The Name That I Loved

After the disaster of a practice, all the members had retired for the night. They could have gone straight back to the dorm, but Onew thought it would be best to rest a little before the long drive.  Now, while everyone else was tucked in for the night inside their bedrooms, the eldest member of the house roamed the halls in unrest. He walked into a random study and scanned the room. It was dark, but moonlight beamed through the large round topped windows. Occasionally, gray clouds floated by to obscure the light and mold shadows inside the room.

The guy positioned himself in front of the window and stared out at the various shades of dark that made up the landscape. He looked down at his Ipod and switched the song. After a minute of listening to it, he switched to another song. He almost skipped it again, "it" being his own song. Honestly, sometimes he just wanted to take a break from all things related to SHINee.

This time though, he hesitated. He easily recognized the beginning piano sequence. It was a nice slow song, but it was only the instrumental so it didn’t interrupt his thoughts. Instead, it only enriched them. The track almost reached its end before the batteries of his mp3 player gave out.

For a few silent seconds, he just stood there, staring at the cloudy sky. Then, he began to sing the lyrics to the instrumental that he had just listened to.

“My hands became cold as the memories of love coldly drew near.”

If someone had watched Onew, they’d actually see the slight shivers in his fingers.

“No matter how close we are,” ‘Were we ever close…,’ he dully thought. “I know that I can’t love you anymore.”

He stuffed his hands into his pockets.

“I can’t miss you,” ‘I shouldn’t miss you.’
“Waiting for you, makes me tired.
I can’t endure anymore and I can’t realize this.” ‘I want to keep enduring…hoping…’

Alone, he sang the part that was meant to be a duet.

“The name I loved once in this life has become further and further away.
I am writing your name on a paper and forever keeping it in my heart.
From that day on, I realized that I will only love you forever.”

Before Onew could finish the last line of the verse, he heard a sad, sweet,

“Love that can’t be together can also be known as love,” from the door.

The leader turned around, surprised to find Jonghyun in the doorway. The blonde male walked over to the lightly dusted grand piano in the corner of the room and seated himself silently. For a few extended seconds, the two just sat without sound before Jonghyun took his fingers to the keys.

Onew continued, Jonghyun not knowing all the words well enough.
“I can’t handle the memories of love and feelings alone.
I can’t start this. I can only miss you secretly in my heart.
My heart only left your body fragrance that I missed and always loved.”

Again, Onew sang the duet alone.
“The name I loved once in this life has become further and further away.
I am writing your name on a paper and forever keeping it in my heart.
From that day on, I realized that I will only love you forever.
Love that can’t be together can also be known as love.”

Jonghyun whispered,
“Thousands of times remembering the first time our eyes met…”

And Onew belted out with sad eyes towards the sky,
“And stolen an edge of my heart without noticing.”

Together, the two vocalists sang,
“The name I loved once in this life has become further and further away” ‘Come back to us.’ ‘Please, don’t leave.’
“I am writing your name on a paper and forever keeping it in my heart.” ‘No matter what, I won’t…can’t forget you.’ ‘You’ve burned a place in my heart.’
“From that day on, I realized that I will only love you forever.” ‘I can’t see it any other way’
“Love that can’t be together can also be known as Love.” ‘Can’t be together…’ ‘But…I really wish we could be together.’

“Jonghyun…”

“Yeah?” The younger man said as he stared down at the ivory keys.

“I don’t think I can sing this song without crying and the support of you guys,” admitted Onew.

“Then don’t sing it until you’re ready.”

His hyung nodded.

“So…not to sound lame or anything but…,” Jonghyun didn’t look at the leader, “Are we going to…is this going to be a love that can’t be together?” ‘Are we giving up?’

“This might just end up being that kind of love.”

“Damn…I wish you told me that I could continue acting blind and stupidly hoping.”

The blonde stood up and walked over to the man by the window. Swinging an arm over his shoulder, the younger man said, “Come on. Let’s get some sleep. We have to leave in a few hours.”

Jinki paused after shutting the door to the room.

“What’s the matter?” Jonghyun asked the immobile man.

Onew relaxed his form and shook his head. “Nothing.” Jinki reached his room first. “Jonghyun-ah.”

