Welcome to the Club

The Going Home Club

 

Usually, once you’re in a club, it means that you’re actually good at something, maybe at sports, arts, singing, dancing and all that . But what about those that are either painfully talentless or just painfully lazy to do something that needs effort during their spare time?

 

Well, one club is a haven for those types of people. The “Going Home Club.”

 

Sehun looked at the pamphlet that was given, or practically shoved into his hand by a hyper poodle-head, after the entrance ceremony yesterday.

 

“The Going Home Club.  Are you a talentless freak? Or are you a lazy ? Or are you both? Well, if you are, come join the Going Home Club, the magical place where you can do anything you want that doesn’t involve: setting the club’s kitchen on fire, bringing along cats,  being an or breaking expensive teaware.”

 

They have pretty specific rules as you can see.

 

The pamphlet had a fairly accurate drawing of a unicorn and some rainbows and clouds and pink flowers. Sehun flinched.

 

 It wasn’t exactly the most appealing pamphlet he’s seen, and it certainly wasn’t a normal one either. But the sound of a club that allowed you to do nothing AND a club that has a kitchen in it seemed to do the trick to bait him in.

 

And Sehun, being a perfectly talentless freshman, decides to join this club. He was a bit hesitant to open the door to the club since well, it only had a taped on sign probably torn off from an eerily girly notebook (proven by the heart shaped borders and pink glitterly lines) saying “Going Home Club”. Wth a “y” scribbled after the word home and a guy in a cap doing a gangsta pose on the side.

 

Took him a few seconds to get that lame pun.

 

He guessed why the one who drew that was in the “Going Home Club” since the drawing looked more like an alpaca than a human, and

his sense of humor was just. .

Sehun shook his head.

He opened the door, and for some reason, he had the strangest urge to turn around and run for it before anyone sees him. A great burst of noise hit him as he took in the whole scene.

 

There were only about 9 men there, but they seemed to cause complete and utter chaos. One was singing Karaoke (whoa they have a karaoke machine?),. .badly he might add, and a chubby cheeked one dancing along. The song was apparently called “Lovey Dovey” since he’s been repeating that word ever since Sehun stepped inside. His voice was ultra deep, like no , it wasn't normal especially with a derpy face like his, and practically toneless, so it made that song so much more wrong. He was also bouncing all over the place like a really hyper poodle because of his curly hair. The chubby cheeked one had his eyes closed and dancing like he was swaying to some y electro-music and not to a probable girl group song.

 

They looked drunk, they acted drunk, and Sehun hoped that they were drunk. Because if they acted like this when they were sober, he had better get out of here.

 

One particularly gloomy looking one with emo eye make-up was carefully stacking up a house of cards with the concentration of turning off a bomb while another two were cheering him on like they were cheering for a basketball match.

 

“Go Tao! Go Tao! Woot wew! You’re on fire! Fire power!” one was exclaiming while making laser sound effects, while 'shooting' though his hands.

 

“Oh come on! Stack that baby good!” another one added. He sounded like he was yelling at a wrestler to give his opponent a body throw or something.  It really didn’t suit him since well. .he looked like a baby-faced 14 year old.

 

Tao apparently wasn’t bothered though.  Like he was used to it.

Cheering for someone making a house of cards. . .

 

His vision drifted off to two people showing off their horrid drawings to one with bright red hair. The two were bickering madly, trying to explain why theirs were better.

 

“Now now Kai,.. Baekhyun, don’t worry since both your drawings are equally horrible.” The red-head said good-naturedly,

 

Oh wait..at least one person is doing something normal. He’s reading while lying on the sofa, . .no.  .wait. .it’s a manga, and he’s not reading, he’s apparently using it to cover his sleeping face, his mouth was wide open and from beneath the manga, Sehun could see a mustache that was drawn by a marker above his agape mouth. He even saw someone write “Chen wuz here” on his chin. That does it, no one seems normal, better get out.

 

Before he could turn around though, the red-head spotted him.

 

“Oh! Is this a new member we have here?” He called out.

 

..!  Retreat!

