Leeteuk lay in his hospital bed, guilt ridden. He knew he was being selfish by not telling everyone, but it only now dawned on him just exactly how selfish he had been. Not only had he endangered his own life, but also the life of his unborn child. From now on he was going to take better care of himself. It was something he had to do.
With a sigh, he glanced at the clock in the room. It had been a good half hour since the doctor had left to break the news to his companions in the waiting room. Surely someone wanted to see him...right? Or maybe they were all upset with him, aside from Heechul, Kyuhyun, Sungmin and Ryeowook of course. But what if the others wanted nothing to do with him anymore? Panic began to rise within him. Upon hearing the EKG beside him beep faster as his heart rate rose, he made a concious effort to calm himself. He'd already seen what stress could do to him and frankly he did not want to go through that again. So, Leeteuk closed his eyes and tried to think of happy thoughts while he waited.
After what seemed like ages, the door to his room opened. All of his group members entered the room. All except one, the one that he had wanted to see the most. Kangin wasn't there. With a sigh, Leeteuk closed his eyes in an effort to keep the tears from flowing down his cheeks.
"He left, didn't he." Leeteuk said. More of a statement than a question, as he already knew the answer.
"Teukie hyung...I'm so sorry..." Ryeowook said.
"We tried to talk some sense into him but it just didn't work. He's stubborn." Heechul said. Even he was expressing true remorse beneath the anger he had towards the whole situation.
"Don't be sorry, it's not your fault that he is the way he is. I kind of had the feeling he would react like this so I guess I'm somewhat prepared." Leeteuk faked the first of many smiles that would occur within the next while of his life.
"We called Zhou Mi, Han Geng and Henry. They're going to stay in the dorm with us to help out." Donghae said with a comforting smile.
"Thanks so much you guys, I don't know how I can ever repay you." Leeteuk said gratefully.
"Yah don't worry about it! You always take care of us, now we're going to take care of you." Sungmin smiled.
"The doctor said you can come home now so...let's get back to the dorm. I'll cook you something nice!" Ryeowook said.
"And I will help you eat it!" Shindong offered, earning a small laugh from everyone.
Leeteuk was checked out of the hospital with a clean bill of health, much to everyone's relief. They looked around briefly for Kangin but didn't manage to find him. He'd probably gone home in a taxi or something of that nature. It was the only thing that really made sense. Despite how sad he was, the leader managed to keep his head up. Things could only stay bad for so long right? It would time some time and a lot of trying, but eventually it would get better. Or so he hoped.
Once they finally arrived back at the dorm, Leeteuk excused himself to the bedroom that he and Kangin shared. He closed the door behind him and laid down on the bed. Only once he was certain that no one was going to walk in on him, he allowed the tears to spill from his eyes.
He'd managed to keep his composure in front of his friends, but now that he was alone he could really express his sadness. The sorrow seemed to engulf him entirely, drowning him with the salt tears that came along with the emotion.
To say he wasn't heartbroken would be a complete lie; he felt like his heart had been entirely shattered. It was as if all that time he and Kangin had spent together meant nothing at all. This child was a result of their love, and Kangin had walked out on him. He didn't say a word, he just left.
Yes, this was a huge change in their lives and it was shocking at first. Leeteuk knew that first hand as he had to deal with the shock as well a few months ago. Kangin was being a total coward and he hated that. Never before had he been so angry at some one for anything. But yet, Leeteuk still loved the foolish coward. Because no matter the stupid things Kangin did, he was still his. Or at least...he was.
Would things be different for them now? Would Kangin even want to be with him still? He wouldn't ask him to get rid of it would he? There was so much to think about, so much to worry about. But yet, he knew he should be happy. Today could have turned out much worse than this. He could have lost the baby, but he didn't. So even though the heart ache was immense, he had some hope to hold on to.
Suddenly over taken by exhaustion, Leeteuk crawled under the blankets and sighed softly. He nuzzled his face into Kangin's pillow, inhaling the familiar scent as he dozed off into a well deserved sleep.
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