Confessions

by dulcee
Tags   comedy   jonghyun   key   minho   onew   shinee   taemin   | Report Content

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Confessions - main story image

 

It’s Manager here!

 

The SHINee boys are so troublesome… I grow more wrinkles everyday because of them!

 

They require so. Much. Care.

 

All the fans scream about how they’re so perfect, handsome, delicious, and all that… well, from my point of view, they’re just… absolutely frustrating sometimes.

 

Plus they abuse me all the time!

 

Eep.

 

Not to mention, they’re really, really, really scary sometimes!

 

They blackmail me all the time!

 

Yesterday, they sent me a package full of spiders…

 

Boo hoo hoo… Why is my life so miserable?

 

Yesterday, I slept with my lucky stuffed rabbit, Mr. Doink.

 

Sniff.

 

You should feel sorry for me…

 

So scary…

 


 

News Feed                                                                                 Top News · Most Recent

 

Kim Kibum hey Manager, bring chicken. Dorm. Within a minute.

about an hour ago · Comment · 8 people like this

View all 54 comments

            Manager …wuh.

            57 minutes ago · Like · 6 people

            Lee Jinki chicken! Manager, please hurry up.

            57 minutes ago · Like

            Kim Jonghyun Onew’s going to bite my leg… hurry up and

            bring that chicken!

            55 minutes ago · Like

            Manager I’m not your slave!

            54 minutes ago · Like

            Kim Kibum Uh, yes, you are.

            51 minutes ago · Like

           Lee Jinki so hungry.

            48 minutes ago · Like

 

Kim Jonghyun oh god. Onew’s turning into a cannibal. AND IT’S

ALL MANAGER’S FAULT!

41 minutes ago · Comment · Like

            Manager…what? Wait! No!

            40 minutes ago · Like

            Kim Jonghyunbecause of you, Onew bit my arm!

            41 minutes ago · Like

            Manager that’s not my fault….

            40 minutes ago · Like

            Kim Kibum Don’t worry, I still have that pic of him wearing

            his hot pink Mr. Doink boxers.

            38 minutes ago · 5 people like this

            Lee Jinki Jonghyun, your skin is gross and salty!

            36 minutes ago  · Like

            Kim Jonghyun that’s just wrong…

            6 minutes ago · 3 people like this

            Choi MinhoYou guys are disgusting…

            35 minutes ago · Like

 

 

Manager asdfghkl;’ TIME FOR A MANAGER’S CONFESSIONS.

35 minutes ago · Comment · Like

            Kim Jonghyun what is that…

            35 minutes ago · Like

            Kim Kibum probably a rant old people do when they

            realize how worthless they are.

            34 minutes ago · 2 people like this

           

Manager HOW DARE YOU CALL ME AN OLD MAN. Kim Kibum.

33 minutes ago · Comment · Like

            Kim Kibum I’m being an honest person!

            33 minutes ago · Like

            Manager I’m a handsome and sophisticated guy!

            32 minutes ago · Like

            Kim Jonghyun Yeah, I’m sure a handsome and sophisticated

            guy would still wet his bed and sleep with a stuffed rabbit.

            31 minutes ago · 4 people like this

            Kim Kibum broskis for life, Kim Jonghyun.

            31 minutes ago · Like

 

Manager hey… Kim Kibum. CLEAN UP YOUR ROOM. Oh man… I don’t

even know how you even live in your room…

31 minutes ago · Comment · 3 people like this

View all 28 comments

            Kim Kibum I’m just talented like that.

            30 minutes ago · Like

            Kim Jonghyun yeah, be jelly.

            30 minutes ago · Like

            Lee Jinki Jelly is really yummy…

            29 minutes ago · 7 people like this

            Manager Yeah, it is.

            28 minutes ago · Like

            Manager THAT’S NOT THE POINT. CLEAN.

            YOUR. ROOM. UP… please?

            28 minutes ago · Like

 

Kim Kibum Guess what guys~ I found Manager’s diary!

about an hour ago · Comment · 4 people like this

View all 8 comments

            Manager HEY. THAT’S RESTRICTED INFO. GIVE IT BACK.

            NOW. Trespassing is bad!

            27 minutes ago · Like

            Kim Jonghyun read it!

            27 minutes ago · Like

            Choi Minho you guys…

            26 minutes ago · Like

            Kim Kibum Entry number 1! Today, I took Mr. Doink

            to the park. He likes swings, so I helped push him on the

            swings. He was happy. He smiled. I likey.

            26 minutes ago · Like

            Kim Jonghyun

            25 minutes ago · Like

            Choi Minho

            25 minutes ago · Like

           

Manager At least I sleep with a stuffed rabbit! Onew sleeps

with a human- sized stuffed chicken leg!

23 minutes ago · Comment · Like

            Kim Kibum No one cares.

            22 minutes ago · 3 people like this

 

Manager… fine, be that way! Just gonna stand there and watch

me burn?

22 minutes ago · Comment · Like

 

Manager Forever alone.

20 minutes · Comment · 38 people like this

 

Lee Jinki Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team?

20 minutes ago · Comment · Like

            Choi Minho I would kick her off the soccer team too.

            19 minutes ago · Like

            Kim Jonghyun So cruel, Choi Minho… why deny a pretty

            girl?

            18 minutes ago · Like

            Lee Jinki because she ran away from the ball!

            17 minutes ago · Like

            Kim Jonghyun … aight.

