“Myungsoo!” Suzy crouched a little and tilted her head to meet his gaze. This caused her fringe to fall over her eyes. He smiled, zipped his guitar case completely and stood up straight. She followed suit. “Are you going somewhere?”

   “The hospital,” he briefly answered. “I’m doing some volunteer work.”

   She pointed at the case. “You’re going to play?”

   He nodded. “Do you want to come with me?”

   After asking for permission, the both of them headed out. They walked in silence, under the brilliant, summer sky. Funnily enough, neither of them wanted to have it any other way.

<:>

   They were sitting across each other while in the train. She asked, “Why volunteer work all of a sudden?”

   He mainly had three reasons, but he didn’t tell the third one.

   “Seeing those children smile is a joy,” he admitted. “And it will look good on my school record. It’s my final year. I might as well make the most of it.”

   “I see,” Suzy replied, nodding away. “It’s funny how you’re about to leave university and I’m only at the beginning.”

   “Time will fly,” Myungsoo said. “So don’t forget to have moments worth cherishing.”

   “I know,” she replied. There was a significant pause between them, as if she was contemplating whether to ask the question gnawing at the back of her mind or not. She decided to do the former. “After graduating, what will you do?”

   He looked up thoughtfully, smiling to himself. “Go on a penniless journey as a photographer, perhaps,” he began. “I can live by busking.”

   Suzy chortled at the idea. “That should be fun.”

   “But what about you?” he returned.

   “Me?” she grinned. “I want to get published one day, and have Sunggyu proofread my work. We promised that to each other when we were younger.”

   “What kind of book do you want to write?” Myungsoo asked.

   She paused for a moment to think. “A book so sincere people won’t get tired of rereading it—so much, that the pages would become crinkled and loose. What about you, Myungsoo? What kind of music do you want to make?”

   “Something that can make the listeners feel like someone’s waiting for them,” he paused to his lower lip. “Because that gives me the assurance that I’m on my way home.”

   He couldn’t explain it any further, and Suzy took everything in. He glanced at her, and looked away. They basked in the silence that engulfed them. He wanted to avoid her as much as possible, because his heart kept on fluttering whenever she was around. He did a sly move, nevertheless, because he boldly invited her.

   Stop losing to yourself, he thought.

<:>

   Jieun was already on her toes, and yet she couldn’t reach the top shelf. She heaved a sigh of frustration, and was about to turn around to grab the stool when she felt someone behind her. She froze, and the familiar scent filled her senses. Sunggyu’s firm body was pressed against her at the slightest.

   “You’re using this cup, right?” he casually asked.

   Blushing, Jieun looked at the sink.

   Sunggyu scoffed. “Usually the ladies in dramas will turn around by this time to meet the lead’s face.”

   “A-Are you teasing me?” she stuttered.

   He laughed mischievously. “I wonder. I usually play around like this.”

   Sunggyu lingered for a bit longer before finally pulling away. He handed her the cup. “Stop placing that on the high shelf, if you’re having that kind of struggle every time.”

   “It’s just for today,” she defended. “I’m not wearing any heels.”

   “I know,” he replied. “That’s why I followed you here.”

   With a playful grin, Sunggyu ruffled her hair before exiting the staff room. Jieun quickly held the top of her head, flabbergasted.

   “What’s wrong with him?” she muttered, as she filled the thermos with water. A sudden realization hit her, causing her task to be neglected. “At that time, in Dublin, did he hear?”

   Sunggyu entered the lounge, where Woohyun was by the bright windows, reading a book.

   “This novel’s going to be a huge hit,” he remarked.

   “What makes you say so?”

   The younger man placed the book beside him and typed away on his laptop. “Because I’m translating it.”

   Sunggyu scoffed, and sat down on one of the bean bags. He leaned in farther, so he could look at the fluorescent lights. Somehow, he remembered Myungsoo’s room, along with the black marks on the ceiling. He remembered how Myungsoo removed the glow-in-the-dark stars one by one, with tears threatening to fall from his eyes.

   “What did you do in the kitchen?” Woohyun asked.

   “I followed Jieun.”

   “Why?”

   “She couldn’t reach the shelf because she isn’t wearing heels today.”

   Woohyun paused, and stared at him. “You even notice those kind of things?”

   “I suppose so,” Sunggyu replied.

