up shirt and a pair of dark jeans. The plain shirt he’s wearing isn’t loose or two size bigger than he usually wears around the house. This one fits more to his body without sticking too tightly to his skin, with sleeves being rolled up high enough to make the (incredibly y) veins along his wrist look more prominent. He still has his towel hung around his shoulders and his nose is slightly red from the cold. “You look good,” you comment, taking every bit of his appearance to your mind. “What time is it?”

 

“A little bit past eight,” Baekhyun answers, smoothening the wild hair around your forehead with his lean fingers. “You’ve been asleep for, like, ten hours. Are you okay?”

 

“I’m tired,” you say, yawning in the way that’s so unlady-like but your husband keeps gazing at you with adoration in his eyes. This has already happened a lot but he never fails to make you fall in love with him even more. That’s probably the greatest thing about being married. You get to wake up in the same bed and fall in love with your soulmate over and over again, without limit.

 

“Well, maybe you’re just hungry.” When Baekhyun’s about to stand up from bed to get your breakfast, you grab him by the hand and yank him hard enough to make him fall on top of you.

 

“Jesus, woman,” he says, rolling to his back and laughing softly when you circle your arm around his waist.

 

“I’m hungry for your love. Love me,” you say like a spoiled brat before you snuggle under the duvet with your husband. You kiss his cheek once before you proceed to closing your eyes and laying your head above his heart. Baekhyun looks at you fondly as he offers one arm as a pillow, which you gladly take without hesitation.

 

“You can’t just eat your breakfast first and then go back to sleep?” he asks, trying to sound annoyed but you know he’s actually pleased. Baekhyun was the inventor of your ‘Cuddling Time’ after all.

 

“No,” you murmur to his chest, smiling sleepily. “You look all fluffy and pretty, and that makes me want to cuddle with you.”

 

Baekhyun rolls his eyes but he has his fingers slipped around the strands of your hair, stroking them tenderly.

 

“You smell nice,” you comment, curling up against him even further. He’s so warm, like your own favorite quilt and you can’t get enough of it. Of him. “New perfume?”

 

Baekhyun chuckles softly. “I’m actually not wearing any.”

 

“Well, , now I’m .”

 

Baekhyun’s laughter can be heard from the back of his throat. “Well, I’ll take that as a compliment, but you, my dear wifey. You stink.”

 

You pinch him around the side of his abdomen and he almost jolts off the bed. “I’m carrying your baby, Baek, and me carrying your baby means you’re my slave in return. Be nice to me.”

 

Baekhyun tickles your stomach in respond and it soon turns into the two of you playing rough footsies on the bed. It doesn’t last long though, because Baekhyun’s still unsatisfied with his Cuddling Time and so he pulls you into his arms again. He lets you listen to his heartbeat as he kisses your hair. “Did you get a good sleep?” he asks.

 

You open your eyes slowly upon that question, thinking. “No…” You mumble, eyes curving down with sadness and fatigue. “I didn’t. I actually haven’t had one in a while.”

 

Baekhyun stops carding his fingers through your hair for a moment before he speaks up. “What’s wrong?”

 

“I’ve been having these… dreams,” you answer, feeling uneasiness start to bubble inside your chest. “They’re like nightmares but… I don’t know, they feel so real and the worst part is, they can actually happen in real life and...” Your words hang in the air, as you begin to lose yourself in your own thoughts.

 

“What is it?” Baekhyun asks, his voice tinted with concern. You look up the moment he gazes down at your face.

 

“Baekhyun, I’m scared,” you confess, finally telling him what’s bothering you since last month. “About this. About us—no, about me having a baby.”

 

Your husband raises an eyebrow and shifts his weight so he can lie down on his side and stare at you better. “Scared?” he asks with a deep frown.

 

You nod, biting your lip. “I’m…” You sigh, pressing your temple to his chest and closing your eyes. “I’ve always said that I’m ready to have a child and when you used to be so scared, I was the one who kept our decision strong but... I don’t know if this is like some kind of stress I’ve been having or something more, but I keep getting this bad feeling… Like, I’m going to screw up badly in the future, you know?”

