Going Insane

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pOSIB1ONDis&feature=related

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The next day, Yunho, Changmin, Junsu, and Yoochun came to your house.

You looked sad and as if you had no motive in life.

“Are you… all right?” Junsu asked. Yoochun elbowed him *Does it look like she is?* Yunho asked, “Do you know about Jaejoong now?”

You numbly nodded.

“I’m sorry we didn’t tell you sooner but Jaejoong hyung told us not to.” Yoochun said.

“Why?” You mouthed.

“He didn’t want you to be hurt. You have no idea how much that guy cares for you.” Yunho said, as if that made this whole situation better. Worried, Changmin put a hand on your shoulder, “Are you okay?”

A tear fell down your face and stained the paper you were writing on, ‘Where is he now?

’ “We really don’t know that one.” Yoochun confirmed.

‘Is he…dead? Is that why he isn’t contacting me? Is that why he left? To die alone?’ You were becoming hysterical.

“No-“ Yunho grasped your wrist but you shook him off as you covered your face while you sobbed. “I told you!” Yoochun mouthed to Junsu who sighed *This is harder than I thought it would be.* You stood up *I’m going to go find him. I don’t care if he’s in another country or planet. I’ll find him and be by his side.* You headed for the door. Yunho and Changmin blocked it, “No, you can’t.” “Move.” You firmly mouthed. They shook their heads. Your bottom lip quivered as more tears fell down your face. You put your hands to your chest *I have to find him. He’s my other half. I can’t let him go like this.* “We promised to protect you.” Yunho whispered.

*I DON’T CARE ABOUT MY SAFETY! WITHOUT JAEJOONG OPPA, I DON’T CARE AT ALL!* You wanted to scream. You fell onto the ground and sobbed.

Junsu enveloped you in his arms and cried with you, “We want to find him, too. But we can’t. We’re sorry.”

You became sick. Not physically but emotionally. You searched everywhere for Jaejoong. He was nowhere to be seen. You even went into his house. The password, your birthday, was still the same but the house was colder and emptier than usual. You opened his closet. His clothes were gone. You bit your lip as tears streamed down your face *He really left.* You smoothed the covers of his bed and sat on it. You carefully laid down. You remembered falling asleep in his warm, safe arms. You cried hard until you fell asleep.

At night, you startled awake by him calling your name. *Jaejoong oppa!* You looked around the dark room. But no one was there. You looked down *Was it a dream?*

“Baby, you woke up?” The voice whispered.

You looked up with wide eyes *He’s here?* You scrambled out of bed and ran outside. But it was empty as usual. *Maybe he went to Midnight.* You ran out of the house and took a cab. You went inside the packed club.

“Hey, sweet thing.” Guys grinned at you but you ignored them. You saw the back of a familiar person *Jaejoong oppa?* Your eyes widened and you swam through the crowd to get to him. You ran into the empty hallway and looked side to side. But he was gone

. “Oh, ~~~~-ah.” Yoochun saw you, “What are you doing here?”

“I saw Jaejoong oppa.” You signed, not caring if he understood or not.

“What?” He was confused.

You searched the halls.

Yoochun grabbed your arm as you passed by, “What are you doing?” Frustrated, you pointed to a picture of Jaejoong on your phone. Yoochun understood and he was flabbergasted, “You saw Jaejoong?” You eagerly nodded. “That’s not possible.” *He said he wouldn’t come back.* Yoochun said. You shook your head and pointed to your ears *I heard him, too.* *Damn. She’s hallucinating. I knew she would go crazy.* Yoochun gently grasped your shoulders, “Why don’t I take you home?” You shook your head *I have to find Jaejoong oppa.* You pushed his hands off and went into Jaejoong’s office *I know he was here. I heard him. I saw him.*

Yoochun came in, “~~~~~~-ah-“

You looked out the window and under the desk.

Yoochun had enough. He grabbed your arms and shook some sense into you, “JAEJOONG HYUNG IS GONE! HE’S NEVER COMING BACK!”

Your arms dropped by your sides and you stared at him in horror and hurt.

*Crap.* Yoochun stepped back, “I-I’m sorry. I-“

You ran off with tears in your eyes. You didn’t stop until you reached an empty alley. You crouched down and sobbed into your arms *Jaejoong oppa, where are you? The truth hurts even more now.*

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