“Myungsoo-yah,” his father began, when they were done with their meals. “What made you look for me?”

   The young man looked at the cleared table, thinking of the right words to say. What else could he talk about his father, anyway? He refused to even look at him in the eye ever since his mother died. All those years, Myungsoo harbored a certain anger towards him, subconsciously blaming his father along the way. After being separated for so long, he wasn’t sure if his speechlessness was caused by not having anything to mention to his father or there was too much he didn’t know where to start.

   “I’ve been meaning to ask,” Myungsoo said in a cautious tone. “Were you womanizing when I was still two years old?”

   Mr. Kim’s glimmering eyes widened. He looked down, and slowly nodded.

   “Did you even love my Mom?” he followed up. His tone of voice was calm. Myungsoo figured that he was truly moving on. Still, he wanted to know the answers to the questions that had bugged him for so long.

   “I did,” he answered. “Just not enough.”

   Myungsoo blinked once. Twice. “Are you still seeing that woman I saw last spring?”

   “Not anymore,” Mr. Kim raised his head to meet his son’s eyes. “Ever since that day, I haven’t been meeting anyone. I’m…actually trying to return to Daehyun’s mother.”

   “I see,” he quietly muttered. Myungsoo smiled a little. “I came here with the plan of saying I forgave you for everything you did, but then again, I should be apologizing, as well.”

   Mr. Kim didn’t speak.

   “For not honoring you as a parent,” the young man began. “And for blaming you for everything. I’m sorry if I distanced myself away from you, and for hurting you.”

   The air around them was silent, but it wasn’t that heavy anymore. Mr. Kim sniffed, and he carefully removed his glasses to wipe the tears away from his eyes.

   “I’ll visit regularly,” Myungsoo carried on. “And I’ll call, too. I moved to a new place, by the way.”

   He stood up, and bowed. “I’ll see you again later, Dad.”

   All of a sudden, Mr. Kim stood up, his chair scraping the floor. He walked around the table and locked Myungsoo in a tight embrace. He started weeping; he choked on his tears. It was Myungsoo’s first time hearing his father cry like that.

   “I’m sorry,” he sobbed. “For lacking so many things as a father, I really am sorry.”

   Myungsoo couldn’t reply. Instead, he hugged his father back.

   Before parting ways, Mr. Kim called Myungsoo. The young man turned his head. “I’m proud of you, son.”

   Myungsoo’s tears fell freely as he walked. Some people stared at him, but he didn’t care. He wasn’t dragging his past along with him anymore. Myungsoo took his phone out, and searched for his mother’s number. He stopped walking, and stared at the string of digits he came to know by heart. Myungsoo placed his thumb on the screen again, and proceeded to delete his mother’s name. Somewhere along those lines, he remembered how he waited in the restaurant to meet with Sunggyu the year before; he remembered how he was so desperate to talk with someone who would understand, he told the very stirrings of his heart to a corpse. Without even realizing it, Myungsoo ambled on, and went to the places he had vivid memories of.

<:>

   Suzy stared at the red rose on her desk. She slowly picked it up, and looked around the library. Shrugging, she read the card. Her name was printed on it, with a short note saying: I like you.

   Sungjong then tapped her on the back. “Why are you zoning out again?”

   “This,” Suzy turned around to show him the rose. “I received another one.”

   He smirked. “Aren’t you being too popular these days?”

   “Stop joking around,” she answered. “Sungjong-ah, what should I do with this?”

   “Don’t you want it?”

   She bit her lower lip.

   A knowing smile graced his lips, and he added, “Because it’s not from Myungsoo hyung.”

   And just like the former days, Suzy would place the rose back on the desk, with a sticky note attached to it. It would always, always read: Thank you.

   Sungjong and Suzy spent their fee time doing their respective projects, and two hours passed by just like that. When the bell rang, they both stood up and walked out of the library. He glanced at her, and asked, “Don’t you think you’re being too harsh on your secret admirer?”

   “Are you on his side?”

   “I’m a guy, too,” Sungjong pointed out.

   “That’s better than giving him false hope,” Suzy replied quietly. “I’d rather do that than lead that person on.”

