Thursday; November 15

I walked into the room, closing the door behind me. I tossed my bag at the leg of the study table and sat down on the floor next to the study table. I hugged my knees and rested my chin on them. 

There was a knock on the door but I ignored it. Leave me alone please. 

There was a knock again but I didn't cared. The person who knocked decided to came in without waiting for my response and took a seat beside me. 

"What's wrong with you?" Daehyun?! I continued staring at the front. 

"Nothing." I muttered. 

"You were lying when you said you were not feeling well right. So what's the real reason behind all these?" 

"Nothing that you need to know." 

"I thought we were friends?" I could sense sarcasm dripping in his voice. 

I buried my face in my hands. 

"Why? Why are you treating me like that? You know that I made that statement because it was the best choice for all of us." My voice was slightly muffled but it was still audible enough. 

"Do you really not know why? I went to the CEO that day and I told him I'm going to make a official statement saying that all of these is true. Because I want to be with you. Don't you understand it at all?" 

"Then why can't you understand why did I made that decision? If we admit that it's true, do you know what will happen to B.A.P? Do you know what's really going on right now?!" I was getting a little agitated. 

He should know that I made that choice for the benefit of all of us. Out of so many people, why must it be him that doesn't understand? 

"No, I don't know what's going on. All that I know is that you didn't loved me. Not in the past, not now and not in the future. Am I right? I guess I am." 

My heart felt like it was being stabbed millions and millions of times. Why can't you see that it's because that I love you that I made this choice. And you said that I didn't loved you? Then what was the times we shared together? It meant nothing? 

Tears started welling up in my eyes. I removed my hands from my face and realised that he was no longer beside me. I clutched the place that my heart was. 

It hurts, so much. 

I feel like I can't breathe, at all. 

"Yeojin?" I hurriedly wiped away my tears and turned to where Youngjae was standing. 

He bent down in front of me and cupped my face in his hands. "What's wrong?" I shook my head. 

"When will you stop keeping everything to yourself? You won't be able to take it if you don't say it out." I lightly pushed his hands away from my face. 

"For the past 18 years of my life, I have been keeping everything to myself and I'm completely fine." I stared at the floor, avoiding his eyes. 

"But you have us now, you don't have to keep everything to yourself. Yeojin, please." I just shook my head. 

He sighed and ruffled his hair in frustration. He took one last glance at me and left the room. 

"Jinnie?" Not you too, Uppie. 

"Go away. Please." 

He walked over and bent down in front of me. "You wouldn't tell me what happened too?" 

I shook my head. Even though Jongup was like a brother to me, I don't like bothering people with my problems. And definitely not any of them. I have already caused so much trouble. 

"Everyone out there is worried sick about you and you wouldn't say a thing about what's bothering you?" I shook my head again. 

"Jinnie, if you don't talk to us, we can't help you. It hurts us too seeing you in pain and we are not able to help."

"It's not that you guys are not able to help. I don't want any of your help." 

"Jinnie." His voice was firmer this time round but I still didn't budge. 

I closed my eyes and in a deep breathe. 

"Just promise me, no matter what it is, don't put too much pressure on yourself, okay?" I nodded my head. I slowly opened my eyes after Jongup left the room. 

"Noona..." Are they going to come in one by one? 

"Zelo-ah, noona-"

"Noona, I'm not here to ask why are you like that. I'm just here to pass you this." He walked over and passed me a small box. 

I looked up at him, "But I don't-" 

"Hurry up and take it, my arm hurts!" He shook his arm. I took a glance at the box and reached out for it. 

"Okay then, I'm done here. Don't forget to smile after you let everything out. Okay, noona?" I nodded. What did I do to deserve all of you guys? 

And next up was Yongguk and Himchan. 

"I'm tired." I made up an excuse, hoping that they would leave the room. 

"It's not going to work on us." Himchan wagged his finger at me. 

"But you know I'm not going to tell you anything. So why not just save your breathe and leave?" 

Yongguk sighed and bent down in front of me like the others. 

"Yeojin, if you don't say out what's wrong, you won't be able to get over it. It will be stuck with you and it will be your worst nightmare for the whole of your life. You might think that keeping everything inside of you is the best way. But you are wrong, Yeojin. I hope that you will say everything out to someone even it's not me." 

"Yeojin, Yongguk's right. It's not good bottling everything up. Say it out, you will feel better. I promise." 

I softened a little. I looked between Yongguk and Himchan. I don't want to be constantly haunted by my childhood anymore. Is saying it out really the solution to it? 

Yongguk nodded at me, telling me it's okay. 

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DOUBLE UPDATE! ^^

But this is a short chapter. hehe. :p

Anyway, 

ENJOY~

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