 

But before he knew it, the red head was beside him, with an arm slung on his shoulders. The weight of him making Sehun slouch slightly.

He inwardly groaned as everyone’s attention was now on them. No escape now.

 

“Welcome to the ‘Going Home club.’” He said with an air of wonder as he swept an arc across the air. “Where you can be as talentless and as lazy as you can.”

 

“You mean the Going Homey club!” The deep-voiced karaoke boy  corrected. Making a peace sign with both hands and crossing his arms,  making a ‘gangsta pose’.

 

That pun must’ve been his lame idea.

 

One who has shown his drawing earlier rolled his eyes.

 

“You’re the only one that ever calls it that Yeol.”

 

‘Yeol’ pouted and said. “Hmmph. That’s mean Baek. You thought that it was pretty cool and you even drew the man in the sign.”

Sehun looked at drawing on ‘Baek’s’ hand and remembered the drawing in the sign. That explains it.

 

Baekhyun put a hand on his hip all diva like and said. “That was when I was drunk on rootbeer, that’s why the drawing was so awful!”

How he could’ve possibly have gotten drunk on rootbeer, Sehun didn’t want to know.

 

“Sooo..  You were drunk when you drew that picture too?” the other one holding a drawing slyly added. Then doing a very disturbing hip celebrating his ‘joke’ while mouthing the word “BOOM”

Sehun just prayed that that guy had even an ounce of alcohol in him.

Baekhyun scoffed. “Very funny Kai, . .very funny.”

 

"I know right?" kai replied.

 

“Okaaayyy” Sehun started, wanting to break the news that he was going to go to another club. But then, he saw all the club’s members halt in whatever they were doing and crowding around him, well, except for the poor fellow with the marker mustache and that guy Tao who was still stacking up his house of cards, finally having a moment of peace.

 

“Um. .”

 

Just say it Sehun.

 

“It’s just that. .”

 

Say it dammiit!

 

“.. that.” He tried again, but got distracted seeing the excited look on Yeol’s face at having a new club member and the expectant look on the person beside him.

 

Say it you ball-less son of a---

 

“That I’m really happy to have joined this club”

 

SHIIIT!

 

Sehun cursed himself for being so nice.

 

All the guys cooed and hooted. He saw the almost teary look in the red-heads eyes as he tightened his hold around his shoulders.

One guy ruffled Sehun’s hair and said. “You’re a good kid, don’t worry,

I’ll change that.” He said mischievously.

 

Then the red-head smacked him on the back of his head. “Chen! Stop trying to taint young children.”

 

Sehun looked at him a bit incredulously. Children? Child? Him? Look at that guy over there that looks like a middle-schooler! Sehun didn’t want to admit it, but he was sensitive when it came to these kinds of things.

 

“Soooo anyways!” Suho immediately changed from being angry to completely beaming, he smiled a smile so bright that it almost matched his hair. “I guess we should introduce ourselves.”

The red-head straightened up and cleared his throat in a dignified manner. “Welcome to this ye ole’ guild of poor skill-less fellows, thy name is Suho,  thine guild’s humble king!” he said, in a full-blown British accent as he lightly pounded on his puffed up chest. “Thy major is phsycology.”

 

Sehun just stared. There goes his candidate for a normal person in this club.

 

Kai whispered to him. “By king, he means president.”

 

“Oh..ok.”

 

Damn,  a president calling himself king is never a good sign.

 

Kai smiled and gave a lazy salute. “Yo, the name’s Kai. I’m the club’s asst. treasurer, majoring in performing arts.”

 

Suho elbowed Kai, hard, finally letting go of Sehun.

 

“YAH! I thought I told you guys to do the british thing!”

 

“Oww” Kai whined and rolled his eyes at Suho. “Come on, the british thing scared off like,. .three people already.”

 

“Please??” Suho cooed.

 

Kai sighed and monotonously said. “Yo wazzup, THY name is Kai.”

Suho stared at him. “Just saying thy doesn’t make it sound like an old English accent.”

 

“Well, it’s the closest thing you’re gonna get from me.”