 

“Hey,” Baekhyun intervenes your words by cupping your chin and tilting your head upward to meet his stare. His eyes are loving and gentle, but at the same time, contain so much sincerity and promises behind them. “You will be fine. You’ll be okay—we’ll be okay.”

 

You smile and let him lay a soft kiss on your lips, but the anxiety won’t go away just like that. “I’ve dreamt about our kid getting hurt,” you say, eyes searching his for comfort you desperately need. “Every night, I dream about how I fail as a mother. I’ve dreamt about our child getting sick and I couldn’t take care of them. One time, I even dreamed about them getting kidnapped and I… I couldn’t save them. What if I lose them, Baekhyun? Accidents can happen—and there’s a chance where—”

 

Breathe,” Baekhyun says, stroking your cheek and that’s when you realize you’re having a panic minor attack. “Calm down, they’re just dreams. They won’t happen.”

 

You’re drowning in his gaze, calming and soothing and before you know it, another sense of bliss have come to wash away your fears. Not entirely, but it’s enough to keep your chest away from heaving up and down in panic. You take a deep breath before you exhale, and you repeat the motions a couple of times until Baekhyun nods and asks, “Better?”

 

“I can’t believe I was just a moment away from having a panic attack,” you say, almost laughing in embarrassment. “Am I being silly?”

 

“You’re being over worried and thoughtful,” he says, pressing a kiss to your temple. “Just like all mothers do, which is why, you’ll be just fine, Sweetheart.”

 

You laugh softly under the warmth of his lips. “Thank you,” you reply. “Man, I’m the luckiest girl on earth. I’m not married to a five year old anymore.”

 

“And you just ruined the moment,” Baekhyun says, scooting away from you as you begin to laugh a bit louder this time. Swatting your hand away from his, he stands up and retrieves a small tray, which carries a big glass of fresh white milk, and a plate filled with pancakes, eggs, broccoli, and bacon strips. “Here.” He hands you the tray. “Don’t blame me if they’re all cold. It’s your fault for starting Happy-Happy Baekhyun Counseling Day at eight in the morning.”

 

“You made me breakfast in bed?” you ask, looking genuinely surprised even though your eyes are still a bit half-lidded with a trace of drowsiness behind them. “And it isn’t burnt egg too! I am shocked!”

 

Baekhyun would usually scoff or make a snarky comeback at that kind of line but today, he just smiles and places the tray down to your lap. “Careful,” he says. “Oh and I also made some soup if you want. It’s in the fridge; you can heat it up later.”

 

You blink twice. “Is this real life or am I still dreaming?”

 

Baekhyun only sends you an amused look and pats your head before he stands up and dries his dark hair with his towel. His dark jeans hang low on his waist and from where you’re sitting, you can see how broad his shoulders are underneath that thin layer of shirt and how his biceps flex as he moves his arms to dry his hair.

 

“No, this is definitely real life,” you comment, a bit dazed. “My husband never looks this y in my dream.”

 

“You sound like you’re drunk,” Baekhyun says, sounding amused. “Stop harassing me. I’m only wearing this because I don’t want to be mocked again. The last time I wore my shirt with that fantastic haiku written on top of it—”

 

“That haiku was dumb.”

 

“That haiku was brilliant and funny and I’m sorry you couldn’t appreciate it,” he spits back while you roll your eyes. “Anyway, I’m wearing this so that old hag won’t bother me anymore so stop ogling me with your dirty look. You make me feel like a thirteen year-old .”

 

“By ‘old hag’ do you mean Mrs. Song?” you ask, sipping your white milk. “Oh right, it’s visiting day again, huh? I need to get ready or else Kyungsoo will start nagging on me again.” Then it hits you. “Wait, you’re already dressed up in a y white shirt—”

 

Baekhyun laughs but he pretends to be annoyed. “I said, stop harassing me!”

 

“—at eight in the freaking morning just because we’re about to visit the nursing home?” You press your fingers against your mouth, covering your smile. “Well, well, well. My prince is now doing charity work out of his own conscience. I’m so wet for you, Mr. Byun.”

