Sehun wanted to shoot himself.

 

Or better yet, shoot this clingy, diabetes-inducing blonde that’s kind of stuck to him for the last two hours. He really wanted to listen to what Xiumin was saying, cuz . .Kris kissed Tao. .that’s like the most interesting that’s ever happened since he came to this school. But he couldn’t really pay that much attention with Luhan holding on to him like a body pillow.

 

‘Flower-Zombie Luhan’ repeatedly tugged on Sehun’s sleeve, effortlessly bugging him to the core.

 

“Hey.”

 

Sehun tried to be the bigger man and ignore Luhan’s pitiful yet comical state and just ignored him.

 

“Hey.”

 

Ignore.

 

“Heyheyheyheyhey!” Luhan chanted, all the while tugging Sehun’s shirt.

 

Igno—AW FORGET IT!

 

“What??” Sehun snapped, turning sharply towards a startled looking Luhan, who, after his initial shock began smiling like a retard.

 

“Nothing really.” Luhan said with a giggle.

 

.

 

MUST

 

RESIST

 

URGE

 

TO

 

INFLICT

 

PAIN

 

Sehun was visibly trying to calm himself by purposedly not looking at Luhan.

 

Even Luhan in his dazed state noticed this and sighed.“You must really not like me huh?”

 

“No .” Sehun deadpanned.

 

Sehun expected another fit of giggles to erupt, but was met with Luhan silently looking down. Even though his eyes were downcast, Sehun saw hurt in them. .and it kind of bothered him to the point that he felt about it a bit.

 

Maybe he should. .you know.. apologize?

 

It’s not ‘Luhan’ anyways so he doesn’t need to worry.

 

“H-hey,” Sehun started, but Luhan suddenly yawned, stretched his limbs slowly and blinked.

 

“I’m really sleepy.” Luhan stated as he rubbed his eyes with balled up fists and blinked again.

 

Sehun was. .silenced.

 

..

 

that was actually cute

 

like. .really cute.

 

 

 

Why

 

the

 

 

did he find that cute?

 

 

=0

 

 

B-but. .

 

Normal Luhan would never be able to be that cute right? S-so he shouldn’t feel weirded out that he finds flower-zombie Luhan rubbing his eyes cute right? cuz normal Luhan rubbing his eyes would NEVER be cute right? cuz he’s a whole different person right?.

 

. .RIGHT?

 

“Even if  you hate me, can I lay here?” Luhan suddenly pointed at Sehun’s lap, interrupting Sehun’s inner debate with himself.

 

H-HELL TO THE FRIGGIN NO

 

He only lets his cat Labrador do that (yes, he named his cat Labrador, got a problem with that?)

 

No matter how much he wants to degrade Luhan by equating him with a cat, he just won’t cuz. .it’s Luhan, well it’s flower-zombie Luhan, but STILL.

 

“No wa—“

 

“Thanks.” without warning, Luhan laid head on Sehun’s lap.

 

T-THIS LITTLE!

 

No matter how busy the others were bickering, they could never ignore the fact that Luhan. .just laid,. .on Sehun’s friggin’ lap.

 

“WOAAA!!” Chanyeol clapped his hands and repeatedly pointed at Sehun and Luhan like they were some kind of five headed turtle behind a steal cage in a freakshow. “Somebody, take a picture of this!”

 

A few snaps of a camera ensued immediately, courtesy of Baekhyun’s leopard print Iphone.

 

“This. .” Baekhyun looked at the picture with slight awe. “This picture is gonna get me a looooot of favors.” he chuckled darkly.

 

Chen whistled and wiggled his eyes suggestively. “Congrats Sehun.” he said sleazily. “Though that’s probably the nearest anyone will be to your crotch.”

 

Ew.

 

Xiumin punched Chen in the arm. “HEY! Don’t freaking ruin their development.” he scolded.

 

Development? What development?

 

Chen rolled his eyes. “But I thought you wouldn’t let me help.”

 

Xiumin’s eye twitched. “You still can’t help.”

 

Chen looked at Xiumin with challenge before he turned to look at Sehun.

 

“Hey Sehun, how does it feel to have Luhan’s head right on top of your – OW!”

 

“Fine you ! you can join me.”

 

“What?” Chen pretended not to hear. “You want my to join you?”

 

XIumin face-palmed. .cuz hitting Chen with his palm was getting kind of lack-luster.

 

“Huh?” the other members wondered, ignoring Chen’s very Kai-like joke. while Sehun was so embarrassed to the point of wanting to crawl inside his own pocket, and his pocket was dirty too, since he stuffs all of his candy wrappers there, so that’s saying something.

 

“Join what?” Chanyeol asked.

 

“U-uh. .” Xiumin stammered.

 

“Ah. .this thesis he’s working on.” Chen lied, suavely Xiumin might add. Well, as to be expected from someone who lies (pranks) as a hobby.

 

The members immediately lost interest at the word ‘thesis’, except of course, for Chanyeol.

