P5 | I love you Dad by Exotic-T

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Pick up for  Exotic-T


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''I love you Dad by Exotic-T'


Reviewer: junior_ace
Mark :35/50 or 70%

 

Title: 4/5
i can't get the perfect title because the story is not completed..

Des+foreword: 9/10
it's really good, but it seems like boring if you repeat the same description in the first chapter

Characters: 4/5
nothing to comment but please detail it.

Grammar: 5/10
you're doing a short form of 'he is' to 'his' and others. it's really wrong when it comes to the character's pov because the character was not talking.

Plot: 7/10
yeah. just like i say, i love your plot but it seems something missing... i can feel the missing thing while reading the story

Flow: 3/5
the thing is, no detailing around(?) if i think again, it was too fast to face each other in other ways (do you know what i meant? boyXboy??)

Bonus (based on font,posters/background) : 3/5
emm, i didn't know much about the poster but the end of the story was a sad one, right?? if the ending was a sad one, prefer an angst poster^^

 


Reviewer: -fckingodult
Mark : 31/50 or 62%

Title: 2/5
Why does H means?


Description/foreword:7/10
;I was confused on the last line.I had to re read everything.The only thing I understood was Kris's ex gf died,has a kid,probably 18,Kris's 30 & a man with black suit suddenly popped out /widen eyes.But then,I understood everything that you're trying to ..express?(?)


Characters:4/5
;Good,I understand eveyrhing :)


Grammar&everything: 13/20
;Nah uh.You were alright until you mixed up the past tense and present tense.I'm not sure but I think you mized it up..a little.At first it was present tense but when it comes to the man with the suit,it suddenly changed into past tense.'the stranger screamed blablabla' (past) 'the guy glares at the blabla'.See what I mean? and 'i' are for its or anything that isnt related to human's name or animal's name.It should be capital I.

Plot:3/5

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Bonues: 2/5
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Total marks:31/50
62%

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omigod,sorry.

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Average Mark: 66/100 or 66%
Keep up the good work !

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Comments (189)

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AmieDMJ
#1
Chapter 46: bye bye~ I love this shop so much /cries a Han river
Cinnimoroll08
#2
Chapter 46: farewell TT^TT
(im kinda interested but idk xD)
DobuOnew
#3
Can we be affiliates?

Somnium Review Shop
http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/549557/somnium-review-shop-open-dreams-request-review-shop-reviews

I would be glad if you accepted. :)
-farewell
#4
MindragonFan #5
Chapter 44: Holy sheit, the x-men trailer is amazing!! Teach me your ways, sensei. *bows to your awesomeness*
fluffpenguin
#6
Chapter 3: When will you be open again?
fluffpenguin
#7
Chapter 3: Is my dp that I requested last time included as one time that I requested?
buttsmex
#8
Chapter 42: Reviewer 1: Well.. i meant that love isnt easy. especially if it was ur own dad. and to make it all for worse, he died. and ur pregnant when ur suppose to. sorry if i was not being expressive lol. ^^' Thank you. Haha thanks. I was wondering about that. XD Really? Its my third story.. so.. kinda nervous if i still make mistakes. :3 well.. i dont exactly love m-preg.. but yeah. lol Thanks you. :) Its ok. Thanks for the time. <3

Reviewer 2: I know. I'm sorry.. ;_; lol jk. I did the title first then the story. I guess it was a mistake lol. I dunno what to put.. T^T my wrong. i should've put kris as a slight appearance. Yeah. I'm from malaysia. But i'm always on top in my class when it comes to english though. ^^ And okie. Hmm.. ok. Thanks. I was thinking that. But dang, i use it to much. Thanks for the time~ <3
--vikseu
#9
Chapter 39: Whoops~ i think you forgot something. can i ask for a redo?