            17 minutes ago · Like

 

Manager WOW. WHY ARE YOU GUYS LEAVING ME ALONE JUST

TO PAY ATTENTION TO ONEW’S STUPID JOKE.

16 minutes ago · Comment · Like

            Lee Jinki It’s not stupid…

            15 minutes ago · Like

 

Lee Jinki my friend turned into a vegetarian! Maybe I should

become one too!

13 minutes ago · Comment · Like

            Kim Kibum Someone call the doctor… Onew’s gone

            insane!

            13 minutes ago · Like

            Kim Jonghyun gasp. choke choke choke.

            13 minutes ago · Like

            Choi Minho you're going to be a vegetarian?

            13 minutes ago · Like

            Lee Jinki Yeah! We don’t hate meat or anything!

            11 minutes ago · Like

            Choi Minho I reccomend leeks, like Key. But seriously,

            vegetarian?

            11 minutes ago · 6 people like this

            Lee Jinki we hate vegetables! That’s why we’re killing

            them off!

            10 minutes ago · 16 people like this

 

Choi Minho Lee Jinki, sometimes I wonder about your way of

thinking…

9 minutes ago · Comment · 9 people like this

            Kim Kibum Same here…

            9 minutes ago · Like

            Kim Jonghyun Glad I’m not the only one…

            8 minutes ago · Like

            Lee Jinki what?

            6 minutes ago · Like

 

Manager Hello?

5 minutes ago · Comment · Like

 

Manager OOPS I DID IT AGAIN

5 minutes ago · Comment · Like

 

Manager BABY HIT ME ONE MORE TIME

5 minutes ago · Comment · Like

            Kim Kibum where’s the barf bag?

            5 minutes ago · 3 people like this

 

 

Manager….

4 minutes ago · Comment · Like

 

 

Lee Jinki My mind is clear of everything!

4 minutes ago · Comment · Kim Kibum likes this

            Kim Kibum that means you forgot something.

            3 minutes ago · 3 people like this

            Lee Jinki ... eh.

            3 minutes ago · Like

 

 

Manager boo hoo… ITS ALL ONEW’S FAULT.

4 minutes ago · Comment · Like

Lee Jinkiwhat did I do?

            4 minutes ago · Like

            Kim Kibum don’t bully Onew, you dumb potato.

            3 minutes ago · Like

            Kim Jonghyun yeah, lay off him.

            3 minutes ago · Like

            Choi Minho what did Onew do?

            3 minutes ago · Like

 

Kim Jonghyun Lee Jinki, he’s just being a jealous prat rat. Don’t

worry!

3 minutes ago · Comment · 3 people like this

ManagerI’m not being a jealous prat!

            3 minutes ago · Like

 

Manager I BLAME YOU, ONEW.

3 minutes ago · Comment · Like

            Lee Jinki oh that rhymes with “I choose you, Pikachu!”

            2 minutes ago · 5 people like this

           

 

Kim Kibum  where’s Taemin?

2 minutes ago · Comment · Like

            Choi Minho I think he has work to do…

            2 minutes ago · Like

            Kim Kibum That kid always disappears somewhere

            with his laptop…

            about a minute ago · Like

            Kim Jonghyun Now that you mention it…

            about a minute ago · Like

            Kim Kibum How suspicious.

            about a minute ago · Like

 


 

Inklings and Notes

 from dulcee 

 

Subscribers are loved. Comments are loved. Everytime I look at the comments I smile stupidly.  :9

I'm such a slow updater... ⊙﹏⊙

Also, congrats to those who found the message! To those who don't have a clue to what it is, you had to highlight it. Mhmm. I'm going to take it down now since I can't fit all your names.

I am not getting any of this mol stuff in chem. asdfghjkl;. ahhhh.

I've had a bunch of requests for a Onew's Happy Hour 2. Do you guys want another?

I mean, I have a bunch of lame puns and jokes all in my head...

I should start a Pun Club. Or a Lame Jokes Club.

I really should...

 

Boycott shampoo! Demand REAL poo!

(╥﹏╥) Sorry... that was so... lame...

 

I love you!

Comments

Comments are moderated. Keep it cool. Critical is fine, but if you're rude to one another (or to us), we'll delete your stuff. Have fun and thanks for joining the conversation!

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CielDor () says about chapter 1:
plot twist: instead of a Facebook taemin secretly has a tumblr.

KoreanBarbie () says about chapter 20:
I might tell Key the secret~~!

KoreanBarbie () says about chapter 9:
Bling reminds me of silver. My second favorite colour.

KoreanBarbie () says about chapter 7:
I keep coming back to re-read this. I <3 this so much!

cantiqas () says about chapter 5:
i love the concept! this is hilariousssssssss!!!

OhSunyoung36 () says:
what does Onew have? a really big pair of hands ==

ochan_desu () says about chapter 9:
Lolz. It's fun to read! XD

I will read again tomorrow or the day after :3

PerfectlyImperfectxX () says about chapter 22:
And I quote Manager, "Sadly, I laughed"
LOL. It was disgusting, but true. The way you had, um, wrote it made it so hilarious XD

Seleni () says:
This is too good! Must have taken a lot of efforts on your part for the whole thing. It kept me laughing and it lifted my mood a lot during one of my difficult examinations. Thank you so much :-) <3

himchanismylife () says about chapter 9:
Going reminds me of Key. And shinning stuff! XD

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