Being back in school with the knowledge that she’d willingly kissed Sehun bothered her. Not only because it was wrong, but also because it was something she had to keep from Yixing. The latter could never know. Not when it had been her initiative to kiss him. A feat that would cause havoc if anyone found out.

“Eunbi. Over here.” Ahbin waved her hand, as if to make sure she wouldn’t miss the little group of students that stood against the wall, waiting for class to start. Kai and Tao were present, along with some other person Eunbi had never seen before. Yixing however, was nowhere in sight. It eased her mind a little that he wasn’t there. Still. She also knew the two of them would run into one another sooner or later. Eunbi couldn’t exactly hide from him.

“There’s our favorite girl. How is it going? No new rumours?” Eunbi’s cheeks flushed bright red at Tao’s words. She understood it was a joke. But that didn’t hinder her from blushing. Luckily, Ahbin stole the attention for a while when she asked Tao what he meant by ‘favorite girl’. The other girl was, just like Tao, joking around. And whilst they were going at it, childishly arguing and throwing stupid comments at each other, Kai stepped up to her, a smile on his lips.

“Long time no see.” Eunbi did her best to reply the smile even though her thoughts were elsewhere.

“Yeah. It’s been a while.” a nervous feeling were slowly creeping on and the girl was somehow worried. Of what, she didn’t know. She couldn’t even understand why she was reacting in such a way. Nothing had really happened the past minutes. Nothing that would spark such emotions. Sure, Eunbi became distressed when Tao mentioned the rumour. But no one could possibly know of the incident the previous day. When the whole kiss ordeal was repeated. No. No one knew about it. Only her mother had been home and she wasn’t even around to witness what took place.

“You are waiting for Yixing, right? He’ll be here soon.”

True that. Yixing showed up a few minutes later. He didn’t smile. Not even when he met her eyes did he show any signs of happiness, which was so unusual that Eunbi, once again began to doubt herself. She wondered if he was angry at her, if he was upset about what she’d told him the day before. It seemed so for Eunbi couldn’t find any other reason besides that. Then again. His worry wasn’t unreasonable. If she hadn’t lied to him so many times, Eunbi might have questioned his expression. At least he didn’t ignore her. For that was something she almost expected him to do. So was not the case though, because he pulled her aside, his hand gently secured around her wrist.

“Could we talk. Not now of course since class is about to start. But later.” talk. Yes. Sure. It was inevitable after all. And they came to an agreement to meet up at lunch. A meeting she spent the following periods thinking about. Math, history, and english suffered from her lack of attention. It even went so far that Ahbin had to poke her with a pen once in a while. None of the tactics worked. Not the pen and definitely not the teacher telling her to pay attention. It was a waste to stay there, and Eunbi would have been relieved when the bell finally rang for lunch if it wasn’t for the fact that she was about to face Yixing. He said he’d wait at the spot they talked at the last time.

“You’re in the way, Eunbi.” she looked up at the sound of Ahbin’s voice, only to realize she stood frozen in the doorway. Several of her classmates were giving her stares and whispering foul words. Nothing new exactly. What was new however, was her reaction. Eunbi could not even remember the last time she was this nervous about seeing Yixing. Well. She’d always felt slightly anxious when he was around. Why it happened to be so she didn’t really know. Before anyone could complained further, the said girl disappeared down the hallway. But not without informing Ahbin first. She told her friend she had an appointment and that she would be back as soon as possible. The hall was clogged up with students, the more part of them heading for the cafeteria. This made it rather difficult for Eunbi to hurry, which was good and bad. It gave her some extra time to prepare herself of what was to come. Yet, at the same time, she knew that the content of what Yixing was going to say wouldn’t change just because she was a bit late.

A few minutes later, Eunbi stepped up to Yixing, who took her hand and pulled her aside. He didn’t want anyone listening in on their conversation. She understood that because neither did she. They finally came to a stop further down a empty hallway. It was barely used and gave them enough privacy to speak.

“I’ve been thinking.” and immediately Eunbi began to wonder if he was going to call it quits. That their relationship would be over. The mere thought of it made her sick to her stomach. Especially so since his decision must’ve been based on what he heard and saw the previous day. If only she’d told him the truth earlier. If only she’d revealed everything as they happened instead of dumping it on him all at once. It was too late for that now. All Eunbi could do from this point on was damage control. To reassure him that he shouldn’t worry about Sehun. It was almost as if she believed it herself. Almost. Unfortunatly. It wasn’t that easy.

“Okay.” it was the only thing she could say.

“And maybe we should break it up.” she blinked at him, as if waiting for him to say it was a joke. Apparently, it wasn’t. And when it finally sunk in what he said, she expected her heart to fall from its place and crash. Eunbi was so certain it would break apart that when it never occured, when all she felt was relief, she began to question her own emotions. Did she not love him? A strange feeling overwhelmed her as she stood there. Maybe it hadn’t been love, but merely a crush so intense she’d thought it was love.

Yixing must’ve mistaken her expression for he was quick to explain himself.

“It’s not just because of yesterday,“ he paused, took a breath, and then continued again, “I’ve been thinking for some time actually. I mean. There’s a spot reserved for me at a University I’ve trained all my life for. A University I wanted to attend ever since I was little.” Eunbi wasn’t sure whether she was supposed to laugh or cry. He was dumping her not because of Sehun and all the incidents with him. Well. Maybe it played a small part. But because his desire to attend a University in China was too great. And even though she was hurt at the decision, she could also understand him. It was his dream after all, and it would not be fair if she stopped him from pursuing it.

“Oh.” she simply accepted it. There was no point in trying to negotiate with him. Not when he’d obviously decided already, what he was going to do.

“I know it may seem selfish.” Eunbi didn’t say anything. Couldn’t say anything for her thoughts were in turmoil. She was upset but at the same time not. It made no sense. Then again, emotions did not always do so. They were complicated and Eunbi was confused to say the least. Love was far from a topic she knew a lot about. On the other hand. She did love him. Right? Her last thought was enough to question her feelings for him. Something she shouldn’t have to do. Sure. They may not have been together for long, and there were still a lot to be learned. But to say she didn’t love him wouldn’t be right. Just the word itself made her shiver. Both in discomfort and because she deep within knew about her feelings.

“No. I understand.” with that said, she walked away like a coward. Lunch was long forgotten, as was Ahbin and everything else, as she made her way forward. She’d just ended her relationship with the boy she thought she loved. The boy who she so desperately wanted to love. It reminded her of something her grandmother once said. How love was the greatest emotion a person could feel, and that she shouldn’t look for it. But rather let it come to her. There was just this one problem. Love like the one her grandmother described came from the wrong person. Yixing was not that person.

Eunbi frowned, trying her very best to ignore the chaos inside her head, for she didn’t want to acknowledge the reality. Didn’t want to admit that there was someone else. Someone who, despite his sometimes stupid ways, always cared one way or another.