Jessica found herself sitting in a dim-lighted, empty park at twelve o'clock in the morning, light rain falling from the sky. Her legs slowly pushed her back and forth in the swing as she looked at the ground, mulling things over and waiting for YoonA to talk, or say something — anything, at the least.


The taller girl was just standing a few feet away from her, not actually saying a single word, and every so often Jessica raises her head to check if YoonA was still there or just simply went away. The silence seemed to take forever that Jessica just felt so anxious and weary; could only sigh and lean her head back, gazing up to the sky as tiny raindrops lightly fell on her face.


"Why here of all places?" Finally. "It's raining, Jessica."


"It's.. it is fine. I like it out here." Those words that left Jessica's lips were nothing more than a whisper. She dipped her head again and there was another beat of disquietude before they incidentally, simultaneously said, "What now?" which drew small smiles from both of them, and somehow effaced the uneasiness in the air.


"Why is it that it's always raining when we talk?" YoonA asked quietly, gathering herself as she finally took the unoccupied swing alongside Jessica.


"I don't have the slightest idea. Just let it be, the midnight's beautiful as it is.." Jessica mused with a half-smile, twisting the chains of the swing and then releasing them, spinning around a few times before bringing it to a halt. They stayed that way for a few minutes, swinging to and fro as they revel at the now-comfortable silence before Jessica repeated the hanging question, her voice barely heard. "What now?"


"Give me your hand.."


Jessica's heart skipped its significant beat and it took her a moment before her arm was fully able to cooperate. Misreading her seeming lack of response, YoonA was just starting to draw her hand back when Jessica grabbed at it tightly, almost as tight as the feeling she had in her chest. The rain shower started coming down in sheets, but, for all they care. The moment was way too precious and important than getting shelter from the rain; besides, they are together on this, finally together on this, under the rain at that.


YoonA realises that her love for Jessica is like the rain itself — at first, there was only one drop, one small, meaningless drop, but after a drop came the other, and then the next one. And before she could do anything about it, maybe before she could even realise it's already raining, the droplets created a waterfall that flooded her completely. She was immensely drowned in this feeling and there is no hope for her now.


She's not complaining though. In actuality, she would have been more than happy to keep drowning in that feeling if it were to mean that she'd get to be with Jessica at all times. Forevermore, that is.


"Do you.. do you mean what you said earlier?" YoonA started off, trying her best to utter the words in the most comprehensible way she can for her voice was quivering so badly. She stared at Jessica's iridescent eyes, held her gaze, and watched those waves of a forgotten promise swirl all the way back to her soul. Maybe, just maybe, they could still hold on to that promise and bring it back to life.


It pains her to know that all good things have to come to an end, but she greatly hopes that theirs can end in eternity; because that's what Jessica is to her, her eternity.


"I mean it, YoonA.. I mean it more than anything.." Jessica whispers but says it firmly, wanting YoonA to know that she really does. The doe-eyed was silent again and Jessica took the time to admire the tiny speckles in the taller girl's dark orbs. She missed looking at that.. she misses YoonA in general. Even just looking at her was enough for her heart to ache. Speaking to her was ten times worse. Jessica wants to say anything — everything to make YoonA realise that she really meant it when she said those words again, but the other girl had already begun talking and beat her to that.


"I-I don't know if you just accidentally drink some potion that made you forgive me, and you were able to say that you love me, again. Actually, I could still care less about that now but if you insist that you still love me, I won't give a single damn about it anymore.." YoonA finally put up a warm smile and Jessica did the same, her grasp on the doe-eyed's hand has never been tighter. Their fingers, when laced together, still managed to fit perfectly after all these years. And both of them was glad to know that fact. "Jessica.. I never changed my mind about you. I.. I tried to, but there is just something about you and that something inside me just won't let go. And as painful as this thing had been, I just can't be with no one else because you always own my heart. It's always yours. I have always been yours.."


Jessica stares at YoonA and the girl was smiling in a way that always made her heart clench. That smile was because of her, for her even. She would always love to see that smile, in the morning when she wakes up and at night when she was ready to close her eyes for another round of dream-filled sleep which was actually YoonA-filled slumber. Jessica knows what she wants, and all that she had ever wanted was YoonA to be back at her.


She might not know it consciously before or might not have admitted it to anyone, but she has already gotten over everything bad that had happened way before that decisive night took place. It was just a little too late for her to realise that because YoonA already left. But now, YoonA was here again and Jessica had her chance to put the shattered pieces back together, not like what she did earlier. YoonA had done her part — fought for her and never gave up on her; perhaps, this was the time that she did the same.


Screw the past, screw all that had transpired before this — before this day and this very hour—now is all that matters to her, and she knows it.


