REVIEW BY anniekhun

My Girlfriend is a Ghost

Title: My Girlfriend is a Ghost
Author: Goddess
Brief description of story: Kim Jonghyun the singer meets a ghost. And wala! He can see her! What happens when he starts to fall for the silly little ghost?
Genre: Romance, Comedy, Fantasy
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Title: 5/5

I loved the title. It’s very different yet fun and it made me go ‘What the heck?” (Which was a good thing). I think you got inspired by My Girlfriend Is A Gumiho? Anyhow, it was very cute.

Poster: 4/5

I loved the various Jonghyun man candy you had on all the chapters, but there’s no main poster? And some of the pictures didn’t fit the mood of the chapter so I couldn’t give you the full score.

Description/Forward: 9/10

I liked your description. It made me very curious about what would happen but many fanfic writers do the same thing so it lacked originality. Yet, the foreword made up for it. The foreword’s meant to have an important event which would make the audience more interested in reading it. You didn’t have that but I like the way you’ve used the foreword to introduce the characters. It’s good for the reader to know beforehand the personalities of the characters, and people won’t get bored if you have paragraphs of character explaining in the chapters.

Originality: 10/10

I don’t think anyone has thought to put the main couple as a normal human and a ghost. I don’t think there’s any flaws about originality there :D I'm not a great fan of fantasy so this was a real eye-opener.

And there’s something else. I LOVED THE PROPOSAL PART. It was so smart! Like all the other readers, I scrolled back up to the poem lines to read the starting of the messages again. It was so sweet!

Plot: 18/20

The plot was good, but sometimes it just lacked interest in places and missed out a few things. There was the part when Jonghyun tried to ignore Seo Eun and, to me, it dragged the story a lot. And I was really wanting to know more about the Onew-Luna couple but most of the time it was just Onew complaining about how he never got to see Luna. I love this fanfic a lot; I loved the mindblowing events that you placed in the story but these small things just made the whole thing a bit slow paced.

Flow: 9/10

The flow was good but sometimes the POVs confused me. Most of the time you had asterisk or you italics the places that was meant to be thought it the character’s mind. But when you had a place where the character would talk to himself/herself for a long time, it was just in normal font and it got me really confused. I think your transformation to a new POV should be more clearer, but apart from that everything was fine.

Character/Detail: 9/10

I loved the characters and the way you described them were good. Your story was very detailed, but I think it was TOO detailed. Sorry if this sounds harsh, but I didn’t like how you placed the character’s detail and into one paragraph – like an introductory paragraph. It just makes the chapters a bit boring. I suggest you place bits and pieces of information in different places. This gives the story more effect in explaining the details and characters and also makes the story flow easier.

Grammar: 19/20

I think it was close to perfect. Apart from the small grammar mistakes here and there that could be fixed easily, like the tense issues, your wording of the sentences were good and there was great punctuation as well.

Style of Writing: 9/10

I liked your style of writing. Your story wasn’t made up of various POVs which would last a whole chapter and so it made the story more interesting and there was more flow. Your speeches were spaced out a so were your paragraphs. It was very good.

Total: 92/100

General Comments:

I really liked your story. It was original, creative and it was very fun to read (took me ages to review because I had to soak up everything ^^). There are some parts though that I want you to go through (I wrote before) and maybe put those things in use in your sequel and your following fanfics. I think you deserved the good mark a lot and, honestly, I didn’t want this fanfic to end. Good Job :D

 

THANK YOU ANNIEKHUN FOR THE REVIEW!

I'M SO HAPPY!!!! I'LL WORK HARDER IN THE SEQUEL ALRIGHT!

PLEASE READ MY OTHER FICS AS WELL!

I DON'T KNOW WHY BUT MY TAEMIN FIC HAS SO LITTLE SUBSCRIBERS.. IT DEPRESSES ME..

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Comments

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whowhowho #1
I need to re-read this amazing story after such a sad period of time. Want to remember the past carefree SHINee
-2Mirae-
14 streak #2
Shawols*
-2Mirae-
14 streak #3
It's a sad day for shinee and shawls and I remembered this story so I decided to reread this
TT
#RestInPeaceJonghyun #YouWillBeMissedGreatly
Mary_16
#4
Chapter 78: is so nice story!!!!
-2Mirae-
14 streak #5
Chapter 80: Since my first time reading this story felt like forever, I decided to reread this again!!!!!!
kimsuho243
#6
Chapter 80: I love this story! Its so sweet and so interesting. Truthfully, when I read a story, I would just smile when something is funny, or sweet and else. But this story, makes me smile, laugh( really. I laughed a lot haha) sad. Haha good job author. Going to read the sequel now!
roseheartbookie #7
Chapter 54: You named her mom Gu Miho. Wow.
NenyaEbeyn
#8
Starttttttt. <3
-2Mirae-
14 streak #9
Chapter 80: How cute>< so happy lee soo man got arrested even i like lee soo man... but I prefer sm's ceo, kim young min...haha anyway for some reason some parts of your story kind of remind me of oh my ghostess xD