XII

Tangerine Express

 “People pursue things. As soon as they have them they run away from them.” 
― Neil Gaiman

 


 

As the elevator ascends upwards into an unknown future that seems more inclined to welcome 'goodbye's than 'hello's, the inside of Yoona's mouth tastes not like the metallic tang that people describe fear to taste of, but like peanut butter, an unlikely instrument of suffocation, and one that is painfully familiar. One only Luhan would understand. After a while, she can't take it anymore, and somewhere between the second and third floor, she exhales, but it doesn't help much.

"We're here," Jaejoong announces, just as the doors slide open.

Yoona doesn't move.

Jaejoong stares at her from the doorway of the elevator, already halfway out. "Don't you want to go?"

"I—" She tries to tell him that yes, she does want to, she has to go, but no words come out and the only visible action her body is capable of is blinking.

"Are you scared?" he asks outright.

"Yes."

"I am, too," Jaejoong says quietly, and it's the first and last time he ever says it.

 

*

 

"Hello, Yoona. Nice to see you again."

Yoona nods, but doesn't shake the hand being offered to her because her hand is shaking enough on its own. "Dr. Jung."

"Please, call me Yun—" he begins, but then his eyes land on Yoona's hands, and he has the decency to shut his mouth. Without another word, he turns and allows her to trail in his wake, giving her space as he makes his way down the hall. Behind them, Jaejoong ambles along at a snail's pace, hands buried in his pockets. Outwardly, he is the perfect illusion of nonchalance, but he is only concealing what the other two don't bother to hide— anxiety, and under that, fear.

"Here we are." Dr. Jung announces. They've stopped in front of a door at the end of the hall. This one isn't numbered; instead, it is labelled simply with a card pushed into a plastic slot that says, Private Intensive Care Unit. Yoona looks as though her whole world is teetering on the edge of a stiletto.

Dr. Jung clears his throat. "I should get back to Jongin," he says, smiling that no-lipped smile owned by people who don't usually want to smile but feel like it is the polite thing to do. "I told him I was just going to the toilet."

Despite everything, Yoona finds the will to give him a smile. "Thanks for looking after him," she says. "I don't think he's ready to know about any of this yet."

At this, Yunho's face twitches. "Actually— maybe I shouldn't go."

"What, why?" The smile promptly fades and becomes a frown on Yoona's brow.

Instead of answering her, Yunho leans in close to Jaejoong and whispers something she doesn't catch. After a moment, they both nod and Jaejoong straightens. "I'll stay with Jongin," he says, with an uncharacteristically solemn air. And before Yoona can say anything, Jaejoong has his heel and is fast disappearing down the hall, back the way they came.

Yoona turns to Yunho. "What was that about?"

"I just remembered you can't go in there alone," he replies quietly, avoiding her eyes. "There's something I have to explain."

"Something you have to explain?" Yoona echoes.

"Yes. It's about Taemin."

Yunho doesn't need to say much more, because by now, Yoona has pushed herself into the room and is confronted with a scene no doctor would want to show a mother, let alone explain. falls open, but no sound comes out, and Yunho knows what Yoona is seeing, because he sees it, too. In fact, this is the only thing he's been seeing for a while now, if not at work, then constantly in his now fitful dreams.

In the middle of the room, Taemin lies in a bed, surrounded by wires, with a mask strapped to his face. The sight itself would be simple to a stranger, but to his mother, it is too much. When Yoona finally tears her eyes away from her son and stares unseeingly at Yunho, her face is pale. "Is he—"

Yunho shakes his head. "No, he's not... dead," he says quietly. "But he's very sick." He clears his throat, but the lump building there doesn't go away. "He could be on his way out."

Yoona's mouth moves soundlessly and she shakes her head, as if doing so will change reality. Finally, a sob breaks out and Yunho barely catches her before she can fall to the floor. Carefully, he brings her over to a chair and sits her down.

"I don't understand," she whispers, hitching on the words. "How did he get so sick?"