 

“You’re gross!” Baekhyun sputters, his ears turning red. “Shut up and go eat your breakfast.”

 

“Yes, sir~” you reply, teasing him with a naughty grin. “So, anyway, Chanyeol’s going with us too, right?”

 

“Of course he is,” Baekhyun responds, throwing his towel back to the rack before he sits in front of you again. You try not to follow the small drop of water that trails down from the side of his neck to his collarbone. “He’s the main reason why we’re all going back there again, right?”

 

“Hmm.” You begin to munch your broccoli and you make a face when the bitter taste hit your tongue. “You’re sure it’s not because of Yoonchan, though?”

 

“Nope,” Baekhyun says, and when he sees you trying to put your broccoli to the side of the plate, he scolds. “Eat your broccoli.”

 

“They’re bitter.”

 

“They’re healthy.”

 

“Why don’t we set this plate aside and let me eat you inste—”

 

Eat your broccoli.”

 

“Jesus Christ, alright, Mom.” And you shove one of those dark green broccoli into your mouth angrily. “Happy?”

 

“Immensely,” Baekhyun says, patting your cheek. “I hope Yoonchan doesn’t show up today. My hair’s gonna fall off if he keeps yanking at it like a freaking bell rope.”

 

“But I thought you guys had a perfect bonding moment after that tea party,” you reply, sporting your teasing grin. “What with you wearing that—”

 

“No, don’t say it—”

 

“—apron and Minnie mouse ribbon on your head,” you finish, intending to kid him further but Baekhyun only pinches your nose once and then nothing. He crosses his legs on the bed, and heaves a long sigh. No snarky comment comes after that.

 

“What?” you ask, when you see the concern in his eyes. “You seem to be worried about something.”

 

“It’s nothing,” he says, smiling with his lips but not with his eyes. “It’s not worth discussing over.”

 

“Honey, I’m in a fantastic mood right now,” you announce, smiling childishly at him as you take another sip of your milk. “I got woken up by a kiss from my husband who, by the way, is looking downright y with his hair wet in the morning.” You stop to wiggle your eyebrows and Baekhyun smiles bashfully, palming one hand against his face as he mumbles out “God, you’re embarrassing.” under his breath. “And he also made me breakfast in bed,” you continue, “Nothing will bring me down today so whatever it is you have in mind, you can tell me and I’m not gonna be mad at you.”

 

“It’s really nothing,” he says, leaning backward and placing an arm behind him to support his weight.

 

“Is it about the toilet seat again?” you squint your eyes suspiciously.

 

“No, I’ve—” Then he thinks again. “Well, I haven’t closed it—”

 

You slam down your fork to the tray. “Baek!”

 

“But it’s not about that!” He laughs, his nose scrunching up a little. “Yah! You said you wouldn’t be mad over anything!”

 

“Alright, fine, I forgive you,” you say, playfully glaring at him. “But this time only because you look so hot right now.”

 

“Man,” Baekhyun says, shaking his head in amusement, “I gotta get you pregnant more often. You become a lot nicer.”

 

“I know, my drive is driving me crazy these days,” you confess shamelessly, driving a spoon filled with scrambled eggs into your mouth. “I don’t know if it’s like a pregnancy thing or something but oh dear God, I have been wanting to rip those buttons off your shirt since I woke up.”

 

Baekhyun smirks and he pops open a button of his shirt, showing his collarbones that stick out like it’s ing crafted by God Himself. “Better?”

 

“I hate you,” you say, sending him a glare. “Stop toying with my feelings, you .”

 

“What?” he says back, as if he didn’t do anything. “It’s hot around here.”

 

“Yeah, whatever,” you grumble. “But seriously, though. I think I’m going crazy. I mean, like, yesterday? I saw you sitting on the couch with your feet on the table—”

 

“Running Man was on,” Baekhyun says, “You can’t tell me to keep my feet off the table when Running Man is on. We’ve made a deal on that!”

 

“Yes, and normally, that ticks me off so much that I want to blow your head off to Timbuktu,” you continue, swallowing a slice of your honey pancake. “But yesterday, I just wanted to sit on your lap and make-out with you until our lips fell off our faces.”

