Poopie

by dulcee
Tags   comedy   jonghyun   key   minho   onew   shinee   taemin   | Report Content

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Poopie - main story image

Warning: Do not read if you can't handle poop jokes. Also, do not read if you're easily grossed out. /shrugs


 

“So, about your Farmville…”

 

I nervously gulped, my eyes twitching as I stared at Key.

 

“Farmville?” I squeaked. “What Farmville?”

 

His eyebrow arched as he stared straight into my eyes.

 

“I know no Farmville!” I desperately coughed out. “Wha- who’s Farmville? Is he stalking you? Is he a her? No- I meant, is it a her? Farmwille? What an odd name! Key, are you Farmville? Is Farmville-“

 

Key’s piercing gaze stopped my nervous ramblings. He stared at me with a face void of expression, before giving a small snort and an amused smile.

 

“Ah, Taemin, you’re so fun…”  He smiled thoughtfully.

 

This guy must be sadistic…

 


 

News Feed                                                                                    Top News ·  Most Recent

 

 Lee Jinki What’s brown and sticky?

about an hour ago · Comment

                  Kim Jonghyun er..poop?

                  57 minutes ago · Like

                  Choi Minho Jonghyun, don’t say poop. It’s feces.

                  57 minutes ago · Like · 3 people

                  Lee Jinki A stick!

                  55 minutes ago · Like

                  Kim Jonghyun Even I have a joke better than that.

                  53 minutes ago · Like · 4 people

 

 

Kim Jonghyun What’s red, black, and white?

56 minutes ago · Comment

                  Lee Jinki a meatball wrapped in a napkin in a black

                  trash bag?

                  54 minutes ago · Like

                  Choi Minho where’d that come from…?

                  53 minutes ago · Like

                  Kim Jonghyun A tattooed penguin!

                  53 minutes ago · Like

                  Choi Minho You guys…

                  52 minutes ago · Like · 6 people

 

 

Choi Minho I’m surrounded by idiots.

52 minutes ago · Comment · Manager likes this

                  Manager Me too…

                  50 minutes ago · Like

                  Choi Minho No, you’re one of the idiots.

                  47 minutes ago · Like · 3 people

                  Lee Jinki Hum… where’s Key?

                  49 minutes ago · Comment

                  Lee Jinki I think he’s with Taemin…

                  47 minutes ago · Like



 

“So…” Key stepped closer to me, the sadistic smile still on his face. “Sometimes, in the night, I hear noises in the restroom.”

 

How straightforward…

 

“Er…” I smiled widely. “What kind of… noises…?”

 

“It’s like someone is snickering…” He replied, his eyes distant. “Like giggling… a girlish giggling.”

 

Key, you… stupid human.

 

You did not just call my giggling girly.

 

“Oh no, Key dear! Are you alright? Are you sure you’re not hearing voices in your head?” I batted my eyelashes, looking up at him with a pouting expression.

 

Come on, Key! You can’t resist my beautiful aegyo!

 

“Taemin, that looks weird…” He frowned at my sudden aegyo.

 

“Are you sure it’s not the gurgling of the toilet water?” I asked, deciding to follow the “clueless and innocent” plan. He shook his head.

 

“Maybe it’s your poop that’s laughing!” I brightly exclaimed my fake smile starting to droop. Maybe a funny statement would get me off the hook. Key’s eyebrow twitched and I could easily sense his fury.

 

Uh- oh.

 

“Oh, and I’ve got some pictures as well,” He brightly exclaimed, reaching into his pocket.

 

“I…” I started to say. Taemin. Think! Think!

 

“I gotta go potty!” I quickly burst out of the room and ran to my safe haven- the restroom.

 

What am I going to do?



 

Choi Minho Someone tell Taemin to get out of the restroom…

47 minutes ago · Comment

View all 5 comments

                  Kim Jonghyun oh, he’s in the restroom?

                  47 minutes ago · Like

                  Choi Minho I really gotta go pee!

                  45 minutes ago · Like

                  Lee Jinki You can go pee outside! There’s trees…

                  44 minutes ago · Like · 8 people

                  Manager Yeah, trees are great coverage!

