...No one says a single thing or utters a single sound. Nobody was making an attempt to speak as if doing so would be a heinous crime in itself. Sunny was sitting beside Jessica and she could almost hear the brunette's controlled breathing while a certain, uneasy doe-eyed girl was seated opposite them, looking like she was seconds away from running out of that café.


The doe-eyed averted her gaze from the duo in front of her, only to stare past the glass window and into her daughter who was happily playing outside with TaeYeon and HyoYeon. A small smile found its way to her face when she saw Naeun chortling gleefully and she would have laughed too, if it weren't for that cold, flat voice suddenly booming in her ears, making her go numb for a moment there.


"What was that about?" Jessica finally spoke, peering down her nose at YoonA in that imperial way she had that was second nature to her. Not a single emotion can be seen in her face, remaining apathetic despite the circumstances. It was the simplest defense mechanism she knew of, especially when this girl she hadn't seen for years, the one who left her completely and utterly alone in the dark, is now before her, again.


YoonA knew deep down that this was a long time coming, and yet this was the least she expected about seeing Jessica again. She looked at the girl and opened her lips, ready to do some explaining, but the words somehow got lost in transit from her brain to her tongue and she couldn't say anything.


The lack of response allowed Jessica to latch onto the clean fury that still burbled beneath the surface. That same contrite, guilty look on YoonA's face was the last thing she wanted to see as it reminds of that confrontation day when the girl proposed to her.


Yet, she couldn't talk about it, about what happened in the past because it's too much and the gulf is too wide; not because it doesn't matter but because this was an entirely different situation and none of them seemed prepared about it, even YoonA herself.


"Why did Naeun call me.. her mum?" Jessica asked once more, her voice a little softer this time.


Albeit hesitantly, YoonA started to talk, telling them how it all happened — Naeun's misinterpretation of the picture, Naeun asking why she only has one parent — and what she said to make her daughter feel better, saying Naeun is still a baby and she couldn't let her down. Jessica listened to her talk, managed to maintain a straight face all throughout, and tried her best to pretend YoonA was just a casual acquaintance or a mere stranger, not the ing love of her life..


"So, you told the kid that Jessi is her mummy?" Sunny asked, quite amused at what YoonA did.


"Not only that, actually.." YoonA reluctantly admitted as she chanced a glance over Jessica. "Naeun didn't stop asking questions after that and I was.. I was forced to tell her that her mummy and I are.. married," was what she added, drawing back to look at Jessica properly and the latter doesn't know what to say, just stares at YoonA with hanging slightly agape.


"Y-You told her that and she didn't question where I was?" Jessica forces out past the stubborn lump in , not knowing what to think anymore. 'Naeun', 'mummy', and 'married' were all jumbling in a confused heap inside her head and god, did she feel so disturbed.


YoonA glanced again outside the shop, realising how stupid it was of her to make her daughter believe such things, when those things were almost next to impossible considering hers and Jessica's not-yet-settled past. "She had asked. I just said that.. you were left here in Korea because your work was too important that you cannot leave it and go with us."


There was an unnerving silence in the air that seemed to envelop the three before Jessica blurted something absently, yet so matter-of-factly that it took both YoonA and Sunny a minute to process. They could just stare at each other with surprised looks on either faces when they heard it slip past Jessica's lips.


"She must have thought I was a bad mum.." says the brunette, all the while staring at Naeun in that melancholic way of hers. That vague yearning in her eyes didn't go unobserved and only seemed to astonish the other two on the table.


YoonA tried miserably to hide her shock as she refused to let herself feel hope, that raw and unbridled hope starting to spindle through her entire being, because she didn't honestly think that a couple of words could be said and then everything would be back to normal. It's never that easy. Things don't worked that way, she told herself brutally.


As she stared at Jessica, YoonA realised how she longed to be into the girl's side and press that forehead to her own, smooth that stray lock of brown back behind her ear and kiss those soft lips again. How she missed this girl...


She could almost believe Jessica feels the same thing.


But all hints of vulnerability and gentleness were suddenly swept away as Jessica's mask dropped back into place. Her head snapped back into YoonA, with nothing but hints of malice and suspicion in her eyes.