 

“That’s scientifically impossible.”

 

“And that’s not even the worst part,” you say, swallowing down your food. “You know how pregnant women tend to develop some food cravings, right?” Baekhyun nods and you take a breath to keep yourself composed as you speak the next words. “Well, what I crave isn’t food.”

 

Baekhyun’s eyebrows knitted questioningly until his brain connects this topic to the previous one and then, he understands. “Oh,” he says, mouth shaping an ‘o’.

 

“Yeah…” You bring your face down, staring at your plate as your cheek grow pink. “Oh.”

 

“So you’re craving for…” Baekhyun clears his throat and he sounds so smug. “?”

 

“I’m gonna throw this spoon at your face.”

 

“What—I didn’t do anything!” Then he chuckles, smirking lightly. “Not yet anyway. So this isn’t just about my white shirt. It’s about my whole y being.”

 

“Oh shut up,” you snap back. “It isn’t always , though. Sometimes, I’m just craving for… you know, you. Like, I’m craving for your presence. Or your warmth. Or your scent that lingers around whenever you hold me before bed.”

 

“That…” Baekhyun starts. “Is probably the sweetest thing someone had ever said to me.”

 

“Will you be serious for one second?” You shout and Baekhyun calms you down with a pat to the back of your hand. “Look, I know it’s weird, so I tried to look it up on the Internet. And I found out that the extreme hormonal changes women go through during pregnancy could have a powerful impact on taste and smell. So maybe, I don’t have food cravings because I don’t want something to taste but rather something to smell.

 

“Okay, now I’m lost.” Baekhyun gives up. “What are you trying to say?”

 

“Maybe I’m craving for your scent?” You ask, shrugging. “I don’t know, Baek, I’m just as lost as you are. I mean you always smell—”

 

“Perfectly Nice? Undeniably y?” Baekhyun offers. “Overly exotic?”

 

You narrow your eyes and he raises his hands in the air, surrendering. “You smell different and maybe the baby likes it.”

 

Aaw,” Baekhyun says, smiling wide and showcasing his perfect teeth. He brings his head down and whispers to your stomach, rubbing it softly. “Daddy Baekhyunnie loves you too, little one~”

 

“Back off, you’re gross,” you scold him and Baekhyun playfully pouts at you as he pulls away.

 

“So what do you wanna do about it?” Your husband asks and although that’s a serious question, you can’t help yourself but to blush. Baekhyun sees it even when you try to hide it, so he asks, “What? What is it? Why are you suddenly so shy?”

 

“I’m naturally shy.”

 

“Bull,” he retorts. “Tell me.”

 

“Fine,” you sigh in defeat. “This is extremely crazy, okay? So I’m not asking you to do it and it’s not like I want to do it but—”

 

“Cut the crap, Sweetheart.”

 

“I—I had a dream once,” you say, noticing the way you stutter at the beginning and that brings you more shame to yourself. “In that dream, we were making-out on the bed—”

 

“?” Baekhyun asks, his eyebrows are raised in curiosity.

 

“Why does it matter?”

 

“It helps me think faster.”

 

“I’m just this close to punching you into oblivion,” you say impatiently. “But to answer your question, yes, we were .”

 

Baekhyun giggles. “Oh, you’re so nasty.”

 

“But then!” You shout loudly, trying to keep him focused. “I don’t remember much about it and I don’t intend to because it’s horrifying but what I do remember is that I was asking you to let me bury my face in…” You hold your nervous breath and just swallow down your shame. “…your armpit.

 

Baekhyun freezes. The only sound that can be heard is the chirping voice of the stupid birds outside the window.

 

“My…” Baekhyun repeats slowly. “Armpit.”

 

You blush harder. “Y-yes.”

 

“You want to bury your face in my armpit.”

 

“In the dream.”

 

“Sweetheart.”

 

“It was just a dream.”

 

“It’s ing gross.”

 

“Like I said,” you say louder, “Just a dream.”