                  44 minutes ago · Like

                  Choi Minho gross, you guys…

                  42 minutes ago · Like

 

 

Choi Minho No, seriously. What is Taemin doing in the restroom?

40 minutes ago · Comment

View all 6 comments

                  Kim Jonghyun well, I’m at work right now, so I dunno.

                  37 minutes ago · Like

                  Lee Jinki Maybe he has digestion problems?

                  35 minutes ago · Like

                  Kim Jonghyun or he’s constipated!

                  34 minutes ago · Like · 3 people

                  Manager I’m right next to Jonghyun, and he just smiled when he

                  typed up the word constipated.

                  33 minutes ago · Like

                  Kim Jonghyun Did not!

                  33 minutes ago · Like

                  Lee Jinki Jonghyun… so cruel to Taemin!

                  32 minutes ago · Like

 

 

Choi Minho It’s been half an hour already…

30 minutes ago · Comment · Kim Jonghyun likes this

                  Kim Jonghyun I feel for you, Minho. Just hold it in!

                  29 minutes ago · Like

                  Lee Jinki Minho, fighting!

                  28 minutes ago · Like · 11 people

                  Choi Minho I… I really need to go…

                  28 minutes ago · Like

 

 

Lee Jinki Oh, maybe Key harassed him!

29 minutes ago · Comment · Manager likes this

                  Choi Minho I really need to gooooo asdfhjlkgasd

                  27 minutes ago · Like

 

 

Manager Poor Minho… just go outside!

27 minutes ago · Comment · Kim Jonghyun and Lee Jinki like this

                  Choi Minho And what if someone sees?

                  27 minutes ago · Like

                  Manager disguise yourself!

                  26 minutes ago · Like

                  Choi Minho No thanks.

                  26 minutes ago · Like

 

 

Lee Jinki Maybe we should bring Taemin to the doctor one day…

24 minutes ago · Comment

                  Kim Jonghyun yeah, for his long bowel movements!

                  22 minutes ago · Like

 

 

Lee Jinki Oh, I have a list on the different kinds of poop!

20 minutes ago · Comment · Kim Jonghyun likes this

                  Kim Jonghyun I want to see!

                  19 minutes ago · Like

                  Choi Minho okay, fine, guys! Just ignore me… that’s cool too…

                  19 minutes ago · Like · 3 people

                  Manager Poor Minho.

                  17 minutes ago · Like

 


 

List of different kinds of poopies!

by Lee Jinki on January 29, 2011 at 1:32 pm

 

Ghost Poopie: The kind where you feel the Poopie come out, but there's no poopie in the toilet.

 

Clean Poopie:
The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.

 

Wet Poopie:
The kind where you wipe your butt fifty times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you don't runie them with a stain.

 

Second Wave Poopie:
The kind that happens when you're done poopie-ing and you've pulled your pants up to your knees, and you realize you have to poopie some more.

 

Turtle Poopie:
The kind of poopie that pops out a little and goes back in a few times before it finallly comes out

 

Pop-a-Vein-in-your-Forehead-Poopie:
The kind where you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.

 

Lincoln Log Poopie:
The kind of Poopie that is so huge you're afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the plunger.

 

Gas-sy Poopie:
The kind where it's so noisy, everyone within earshot is giggling!

 

Corn Poopie:
(Self explanatory)

 

Gee-I-Wish-I-Could-Poop Poopie:
The kind where you want to Poopie, but all you do is it on the toilet and fart a few times.

 

Spinal Tap Poopie
That's the kind when it hurts so badly coming out, you swear it was leaving you sideways.

 

Wet Cheeks Poopie(The Power Dump):
The kind that comes out of your butt so fast, your butt cheeks get spashed with water.

 

Liquid Poopie:
The kind where liquid shoots you of your butt and splashes all over the toilet bowl.

 

The Surprise Poopie:
You are not even at the toilet, because you are sure you are about to fart, but, OOPS---a Poopie!

 

The Dangling Poopie:
This Poopie refuses to drop into the toilet even though you know you are done poopie-ing. You just pray that a shake or two will cut it loose. 