   “You’re either a gentleman or a douche,” he remarked bluntly. “Doing that can make a girl fall for you. Are you even aware of it?”

   “Sunye told that to me firsthand.”

   “And you still do it,” Woohyun pointed out.

   Sunggyu sat up straight, and looked at his friend. “I won’t make a girl fall if I’ve no plans on catching her.”

   “Do you really like her?” he pushed.

   A sheepish smile graced Sunggyu’s lips. He looked at his hands, loosely intertwined. He remembered what happened last spring, when they decided to take the train going to Dublin. Did it begin from there? Or was that the time he finally realized his feelings towards Jieun, simply because he was still clouded by his past?

   “It’s not a way of diverting your attention from Suzy?” Woohyun suggested.

   “I like Jieun,” Sunggyu confirmed in a sincere whisper. “I do.”

<:>

   It was one of July’s hottest days when Myungsoo arrived home after doing his slot as a volunteer in the hospital. He removed his shoes and heard Sang Moon in the backyard, together with his parents. He was told to come home early if he was free, because they’d have barbecue. He was about to go upstairs when someone caught his eye. It was Suzy, sleeping on the sofa, with the electric fan directed at her.

   Quietly, he approached her. Locks of her hair gently swayed with the soft, artificial wind. He swallowed, and sat down on the floor to stare at her for a bit longer. With shaky hands he traced her nose, only to pull away all of a sudden. Something stirred inside of him.

   “In my eyes,” he whispered. “You’re not just ‘Sunshine’ anymore, Suzy.”

   Myungsoo leaned in, but when he realized what he was about to do, he stood up and proceeded to go upstairs.

   Suzy slowly opened her eyes, and buried her face against the pillow. “This isn’t good.”

<:>

   Sungyeol threw his washcloth, only to hit Myungsoo square on the face. He guffawed, and he received a glower from his friend in return.

   “What are you so busy about these days, always looking at your phone? Are you looking for a new job? Are you going to ditch me?”

   “I may look for a new job if this comes through,” Myungsoo muttered, before focusing on his phone once again. He scrolled through the screen.

   Sungyeol froze for a moment, before running towards the counter. He leaned forward, eyes wide; mouth set into a disapproving curve. “What do you mean by that?”

   Myungsoo sighed. “I’m looking for a new place to stay.”

   “Why?”

   “I’m about to graduate, anyway. I saved enough money. I can manage.”

   “But why?” the other bellowed. He stormed through the wooden, swinging door and stood beside Myungsoo. “Did something bad happen? Why are you deciding to leave all of a sudden?”

   Myungsoo scratched the back of his head, and proceeded to open the windows. Sungyeol followed after him, pressing on with the same questions. Biting his lower lip, Myungsoo faced him.

   “It’s not like we won’t see each other again,” he remarked.

   “That’s not the point I’m trying to make,” Sungyeol shot back. “Can’t you think it over?”

   Myungsoo raked his fingers against his hair. He grimaced, and exhaled a mouthful of air. “I’ve finished thinking it over. If I brood on it all the more, I’ll end up compromising myself, looking for excuses to stay. And I can’t risk it.”

   “But why—”

   “I’m falling for her, Sungyeol,” Myungsoo cut in. His eyes softened up. It was his first time admitting it out loud. It was his first time feeling that way. He choked back his tears, and added, “Hard.”

   Sungyeol stared at him, long and hard. As if acknowledging Myungsoo’s point of view, his shoulders relaxed. “Okay.”

<:>

   “Watermelons will be good for tonight,” Mr. Bae remarked, as he took a huge one from the basket. Myungsoo was the one pushing it. “After this, do you want us to have lunch together?”

   The young man smiled. “I would love that, Uncle.”

   They walked through the aisles, getting this and that. He looked at Myungsoo warmly, and said, “I look like an expert here, don’t I?”

   A genuine laughter escaped from Myungsoo. “You do,” he admitted.

   “When my wife was pregnant with Suzy, I did the groceries. She persisted on doing it, but I told her not to. I suppose I was too excited with the thought of having another child. I had to receive a good beating from my lovely, hormone-infused wife before I could do everything right. Of course, things were easier because Sunggyu was there to remind me. I can still place him on the cart, then.”

   Myungsoo smiled at the memory shared with him. “Uncle, let’s not forget to buy rice.”