 

“Honey, I’ve been with so many women that have like so many different kinks,” Baekhyun says, taking this as a serious matter that’s need to be discussed otherwise World War III will happen. “But none of them ever asked me to do this. I’m speechless.”

 

“Baek, oh my God,” you say, hiding your face behind your palms. “This is why I didn’t want to tell you!”

 

“I don’t think I can do it,” Baekhyun says, his voice soft and filled with disappointment and guilt. “I’m so sorry for not being able to be the perfect husband you wish you had.”

 

“I WASN’T EVEN ASKING YOU TO DO IT—JESUS CHRIST!” But by the end of your screaming, you see Baekhyun holding back a childish smile and just like that, you know he was just trying to mess around with you. You quickly throw a pillow to his face. “!”

 

“What?” Baekhyun asks, laughing wholeheartedly as he takes the pillow to his lap. “Come on, Sweetheart, it was funny. You should’ve seen your face.”

 

“God, I hate you so much,” you mutter, angrily jabbing your fork to a piece of broccoli and when Baekhyun laughs again, you shove it down his throat without mercy. He almost gets choked to death but that’s okay because he deserves it. “Anyway, we’re getting off topic,” you say a few moments later. “What are you worried about? Is it about Chanyeol?”

 

Baekhyun huffs, raking his hand along the strands of his hair. “I’m always worried about him. There’s nothing new about that.”

 

You look at him sympathetically, even though it isn’t him who’s hurting. “But he’s getting better, isn’t he? I mean, we’ve been to the nursing home for like five times by now. He seems like he’s getting his joy back. Being surrounded by people who need him helps him too, right?”

 

Baekhyun only smiles sadly in return. “You know you’re lying to yourself, don’t you?”

 

And that’s true. Because Chanyeol is never happy. Not anymore. Not like how he used to.

 

“I’m… sorry,” you say, and Baekhyun stares at you for a few seconds before he places a palm on the bed and leans closer to plant a chaste kiss on your lips.

 

“Stop worrying,” he says, sporting his patient smile. “Chanyeol’s my problem. I’ll take care of him. You just worry about our baby, okay?”

 

You don’t do anything much besides staring at him because somehow, it feels like there’s something you’re missing. “Baekhyun, what’s wrong?”

 

Baekhyun takes a look at you with another worried look in his eyes until he exhales heavily and leans closer. He takes the fork and the knife from your hands and helps you out by slicing your pancake to small pieces. “I got offered to do a gig,” Baekhyun says, offering you a piece and you bend your head down a little before you take the pancake into your mouth. You don’t remember when the last time he was spoon-feeding you like this—probably that time in college when you were so sick, you couldn’t even raise your hand—but it’s cute.

 

“What kind of gig?” you ask, munching the bacon strip as Baekhyun plops a piece of pancake into his own mouth.

 

“Like a small, private concert,” he answers, not looking at you. “I mean, I’m not gonna perform or anything—I’m just gonna, you know, help out and stuff but the payment is really good. They wanted to use my songs and this could mean much more to my career—” When he speaks, you can hear the passionate tone and the enthusiasm in his voice but when he meets your eyes again, something reminds him to act the opposite of what he’s feeling and so he does. “No, you know what,” he stops abruptly, “Let’s not talk about this.”

 

“Wait, hey,” you say, placing a hand on his bigger one. “Tell me.”

 

Baekhyun gazes deep into your eyes and you notice how tired he is. His eye bags are showing slightly and his skin appears a bit paler. It’s like he hasn’t had enough sleep. You never paid that much attention before because you always thought when Baekhyun was embracing you and lulling you to sleep every night, he was resting as well. But now that you’ve taken a closer look, he seems a bit unhealthy. “Baek, are you okay?”

 

“Just a little tired,” he offers you a smile, lacing your fingers with his. “I was up thinking about it last night.”

 

“Alright, this calls for an emergency situation,” you say, putting the tray away and place it under your bed before you focus all your concentration to your husband. “I’ve been too busy dealing with my morning sickness and crazy libido that I didn’t notice my husband was being under a lot of stress. I’m all yours now. I’m sorry for not noticing it before and I’m sorry for being so inconsiderate, but I’m all yours now.”

