Random Texts Part 15
The Wonderful World of Kpop Randomness
arirang radio host: *translating everything topp dogg says from korean to english*
36 minutes later……….
kidoh: *in perfect english* i lived in australia for 3 years.
arirang radio host: WHY DIDNT YOU TELL US THAT EARLIER
kidoh: ……………*still in english* sorry.
'hey what's your otp'
i put my hands in my pockets casually, giving a nervous laugh.
‘w-what’s an otp’ i stutter. i take my hand out of my pocket to brush
my hair back smoothly. a list falls out of the pocket.
it begins to roll. it is going on seven blocks now. i begin to cry.
do u ever do something mildly impolite like not give a nice goodbye or
not hold a door and spend the rest of the day thinking about it
imagine seohyun saying that her favorite vixx member is hongbin
so n refuses to speak to him for 3 weeks
Does anyone else reply to a text mentally but not physically
then forgets to actually reply all together or is that just me
If I punch myself and it hurts, am I too weak or too strong?
I live for the applesauce
*applause
I know what I’m about son
oh sehun is the type of guy to politely open the door for you
and then smack your on the way in
there’s always those neighbour countries that sort of hate each other
like new zealand and australia, britain and france,
the rest of the world and america
i remember song lyrics from my favorite songs 5 years ago
but i don’t remember what i learned in school yesterday
- child I am babysitting:How do you get grownup teeth?
- me:You lose your baby teeth
- child I am babysitting:they fall out!?
- me:they fall out
- child I am babysitting:do you still have your baby eyes?
- me:
- child I am babysitting:or did they fall out
- me:
- me:
- me:you keep the same eyes all your life
- child I am babysitting:*touches eyes* whoa
siwon in fics: super filthy rich dark mysterious mafia boss
who runs a gay nightclub and has ppl assassinated
siwon in real life: collects refrigerator magnets and talks to his dog
- Idol:tweets
- Fans:what
- Translator:tweets
- Fans:ohh AW THAT'S CUTE
- .
- Jonghyun:tweets
- Fans:what
- Translator:tweets
- Fans:what
- .
- Onew:tweets
- Fans:what
- Translator:what
- Fans:what
The year is 2060. iPhone 842 is released. The screen touches you
row row row your boat gently away from me
Merrily merrily merrily merrily please just in leave
my mom just looked at a spider at our kitchen and yelled
“why do you have to be like that? you dont need that
many eyes or legs you need to stop”
seduce me with ur history knowledge
Long ago, the four nations lived together in harmony. Then, everything changed when the Fire Nation attacked.
today these two kids in my math class were hitting each other with pencils
and my teacher glared at them and said “could you try to be a little more mature?”
one of them screamed “TAXES” and punched the other kid in the face
if u like drama and being miserable: exo, snsd
if u liked big time rush: got7
if u like mess+having a good time: block b
if u like useless teenage boys+dancing: bts
if u like decent music and moon jongup: bap
if u like happiness: shinee
if u like waiting: f(x)
if uve been a kpop fan too long and theres jst no going back,
its just too late for you, Lord rest ur soul: Super junior and Big Bang
- MBC:*bans lipsyncing*
- 77% of kpop groups:i came out to have a good time
and i’m honestly feeling so attacked right now
STOP SCROLLING AND TAKE A LOOK AT THIS CUTE-
PHOTO OF AKDONG MUSICIAN WHEN THEY WERE tiny
you’re the chyea to my yongguk
the high note to my daehyun
the americano to my himchan
the sassiness to my youngjae
the socks to my zelo
the burger to my jongup
- God:you have to die so their sins can be forgiven
- Jesus:
- Jesus:
- Jesus:
- Jesus:i just came here to have a good time and i'm honestly feeling so attacked right now
ctrl+alt+delete my face
my life is one part “wait” and another part “what”
i broke up with my gym
we were just not working out
What do strippers do when they’re on their period
What do female astronauts do when they’re on their period
what do homeless women do when they get their period
what did tribeswomen do when they got their period
what do fictional characters do when they get their period
We never even solved the first one
anyone notice how all of got7 have names that start with j
jackson, jr, jb, jark, joungjae, jugyeom, jamjam weird man
tips on how to properly enter my room:
- do not
*in the tune of SHINee’s Ring Ding Dong*
hongbing bong bing bing bong bing binggy bing bong bing bing bing
do you remember when you were a kid and the doorbell rang
you would run and see who it was, now i just run to my room instead
you isolate yourself in your room bc you’re hating your family but den u hungry
the roof is not my son but i will raise it
my last words will probably be sarcastic
my uncle used to be one of those people who drove dead people to cemeteries and such
then he became a taxi driver and the person he was driving tapped his shoulder to ask a question and my uncle screamed really loud
IT’S BACK
I’m sure that’s what he thought.
