Minki or known as Ren wonder around the campus when he passed by the school hallway,,he got in an exclusive school in Seoul,,he was walking with all stares stabbing his pretty face, murmuring,,he was used to it,,he was the talk everyday, walking lifeless, face expressionless with his eyes full of fierce, few steps left and his mind was all set and relieved, chest stop beating too fast,,he was like that every single minute,,he stopped few steps away from his class room,,15 minutes more before his first class will start,,suddenly a tear escaped from his eyes,,holding back as he wiped that single crystal and looked away from people for a while and released his heavy breath...

"hey!! choi minki,,come here,,,a guy from not so far from his home room called gesturing the pretty blonde guy to come over that direction,,he obeyed,,looking down his feet as he lift them up to step foreword...

He reach the bunch of guys, laughing and waiting for the leader to do something,,it was a routine everyday actually so it isn't new to everyone,,actually, they were waiting for it,,,The rude guy who called grab ren immediately as he went near infront of him,,,Ren was just quiet and no reaction at all,,no single word came from his heart-shape lips,,,he look at one direction as the rude guy, without hesitation, he sat him on his lap..the pretty blonde boy didn't refuse at all,,,the guy sniff ren's scent making a shiver to his back neck..

Ren didn't move,all he had to do is to clench his fist holding tight on his uniform's hem while he was recieving kisses on his neck,,other students just watch enjoying every moves of the rude guy..you are so pretty baby,,you never failed to catch my attention,,the rude guy whispered in his ear,,he shut his eyes,,feeling the pleasure that the rude guy is given,,The guy moved as his hand roam inside ren's uniform,,,publicly,,infront of other students who were just murmuring around, the guy turn to face him and lean him to the table assulting the heart shape lips of him entering inside, he didn't mind,,what to embarrass,,it happens every single day...

The rude guy stood up as soon as he finished his own business over ren,,we will continue later,,,he said as the bell rang signalling the start of the class,,He stood up fixing his pony tail and his uniform,,,all still glaring at his direction towards his room where it was just few steps from the table he was layed...ignoring all his classmates, he went straight to his seat located at the back most area of the room it was near the window,,he stared outside not minding what his classmates was chatting,,it was a bad words,,he listen but then he shrug and just take it oput from the other side of his ear, the fact that he can't do anything to make it right, it's all the saem in his everyday life...everything about him is wrong but he can't correct it,,,he was called everyone's ..

He remembers when he was too young around 10 years old, he was sitting on the living room when his mother introduce her new boyfriend to him,,he was happy that time, he thought of having a father finally because he never saw his biological father,,,but then all that happiness faded,,one day when his mom was gone for work and he was left by his step father, drunk, he sited at one corner afraid that the drunk man will get angry if he gets in his way,,the step-father called him gesturing to go near, as soon as he went infront,,he was forced to drink at young age and after,, touch were made,,,he tried to back off but the father pulled him and starts to undress him and touch every sensitive part of him,,,he cried and beg to stop but he was ignored,,,

"choi Minki,the teacher called interrupting what in his mind,,,he looked at the front, to the teacher's direction,,read page 105,,the teacher commanded..he followed and turn his book to the said page and start to read it,,,he read it fast and went to look back outside after reading,,the teacher didn't mind,

After few hours on their lesson,,the bell rang,,off class already,,he stayed to where he was sitting,,,waiting for the room to be emptied, he hates crowd, he hates people especially in that school, his first teacher came in,,,she smiled to him,,but he didn't replied,,he looked down,,

"It's hard right? the teacher said implying on something ren can't understand,,does this teacher knows something? does this teacher just want to ,,does this teacher is really concerned about him..this are the questions he wants to form to his lips but he never did,,,.he nodded in response to nothing looking straight ton the teacher's eyes...

"i know,,,the teacher said standing up and pat ren's head,,,bear with it, everything will be alright, you are strong i know that,,,she added and left...he sighed deeply..

He pack his things, putting his random things that was layed on his desk and exited the room,,he walked out the campus and walk to refresh before going home, before going to hell actually,,he was living in a big mansion but it was like hell..he continued walking thinking of random past....

From the day he was touch by his step father, he lived far away from other people,didn't able to have friends and experience his youth,,everyday he was locked, his mom knows nothing, and everyday his father sneak in his room and molested the innocent him, he continue on begging everyday but his voice can't be heard to the ert step father,,,

Tears fell down his cheeks everytime he remembers everything in the past,,he lived in his nightmare,,he lived in his lifeless world,,he wiped off his tears with his palms,,he bump to random passer by,,,

"hey! are you blind? a student like him wearing different uniform from other school yelled at him,,he didn't responded or even asked for forgiveness, sorry is not in her vocabulary,,,that was the craziest thing he will do if he says sorry,,he doesn't believe in every sorry he heard it is really hard for him even to spell out that word,,,

When he was young,,his mom always say sorry to everyone, beg for forgiveness but then her sorry was useless,,she often mentioned it to his step father too until one day her mom hugged him and say the word sorry, he was innocent by then doesn't know what sorry is for, after that her mom never came back, she was gone but he waited everyday,for some reason,,he doesn't know,,all he knows, there is a great war the night before he was left behind by his own mother...