"You're not using Naeun against me, are you?" she asked icily, eyebrows pulling together.


For a second, YoonA looked scandalised at the accusation and a flash of hurt crossed her eyes, but she immediately denied it when Jessica's frown got worse. "Jessica, I'm not using my daughter for anything. I never meant for these things to turn out the way they did. There are some things I just can't handle too well," she simple stated as if them talking were now the most natural thing in the world.


A false smile twisted Jessica's lips and she nodded, YoonA's words leaving a bitter taste in , straight to her heart squeezing it painfully tight. "Some things you just can't handle too well? Oh right," she muttered acidly, standing abruptly since the pretense wasn't working anymore, at least on her part, and she needed to get the hell out of there before she could make a total fool of herself and do something pathetic, like crying, in front of YoonA.


It was the least thing she needed to do right now.


Sunny was alarmed when she made for the door and the girl tried to catch up with her. "Jessi, where are you going?" asked the shorter girl, holding onto her wrist.


"I'm not ready for any of these, Sunny. It's killing me," she whispered acrimoniously, freed her wrist from the steady grip, and walked away.


Sunny stayed rooted on the spot and glanced back at YoonA, only to see the hurt in those doe eyes as they helplessly watched Jessica go.



***



YoonA was a mess when she drove back into SooYoung's villa and the latter doesn't know what to do, asks if it's true that she and Jessica had the chance to talk and gets a curt nod from the doe-eyed. Naeun was soundly asleep in YoonA's arms and Tiffany took the little girl from her, excused herself and brought Naeun into a guest room.


YoonA was wound up so tense when she narrated what happened that SooYoung suspects if she dug her fingers into the girl's back that YoonA would pop like a volcano, like a geyser. She's a time bomb waiting to happen — SooYoung doesn't normally think in clichés — but she can't get YoonA to relax and she's damn worried.


"I hate myself," YoonA gasps, clutching on her head and heard SooYoung sigh.


"I kind of hate you too," SooYoung probed softly. "But if there's anyone that should hate you, it's Jessica, and she doesn't."


"I could almost believe that too," YoonA shook her head. "But she accused me of using Naeun against her and I'm sure that was disdain I saw in her eyes."


"I understand what you did for your daughter. But if I were in Jessica's position, I would have thought that way, too. You sure you're not thinking of using Naeun to win Jessica over?"


It wasn't hurt that registered into YoonA's face but rather a defensive look. She shot her bestfriend a stare of disbelief and released an exasperated, weary sigh. "I just love the both of them too much that a stupid thing like that never crossed my mind. I once made a wrong decision and something like using my daughter for my own good would only make things worse. But you couldn't blame me if I wished for Jessica and I to be together again and for Naeun to have a complete family when she's growing up."


"But, you do realise it's quite impossible for that to happen when you're focused only on Jessica, right? I'm not telling that you search for another woman to be Naeun's mother but the kid will be affected if this chaos will ensue."


"I know, and I will do my best to protect her amidst of all this. But, I will also pursue Jessica with everything that I have, for her to love me again. Who's it hurting to try, Soo?" YoonA asked woefully.


"You, it's hurting you." SooYoung placed a hand on YoonA's shoulder and gave it a soothing rub. "I know you're hiding, Yoong. Hiding in Jessica and what could have been."


YoonA chuckled bitterly and stared at SooYoung straight in the eyes. "You're right. But maybe, it's not just what could have been. Maybe, it's what could still be."


The taller girl chuckled along with her. "It’s very hopeful of you, huh. You know, for that to happen, you better be going now."


YoonA had a look of confusion but was instantly washed away when SooYoung gently pushed her to stand up and said, "It's the same condo. She doesn't go anywhere but work and that abode of hers. Go now."


Sometimes, doe-like eyes have the ability to form into amazing eye smiles, too. And they are simply beautiful, especially when they were full of hope and the fire of determination was unwavering in such a resolute way.


YoonA held her car keys firmly and placed an affectionate, grateful kiss on the crown of SooYoung's head. "Thank you, SooYoung. You know you're the best bestfriend ever."


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