It was plain stupidity, Daehyun thought, when autumn was nearing winter and the air was starting to get chillier by days, yet he was still walking around with his fingers bereft of gloves -- all because for the past few days, Yongguk’s fingers would be laced with his as Yongguk walked them around -- but Daehyun liked the feel of Yongguk’s skin on his too much for his own good, so when Yongguk connected their fingers together today, and the softness of wool came into contact instead of the rough palm and slender digits of Yongguk, he could not help but to feel disappointed.

“It’s cold. You should wear your gloves.” Yongguk voiced out, concerned.

“It’s okay. I’m not cold.”  He lied. His fingers were freezing. 

Yongguk exhaled a long sigh, untangling their fingers. Daehyun's heart sank.

Momentarily, that was, his gloom quickly displaced when he felt his left hand being raised and a glove being put on. He tried half-heartedly to pry his hand away, the glove dangling halfway into his hand, but a hand on his wrist kept his hand steady whilst the other pulled the glove upward, closing the glove fully on his hand.

“Jung Daehyun, you are one stubborn mule.” Yongguk joked, suppressed giggles elicited at the end of his words.

Daehyun wanted to protest. He wanted to tell Yongguk that he could just go back into his house and get himself a pair of gloves, but he decided to keep his mouth shut when Yongguk’s fingers intertwined with his, the thumb rubbing at the back of his hand, giving his hand a much appreciated warmth as the entangled fingers were slipped into the snugness of Yongguk’s pocket. Daehyun felt heat crept up his cheeks, and he discreetly pulled the loose scarves around his neck to close more on his lower face, hoping the blush got past Yongguk’s eyes. He could feel Yongguk scrutinizing him, but Yongguk said nothing, although Yongguk let out some chuckles that let him know that Yongguk knew. He hated how easily his face was reddened by Yongguk's simplest action.

They have been walking for some time when Yongguk pulled them both to a bench, hesitantly pulling out their fingers from his pocket and untangling them to seat Daehyun on the bench before finding his spot beside him. Daehyun closed his eyes and breathed in, taking in the comforting quietness and the soft exhales of breaths of the man beside him. Slowly, he turned his head aside, raising his fingers that were now exposed to the coldness to touch the warmness of Yongguk’s cheek, the touch slow and hesitant. For a brief moment, Yongguk was tense, but he was quick to relax, responding to Daehyun’s action by latching his hand on top of his, fingers snuggling inside the spaces between his splayed fingers.

“Why?” Yongguk asked, humming contently at the warmth of their fingers on his face.

“Nothing,” he answered briefly, moving his thumb to brush against the lower middle of Yongguk face, the caress met with faint prickling of stubbles, before arriving on the softness of Yongguk’s lips. His thumb lingered there for a while, liking the feeling on his finger. They are full and fleshy, much like his own, he noted.

“I wish I know what you look like.” Daehyun lowered his gaze, “But even with this touch,” he detached his thumb  from Yongguk’s lips, “I still can’t make out your face in my mind. It’s just … a blur.” His eyes felt glassy.

Touching a small at his chin, Yongguk gently tilted his face up. The fingers previously on his chin moved toward his jaw, cupping and caressing tenderly his face.

“But if you could see, you will leave me," Yongguk sighed, his fingers stilling on my face. “Why would someone as beautiful as you want to be with someone like me.”

He made a small chuckle at the joke. Yongguk was always telling him he was beautiful. But soon the overwhelming melancholy took over. “Why would someone … able like you, want someone like me…” he retorted, tearing his eyes away from the man beside him, wiping at the few drops of tears cascading down his cheeks with his gloved hand and pulling apart the hand on his face with his other hand.

He hated crying, especially in front of others, but somehow, at this moment, his emotions seemed to get the best of him, unreasonably at that, his whole being drenched with the sudden feels of hopelessness and unworthiness. He needed the solitude of his bedroom. No one should see him so vulnerable like this. 

Yongguk seemed to differ in thoughts though. The other man gently reached for his hand and locked their fingers together, bringing them close to his chest. Fingers slided into his scarves to cup at the nape of his neck with carefulness as a body leaned closer to him. Yongguk’s fingers gently prodded his head forward, burying his face inside the comfort of his scarves.

It was an odd form of solace, being so close to a person other than his mother. The gentle rocking motion soothed him, physically and mentally, the aching in his heart gradually replaced with that of calmness. A warm and fuzzy feeling pooled inside him. He relocated his hand, finding its rightful place wrapped around Yongguk’s waist, and buried his face deeper inside the scarves around Yongguk’s neck.

“I miss my mom.” Daehyun sobbed, bringing Yongguk’s body closer with his arm.

“My mom just kicked me out.” Yongguk muttered, voice indifferent.

Quickly, Daehyun pried their bodies apart, shocked at the recent news. “What?!” He found it hard to believe how calm Yongguk was being, unsure if Yongguk fully understood the gravity of the situation. The man just chuckled faintly, bringing his sleeve to wipe under Daehyun’s nose and mumbled about how he is dirty, and if Daehyun was not too overwhelmed with how unconventional Yongguk seemsed to have responded to such a situation, he would have felt embarrassed.

But Yongguk was unbelievably relaxed, and it was ridiculous to Daehyun. The man pulled him back into a hug, arms latched onto his back and face pressed close to the side of his face.

“You’re warm.” Yongguk purred, contented.

“You haven’t answered my question.”

He heard the man exhaling a long sigh before replying to him. “I told her I fell in love with a man…”

“Oh…” Daehyun was not sure how to react to this.

“Are you going to say something else?” By now Yongguk’s arms were moving up and down his spine, the cold tip of his nose touching his ear. Daehyun tried not to think of the jolt of electricity shooting down his body as the vibration of Yongguk voice crept on his skin.

“Do you have, do you have anywhere to go?” He asked the first thing that came to his mind, trying to wiggle his head free.

“I’ve been staying with my friend. Are you going to ask something else? Such as,” he felt Yongguk’s lips ghost on his ear, “who that man is?”