It's in this moment, with Yoona's torn heart all over her face, that Yunho realises just how much she doesn't know, realises that this is the last thing she had expected. After all, the last time she'd seen Taemin would have been when he was a baby; not six years old and dying.

If it was Luhan here by her side— the way he was, not the present one who doesn't remember her—Yunho thinks the two parents would both be a wreck, and for the first time, he considers it lucky that Yoona isn't facing this with Luhan. As a doctor, an outside party, the gaps he has to fill for Yoona concern knowledge, not emotion. And he at least knows how to do that. Hesitantly, Yunho puts a hand on her shoulder. "This is going to be a lot of information, Yoona," he says. "Are you prepared to hear it right now?"

He doesn't know what he expects—hesitation, perhaps. But there is none. Though her fingers tremble as she wipes her tears away, Yoona nods and straightens up as best as she can. "Yes." With conviction. "Yes, I'm ready."

Yunho pulls another chair up beside her and leans forward, propping his elbows on his knees. "When Taemin was only a few months old, Luhan brought him here. I found out later that Taemin had been diagnosed with cystic fibrosis in Korea, but the doctor there had told him that the clinic Taemin could receive the best treatment at was here, in Japan."

"Cystic what?" Yoona already looks lost. "What is that?"

"It's a disease of the secretory glands which causes excess mucus to build up primarily in the lungs ad digestive system," Yunho explains. "It's passed down genetically, if both parents carry a mutated copy of a gene called CFTR."

"So Luhan and I are both carriers of mutated CFTR genes?"

"Yes, you must be," Yunho replies. "But Luhan didn't know that. That's why he didn't tell you anything. He thought it was entirely his fault that Taemin had cystic fibrosis, when in reality, if anyone was to take the blame, it wouldn't have been just him—it would have been both of you. But you can't blame anyone because you can't control or change your genes. Luhan didn't consider that."

Yoona looks broken. No, not just broken, Yunho thinks. Shattered. "I still don't understand," she whispers, and Yunho has a feeling she's not speaking to him. "He didn't have to leave, I could have helped, I could have done something, anything..."

"Yoona," Yunho interrupts gently. "It's in the past now."

"It shouldn't be," she replies miserably. Yunho doesn't quite know what to say to that, but it turns out his reply isn't needed— Yoona draws herself up stiffly and nods. "Go on," she says. "Tell me the rest."

So he does. Yunho tells her how Luhan had moved in near Jaejoong, who looked after him first through appointing himself as Luhan's best friend, then becoming a constant helping hand and an uncle figure in Taemin's life. He tells her how Taemin had started school, and Luhan had found a job, and how even though Taemin had received frequent treatment and therapy at Heiwa, his condition had barely seen anything better than stability.

When he's finished, Yoona's eyes flick towards Taemin, who has not moved since they entered the room. "So how did it end up like this?" She hesitates. "Is he in a coma, like Luhan was?"

"No, Taemin's just asleep," Yunho answers. "This is what I wanted to explain, though."

He sighs, preparing himself mentally, but before he can say anything, Yoona interrupts. "Don't say sorry," she says. "Just tell me the truth."

Yunho sighs once more. "A few days ago, Taemin started coughing up blood," he explains. "Naturally, Luhan brought him in immediately, but we had to do some tests first to find out what was happening to him, and since I anticipated they would take a while, I told him to go home. After assessing Taemin's behaviour and symptoms, I realised what was wrong, and I asked Jaejoong to call Luhan." He looks away. "That's when the car accident happened. Luhan was probably crossing the road when his phone rang, and he must have been so anxious to hear news about Taemin that he forgot entirely about his own safety."

There's silence for a moment, and Yunho wonders if he's cut deeper into fresh wounds. But Yoona doesn't mention Luhan, when she says, "So you figured out what's wrong with him. Taemin."

