The lump in my throat refused to go away. Tears that threatened not so long ago to fall were now spilling over and burning my cheeks. I tried to gasp for air but my lungs only filled with dust. This isn’t happening right now. That was all I kept on telling myself, a foolish promise. I felt myself drop down on my room floor, my carpet barely breaking the fall. I clenched a fist and punched my wall. The fury and anger in me was increasing with every second.

This isn’t happening right now, I heard myself promise again. Not to me, not to us. My love hadn’t just told me we had to break up. His parents had never found out about our forbidden love. They never thought to send him away to a Christian camp all the way in the country side of South Korea. No, this was not happening to me, to us, right now.

But as I opened my eyes I realized this was happening. There was no way for me to change this reality that had become of the beautiful once secret love that me and Seunghyun shared. All those times of him walking beside me in the streets and us having to avoid holding hands. We had to avoid any public display of affection during school as well. We wanted no one to find out for Seunghyun’s sake since his parents were heavily religious.

But the people at school soon easily found out. And there after we were mocked and bullied on school grounds and in town. Finally when Seunghyun was beaten up and left tied up in the boys bathroom was when the school called his parents. They explained everything to him.

And now he was being taken away from me and sent somewhere else.

My angel.                                                                                                                         

My love.

Was never coming back into my arms, into my life. And even if he would, he wouldn’t be the same.