 

Baekhyun’s eyes soften when he looks at you and he closes them when you reach up to his hair. “It’s not a mini concert—it’s… It’s a tour,” Baekhyun finally says, looking somewhat guilty and he doesn’t dare to meet your gaze. “They want me to be the music director for the summer tour and I—Oh God, Sweetheart, can you believe it?” Baekhyun holds the back of your hand and kisses your palm before he squeezes it firmly. His eyes are gleaming with passion. His expressions change gradually within seconds from conflicted to over-excited. “They want me to be the music director! This is probably the biggest step I could take in my career right now!”

 

You’re happy—you’re so happy for him because Baekhyun never looked this thrilled before. But there’s always something waiting in the other line, and judging from the tired and sleep deprived look on his face, it doesn’t seem to be a good one.

 

“But…?” you ask slowly and the fire in his eyes disappears just like that.

 

“But the tour takes place in Japan,” Baekhyun says sadly, almost to quiet to hear with your own ears. The disappointment is clear in his voice. “If I take that offer, I’m gonna have to stay there.”

 

“For how long?”

 

He hides in silence for a few seconds before finally answers, “A month… maybe even two. It still hasn’t decided yet.”

 

Your heart drops. You’ve never been away from Baekhyun before. You have a job here, so you can’t just leave Seoul and follow him around. It’s not right. And you going with him would just probably give him more worries to think about. But forcing him to stay for you here would just be selfish. This is his dream. His passion.

 

But a lot can happen in one month. A summer tour. That’s probably going to start by the end of June, which means… you’re going to be six months pregnant by then… and Baekhyun won’t be there to help in case something happens.

 

And those dreams… Those nightmares…

 

No, you say in your head, it’s okay. I can do this.

 

“A month?” You repeat, making it sound like it isn’t a big deal by covering it up with a scoff. “You’re up thinking about it all night because you’re going to be away from me just for a month? Jesus, Baek, you’re such a girl.”

 

Baekhyun frowns, but he isn’t upset. He’s surprised. “Excuse me?”

 

“Honey,” you call, placing both hands on his shoulders. “This is your dream. Stop being such a and stop worrying things. Take that job, you idiot, and you better get me a nice cozy apartment in return. Oh right, I also want a bath tub.”

 

Baekhyun becomes a bit upset at that. “You’re telling me to go? You’re pregnant! I can’t leave you!”

 

“What, just because I’m pregnant, I can’t take care of myself?”

 

“You couldn’t even hold your own hair when you threw up last night!”

 

“I can always tie my hair back before I do, you know,” you say, shrugging, “Just in case.”

 

“No,” Baekhyun firmly says, shaking his head. “There’s no way I’m gonna leave you.”

 

“But Baek—”

 

No.”

 

“Look, if it makes you feel better, I can always call Chanyeol to hang out with me here,” you offer, grinning awkwardly. “We can have, like, a sleepover party!”

 

“What?!” Baekhyun almost stands up from the bed in sudden rage. “I’m gonna be away for a month and you’re gonna invite some grown man to have a sleepover party—”

 

“But Chanyeollie’s a friend—”

 

I. Don’t. Care!”

 

Okay, wow, he’s angry. “I’m sorry, that came out wrong. I shouldn’t have said that. It was a bad idea, clearly,” you try to reason, holding out a hand in the air to calm him down. “I’m just saying even if you’re not here, there’s always someone else who could take care of me—look, if you don’t want Chanyeol, I can always call Lu Han—”

 

“THAT’S EVEN WORSE!”

 

“Okay, okay, I’m not calling anyone! Geez!” You wince, your ears ringing from how loud he just shouted. You sigh and rub your temple. This isn’t going anywhere. “Baekhyun,” you utter his name softly, offering a weak smile. “You know I don’t want to hold you back. It’s just a month. I’ll be fine.”

 

Baekhyun still has his eyebrows furrowed in anger and he brings his eyes to stare at the window, not wanting to see your face. When you try to take his hand, he harshly takes it back, away from your reach. You exhale, feeling a bit impatient, but you know that you have to be the bigger person in this.