"I've always been yours, too.." Jessica admitted bashfully after her deep contemplation, then a hand of hers made a trembling journey to her jacket pocket. This is the moment of truth, she says to herself mentally. She has to do this once and for all. "And like what I've said before, I.. I want to be yours until.. until eternity becomes finite itself. Besides, I did promise that I'll never, ever quit holding you, right?" She took a cleansing breath before fishing a small velvet box out of her pocket and held onto it tightly.


YoonA's breath hitched in , and she froze, sitting absolutely still. Maybe, yeah, maybe it was all a dream. Except in dreams, she always knew what to say and what to do but right now, she just felt like a broken record, stuck on this one moment in time, doe-eyes on that box in Jessica's palm, as the girl began to speak. She should be the one doing this kind of thing — this very thing — not Jessica. 


"I-I love you, YoonA. I always do. You should have known that you can come back to me, at any time, at any moment, in any circumstances or place. But.. b-but you left.." Jessica's voice faltered that YoonA wasn't sure she'll be capable of continuing, but she still went on, albeit weakly. "Y-You left and I regret that I wasn't able to say that I already forgave you and was willing to forget everything, for you.. for us. You shouldn't.. you shouldn't have left. You shouldn't have gone away when I was ready to fight for us.."


YoonA in a controlling breath at the words. Hearing those things coming from the very same girl whom she left three years ago, the girl she had broken and hurt, just had her own heart aching all over again. "I'm.. an idiot, yeah?" she voiced out bitterly.


"Damn right you were," Jessica mused and still managed to smile that acknowledging smile despite her internal turmoil, "But right now, I don't see that idiot anymore. All I see is that perfect woman I want to spend my forever with.." she declared shakily as she opened the box and removed the ring with her trembling fingers. "I-I bought this ring on the way here because.. because I thought I could use it to claim you as mine, against Victoria, for her to back off. But I haven't had the chance to use it because you let her off immediately. So now, it can mean whatever you want it to be. Just know that I'm willing to wait.. whenever you're ready to be with me."


After few attempts of trying to steady her fingers, she handed the ring to YoonA with a hopeful smile. Besides, it wasn't up to her which finger the ring was to go on. Like what she had said, the ring meant whatever YoonA wanted it to mean — as long as it was something along the lines of a promise.


A promise to try again, to face any difficulties they might encounter, and most importantly — to never let go, ever again.


YoonA's hand closed tightly over the ring, clutching at it like she was afraid that if she didn't, it might disappear. "Sica.." she whispered, shaking her head and trailing off helplessly. She couldn't speak. She didn't have the right words for this moment — there weren't words that were big enough, that meant enough for this.


"I-I understand.." Jessica felt her heart plummet instantaneously and she hadn't even realised the rebellious tears starting to fall down her face; that explains why her vision had gone fuzzy. She knew it was too soon, she had practised a speech on the way here knowing it was much too soon. She had just been so desperate to tie YoonA with her knowing that the girl could simply go away and leave her again, anytime. "I understand. Y-You were not ready to—"


"No!" YoonA shook her head immediately, standing from the swing and kneeling in front of the crying girl, cradling the girl's face with her free hand. "No, that.. that isn't what I meant. I'm not saying no," she hastened to say to assure Jessica and uncurled her fingers, looking down at the ring resting in her palm. "It's just that.. I wasn't expecting this sudden turn of events. We're still on the rocks, I know. I'm not even sure if I already forgave myself for all the wrong I've done to you. Earlier, I didn't even know if we're going to survive the havoc. You telling me to leave, I was nothing but a heartbroken mess when you told me that. Now, you're here. You went after me. You went for me. It was all so much at once," YoonA paused for a second, her breath catching in . She was practically rapping out the words and she's afraid that Jessica might not get what she's saying so she slowed down.


"Everything.. Sica, everything about this, about now, for me t'was very unlikely to happen. I can hardly even bring myself to believe that you're actually doing this, saying all these. And don't you think.. don't you think I should be the one doing this for you? Giving you a ring?"


Jessica emitted a helpless sniffle, realising that she had misunderstood. "I-I thought.. you don't want to.. to.."


"Nah.." YoonA smiled and gently cupped her cheek, taking great care in brushing the tracks of tears away with her thumb. "It's everything that I would've ever wanted."


If anybody would ask Jessica later, she'd swear that she wasn't crying hard when YoonA finally pulled her in and wrapped her arms around her middle. She'd also deny that her voice cracked so bad when she asked YoonA what this meant—or if this even meant something. Her arms wormed their way around YoonA's neck, and she couldn't help feeling faintly surprised that this was something she could actually do now. She was completely still for god knows how long, memorizing the moment for she knew it was one she would always want to remember.


"Whoa.. This actually fits," YoonA chuckled and pulled apart from their embrace, showing Jessica the ring that now sat perfectly on her slender finger. "I still have the old ring.." she says softly after a short while, holding Jessica's hand and rubbing circles on her , ring finger. A ring should have been there ages ago if things didn't go the way they wrongly did. "I was still hoping you would wear it someday.."


Please Subscribe to read the full chapter