[Minkey] Slow Dancing in a Burning Room
Minho didn't have a clue as to why they clicked, but they did. He was gorgeous, the boy in front of him. They were friends, anyone could see that. But what people couldn't see, because Key made sure they didn't, was that they were lovers.
If Minho acted remotely lovey-dovey in public with him, he freaked. He yelled at Minho as soon as they got home. But he felt immediately guilty once it was over. Because Minho just took it, he never said a word. Then, he'd quietly walk off and read or exercise. Something, anyway. Key never saw the tears in his eyes, because Minho made sure he didn't. It hurt so much to think the things he thought of their secrecy.
"Key, are you ashamed of me?" Key lifted his head up off Minho's chest, astonished. "Because it kinda seems that way." He was about to answer, but then he shut his mouth. Was that the reason he freaked every time they even held hands in public? He started crying when he realized it was. He hated it. But Minho had hit the nail on the head. Minho worried when he saw Key start to cry. "I'm sorry, I just--"
"It is, Minho," Key's voice was full of tears. "I never realized it, but I'm ashamed of what we are." Minho felt his chest cave in on itself. His breath was knocked out of him. His face was instantly closed off, he knew. He wouldn't cry in front of Key, but he knew he'd sob his heart out later.
"Maybe we should break up then," Minho's voice sounded far away in his ears. Like he was hearing through cotton. Key tugged on his shirt.
"No, please--" "I will not be with someone who's ashamed of me. Now please leave," his voice was harsher than he meant for it to be, and Key visibly flinched. Minho had never been this confrontational. Did he even really know Minho? The thought disturbed Key. He got off the bed and went to his own room. Taemin was asleep, thank god, so Key just let go and sobbed in his pillow.
Minho was conflicted. He knew that it wasn't a good thing to be with someone who's ashamed of him, but he still wanted to rush back to Key and tell him everything would be okay. He wanted Key back in his arms, because at least then he had someone. Someone who he wouldn't talk to about his problems, but it was better than dealing with them alone. He cried hard, because Jonghyun slept like a log, and nothing woke him up. At least there was that small comfort. No one was around to watch him fall apart.
The next day, Minho knew he and Key were getting weird stares from the rest of the members. Minho wanted to cry, because he realized that the other members hadn't been told either. And from the looks of Key, his mind was on the same thing. Key's eyes were red from crying, but Minho was sure his eyes didn't look any better. He felt worse and worse looking at Key from across the table until he just couldn't take it anymore.
He stood up suddenly and walked off to his and Jonghyun's room intent on calming down. He didn't even realize he'd left the door open until he felt his bed shift. He looked up and Onew was sitting there with concern on his face.
Onew didn't even have to ask, as soon as Minho had shut the door he was in Onew's arms crying. He told Onew everything, and when he looked up, he saw Onew looking sadly at him. He looked pained.
"Why don't you try to work it out?" he suggested. So that's what Minho did. He apologized to Key, and he told Key that he hoped they could be still be together. Key was eagerly accepted, because he could change. He could.
4 months later, things were worse than they were before. Minho had grown indifferent, and Key hadn't changed. He had a feeling that Minho's newfound indifference had something to do with how he was still freaked out by PDA.
Key was sure the memory would be burned into his memory, the only time Minho came home drunk. He smelled different, like someone else's cologne. He figured Minho was cheating on him, and it hurt. It meant that he wasn't enough for Minho anymore, even though he tried so hard.
"You wouldn't treat a person with a phobia like this," he sobbed out to Minho. Minho's face hardened.
"Yeah well, normally people's significant others help them get over their phobias. I've been trying to help Key, but you just refuse to change," it was the most Minho had spoken to him in 2 months. The shame the words brought made his face flush. "You even freaked out when I told you Onew knew. Onew, for God's sake. What the hell is so wrong with letting our band members, our brothers know?" Key recoiled from the words. They made sense, too much sense.
"Because you seem so invested in helping me," Key said through his tears. "You just got home drunk and you smell like someone else. That doesn't feel like help to me, Minho." Minho's eyes widened in surprise before they narrowed in anger.
"That's lovely, Key, really. I was at Nichkhun's dorm and I puked on my clothes so he let me borrow his for a few days. It's nice to know my boyfriend trusts me so much that he thinks I cheated on him," Minho left Key there, shocked out of crying. The whole conversation was ringing in his head. Minho had to hate him now, didn't he? Key was sure he did.
So Key moved on. Jonghyun was a good replacement for Minho, because he and Key were alike. They didn't want anyone else to find out about their relationship. They were good friends. They were even touchy and it didn't seem wrong, like it had with Minho. Minho was still indifferent, and Key pretended he didn't care. Nothing had really changed, except their relationship status. At least, that's what he thought.
Jonghyun and Key had the dorm to themselves for a few hours so they decided to have some fun. They were on the living room floor when they heard the door open. Minho's voice flooded the apartment.
"Key? You here?" Key wanted to cry when Minho finally came into the living room. His eyes immediately landed on the pair, and blushed at their naked forms. The hurt on his face broke Key's heart. He said nothing and turned around, and then Key noticed that Minho had a home-made card in his hand. The title of the card read "I'm sorry" in capital letters, and Key wanted to bury himself in a hole somewhere. He looked over at Jonghyun, and saw his head lowered in shame and embarrassment.