   “You’re growing up, Bae Suzy,” he remarked fondly. “Are you really the tomboy I met in elementary?”

   She smiled, and gave him a playful shove. “Are you being this playful because you grew another year older, huh?”

   Sungjong smiled quietly, and looked at the scenery outside as they walked through the corridor. “Summer’s really gone now.”

   Suzy’s eyes widened. She knew what Sungjong had meant, but she thought of a different thing altogether.

   Summer’s really gone now.

   Myungsoo’s really gone now.

   “You can’t even hear the cicadas,” Sungjong carried on. “And after autumn we’re back to having that dreary winter.”

   “You don’t have to worry; summer will come around again,” she casually remarked. But what she wanted to say was: I don’t have to worry; Myungsoo will come around again.

<:>

   Woohyun sighed, and stared at his phone’s screen. He was in Sunggyu’s apartment, then, trying to translate another chapter from the novel he was assigned to. He realized that being around another person made him more productive.

   Sunggyu entered the study. He stood behind him and tapped Woohyun’s shoulder. “What’s your problem?”

   The younger one looked up, and smiled a little. Sunggyu placed Woohyun’s coffee on the desk, before leaning on its edge. He took a sip from his own cup.

   “My mom just called,” he said. “While crying.”

   Sunggyu didn’t respond. He waited for his friend to carry on. It wasn’t long before he added, “She’s getting too emotional these days.”

   “Why’d you say so?”

   “A cousin of mine had a baby,” Woohyun answered. “She asked me when I’d be able to give them a grandchild, too. Then she cried.”

   “I don’t really know how to reply,” Sunggyu admitted.

   “You don’t have to,” he returned. He looked at the ceiling. “I’m old enough to marry, but I can’t seem to get past that puppy love phase. It’s frustrating.”

   Sunggyu merely smiled a little.

   “How do you know if you’re in love, hyung?”

   “It’s more than physical attraction, that I’m sure of,” Sunggyu answered.

   “Well, that helped,” Woohyun shot back sarcastically.

   The older one smirked. “It will hit you in the most unexpected way, so you don’t have to rush.”

   “How did it hit you, then?”

   “It hit me during a train ride,” Sunggyu stood up straight. “When she told me she’d move along.”

   “Was it the same?” Woohyun pushed. “The feeling you had between then and now, I mean.”

   Sunggyu kept quiet to think about the question his friend just threw at him. Finally getting what he was trying to say, he replied, “It wasn’t. Because for Jieun’s case, I actually saw myself marrying her.”

   “Was that your first time?”

   The older one nodded. “My first relationship was a favor, at the least. Sunye asked that kind of request because of her condition; my feelings for Suzy—I know it will not work out.”

   “But you loved them,” Woohyun pointed out.

   “I did,” Sunggyu acknowledged. “Just not to the point that I’d visualize myself being with the both of them.”

   “Blunt,” he chuckled, before taking the cup from his desk. “You sound like a douche whenever you talk like that.”

   “And maybe I am, Woohyun,” he shoved his hands in his pockets. The two friends looked ahead of them, pondering on what they just told each other. The deafening silence danced around them.

   “Do you have any regrets, hyung?” Woohyun finally asked.

   Sunggyu closed his eyes for a moment. “I’ve a lot, but it’s my choice to let those things get to me or not.”

   “To be honest, I think you have a hard heart.”

   A short, amused laughter escaped from the older one’s lips. “I beg to differ,” he said. He headed for the door, and continued, “Having a hard heart is different from having a strong one. Have fun translating. I’ll sleep for a bit.”

   He watched his friend walk away, and it wasn’t long before he spun his swivel chair around to face his laptop once again, with the boring cursor blinking at him. He stared at the coffee Sunggyu gave him. It was mixed the way he wanted. Knowing him for almost a year, Woohyun realized that despite Sunggyu’s prickly front, he was actually thoughtful; he was more of a doer, and even if his words were dry and blunt at times, he still held this charisma and warmth that constantly drew people in.

   “Strong heart, huh?” he muttered, smiling to himself. “That’s a new way of looking at things.”

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. 
- Psalm 73:26