To be perfectly honest, this is not what beethoven had in mind (henceforth known as SMOrch) is the lovechild of my long-standing appreciation of classical music and my recently-discovered cravings for humor of a non-conventional (and frankly, nonsensical) sort. In fact, it may be the most pointlessly self-indulgent piece of writing I have penned to date. That said, this product may contain trace amounts of plot and large quantities of corn (and crack, but what the FDA doesn't know won't hurt them); please consume at own discretion.

To enrich the reading experience, readers are encouraged to participate in a supplementary game of find that fandom reference! (trademark not pending). The manufacturer guarantees at least one reference in every box (chapter—semantics, semantics), so be sure to collect them all!

While waiting for a new chapter, check out the SMOrch teasers for bonus material; some are hidden within teasers for added challenge. Don't you want to be the very best (that no one ever was)?

In any case, I hope this story will be as entertaining to read as it was to write. And if you do glean a laugh or two from my words, I can't say I'd be terribly opposed to having this featured as the most upvoted story of the week (hint, hint).

Modestly yours,

JB