The chubby cheeked person who strangely looked like a dumpling made a cross sign with his arms while looking at Suho and said. “No more.”

Suho stomped on the ground for a bit and pouted like a child. “But. .but

it’s cool!” he defended.

 

Some of them chuckled and then Chen put a hand on Suho’s shoulder.

 

“Oh Suho, .nothing you do is cool.”

 

Suho pinked a bit as his nostrils flared. “Y-You probably just don’t want to do it cuz you at it!”

 

Jongin scoffed. “Me? The great Kim “Kai” Jongin at something?

Zat’s imposibreu’!” he said.

 

“That’s French Kai.” The baby-faced guy deadpanned.

 

Suho laughed at Kai and waved his hands dismissively. “See?”

 

The baby-faced guy looked at Suho, looking all serious. “Still, no more british thing.”

 

“Aww..you too Luhan?” Suho asked, pouting even more.

 

What a childish president.

 

“Come on, it makes things interesting.”

 

Chen chuckled. “Trust me, this club can’t get any more interesting.” Motioning towards the hyper-looking poodle haired guy.

Sehun had to agree with that one.

 

Suho crossed his arms. “Fine. “ he said with finality.

 

The poodle haired guy  held-out his hand and shook Sehun’s hand so hard he swore he could’ve heard his poor, under-excercised shoulder pop. “Hello. My name is Chanyeol! Nice to meet you. I’m a physics major, 19 years old, and am this club’s treasurer. My birthday is on November 27th. Sagittarius, Blood type A, Family consists of both parents and an older sister, my favourite number is 21, I love the movie School of Rock and I collect tin cans and..-umph!”

 

He got silenced by ‘Baek’s hands. Baekhyun smiled. “Don’t mind him, he’s weird. Anyway’s my name is Baekhyun and I’m the club’s asst. secretary. I major in architecture and minor in interior design”

Sehun nodded. Why the hell would he want to know someone’s favourite number?

 

The chubby cheeked boy waved his hand cheerfully. “Hello, my name’s Xiumin. The club’s secretary. I major in food technology.”

 

Then suddenly Chen hung an arm around Xiumin’s shoulders with all his weight put behind it, making Xiumin stumble a bit. “Just call him Baozi. Cuz he’s chubby.”

 

Sehun had to admit, that nickname was right-on.

The said Baozi glared up at Chen.”And he’s Chen, the most useless P.I.O in the world.”

 

Chen ruffled Xiumin’s hair and laughed. “EH?? Who’s useless?”

 

Xiumin flailed his arms in agitation and tried to bite Chen’s arm.  Sehun noticed that Xiumin started getting a bit pink while Chen held him.

 

Hmm. .there is something. .utterly suspicious about those two.

 

“Anyways, the name’s Chen. Remember it.” He said with a smirk.

Then the baby-faced guy waved his hand slightly. “I’m Luhan”

Sehun stared at Luhan and narrowed his eyes, on to which Luhan took notice off. “Aaaaww. .have you fallen for me on first sight?” he said amusedly.

 

Sehun shook his head and looked at the other people in the room. “Whose little brother is this?” he said jerking his thumb to Luhan and patting Luhan’s hair. “He’s a bit tall for his age eh?”

 

And then there was a sudden gasp heard in the room and it all became eerily silent. Sehun looked around confusedly, trying to figure out what’s wrong. Then he saw Xiumin shaking his head furiously while urging him to look at Luhan. He was not happy. He looked just about ready to shove Sehun up a pipe. Those really small ones too. Even Tao momentarily looked up from his house of cards to gape disbelievingly at Sehun.

 

Sehun’s eyes lowered to Luhan’s chest where a blue school pin was pinned, indicating that he was indeed a student, and a good two years older than him.

 

Sehun’s eyes widened in realization.

 

Oh and balls.

 

Sehun had a feeling, judging by Luhan’s obvious killing intent that he just hit a sensitive nerve, and that that one statement could cost him a peaceful life. Luhan came edging towards a very frightened Sehun, his glare never leaving the apparent younger’s eyes.