 

“What kind of thesis?”

 

“Oh a boring one.” Chen waved him off.

 

“But what’s it about?” Chanyeol asked again.

 

Chen looked at Chanyeol with hard  and stern eyes. “It’s.a.boring.thesis.Chanyeol.”

 

Chanyeol shrank away. “Fine. .fine.”

 

Sehun sighs for the nth time and shoves Luhan to get him off his lap, but realized that the damn guy is already asleep!

 

Oh. .when Luhan wakes up I’ll never let him live this down. .

 

Sehun gets in another shove, to wake him up, but he’s still out cold.

 

Xiumin notices this and stops bickering with Chen.

 

“Hey, can he stay like that for awhile?”

 

Sehun scoffs at the idea.

 

“No.”

 

“Come on, he probably hasn’t had any sleep since yesterday, can you just let it go this one time?” Xiumin said with pleading eyes.

 

Actually it doesn’t really bother Sehun, because well, Luhan isn’t that heavy, but it’s heavy on his pride. How can he, Sehun, let this, Luhan, who has never failed to make him angry, sleep on his lap?

 

Sehun furrowed his brows and poked Luhan’s cheek. “Luhan, can you like, transfer on the couch or something?”

 

Xiumin sighed and sat near them. “Fine, give me him.” he said with outstretched arms.

 

Sehun didn’t move, making XIumin raise a brow. “Hey Sehun?”

 

“Um. .can’t he just sleep on the couch?” Sehun says.

 

“But that will wake him.” Xiumin reasons.

 

For some reason, Sehun didn’t like the idea of Luhan in some other guys arms. .and it momentarily freaks him out. He awkwardly coughs and lowers his head.

 

“N-nah. it’s fine.” he silently mumbles while adjusting his legs so that Luhan’s position can be more comfortable, pleasantly surprising everyone in the room.

 

Xiumin beams a smile.

 

 

These two are still far, but they’re getting there.

 

---

 

Heads means I’ll apologize to Suho today.

 

Yixing tossed the coin.

 

Heads.

 

.

 

He tossed it again.

 

Heads.

 

!

 

He makes to throw the coin again, but after getting a closer look at the coin he slaps himself. Apparently he accidentally used that double-headed quarter Chen lent to him.

 

He sighed. Stupid Chen.

 

Because, it was still heads. . .and, he promised himself. So he should just it up and be a man. .

 

Yeah. .be a man, ,right. .

 

 

. . . NOW.

 

 

Okay, legs, you can move now.

 

He gathered up the courage to stand up from his spot in the school ground. He was seated cross legged under the shade of a tree. The spot had a perfect view of that treacherous place he told the love of his university life to basically off, making him that much more miserable.

 

He sat back down again and groaned.

 

“I can’t do this.”

 

Stress has been eating him up lately. He wasn’t able to get that much sleep. YES, he, Zhang Yixing, was actually lacking sleep, that’s how serious this thing is.

 

He grabbed his bag and took out a bottle of that perfume. He thought about spritzing some on, but he couldn’t because it felt like he was cheating, he didn’t want Suho to be drawn to him because of something like this.

 

But of course, what other reasons does Suho have? because even Yixing wouldn’t date himself.

 

He’s been absolutely horrible.

 

Why can’t he just. .be honest?

 

Why can’t he just say it?

 

He rolled the small bottle between his fingers, subtly trying to give himself courage.

 

---

 

Seriously, this is as nervous as he’s ever been.

 

His heart was figuratively hammering inside his chest, threating to bounce off the back of his ribs.

 

Get a grip. Be a man.

 

He repeated in his head like a mantra, the only thing actually keeping him from running off.

                 

He looked at his watch.

 

2:28 pm.

 

.

 

Only two more minutes ‘til the end of Suho’s class. He’s memorized Suho’s schedule by heart. .yeah, because he’s creepy like that.

 

He leant his head on the wall of the outside of Suho’s room in hopes that it might calm him.

 

Get a grip. Be a man.

 

“Y-Yixing?”

 

Good thing Yixing’s voice left him, otherwise he would’ve screamed like a little girl.

 

“S-S-Suho.” he pathetically detached himself from the wall and looked at the other male.

 

Suho looked startled and looked like he wanted to say something, but just settled for, “Um. .okay bye.”

 

Suho went on walking with the rest of his classmates.

 

He was a meter away.

 

Two meters away.

 

Three

 

Four. .

 

Please Yixing. grow some balls.

 

Five. .

 

. . please

 

“WAIT!” he yelled, making Suho turn to him immediately.

 

All eyes were on him, even Suho’s teacher’s and classmates’.

 

They probably noticed that he was panting visibly hard and was looking very very pathetic.

 

“Um. .uh.” he stuttered as he realized that he hasn’t really rehearsed what he was going to say, because all his strength went to actually gathering up the courage to be here.

 

He took a huge breath of air and gulped it down again as he looked at Suho’s hand. All he focused on was that hand, and nothing else, because looking at Suho’s face would definitely make him chicken out again.