The other man paused in his walking.

The leader advised, “It might end up being that kind of love, but don’t give up hoping yet. Just tone down on the blind and stupid part.”

Jonghyun smiled without any relief or happiness behind it. “Right. Got to keep cool and logical. Good night hyung.”

-------
Back in her room, the girl felt her eyes wet but she quickly rubbed them away before they fell. Some time while they were singing, she had come to stand next to the door, leaning her back against to wall to just listen. Those two, they had voices that could draw any girl in, especially when they sang softer songs. Perhaps they were too immersed into the song to sense her presence, but the lyrics and their voices equally gripped her attention. It was just so…heartfelt.

A few tears did slip her eyes to stain the floor but she quickly wiped at them too. She didn’t understand herself. Tears in that house were those of fear, pain, loneliness, and desperation. But these tears, she couldn’t identify what category they belonged in. There was an emotion there that she couldn’t recognize anymore. It was in the music. The emotion was in the music and, somehow, it had entered her body.

She stuck her earphones into her ears and pressed play to get the emotion out of her. The mp3 player started where she left off. “JoJo” had just ended and shuffle picked “The Name That I Loved” next.

__________

THEA's Corner <3

So the semester is almost over! Time sure flies! TTTT! I have so much work to do. I'm actually supposed to be doing a reserach paper right now. Why is it that I usually write and post chapters when I have big projects due?! Horrible example of a good student! So after this semester I'll be traveling a bit and then going back to the U.S. to do a bit of work before getting back to school. Ugh. A viscious cycle.

So hmm....thanks for the comments! I especially like the long ones ;) Thank you to my new readers that find this story this late in the game. Better late than never. Tell all your friends! It makes me happy ^^

Posted: 13 December 2011

 

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Bunnyfox #1
Chapter 65: Aaah, I really like this story! I know it's been May since you last updated this but I really hope you keep it up, and this is actually the first Shinee fanfiction I've written - which is really good. Keep up the good work!
Sakura_24 #2
Chapter 36: Lol! The last sentence! Hahahahah!!!
Sakura_24 #3
Chapter 65: Please update it needs so long AND I NEED ANOTHER AMAZING chapter !! /)(>.<)(\***
LongHairedRyuu #4
Chapter 59: I never expected for Jongin to show up lmao, that was quite surprising! I like it though and you wrote him pretty acurate based on how other fanfics always describe him. But oh my lord when Taemin explained the whole situation, I laughed for 7 minutes straight because I can totally imagine him saying that.
ILuvkpop1 #5
Chapter 65: This is officially my favorite story ever!!! Please more! This is Amazing
fyekay918 #6
Chapter 65: Wow this story is wicked! I love the plot. I love the entire plot, the little fillers you add in. I love how you portrayed Onew's character coz i cant in hell imagine him royalty and evil although ypu still did ads in his awkwardness. Awesome writing!
chrst25 #7
Chapter 26: Damn Jonghyun is gawd dayumn funny! I never thought he would do things like shouting whatever or where he's going to or do! LOL
Nikkilovesshinee #8
Chapter 65: MY FAVORITE QOUTE/PART IS THE PART WHERE THE THE DIRT PERSON RUINS ONEWS COUPON AND LIKE HE FORCES HIM TO EAT IT AND HE GOES CRAZY I DIED LAUGHING
jennanne #9
Chapter 65: THERE ARE A LOT OF GOOD QUOTES IN YOUR STORY, i COULDN'T DECIDE ON JUST ONE...
1- "i DON'T KNOW WHAT LOVE IS...BUT IF THE HEART IS SUPPOSED TO HURT WHEN YOU LOSE LOVE, THEN i THINK i MIGHT HAVE LOVED YOU." tEARS AND BLOOD - TAEMIN
2-"eat it you evildoer! eat it all!" "yeah! that's right! thief! you better enjoy that coupon! because i won't get to!" OHH...ONEW'S PISSED
KEEP UP THE AMAZING WRITING :)
TheBeautyOfWords #10
Chapter 62: "'Hmm...guess faeries like shinee things,' Minho mused as Key freaked out."
Ch. 62
I found this just hilarious and punny!