Monday; 5 November 2012

"Uppie, what happened to Daehyun?" I repeated myself again. He fiddled around with his fingers nervously. I kept looking at him, waiting for him to tell me what's going on. 

He finally looked up, "Daehyun hyung didn't say a word. When he saw that statement, there was no expression on his face. When we asked him what did he think about it, he refused to say a word. Even if we talked to him about matters not related to the statement, he wouldn't answer us. And..." Jongup trailed off. 

"And?" 

"He's wearing a mask, even in the dorm." If he's wearing a mask, does that mean he's shutting everyone else out? My heart fell a little but I still didn't get something. 

Why did he reacted like this? I mean by making this decision, it's better for the both of us isn't it? Fans would stop saying negative comments about us and it will stop more fans from leaving B.A.P's official fancafe. Did I make the wrong choice? 

"But why?" I asked Jongup after a moment of silence. "Jinnie, don't you get it?" I shook my head, I really didn't understand why. 

"Daehyun hyung really loves you and when you released the statement saying that everything wasn't true, the both of you had to act like friends. And just friends this time round." 

"Just friends..." I mumbled to myself, letting what Jongup said sinked in. I finally realised what did my actions meant. Just because of what I said, we really had to act like friends to prevent something like that from happening again. 

No wonder Daehyun reacted that way. He's disappointed in me. He loved me but what I did simply just showed that I didn't. But I really do, that's why I made that decision. 

I felt a little sorry but at the same time, I felt a little angry at him too. He have to understand why did I made that decision. If I admit that everything was real, the negative comments will keep streaming in and even more fans will leave their official fancafe. That will affect the entire B.A.P and I didn't want that to happen. I couldn't. How could I drag all of them down? I can't be so selfish. 

"Yeojin, it wasn't entirely your fault too." Jongup comforted me and patted my back. At least there's someone who understands. "Thanks uppie." I mumbled. He gave me a small smile and patted my head. 

"We should go, it's getting late already." I nodded and grabbed my stuffs, walking out of the dance studio behind Jongup. 

"Aren't you going back to your dorm?" He shook his head, "I will wait for you to get on the cab. Our dorm is nearby so don't worry about me, Jinnie." I simply nodded my head. 

After a few minutes, Jongup managed to flag down a empty cab. He opened the door for me and I got in. I thanked him before he closed the door, "Thanks, uppie." He gave me a small smile and closed the door. He waved to me as the cab started driving away and I waved back. 

I leant back against the seat, letting my mind wander off. 

"Miss, we are here. Miss!" The cab driver's voice snapped me out of my daze. I handed him the cab fare and got out off the cab. 

I stood in front of the gate to our dorm. I let out a sigh and made my way into the building. 

I opened the front door and went into the dorm. I closed the door behind me and took off my shoes before walking into the room without saying anything. 

The 5 of them were sitting around the couch, probably waiting for me since the television wasn't switched on. I went into the bathroom to shower, ignoring the looks I was getting earlier. 

*****

I put on a set of fresh clothes and went out of the bathroom. Mirae was sitting on Yuna's bed, waiting for me. I sighed inwardly, knowing that I can't avoid this anymore. 

"You are done?" I nodded and sat down beside her. 

I didn't wait for her to start talking. "Mirae unnie, did I make the wrong choice?" 

"Why did you think that you made the wrong choice?" Mirae looked at me, a bit shocked. 

I shrugged and told her about Daehyun. 

"Yeojin, I understand why you made that decision. If it was me, I would have too. I guess Daehyun reacted that way was because he didn't stood in your perspective and think why did you made the decision. But it's okay, Yeojin. He will understand it sooner or later. What matters the most is that you made the right choice for him and for everyone else." 

I nodded slightly and stared at the floor. Mirae patted my back lightly. "I will let you have some time alone. I will ask Yuna to sleep on the couch for the night." 

"It's okay unnie. Yuna don't have to sleep in the living room." 

"Okay then. Don't think too much, okay?" Mirae said and went out of the room. 

Moments later, Yuna came into the room. She stood beside the study table, fiddling around with her fingers while staring at the floor. I smiled to myself and stood up, walking over towards her. 

She noticed me walking over and looked up. I stopped in front of her and couldn't help but to laugh at how ridiculous she looked right now. She was looking up at me with a timid expression as though I was a ferocious tiger who was about to pounce on her. 

She immediately broke into a smile when she heard me laughed. She pulled me into a hug, wrapping her arms around my waist. 

"Why are you so scared of me?" I . "Ask yourself. You look so glum when you came home and you haven't been responding to me recently!" Yuna retorted. I chuckcled and patted her back. 

"Yah, aren't you going to let me go?" We have been standing there for a minute now and Yuna was still hugging me. "Yah, I'm older than you by a few months." 

"But you don't act like you are older than me though." I argued back cheekily as Yuna pulled away from me. I took a glance at Yuna and I realised that she was looking at me with a serious look on her face. 

"Is something wrong?" Yuna nodded and avoided my eyes. 

"Is it about the statement I made?" She nodded again. 

"Daehyun?" She gave a small nod and I let out a sigh. I wasn't in the mood to care about anything right now. The only thing I want to do now, is sleep. 

"We will talk about that tomorrow, I'm tired. Goodnight, Yuna." I said while yawning. I snuggled under the covers and drifted off in seconds. 

*****

Tuesday; 6 November 2012

I was walking down the hallway, making my way to class.

"I need to talk to you." The voice made me jumped. The hallway was empty since I was five minutes late for lessons. I was grumpier than usual, don't even ask me why. 

I turned around, with a hand over where my heart was. He didn't wait for me to speak before dragging me towards the end of the hallway. 