"Yes, I have." At this, Yunho releases a sigh that's many Jupiters heavier than the last few. If it was a crime to hurt people, then in some ways, he thinks, doctors would be the worst offenders. "He has pneumonia." He doesn't meet her eyes, and his mouth babbles ahead. "On its own, pneumonia is extremely unpleasant, but paired with Taemin's cystic fibrosis, it's aggravating his system, especially his lungs, more than it would in a child without his disease." His tangent ends with a gasp, and he expects something, anything, in response, but instead there is nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

Yunho jumps into the abyss and lifts his eyes—when he looks at Yoona, she is destroyed. Her lips are cracked, but they have suffered the least in the aftermath of his revelation. "Before, you said he's on his way out," she finally whispers. "Please tell me you didn't mean that."

Heat swells behind Yunho's eyes. "We're trying everything we can," he says, "but Taemin's lungs are failing."

 

***

 

It's early in the week—Tuesday, Luhan remembers, and it's probably the first correct thing he's recalled that day— when he wakes up in an environment that's more unfamiliar than usual (and that's saying a lot). He gets an explanation for his situation a few blinks later, when the smell of coffee wafts to his nose, and trailing in its wake is a man wearing bright yellow pyjamas.

"Your coffee smells gross," Luhan tells Jaejoong. He pushes back the blanket over his legs, and as he does so, realises he had somehow spent the night on Jaejoong's couch.

"Don't knock it till you try it, princess." Jaejoong sets his steaming mug down on the coffee table right in front of Luhan. "How are you?"

"Fine. I guess," Luhan adds, then frowns, because Jaejoong is staring at him oddly. "What?"

"Nothing," his friend says, his expression strangely shadowed as he produces a spoon from his pocket, which he swirls around in his coffee. Luhan notices for the first time that there are dark circles under Jaejoong's eyes. "Hey, do you remember my sister?"

"Yana?"

For some reason, Jaejoong winces. "Yoona."

"Oh yeah, that's right." Luhan frowns, wondering why Jaejoong looks so affected. "What about her?"

"She's moving into the apartment next to yours this afternoon." Jaejoong pauses for a moment. His face contorts and he opens his mouth to say something else, but apparently decides against it. In the end, all he adds is, "I just thought I'd let you know."

Luhan, puzzled, nods slowly. "O-kay...?" The two sit in silence; Jaejoong drinking his coffee and Luhan watching him drink. "You know, I can't remember you telling me you had a sister," he says.

"You lost your house key somehow," Jaejoong says abruptly. "That's why you slept on my couch last night."

"You haven't answered my question."

"It wasn't a question," Jaejoong says.

"I wasn't asking for the password to your Neopets account, man. I was just wondering why I don't remember you ever mentioning your sister."

Jaejoong's expression is both blank and many seas deep. "I haven't seen her in a long time," he says finally. "For the past few years, she's been looking for something, and she only just found it."

"And what is it she's been searching for?" Luhan looks interested now.

"I don't know. She won't tell me." A strange look crosses Jaejoong's face. "Maybe you should ask her."

 

***

 

Two nights before, an old woman Yoona had seen once or twice when she'd been bringing Jongin and their things into the apartment, had knocked on the door and gifted her with, to her bewilderment, a crate full of potted plants. Yoona had opened , intending to thank the woman, when she realised they probably didn't speak the same language, and by the time Yoona had thought of the word for 'thank you' in Japanese, the woman had already left.

Fast forward several hours to 5am and with Jongin asleep and a restless mind, Yoona finds herself  using her shoulder to nudge the sliding door open, edging out onto the balcony with the crate of potted plants in her arms. Young light strains through the clouds as the sun begins to rise, and the air has a pleasant, fragrant chill to it.

"Oh, you're a gardener?"

Yoona jumps, almost dropping the crate. She whirls around, towards the sound of the voice, and finds herself looking at Luhan, who is leaning on the railings of his own balcony, just across from hers. Her breath catches. Technically, they are only a few metres apart, but between the balconies is thin air and a fall that kisses death. She exhales, shoulders deflating. There is always something separating them.

Realising Luhan is waiting for an answer, Yoona collects herself and nods, unable to think of how else to respond; everything she wants to say is irrelevant to this particular moment. He tilts his head, narrowing his eyes as he stares at her, and for a moment Yoona thinks that maybe, just maybe, recognition is tickling the edge of his memory...