- me at home:i've been wearing the same jeans and band shirt for the last three weeks but it still smells alright so i'll keep wearing it
- me going away:I NEED ONE SHIRT FOR EACH DAY AND EXTRA IN CASE IT GETS DIRTY AND THE SAME AMOUNT OF JEANS AND SOCKS ACTUALLY NO I'LL NEED EXTRA SOCKS IN CASE IT FLOODS AND DOUBLE THE UNDERWEAR IN CASE OF DISASTER AND ONE NICE OUTFIT IN CASE I GET INVITED TO TEA WITH THE QUEEN
The sad life of an international fan
Korean fan:omg I wish I was sitting closer to the stage
International fan:the stream was lagging (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
Korean fan:Picked up my CD from the store today (◡‿◡✿)
International fan:lol paypal verification
Korean fan:le opens CD
International fan:le checks mail everyday for their cds to come
Korean fan:ᄏ ᄏ ᄏ ᄏ oppa 너무 재밌다
International fan:are the subs out yet
Korean fan:noona or someone younger?
International fan:does being 8000km apart bother you or
OH IM SORRY MOM DID THE MIDDLE OF MY SENTENCE
INTERRUPT THE BEGINNING OF YOURS?!?!!?/1/!?!?1/!/1?
no mom i already have a job its called being hardcore
what if our use of emojis gradually becomes so extensive
that we actually circle back to writing in hieroglyphics
what she says: no
what she really means: no
women are so complicated how are us men supposed to understand them
Technically speaking there is a lot of food in this house.
However, none of it is sweet and none of it is microwaveable.
Therefore, there is no food in this house.
- me:im so tired, i could collapse into bed and sleep for a year..
- me:gets in bed
- me:how was earth created
- me:who made microwaves
- me:how does the internet even work
- me:i'm hungry
- me:feels bad about something i did 4 years ago
- me:remembers 73 unfinished tasks
- me:too tired to sleep
movie theater attendant: ma’am this movie is rated r,
im not sure you shld b bringing ur child
taeyeon: that me bf
the whole concept of flirting is just lost on me most of the time really.
whenever someone is like “oh they were flirting with you” i’m just like. what.
whenever someone is like “were you flirting with them?” i’m just like. what.
whenever someone is like “oh you totally were flirting with them!” i’m just like. what.
what is flirting. what is going on. what. i have no idea what’s going on. what
now that kyungsoo has a license, he can
legally run over his band members.
copy and paste yourself into my bed
- baekhyun:*stands on kyungsoo's front lawn*
- kyungsoo:can you move you're bringing my property value down
Apparently, jokingly spreading your legs when the dentist says
“Open wide” is FROWNED UPON IN THIS ESTABLISHMENT.
It’s 2 am on a school night and you just found a fanfic with the
most perfect idea but it’s 10,000 words, quick what do you do?
You read that freaking fanfic and go to school with 3 hours of
sleep because you make good life decisions.