 

Comment · Like · Share

                  Choi Minho This is gross, Onew…

                  17 minutes ago · Like · 6 people

                  Lee Jinki but it’s funny!

                  16 minutes ago · Like

                  Manager Sadly, I laughed…

                  16 minutes ago · Like

                  Choi Minho You guys aren’t making the situation any better… you’re

                  just making it worse…

                  15 minutes ago · Like



 

Choi Minho I really need to go. Now! I’m going to die!

16 minutes ago · Comment

View all 5 comments

                  Kim Jonghyun there’s plastic bags under the kitchen sink!

                  15 minutes ago · Like · 4 people

                  Choi Minho I’m not going to pee into a plastic bag.

                  15 minutes ago · Like

                  Kim Jonghyun … the bowls?

                  14 minutes ago · Like · 6 people

                  Choi Minho WE EAT IN THE BOWLS.

                  13 minutes ago · Like

                  Kim Jonghyun good point! It would be pretty disgusting!

                  11 minutes ago · Like

 

 

Choi Minho De we have a sledge hammer? I’m going to break down the door.

13 minutes ago · Comment · Choi Minho likes this

                  Lee Jinki Did you knock on the door?

                  13 minutes ago · Like

                  Choi Minho no one answered.

                  12 minutes ago · Like

                  Lee Jinki Did you ask Key?

                  12 minutes ago · Like

                  Choi Minho Key disappeared!

                  10 minutes ago · Like

 

 

Kim Jonghyun Let’s all sing a final mourning song for Minho…

8 minutes ago · Comment · Manager likes this

                  Manager tralala…

                  7 minutes ago · Like

 


 

God!

 

What have I done to deserve this?!

 

I, Taemin, have lived a beautiful life until today.

 

My jaw dropped when I saw the list of different kinds of poopies, which Onew wrote. His humor was getting strange these days. I nervously scanned the most recent Facebook posts by Minho. He had knocked on the restroom door a few times already- last time, he tried to break the door down.

 

I’m so sorry, Minho, But I value my life more than your need to go pee!

 

Now I had two people who were trapping me in the restroom.

 

Key, who was… a lurk, who knows about my secret.

 

Pish posh.

 

And Minho, who needs to go pee.

 

“Taemin! Open up! I need to go pee!” Minho’s frustrated growl reached my ears. I scooted back to sit next to the toilet.

 

What did I ever do to you, God?!



 

A/N

asdfhjl; I'm such a horrible author, always updating late... Well, I have a somewhat good reason. I'm actually working on two new stories- ROMANCEEEEE! 

One is His Cactus, Her Love, ft. Myungsoo of Infinite.

The other is Time Machine, ft Junhyung of Beast.

Heh... poopie.

 

If practice makes perfect, and no one's perfect... then why practice?

/shrugs 

I love youuu! Yes, you.

.

Comments

Comments are moderated. Keep it cool. Critical is fine, but if you're rude to one another (or to us), we'll delete your stuff. Have fun and thanks for joining the conversation!

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KoreanBarbie () says about chapter 20:
I might tell Key the secret~~!

KoreanBarbie () says about chapter 9:
Bling reminds me of silver. My second favorite colour.

KoreanBarbie () says about chapter 7:
I keep coming back to re-read this. I <3 this so much!

cantiqas () says about chapter 5:
i love the concept! this is hilariousssssssss!!!

OhSunyoung36 () says:
what does Onew have? a really big pair of hands ==

ochan_desu () says about chapter 9:
Lolz. It's fun to read! XD

I will read again tomorrow or the day after :3

PerfectlyImperfectxX () says about chapter 22:
And I quote Manager, "Sadly, I laughed"
LOL. It was disgusting, but true. The way you had, um, wrote it made it so hilarious XD

Seleni () says:
This is too good! Must have taken a lot of efforts on your part for the whole thing. It kept me laughing and it lifted my mood a lot during one of my difficult examinations. Thank you so much :-) <3

himchanismylife () says about chapter 9:
Going reminds me of Key. And shinning stuff! XD

himchanismylife () says about chapter 8:
Me again~ Again I feel honored to be mentioned in this and I also love Taemin! But I do have a question: Do you just randomly choose users?

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