But he just says, "You don't look like a gardener. I mean, no offence, it's not a bad thing. I'm just telling the truth."

She manages a laugh. Her heart beats with the adrenaline-like poison of unfulfilled hope. "Yeah, you know, I never used to be into the whole gardening thing. Didn't think I ever would be, either." For a second, she hesitates. "But over the years, since my husband wasn't around to take care of the flowers in the house, they all started dying, and instead of getting rid of them entirely, I learnt how to make them grow." It's partially the truth. When the flowers Luhan had bought to brighten up the house had died, she'd bought the same bouquets again and again, learning through experience how best to look after them. Smiling a little, Yoona asks, "How about you, what are you doing out here?"

"I like standing out here," he says, looking up at the sky. "I was here last night and woke up this morning on the balcony. I keep waking up in unexpected places," he says quietly, with a soft smile.

Yoona almost chokes. "What?"

"Last night, I woke up and I was on Jaejoong's couch," Luhan explains, laughing. "I don't remember falling asleep there, but then again my memory hasn't exactly been very trustworthy recently." He smiles sheepishly, and all Yoona can do is stare. "Anyway," he continues," I like being out here. Last night, especially, looking at the stars... it made me feel something, sort of like a— like a tugging, here." He points to his chest, then grins lopsidedly when Yoona's eyes widen. "I sound crazy, don't I?"

"N-no, it's just—" Yoona ducks her head, pretending to busy herself with her plants as she blinks away tears. The night sky. She shakes her head with a small smile. You don't remember that night when we lay under the stars and I gave you all the parts of my heart I didn't even know I'd hidden. I've never told anyone everything about my life like that before. Not before that, and not since then. "I like the night sky, too," she says finally.

Luhan nods, frowning like he's taking it in, and they lapse into a silence that is comfortable on one side and painful on the other. It's hard for Yoona to pot the plants when she can feel his presence like this, so close but also about as far away from her as he could possibly get.

"Hey do you mind me asking..." Luhan trails off, and he gives her another sheepish smile when she looks up, his eyes disappearing into a myriad of creases. "Sorry, I just wanted to ask you something. You don't have to answer if you don't want to."

Yoona puts down her spade. "No, it's okay, go ahead."

He looks away, hesitating. "What happened to your husband, exactly? The way you spoke about him before made it seem like he's not around anymore... Did you lose contact with him or something?"

Did I lose contact with him? His words almost make Yoona laugh out loud. Yes, I did, but now he's right in front of me and our connection is still lost.

"Something like that," Yoona says eventually. Then, more carefully, "He... came here, to Japan. A while back. And now I'm here to help him." She holds her breath. Will he remember—?

"Any luck?"

Yoona exhales. No. Nothing. She pastes on a smile, shakes her head. "I'm still trying to find him."

Neither of them say anything for a while, but Yoona notices that Luhan is frowning at her last words, mumbling something under his breath that she doesn't hear. The sun has fully revived itself now, having shed the sleeping gown of night and settled into the orange-pink glow of dawn. A new day is being born.

Just when Luhan opens his mouth, Yoona finishes with the plants and gets to her feet, dusting her hands off on her pants. "Well, I'd better go inside," she says. "Jongin—my son—" Our son, she thinks, "is probably awake by now."

"Okay," Luhan says, and something in his hand catches Yoona's eye. Something orange. She frowns, trying to focus on it, but just as she blinks, Luhan puts it in his pocket. "Have a nice day."

There's some hesitance in his voice, but she can't figure out why it's there, just as she can't figure out why his smiles only make her feel more and more hollow. Yoona nods, turns to go, but just as she does, Luhan's voice calls her back.

"Hey." The hesitance from before has morphed, taking on a new form—a gleam of opportunity. Luhan clears his throat, leaning forward on the railings that separates them from the fall; from each other. In the early morning light, his eyes twinkle. "Would you like to have dinner at my place later on?"

 

***

 

Mirrors reflect even when they're covered with condensation, Luhan thinks, because when he looks at the foggy mirror in front of him, everything is hazy. It reflects his life.