<:>

   They were already in the middle of eating when Myungsoo raised his concern. “Uncle, I’m currently looking for a new place to stay. I may move away later on. I’ve yet to tell Auntie, but I’m planning on staying with Pastor Kang for the time being. He already agreed.”

   A long pause passed by between them. Finally, Mr. Bae asked, “Is there any reason why, Myungsoo?”

   He smiled a little, and told him everything: how he met Suzy through the phone, the secret meeting and how the next events led to where they were at that moment. His voice was shaking, but he figured that he should be honest with Mr. Bae.

   “I mean it when I say she’s a good friend,” he began. “Your children made me look at the brighter side of life, when I thought there was none. They taught me many things, Uncle, and I’m grateful for that. I’m grateful that you let me stay in your home without asking for anything in return. You’ve all been a blessing to me, and things are beginning to fall into place bit by bit.”

   His face was flushed and his voice was trembling still. Myungsoo bit his lower lip before carrying on. “I like Suzy, and I want to pursue her when the day is right. Uncle, I’m asking for your approval. So when it’s time, I can chase after her. These…are my honest thoughts right now.”

   “What if you realize that it isn’t Suzy in the end?”

   The young man looked at Mr. Bae with an honest gaze. “Then if that’s the case, I still won’t regret moving out. I’d rather distance myself away than end up doing something that may damage her future. As much as possible, I really want to be open with you and Auntie. I like her. It’s my first time feeling this, and I don’t want to mess it up by doing something impulsive with her. I don’t want to influence Suzy that way.”

   They stared at each other for a while, and a warm smile graced Mr. Bae’s lips. “The waiting season is quite difficult. Will you be able to endure it?”

   “I won’t be able to do it alone,” Myungsoo admitted, his eyes sparkling. “But I know where my help comes from. I’m confident that I’ll pull through, by grace.”

<:>

   What greeted Sunggyu on the first of August was the sound of Suzy’s messy sniveling.

   His eyes widened when he heard her crying on the other end of the line. Her sobs were uncontrollable, as if something special was taken away from her. After hearing what she had to say, though, he figured that he was right.

   “Suzy?”

   “S-Sunggyu…” she choked out. “I-I k-know I’m not s-supposed t-t-to c-cry like th-this but—”

   Her trembling voice caved in, and that was when the waterworks began. He stood up from his bed and walked around his apartment. He would usually know what to say to her whenever that kind of situation cropped up. At that time, however, he couldn’t even think of anything. He could only listen to his younger sister’s sobs that could pierce his heart. Sunggyu chose to stay quiet. He waited for her to calm down, before asking, “Where are you?”

   “In the bathroom,” she croaked. “I’m alone. I don’t want the others to see me cry like this.”

   “Why are you crying?”

   There was a long pause. It was obvious: Suzy was trying to hold back her tears. “Myungsoo’s moving out of the house.”

   Sunggyu fell silent.

   “Why does it hurt so much?” she asked, her voice breaking at the last syllable. Sunggyu could imagine her, sitting on the bowl’s cover with her knees folded up and touching her chest. He could see her with swollen eyes and flushed cheeks, with her locks getting stuck on her face because of her tears. He tried to reach out to her, but he realized that what he saw was his fond illusions of her, and nothing more.

   “Stop crying,” he muttered. “It makes me want to come home.”

   “Then come home,” Suzy replied.

   “Don’t be selfish,” Sunggyu remarked.

   “Then don’t say things you don’t mean,” she shot back. She sniffed, and asked, without even bothering to hide the hurt in her voice, “But why is he going away? Is he not happy with us?”

   “Maybe it’s not that, Suzy.”

   “Then why?” she pushed. “Why is he moving out? Why is he leaving?”

   Sunggyu rubbed his temple with his left hand. He sighed, and looked at the urban scenery outside. “I don’t know, but his reasons should be good.”

   Suzy didn’t reply.

   “Do you still want to cry more?” he asked.

   “I’m tired,” she confessed.

   Sunggyu smiled to himself. That side of Suzy still stayed. She could tire herself out just by crying.

   “You must have whined a lot, then,” he remarked. “Go wash your face and rest.”

   They talked for a bit more, and when she hung up, he stared at his phone.

   “You said you liked me, but when the real thing hits you, you can’t even recognize it,” he scoffed, and closed his blinds. “You’re one interesting girl, Bae Suzy.”

"My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth!"
- Psalm 121:2