“I lost my mind…”

Kai thought of nothing as his body moved to the ever-familiar songs. Sure, he wasn’t supposed to practice during this break, but he was way too bored. He figured as long as he didn’t go all out, he’d be alright. Besides, he was starting to feel better already.

If they can’t see it, it’s not illegal, he told himself.

He broke in the middle of the song to rehydrate. He fell onto his couch, sipping slowly from the glass he held. The music continued softly, and Kai found himself thinking of the ghost again.

While it hadn’t made another appearance in his apartment, it continued to creep in his dreams, always in the dark room, always too far to see and recognize a face. It stuck close by but never moved. In his dreams, Kai sometimes called out to the ghost; telling it to come closer, asking its name, asking how and why. It never answered; it just continued to sit at the edge of the bed, watching Kai.

He heaved a great sigh and threw his head back. The CD had made its round, and the apartment was left in silence. He didn’t have the energy to get up and start up his iPod again, so he swung his legs up and his body around to lay on the sofa, head on one armrest and ankles on the other. Luckily, the TV remote was on the floor within reach. He swiped up the remote and started flipping through channels.

Oh. There’s JoonMyun-hyung.

Kai watched lazily as the antics unfolded on the variety show. There was a lot of boisterous laughter and raised voices, a lot of scripted nonsense and overdone reactions. The empty feeling gnawed at his chest again, watching with envy as his hyungs played about on the screen. He switched the channel to something more mundane: the news. He watched as the anchorwoman rambled on about politics and whatnot, and before he even realized he was drifting off, he was in the dark room once again.

One thing he wouldn’t miss about the dark-room flashbacks: the immobility. He hated only being able to look from one corner of the room to the other, especially when the ghost was always teasingly out of his reach.

“Come here…”

Kai’s unspoken words reverberated through his body, and for a second, something changed. He felt something wisp by, a very fleeting warmth that played on his face. In that moment, he thought he was still in the dark room, but then he opened his eyes and found himself back in his living room. He must have still been dreaming because his mind was still hazy, the edges of his apartment unfocused and indefinite.

He must have definitely been dreaming because the ghost was back in his apartment, standing directly over him.

It was still baffling, being unable to focus on the ghost’s face even though the ghost was probably less than an arm’s length away. There wasn’t anything wrong with his vision, as far as he knew.

Upon being spotted, the ghost started to slide out of his vision, but Kai knew better than to let this opportunity go by – dream or not. He threw himself up and off the couch in order to not lose sight of the dark blur. It didn’t matter, though, since the ghost hadn’t moved far; it stood maybe a stride away, still silent and watching. For a while, Kai stood across from the ghost and just beheld it there, making sure it didn’t disappear.

The muffled silence was back, but in that silence, Kai’s music was playing again. Had the ghost possessed his iPod and turned it on? Hearing the songs, his muscles automatically wanted to move.  So, what, he was going to dance for a ghost? That’s just outright insane.

I’m already insane just for seeing this ghost. Why not?

Just as Kai began to move to the music, the ghost moved as well, mirroring and shadowing his every step. Kai was a little surprised by that. He never really choreographed anything or made a routine of a song; he just moved how he wanted. And still the ghost did everything as he did with all of the same energy and emotions. Surely the ghost was Kai, belonged to Kai.

But as a song began to wrap up, Kai found himself closing the distance between himself and the dark blur one step, one beat, at a time. It was still copying his movements, therefore, stepping closer and closer to Kai. It was when they were a mere breath from each other when Kai’s eyes shifted, focused, and the first thing he saw were the ghost’s eyes.

A jolt of terror shot through his heart. He reeled backwards as gravity shifted underneath him. The bright, warm apartment fell away. He landed again in the bed of the dark room, smothered by heavy blankets with a body like fragile ice. However, he was very aware of someone lying next to him, warm arms tightly wound around Kai’s frigid body. Kai still could move nothing but his eyes, so he raised his view to see the one responsible.

The ghost.

In perfect clarity.

Was not Kai.