Shaking his head, he swipes his hand across the mirror, clearing some of the condensation away to reveal his face staring back at him in the streaks of clear mirror peeking out. But even though he's looking at himself, it's not his own face that he sees. It's not even that Luhan no longer recognises his own face— no, the reason he isn't seeing himself is because there's another face that he can't push out of his mind—the face of the lady who lives next door, the woman who happens to be his best friend's sister. Yoona.

"This is weird," Luhan mutters for the umpteenth time as he dries his hair with a towel. "You can't stop seeing your best friend's sister's face in your head. What's wrong with you?"

Luhan stares at himself right in the face, but his mind replaces his eyes with another pair that don't belong to him. It's unnerving, the way thinking of her makes him feel. He knows it's not love, because he doesn't really know her, but the thing is, he feels like he does. Something in the way she had looked at him makes Luhan feel like he isn't entirely crazy.

Or maybe he is. He can barely remember the days before, but he can remember with frightening clarity the way Yoona had looked at him this morning, her face strangely careful and guarded as they'd spoken from their balconies. It makes no sense.

He shakes his head again. Maybe I just have an overactive photographic memory, Luhan thinks, and as he walks out of the bathroom, he chalks the whole Yoona thing up to him just being weird. That's all.

But then there's this. Luhan wanders over to the dining table and finds himself picking up the little orange toy train sitting on the tabletop, right where he'd left it before he'd gone for a shower. He'd discovered the train in his room when he'd come home a few days ago, and since then, he'd spent hours turning it over and over in his hands. Again, like Yoona, he doesn't know what is driving his fascination with the toy train.

Up until this morning, Luhan had been ready to admit that the train was just a random thing catching his fancy, the same way a different colour appeals to a child every other day for no apparent reason, but then Yoona had mentioned this morning that her son's name is Jongin, which had thrown him off.

Luhan looks down at the train in his hands, turning it over so that it lies upside down in his palm, revealing the faded, but still legible, name written on the bottom of the train in permanent marker: Jongin.

 

***

 

Luhan decides to make ravioli for dinner.

Yoona arrives in a peach coloured sweater while Luhan is in the midst of cooking, but when she makes a move towards the kitchen to help, he shoos her away, insisting that she sit and make herself comfortable. "You're the guest," he chides.

For the first time in a long while, Yoona smiles genuinely, craning her neck to catch a glimpse of the pots Luhan is hovering over with a deep frown. "Do you even know what you're doing?"

"Of course," he retorts, but it sounds more like a question. "I'm practically a chef. Even ask Jaejoong."

Yoona laughs. "Are you setting yourself up for failure?"

"Hey!" Luhan points a wooden spoon at her, splattering drops of sauce all over the floor. "Who's the one in the kitchen, cooking up a masterpiece?" He tries to look at her sternly, but they both end up laughing.

Now, as they begin eating, Luhan reiterates his words, staring at Yoona intently. "I'm a master of the kitchen, just you wait and see," he insists, as she lifts her fork up for the first bite. "So? How is it?"

Yoona has to cover to stop herself from laughing out loud with full. "What did you say this dish was, again?"

"Ravioli."

"Ah," she says.

"Ah, what?" Luhan's expression is somewhere between worry and bewilderment.

"I don't know what ravioli is. I thought this was dumplings." Yoona bursts out laughing at his expression.

Luhan looks slightly abashed. "Man, I really thought being the best chef in the world and all, I could easily impress you."

Yoona's laugh dies down a little. "What?"

His face reddens even more. "Never mind," he says, shrugging. "It's a good thing I like dumplings."

They settle into a comfortable silence, cutlery clinking to the symphony of a friendly dinner. "So," Luhan says, "did you ask Jaejoong to look after your son while you came here?"

"Yeah... How about you, did you have to clear anyone out of the house?" she asks, even though she already knows the answer.

Luhan shakes his head. "I live alone," he says. "It's strange though, because I found a bunch of children's toys in my room." He pauses, digging into his pockets and bringing out a orange toy train. "This was one of them."

Yoona's throat suddenly tightens. "Oh,"  is all she can manage.