 

“H-hey! were are you taking me?” Suho said, as Yixing dragged him.

 

I don’t know.

 

He really should’ve planned this. His hands were probably clammy and slightly trembling but he can’t back out now. All that he registered was the fact that his hand, was holding Suho’s hand, and that made his thinking as to where to go even more cloudy.

 

Actually, he was looking for the nearest bathroom. Because, you know, he has a very bad sense of direction and he thinks it would be inappropriate and even more pathetic of him to ask Suho were it was.

 

After a few minutes of Yixing’s pointless and directionless dragging, Suho spoke up again when they were in a deserted hallway.

 

“Let go. .please.” he mumbled, but he didn’t really put any force behind his words, but that still made Yixing stop, hearing Suho say those words awakened something in him.

 

“No.” he said, finally looking at Suho full on. Suddenly he had all this strength, all this courage.

 

“Wh-what?”

 

“I will, never. . . let go.” he said, grip on Suho’s wrist getting tighter, like he was holding it like a lifeline

 

“Ever.” he said, pulling Suho slightly towards him.

 

Suho raised his head and looked at Yixing with slightly watery eyes, which made Yixing realize just how tight his grip was, and he immediately let go.

 

“I’m sorry.” Yixing nervously looked down.

 

After a few seconds, he took a peek at Suho’s face. Suho was definitely confused, eyes watery.

 

“I-I don’t understand you.” He was looking at Yixing like he was some kind of alien, something that he had given up on understanding a long time ago.

 

Yixing wants to be understood. He really really does. He wants to pour out everything he’s been keeping bottled up for years, which can probably flood the entire school.

 

He just. .doesn’t know how.

 

“I. .” Yixing started, but Suho cut him off.

 

“I have to get to my next class.” Suho said with a slight tremble in his voice.

 

Suho started to walk away, and Yixing just stood there like the pathetic man he was.

 

Get a grip. Be a man.

 

He grabbed something from his bag and ran towards Suho, making Suho turn around.

 

“Here!” he outstretched his hand, making sure to find courage and look Suho directly in the eyes again.

 

“Wha-“

 

“That perfume you wanted to find.” Yixing beat him to it.

 

Yixing took a breathe and lowered his hand, gulping.

 

“I. .I didn’t want you to find it because. .it was the only reason. .for you to want to get close to me.”

 

Complete and utter shock and confusion graced Suho’s features as he heard those words.

 

Yixing closed his eyes, pretending that him saying this was just a dream, where he can do anything he can’t do in the real world. “B-because why would someone as amazing and as nice as you want to be with someone like me? You’re smart, handsome, humble and probably the nicest guy on campus. .while. .I’m a sleep-addicted moron, who can’t even say how he really feels.”

 

“A-actually whenever you come near me, I get really happy.” he finally confessed, but after it was a bitter laugh. “But. .I’m such an that I don’t  even have the guts to show it.. . .because. .b-because.” Yixing gulped again.

 

“I’m scared.” he mumbled. “I’m scared of what I feel.  . and what you would f-feel if you knew how I feel and. .and.” Yixing was probably just stammering nonsense but he didn’t care. He has to say it. He just has to.

 

 “No more tricks, no more jokes, no more excuses. .I just simply. .” he looked subtly at a very lost-for-words Suho.

 

“Like you.”

 

He took a final breath.

 

He couldn’t even dare look at Suho.

 

“S-so. .” he raised the bottle again. “If. .you have this. .you won’t have to come near me again. I’m . .willing to give it you if. .if you want me to”

 

Yixing was gripping the bottle so hard like a stressball, it might’ve broke. But he didn’t care, because he was preparing himself for what Suho will do. Suho will most definitely get the perfume, say goodbye and walk awa—

 

Yixing jumped when he felt fingers just as cold and just as clammy and just as trembling as his, clasp around his hand.

 

Suho silently went closer and looked Yixing in the eyes.

 

“I. .won’t take it.”

 

He smiled, nervous yet genuine.

 

“Because I only like it on you.”

 

BOOM

 

There goes Yixing. .

 

Exploding into a pile of rainbows 

 

~0~

PARTEEEY! hahahahha i finally updated in less than a month!

its cuz. you guys, ur making me cry with absolute glee with your comments aaaand it's cuz I've been hooked on Lord of the Rings lately,aand the more I read things, the more I get inspired to write. hahahahah but my greatest inspiration is you guys. heh. am I disgusting you with my sweetness? haha

anwaaays. second semester starts tomorrow. =(( but luckily i think i wont be as busy this sem compared to the first, so maybe I'll be able to update more frequently =D

 

ALSOOOO dsjjvjadJHNKZSCGBJ its the first time I got giddy with what i was writing. cuz YEAH finallyy! SULAY in zeh HIZHOUSEE! aahhahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahahhahahahah

lol 

So anyways. Enjoy guys. and do consider subscribing commenting and upvoting! ahahahhahah.