 

“Alright, I’m sorry,” you say and when Baekhyun ignores you, you repeat your line again with more pleading in the end. “Baekhyun, please. I said I’m sorry. As your wife, I’ll respect your decision from now on. If you want to stay, then sure, stay. Stay with me, shower me with kisses every morning and be sure to hold my hair back when I throw up, just like always.”

 

Baekhyun’s pout begins to waver slightly at that last sentence but he keeps moving his eyes away from yours. You put on a playful grin and lean closer to whisper in his ear. “Baekkie~” you lure him closer. “My little white puppy, Baekhyunnie~”

 

“Go away. I’m still mad at you,” Baekhyun says, pushing you by the shoulder but without power. You grab his hand and intertwine your fingers together.

 

“Baekgu,” You call again, pecking his cheek and his scowl begins to falter as well. “Dear husband, Byun Baekhyun, your wife says she’s sorry.”

 

He sneaks a glance at you, still jutting out his lower lip. “How sorry?”

 

You dramatically beg on your knees. “So very, utterly, and terribly sorry!”

 

Baekhyun finally looks at you with a slightly amused look on his face and lets himself be pushed down to the bed before you climb onto his lap. “And what else did she say about me?” he asks, his lips curving up into a teasing grin.

 

“She said you’re looking fine as hell right now,” you say, lying yourself down on top of him, chest pressing against chest. “And that white shirt you’re wearing is illegal.”

 

Baekhyun laughs when your breath tickles his neck and you swallow the sound with your mouth pressed against his. The kiss is simple and sweet, and he tastes just like honey—probably from his homemade pancake earlier. Baekhyun caresses your skin and his hand lingers around your waist.

 

“You’re not still mad at me, are you?” you ask, pushing his bangs out of his eyes and Baekhyun’s lips turn into a thin line.

 

“Not really,” he replies. “But I’m still a bit annoyed over the fact that you could just so simply push me away just because of my job. Don’t I mean anything to you?”

 

“Is that the reason why you’re upset?” you question before you burst out laughing. “Baekhyun, oh my God, I was just trying to be considerate! Of course I don’t want you to leave. I don’t ever want you to leave. You’re everything to me.” You say the last line like you’re talking about the weather because it’s the fact and he probably knew that by know but your husband suddenly blushes and that’s when you know he’s been wanting to hear those words from you. Your smile becomes less playful and more intimate, softening even more as you speak. “Baekhyun, I love you. If I ever tell you to go chase your dream and leave me alone in here, you should know that I’m probably lying. I don’t ever want to be apart from you. I want you to carry me around in your pocket and forever be with you no matter where you go. But you know I can’t leave with you. Think about our living cost in Japan, think about my job, think about Chanyeol if he has no one to hold on to here.”

 

Baekhyun sighs, tucking a wild strand of your hair behind your ear. “You’re right.”

 

“But you know I don’t want to be selfish, Baek,” you say, stroking his cheek with your thumb. “I don’t want to stop you from reaching your dream.”

 

“You’re allowed to be selfish,” he responds. “You want to keep me for yourself, isn’t that the first reason why we’re married?”

 

You blink, realization comes hitting you like a wave. “Oh…”

 

Baekhyun sheepishly smiles back. “God, I’m married to a cheeseball,” he comments and you roll your eyes.

 

I’m married to a cheeseball,” you correct him before bending your head down to give him a kiss on the corner of his mouth. “And you’re such a drama queen. From now on, I’m playing the role of the husband here. You’re my wife. You’re my sassy and terribly corny wife who puts on his apron every morning to make his husband lousy pancakes.”

 

“Excuse you,” Baekhyun retorts, flicking your nose. “My pancakes are awesome.”

 

“No, your is awesome.” You grin jokingly. “Your pancakes are just so-so.”

 

Baekhyun just laughs at that and you want to take a photograph right there because those eye smiles are meant to be kept forever in your heart. He’s so beautiful when his face is open like this and when his smile is innocent, showing how he really feels in his heart.