"Yeah, I've been looking at it for the past few days, and I just can't get my mind off it..." he trails off.

"I've seen something like that before," Yoona blurts out, then immediately regrets it.

Luhan frowns, turning the train over in his hands one last time before putting it back into his pocket. "Have you really?"

Yoona manages a smile around the quivering of her lips. "Yeah," she says. "Jongin likes trains."

The frown on his face deepens, but after a moment, he shakes his head, offering a small smile. "Sorry, my mind wanders."

"It's okay." Yoona's eyes search his face, trying to decipher the emotions he always used to leave scattered on his features, but she finds that they're as tangled as she remembers them to be. "Mine does, too." The words come easily, but something inside her has been pulled taut, ready to snap.

Luhan stares down at his plate, absentmindedly pushing a piece of 'ravioli' around his plate. "Do you remember this morning, when we were talking across the balconies?"

"Yes?" How can I forget?

"I hope you don't think I'm nosy or anything, but the other day, I asked your brother why I'd never seen you before, and Jaejoong said you've been away for a while, looking for something, but now you're here, because you've found it." Luhan looks at her with an expression that seems to wither away every last defence Yoona has. "And I thought when I spoke to you this morning that maybe what you were looking for was your husband, but then you said you were still looking for him, which is strange."

Yoona is suddenly tense."How is it strange?"

"Well, Jaejoong said you'd already found whatever you're looking for."

"Finding something is different to finding something in the same state it used to be," she says, eyes burning into her plate. "Just because you've found it, that doesn't mean it's the same. That doesn't mean you have to stop looking."

Another frown embeds itself into Luhan's brow. "I don't understand... Are you saying your husband has changed?"

"Yes, I'm saying that." Yoona ducks her face, biting her lip until it hurts.

"Are you... okay?"

There it is.

There is the snap that shatters everything inside Yoona.

Are you okay?

Abruptly, Yoona slams her cutlery down, fists clenched. "No, I'm not okay," she whispers furiously, and then, like a flood, "You don't remember me, and it's not fair, Luhan, you don't remember anything about me, about us, how I was a horrible person to you, but I changed. You don't remember." She's crying now, her hand pressed to her chest, above where her heart is. "I hated you. I hated you for marrying me even though you knew you would only be miserable, I hated you for looking after me even though I didn't deserve it, I hated you when you were the father to our children that I never had. I hated you for being a good person." Yoona's chest heaves as she takes in Luhan's completely astounded face. "And you know, I called all these things 'hate' in my head, but really, I loved you. I still do. But you don't remember."

"Yoona—"

"Taemin is sick, he's dying, but you don't know that because you don't remember!" Yoona is yelling now, releasing everything she's bottled up for years. "And you don't even know your other son. Even if your memory hadn't gone to , you wouldn't know Jongin because you haven't been there for him in six years. I can't even ask you how you live with yourself, because you don't remember enough to feel guilty!"

Luhan walks around the table and grabs Yoona by the shoulders, his eyes wide. "You don't know what you're talking about," he says quietly, his voice a startling contrast to Yoona's tempest of emotion. "Listen to me. I'm not married to you, and I don't have any children. Yoona, you're scaring me."

Yoona clutches onto the front of his shirt, sobbing. "Luhan, why can't you see?" She looks right into his eyes but finds nothing but fear. No recognition, no reassurance, no familiarity. "You asked me if I'm okay, and I'm not, I'm really not. You're here right in front of me, and I thought after all these years, being with you again would make it all okay, but I'm—"

"Stop!" Luhan yells, pulling out of Yoona's grip and backing away. He lifts a hand, pointing at the door. "Leave."

The room's atmosphere crashes from a wild high to the lowest of lows as silence ensues. Yoona's eyes are locked on Luhan, but he refuses to look at her, so she refuses to move.

"Yoona, please." He sounds exhausted. "Just go."