"Yah! What do you want?! I'm late for my lessons!" I protested, trying to free my wrist out from his grip. But there wasn't any use, he was stronger than me. 

I groaned in frustration and let him dragged me down the hallway. We skidded to a stop and he pulled me in front of him. I looked up and met eyes with him. 

"Why did you made that statement?" His voice was muffled due to the mask he was wearing. "I made it because it's the best way for all of us." 

He smirked, "The best way for all of us?" I was taken aback at how he was acting. It's like he's not the Daehyun I knew... 

I didn't say a thing. I couldn't. I just stood there, looking into his eyes. The way he looked at me, it felt different. 

"Nothing more to say?" He snickered. I looked away and stared down on the floor. No. I'm just too disappointed to say anything right now. Why can't you understand? 

He walked past me, purposely bumping into my shoulder. I leant against the wall and slid down, sitting down on the floor. My books fell off my hands and landed on the floor with a loud thud. 

I lifted my head up, trying to stop the tears from falling. I shut my eyes, forcing the tears back. I opened my eyes shortly after and a guy with blonde hair came into view. 

"He will understand why, sooner or later." He assured me. I nodded slightly and began gathering my books. I grabbed my bag and stood up. 

"I'm going to my class now." I murmured and made my way back to class. 

Thank you, Yoo Youngjae. 

*****

I shoved my books into my locker and slammed it shut. I was cursing mentally. Well, because I have to go for detention. For being late once. Just once. 

"Argh, stupid, idiot, useless piece of crap." I cursed under my breath. I bumped into someone but I didn't even bother to apologise. "Get out of my way." I murmured. 

"Whoa, noona." I looked up and saw Zelo raising up his hands in a defensive manner. "I'm sorry Zelo." I sighed and ruffled my hair in irritation. 

"Noona, what happened? You look as if someone stepped on your toes." I was making my way to the detention room and Zelo was walking beside me, clueless of where I was heading to. 

"Zelo-ah, noona have to go for detention. So stop following me okay? Your hyungs are probably waiting for you now." I said in a calmer voice. 

"Detention? Noona! What did you do?" Zelo stood in front of me, with his eyes as wide as saucers. We were standing outside the detention room. 

"I was late, once." I emphasized on the word 'once'. Zelo just 'ooh'-ed and nodded. 

"Bye, Zelo-ah." I walked into the detention room with my shoulders deflated. 

"Are you Choi Yeojin?" The teacher-in-charge asked the moment I stepped into the room. I just nodded at him. "Take a seat. You have to submit a reflection. After you finish working on your reflection, you can do your self study." 

I walked over to the table at the end of the classroom and sat down, not bothered to even respond to him. 

Reflection? I was only late for ONCE and I have to serve detention and now I have to write a reflection!?

I took out a piece of paper and scribbled on it. 

I'm sorry for being late once. I will not be late again. 

I put the piece of paper aside and began studying. 

***** 

Finally it's over. I decided to walk all the way back to our dorm from the school even though it's pretty far. I needed some fresh air too. 

I stuffed my hands into my pocket and walked out of the school gates, making my way back to the dorm. 

"Yah! Choi Yeojin!" I turned back, wondering who could it be. 

"Yah! I thought you were a slow walker? Why are you walking so fast?" He scowled at me. He was slightly panting. 

"I wasn't walking that fast. You need to exercise, pabojae." I stuck my tongue out at him and continued walking. 

"Why are you here anyway? Your dorm is at the other direction if I'm not wrong." 

"I want to talk to you."

I stopped abruptly in my tracks and turned to face him. "Then let's talk here. If not you will have to walk a long way back to your dorm." 

He let out a sigh and stood in front of me. "About earlier... Don't mind Daehyun. He's not seeing the reason that you made that decision. We will talk to him." 

"But why is he acting as if it was something very serious?" 

Youngjae let out a sigh before speaking. "It's just that he really loves you. You know, he couldn't stop talking about you since the day he realised that he fell in love with you. Each time he gets to see you, it makes his day better. He doesn't say it but I can tell. And, he went to talk to the CEO the same you made the statement." 

"What?!" 

"You didn't know?" Youngjae looked at me, confused. I shook my head, "What did he say to the CEO?"

"He told the CEO that he's going to announce that the both of you were really together. I guess the reason why he was so upset was because he thought that you knew that he talked to the CEO but you still released that statement." 

I got it now. The CEO lied to me. He lied. He have to stop Daehyun from making that statement so he asked me to make it and he knew that I wouldn't choose to admit it. 

He used me. I clenched my fists tight. And I felt like I was his puppet, controlled by him. 

"Erm, Yeojin?" Youngjae looked between my tightly clenched fist and me. 

"I can't take it." I hissed. 

"Can't take what?"

"I hate being controlled. It's like I'm a puppet to him. He made use of me this time and if I really do debut, I will continue to be his puppet. And I can't escape it when the time comes because I have to follow whatever he said." 

"Wait, does that mean..." I should have known better. I'm talking to Youngjae, of course he's able to get what I was trying to imply. 

"Yes. I'm leaving." I finished his sentence for him.

"But, Yeojin. This-" I cut him off. "This is my dream, yes, I know. But if fulfilling my dream means getting controlled and I can't even do things the way I want, then I guess I have to give up on this dream." 

Youngjae tried to talk me out of it but I was firm about my decision. I guess I really didn't think much before deciding to take this path. 

-----

UPDATE! ^^

A twist in the story again hehehe :p 

School is starting tmr but I have yet to finish my pile of assignments! >:( 

Anyway,

ENJOY~

All gifs used belongs to their respective owners! ^^