 

Suho let out an awkward chuckle and positioned himself between the two boys, his hands raised defensively. “Now now, boys, it was just a-“

 

“I AM NOT A BOY! I’m a freakin MAN!” Luhan roared with clenched fists. For a moment, Sehun felt that the enraged male was going to hit him, but instead Luhan closed his eyes, still looking annoyed, and willed himself out of the room with a loud bang.

 

Silence was in the room, all eyes were on Sehun.

 

“Wow, I guess I’m just awesome at first impressions.” Sehun said sarcastically, but he seemed to be still shaken up by Luhan’s sudden outburst.

 

Suddenly everybody laughed out loud, confusing the offender.

 

“WAHAHAHAHHA! I can’t believe you pissed of Luhan on your first day!” Chen said, completely cracking up.

 

“You must be one unlucky man, or a very brave soul.” Chanyeol said, giggling while flinging an arm around Sehun’s shoulders. Sehun had to put in all his strength to keep from tripping under the weight of the tall gangly poodle.

 

Xiumin patted Sehun’s head with a look of pity.

 

Sehun couldn’t help but pout. With the way everybody was comforting him like he just entered hell, he got nervous.

 

“Wh-what’s so bad about making him angry?” Sehun inquired.

Baekhyun looked at him with wide-eyes like he was scared for Sehun, and whispered. “Everything.”

 

“huh?”

 

“When you make Luhan angry, EVERYTHING’S going to get bad.”

Baekhyun said.

 

Chanyeol  immediately nodded his head in agreement. “One time, I heard that a guy who got Luhan pissed off had to surgically remove a candycane out of his throat.”

 

Suho again gave out one of his awkward laughs and said. “Now now, Sehun won’t probably end up like him. I mean, it’s not Christmas yet so candycanes are out of season.” Again trying to sound comforting, and again, saying something completely stupid.

“Suho, just shift to another course, cuz you would as a shrink.” Chen deadpanned.

 

Sehun raised his eyebrows, surely these guys were just playing with him right?

 

“Come on guys, is this like some sort of initiation prank?” Sehun said.

 

He just couldn’t believe that that middle-schooler looking junior could be dangerous. But, still, fear tinged his tone.

 

They just looked at him with pity.

 

The air was so stiflingly thick that Sehun just had to say something.

 

He shrugged awkwardly. “Uh. .I’m Sehun by the way.”

 

Oh great, awesome first day Sehun, just awesome. You managed to piss of a guy even before he knew your name.

 

Sehun realized that his normal life is endangered.

 

~*^*~

SOOOOOOO. .yeah! first chap's out. hahahhha. lol, okay, idk if its fail or not, but I had fun writing it. Like all those random crap in my head just flowed out. Hope u guys like it though. =)))

please do comment and subscribe. heehee

 

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Comments

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ValeGeng2422 #1
Chapter 29: Espero regreses
_whateves_
#2
Chapter 11: i feel bad for minseok
he keeps being called fat
_whateves_
#3
Chapter 4: “hate at first sight” faults in byun baekhyun vibes
GD_MyBoiii #4
Chapter 3: Omg this chapter is funny as heck!!! I can't stop laughing when Suho told Chen he was his father! I'm dying of laughter
Lyn_95 #5
Chapter 29: Dang i dont know if you will ever come back to this, HunHan is legit precious but its been so long...
chankles
#6
Chapter 28: Really hope you update soon! I need a continuation of kaisoo...
Taenika #7
Plz....just finish the story....I can't just describe in words that how much I wish to read this story furthermore.....just plz get hunhan vibes...I know it's lot a late but I want the best fanfic ever in the world to get at least finished...plz authornim plz plz plz finish it...um crying over here
HildaZ
#8
aaaaa i come back to this fic every once in a while,, this was my first EVER. kpop fanfiction and its what probably got me hooked haha. its so good, i miss it alot and i hope you'll update one day <3
chanyeoluk #9
I usually don't read uncompleted stories, mainly just because I hate waiting for chapters. But I'm going to give this ago. Please keep updating Author nim ❤