- Me:
- Parents:
- Me:
- Parents:
- Me:*puts earbuds in*
- Parents:iebdwibtifhd
- Me:what
- Parents:HDJEHDIFNE
- Me:what
- Me:*takes out earbuds*
- Parents:
- Parents:
- Me:*puts earbuds back in*
- Parents:jekdelwnfoehdir
- Me:what
im going to name my kid pregnant so they can be like
“hi im pregnant” and everyone will stand there all mortified
THIS STRANGER JUST OPENED MY FRONT DOOR PETTED MY DOG SAW ME AND LEFT
i just met my step-brother for the first time
imagine a ghost getting brought back to life but they’ve been a ghost for so long that they have trouble adjusting. like, they keep running into walls and doors because they used to be able to just pass through them or they trip down the stairs because they used to float down them and sometimes they trip over their own feet because they forget how to walk all together
If someone calls you ‘ugly’ have a good comeback and say ‘excuse me, I am not a mirror’.
- fan:oppa, i want to become your soccer ball ㅠㅠ
- leo:*silently keeps on signing*
- fan:why aren't you answering me??
- leo:then i just have to kick you, right?
- fan:yes ㅠㅠ kick me
- leo:but that'll hurt
Do u ever look at someone and you’re like how
people who wear pants past 7 are not the kind of people i associate with
jesus christ i’m getting hate over this because people are putting the word ‘size’ in there when thats not what i was saying
7:00 P.M.
AS IN THE ING TIME
I thought you meant past age 7 and I was rly confused
Baekhyun: *lies down*
Kyungsoo: who left trash on the floor
YONGGUK FAILED HIS DRIVING TEST 8 TIMES?????
Moon JongUp be like...
JongUp:"When you wear blue lenses you see everything blue?"
JongUp:"Elevators in America go up... just like in korea"
JongUp:"*Eating mango shaved ice* It tastes like... mango and ice together"
i wonder if people who dont know about kpop think us f(x) fans
are just a bunch of really dedicated math aficionados
You know how there’s a theory that no two people see a colour the exact same way.
Does that mean colour is like
a pigment of your imagination.
YOU ING DIDN’T
Huehuehue
- person:but what if your parents had aborted YOU
- me:well okay for starters i wouldn't have been
forced to hear that stupid comment you just made
hmm 666
6+6+6=18
18….
Obama was 18 once
very scary
not sure what this information means
brought to you by Fox News
im so glad fanfiction sometimes looks like those basic formatted
websites u read for deeply detailed paragraphs on educational subjects
my dad just walked into my room and saw words on my computer
and was like “oh ur studying sorry” when i was actually reading
about two boys ing in a storage room on a cruise ship
- me:wow I'm fat
- me:maybe I look ok
- me:I AM PERFECT THE WAY I AM
- me:I'm ing disgusting I'm losing weight now
- me:I am more than just my weight!
- me:who the cares about anything
- me:I AM SO FAT.
- me:idk curves are beautiful i am beautiful
- me:i hate myself
I will defend my favorite band member faster than myself
the sun has come out
the sun is gay
*white girl voice* why are the hot ones always gay
there is so much grass in the world.
there are probably 46, maybe even 47.
...nature is so very beautiful.
what do you call a dictionary on drugs
If you say addictionary I swear to ing god I will cut you
I was gonna say ‘high definition’ but yours is better
mpreg sounds like a file extension
i hate it when paper falls off your desk and it just slides off into the next continent
voldemort calls harry ‘weak’ while he literally cannot
kill a frickin 15 yr old boy. i could kill a 15 yr old boy.
I will never understand why stripping is seen as degrading.
Like…the job description is literally “I am so hot that you could never get me in real life so you’re going to have to pay me to dance for you.”
????
I really like that description.
Let’s all take a minute and be thankful that bugs aren’t the same size as us
treat me like a college textbook. spend lots of money on me but never touch or look at me
no. treat me like your favorite book. keep me by your side, touch my every page, learn all my twists and turns, remember every word I say, even the ones that make you cry
*4-second-long fart noise*
excuse me waiter where are my crayons
a/n: hope you guys aren't bothered by a chapter with a bunch of words i was dead for a while sorry so here enjoy a video of when your bias is now blonde
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