 

After giving him another soft kiss to his lips, you lie down and cuddle with him on the bed. Your face is buried in the crook of his neck and Baekhyun closes his eyes as he places his chin on your head.

 

“I’m gonna get you that apartment… with the bathtub,” he says, sounding more like a murmur as he begins to drift off to his subconscious. “I’m gonna find a way… to make you happy…”

 

And when his breathing becomes even, you raise your head and kiss his eyelid. “You don’t need to. You already have,” you whisper, laying your head back to his chest and pull up the blanket to cover you both.

 

All you need to do now is give me some chance to make you happy in return.

 

***

HEELLOOOOOO

YES PEOPLE I AM ALIVE AND BREATHING I'M JUST AN FOR NOT UPDATING THIS STORY FOR SO LONG

Anyway, this chapter isn't finished yet. I was about to post the complete version of it but it's too long (yes, even LONGER than this) so I decided to split it into two parts. I will post the second part in another two weeks if I'm not busy and I don't know, I have this feeling that you won't like the next chapter very much because it contains a bit of cross-dressing and I'm not sure if everyone is into that. Don't worry though, it's not ual-related HAHAHA

anyway, I wrote this scene right here in like a few hours after I SAW BAEKHYUN PLAYING MY TURN TO CRY WEARING THAT GODDAMN SHIRT and because I couldn't contain my feels I decided to write it down. I hope you guys liked it! (that performance was pure by the way holy byun baekhyun)

Leave me some comments please, pretty please? All I ask is some feedback from you guys.

Thank you and I love you guys! Oh right, you can find me on twitter here: @mswritersays hit me up so we can spazz together hehehe~

Oh and also, this is the Haiku shirt that Baekhyun used to wear in front of Mrs. Song

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Comments

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yeolin
#1
Chapter 34: ahhh this fic is life. rereading it always lifts my mood up :))))
ShinHaRin
#2
Chapter 1: Re-reading this fanfic because I actually missed this story!! I've been away for like a year and I still long for this story. One for the books!
HappyVirus_26 #3
Chapter 34: i miss you :(
LeyaOrgana #4
Chapter 34: Please update :(
cocoabutterslug
#5
:'( Updaaate
loyal-ExosSpirit #6
Chapter 34: Author-nim, I want you to know that ever since I read this story I wasn't expected that it will have a lot of plot twist here and there. I mean like its kinda weird (in my perspective) for a girl or a guy to fall in love with someone that annoyed the hell out of him/her. But this story is just so unique like anything could happen! The chapter was so detail and I totally feel everything that the OC felt which is cool I mean like i never felt that way reading other stories tho hahahaha. You're my new fav author! The story flow were totatlly a freaking hella awesome roller coaster ride, a big fight here and there and make-up again no matter how big the problem is. There's one thing I've notice about Baekhyun here... I mean like how can you be so cool when your wife tease you about their ex(s) like its a joke? Because if I were him, i would totally sulk for who knows how long Lol. And I wanted to know more about how Yeol and Sera relationship suddenly off.. Well I know there's a part where you explained that Sera can't get pregnant and Yeol badly want a child with her but it didn't make sense much for such a small problem (well according to me it wasnt a big problem because there's more alternative way to get pregnant eh), i hope you will explain more how they end up like that. I absolutely enjoy the whole ride until this latest chapter you updated. I hope you will update more in the future, I will wait no matter how long you will take to update this! Say... Do you like print out this fic and make it a book? Because it was so awesome I even told my friends about this story! If you do make a book... I just wonder if I can buy it idk care thr price because this story is totally worth every penny. Guess I type so long hahahaha. Hope you're doing fine. :)

Thanks for making such an awesome story! I actually kinda addicted to it that I read like most of the time even during the day (because I only read ff at night before I sleep, this story is an exception). Good work!!
chogiwhyehet #7
Chapter 34: author please update, dont keep me hanging forever. I miss youuuu
cannotbeblnk1201
#8
Chapter 34: Author-nim please update ♥♥♥♥
hun_minkai #9
Chapter 34: Author nim please update soon. No hard feeling ❤️ Saranghae !