 


A/N: (21/06/14) Helloooo, I finally got off my lazy and updated! Yes, I'm back! This is a shorter chapter than usual, but I didn't want to bore you guys + I managed to get everything I wanted into the chapter, anyway. For some reason, I always seem to be more motivated to write chapters when I'm busy, and I was actually going to finish this in the holidays, but I knew I'd probably be too lazy to do so. So now, I have an exam in two days, but I've finished this chapter because I missed the story terribly. I hope that in light of recent events, all you EXO and SNSD stans haven't lost faith or interest in our boys and girls. I don't blame you if you have, but it's at times like these that we should strive to be our strongest, so we can overcome future hardships-- this applies to other aspects of our lives, too, not just supporting our fandoms. Unexpected pep talk there, whoops. Also, I just reached 900 subscribers, which is a huge milestone for me, and makes me super happy. I'm grinning from ear to ear because of all you beautiful souls. Thank you!

Anyway, thanks for reading and being patient, I hope you enjoyed the update :)

(Oh btw, if you guys want to connect with me, I have instagram (@sarozu) and twitter (@mrsimplebuffalo))

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Fire_trek 275 streak #1
Chapter 16: Brilliant bravo, author nim, bravo 🎉 thank you for this story and all the emotional twists and turns that you put us through as an audience. I’d like to think they had a happily ever after, it brings me a peace of mind and heals my heart. Thank you again
Fire_trek 275 streak #2
Chapter 15: More tears 😭 and sadness, Yoona’s speech at the funeral was heartbreaking. But Luhan’s story to Jongin was beautiful and inspiring and real. Maybe not a happily ever after but a very special moment for him. I’m glad he knows his son and got his memories back. Can we please have a happy ending? Pls!
Fire_trek 275 streak #3
Chapter 14: I’m crying actual literal tears right now. How dare you write something so thought provoking and emotionally damaging for all of us to read? Poor little baby TAEMIN and poor little Jongin. Luhan has a son he doesn’t even know existed, dying and Yoona is nowhere to be found. Le sigh 😔
Fire_trek 275 streak #4
Chapter 13: Is he going to remember? That’s all I want to know and apparently my petition to let Yoona see TAEMIN worked! It’s sad how people talk when they think no one is listening… I hope my heart is not breaking by the end of this (even if I feel like it will)
Fire_trek 275 streak #5
Chapter 12: Luhan pls remember! Yoona just poured he heart out to you and you don’t even know. He can’t even remember poor lil baby TAEMIN! This is really breaking me up and we only have like 3/4 chapters left.
Fire_trek 275 streak #6
Chapter 11: I’m signing the “let Yoona see TAEMIN” petition right now. I know everything is messed up rn with Luhan’s amnesia but at least let her see her kid. I wish Luhan remembered them hopefully he remembers TAEMIN at least. This was such an emotional chapter, but such a good one
Fire_trek 275 streak #7
Chapter 10: Yes! Yes! And yes! Finally Yoona gets that emergency call. (Sad it had to happen but I’m glad it did) oh, Luhan I hope you can at least walk for TAEMIN’s sake. I can’t wait until the next chapter because I know that Yoona and Luhan will be reunited… please?
Fire_trek 275 streak #8
Chapter 9: Little TAEMIN being sick is not good for my little heart. I’m glad that Luhan is an attentive parent and is always on top of everything. I feel bad for him when he called Yoona and received a different message if only he would have called earlier. Also uncle Sehun! I wish he’d tell Yoona about their whereabouts.
Fire_trek 275 streak #9
Chapter 8: Omg Yoona confessed her love for Luhan and Jongin had his first steps and said his first word! So exciting! Now onto the sadness :( TAEMIN will only live to thirty? That’s heartbreaking and Luhan can’t let him leave the hospital for 7 months, that’s ridiculous. Also I’m not ready for chapter 9
Fire_trek 275 streak #10
Chapter 7: Yes, I saw all the SNSD members and some TVXQ members as well, I love little cameos like that. And wow, Luhan, way to leave the country without letting Yoona know only to find out that CF is inherited from both parents smh I hope he contacts her or something. And here I thought at the beginning of the story that Yoona was a bad parent and up and left him. I was totally wrong. I feel bad for both of them