"Yahhhh live him alone,,three boys came in rescue as he was pinned on his place,,he look at the three familiar boys, they were from the same school he was in,,face never gives expression,,he didn't say any word as his foot made some steps, turning back to his saviors, he look at the boys with fierce eyes,,sharp that could stab them..

"waahhh he is really mean,,he doesn't know what is thank you right? minhyun, aron maybe we could teach him what is thank you and what is sorry....baekho said irately,,running to him,,grabbing the hand to face him..

"Ren stared more sharply,,,yahhh,,we helped you out, don't you know how to talk? baekho said,,,

"Then?, an simple response, the only word that came to ren's mouth,,

"huh,,,haisst,,,baekho felt pissed off with the attitude,,,minhyun and aron came to the rescue and hold baekho on the arm pulling him away,,,you can go now,,minhyun uttered giving a smile to ren..

Ren continuously walked putting his hands on his pant's pocket leaving the rest,,A car stopped infront of him when he was about to cross the road,,,he looked away from that car and bit his nails,,he was nervous, shaking, still,,

"ren? the guy inside driving the car approach...he lock his neyes to the car door,,get in,,the guy commanded him,,,

He gets in the car without any questions,,he knows what will happen next,,he was a slave, he was a follower,,he needs to follow everything,,he doesn't have the right for himself too,,he was biting his nails all the way,,until they stopped infront of a hotel,,he didn't bother to ask, he exited the car and followed the guy who brought him in the said place...he walked passing all the employess who was staring at him,,,"he's so pretty..murmurs all over the hallway especially girls, giving compliments,,it was just murmur but enough for him to hear,,he didn't mind,,he hates his face being so pretty,,,,but who knows what he was doing in that place.

There was a time when he tried to slash his face to be ugly, it was 3 years ago when he first entered the mansion, he was 14 years old by that time and became the collatral for his step-father's debt but his lucky fate saved him,,a maid came to him, his face was bleeding but the wound never left a scar,,with his frustrationas an innocent young boy, he died his hair and make it longer than a usual cut of a guy..

They stopped in a private room, without knocking, he entered and saw the rude guy from the school,,he knows, he was expecting it,,,he removed his outside uniform as soon as the door was locked,,,the boy gave a glass of water to him and a capsule,,he willingly accepted it and throw it in his throat gulping the water on his glass and put it down,,sitting on the bed, he was waiting for the capsule to make an effect to his body and soon his body was reacting,,he rubbed his neck and his upper clothes..bit by bit his eyesight became dizzy,,he felt like he was floating and his body was craving for something...he shook his head to clear his vision, but then all he can see is a circle that makes his surrounding swirl,,not too long enough, he felt someone's lips flatted in his chest,,he smirked in pleasure, he was high already,,he was in heaven, he was in cloud nine...

He didn't waste any time when the capsule fully captured his mind and body,,he went down to look at the guy infront of him and his lips, he was hungry for something. craving for the thing he hated the most, the touch that makes his self miserable, the guy left a smirked before placing his hand to the blonde boy's soft skin,,placing kisses all over his,,,Ren moaned as he felt the pleasure,,the heaven,,,he doesn't know how to say thank you but he was thankful that the capsule was created,,he was thankful to it, it was a big help for him to do what he doesn't want to do,,being molested everyday, he needs strength, he needs to protect himself from hating his own self....

Few hours later,,he woke up with his swollen lips and body aching that much,,he woke up under a white sheets and blanket that was covering his half body,,he sat up holding his head who was then having in pain,,,he immediately grab his bag and took out his medicine for head ache,,he always bring the medicine with him,,the capsule he took left a side effect on him,,which is having a severe headache,,it was a drug, he knows it but he never refuse to take it,,it was his saviour,,,He dressed himself after washing up his face and look at the mirror,,,he then exited the hotel.

And soon he arrived the mansion where he live, the hell he called, he was alone by the time he reach inside,,he layed down his bed as soon as he step into it,,,curling his body and wrapped fully on the blanket, feeling cold,,it was one another effect of the drug he took,coldness on the body,,he closed his eyes and felt the tiredness that makes him fall asleep...

He felt a warm hug, a hug of comfort,, it was too mild and soft,,different form his master's touch,,he moaned as sobs escaped from his throat,,he felt at ease, the warm hug made his body relaxed for a while,,he soften his body,,,he opened his eyes and turned to the other side,, but it was empty, he was still wrapped with his blanket, the same position, room was dim,,he sat up and hugged his knees up,,tears fell to his cheeks,,he cried soundly but who cares, no one will able to hear and even so there is, they won't mind checking if he is alright or not, he never recieved concern to anyone even he was fell sick...

One day when he was young he got colds since he was lock outside by his step-father for refusing for the request to have with him,,,he slept outside with the cold winter until his mom came back from work at mid night and he was finally get in his room, he never tell anything to his mother, she won't believe anyway becausehe tried it once and was just scolded, her mom didn't mind him,,he was sick that time,,alone, no one cared for him even his own mother,,he take good care of himself, took medicine that he found on his drawer, that he doesn't even know if the medicine is for fever or cough or colds,,but he pushed it in his throat without water and fell down to his bed,,the next morning he woke up, the fever was gone, luckily,,

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..first chappy,,please subscribe if you like this,,im trying my best to come up with this,,,italic paragraph means the past he remembered..