"Are we going to tell Onew and Taemin?" Key asked softly. Jonghyun's eyes widened, and he shook his head frantically.
"No, no way. I don't want them to ever know," Key nodded.
"But over half of SHINee knows no--," I don't care," Jonghyun interrupted. "I don't want anyone to know more than they have to." Key realized how much Jonghyun sounded like himself, and his pain doubled. He couldn't imagine how upset and disappointed Minho was.
Some part of him had expected this, Minho realized. He knew that Key wasn't talking to him for a reason. He just didn't know it was because of Jonghyun. He didn't bear any ill will towards Key or Jonghyun. He just wished that they had told him. He thought Key was still in a relationship with him even though they had their problems. Key obviously didn't feel the same way anymore.
Onew came in the room much later, after his schedules had ended. He just sat next to Minho, and he was silent for a few minutes.
"You missed dinner," he began softly. Minho nodded. He knew. He and Jonghyun shared an alarm clock, after all. "Something happened today, didn't it?" Minho nodded again. Onew didn't pressure, he knew Minho would tell him what had happened on his own time, and Minho appreciated that fact. He felt like he'd fall to pieces if he said anything.
"Do you think you could sleep here tonight?" Minho started to tear up. "If you don't want to--,"
"I want to, Minho," Onew said, and hugged Minho tightly. "I don't mind a bit." Jonghyun blushed when he came to his shared bedroom with Minho and saw the 2 of them sharing a bed. He didn't feel quite so guilty after seeing the way Onew and Minho were snuggled up together.
It was a quiet affair. Onew slept in the same bed as Minho almost every night. Minho was grateful, because the nights when he woke up alone made him cry. He cried a lot these days, but privately of course. He felt he had to act like he was impervious around Jonghyun and Key. Onew was the only one who saw him in any sort of vulnerable state.
Every touch, every glance sent between Jonghyun and Key was a shard of glass in Minho's heart. Especially the glances and touches that Minho clearly knew were meant in a sexual manner. He used to do that to Key, and get slapped. Jonghyun did it and got a seductive smile.
Minho was home alone in the dorm. It was his first day off in weeks, and he was grateful. He was just relaxing and watching a movie after his morning workout when Key walked in. His face was instantly guarded.
"I thought I was the only one home," he said cautiously and Key looked embarrassed.
"So did I," Key shuffled awkwardly, and Minho slapped himself mentally when he started thinking about how cute Key looked. He stood up suddenly, started to walk away when Key hugged him from the back. Every muscle in his body froze and tensed. "I'm sorry, Minho." Minho relaxed, but he still didn't move.
"It's a little late for that, Key," he walked out of the dorm, trying not to hear Key's muffled cries.
For the next month, Key was a wreck. He hadn't expected Minho to accept him back, but he was disappointed and hurt anyway. Rejection in any form hurts. Jonghyun didn't help matters either. He was always so paranoid about Onew and Taemin, even though Key told him they already knew. Jonghyun loved him, Key knew, but it still hurt. Being someone's dirty little secret never felt good.
The way Jonghyun acted reminded him of himself. He used to be so paranoid about being found out, and now he didn't care. Key winced every time he thought about how Minho must have felt. He wondered if Minho had felt the same humiliation and disappointment and hurt he felt. He figured Minho probably felt it twice as bad. Because he knew Minho put his everything into relationships. It was one of the reasons he'd been attracted to Minho in the first place.
Key wanted to back with Minho very badly. He would even change, and he really meant it this time. But after Minho had walked out that day, he knew Minho didn't feel the same way. He'd hurt Minho too much.
Key was happy for Minho, though he was hurting. He was only sad that he wasn't the cause of Minho's smiles. He tried not to think about the fact that the whole time they'd been together he hadn't seen Minho smile the way he does when he's around Onew. The smiles were genuine. They kissed, held hands in public, and everything that him and Minho had never done.
When Onew and Minho finally announced they were in a relationship, Key clapped and stood up like the rest of the members. But then he downed his alcohol and left. He put on a hoodie and sunglasses before he went out. He wandered the area, crying softly. It was an unpleasant sensation, heartbreak. It felt like someone had ripped his heart out, stomped on it, and put it back in his chest all dirty and squished.
He didn't come home until sunrise. He unlocked the dorm door, and he was going to his bedroom when someone hugged him tightly from behind.
"I was worried about you, Key," Taemin's voice was muffled in his shirt. "I waited for you to come back. Are you okay now?" Key smiled warmly and started crying again. But this time it wasn't because he was sad.
"No, I'm not okay. But I will be, Taeminnie. Just give me time," Taemin's grip got even tighter.
"All the time in the world, if that's what you need," Taemin murmured, and Key chuckled when he felt Taemin's face heat up. Knowing someone would be there for him had helped Key already. He turned and hugged Taemin walking up the stairs with Taemin's arms still around his waist.
He hadn't believed it when he said it, but Key started to think everything really would be okay when Taemin stepped into the picture. Taemin was like a band-aid for his heart. He protected Key from being further hurt. And that was the way Key hoped it stayed.
Alright. I feel like the ending is a total fail. -headdesk- I was going to end it on a sad note (because the song that this is inspired by isn't a happy song), but I really wanted Onho at the end. So it got a fluffy ending. XD
Anyway, I hope you all enjo--- OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU GUYS. ;~; <33 *Lol, I noticed my subscriber count*
Have a lovely day. ☺ ☺ ♥♥
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