Chapter 29

Lie For Two
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It’s funny how we always think we know how we’re going to feel when something we want to happen, finally happens. How we can picture every scene exactly, what we can think we will do at that one, particular moment, how we’re going to react and what we will say. During this one month I imagined meeting with Baekhyun a couple of times. I would lie if I’d say I didn’t want him to come – thoughts about him were deeply ingrained in my brain and one month wasn’t enough for me to forget about Baekhyun completely. Like an old movie, scenes from our potential reunion were playing in my head over and over again. I spent several nights thinking what was appropriate to say and to do. I wanted to meet him again and was sure I was ready for it.

Well, I wasn’t.

Everything I imagined was different. The speech I prepared in my head vanished along with the view of Baekhyun in my room. My mind was empty, mouth closed in protest, my body tensed and legs wobbly, ready to give up any second. I was secretly waiting the whole month to see him again and when he was finally standing in front of me, all I wanted to do was to run away without even looking back. What’s worse, along with Baekhyun all the bad memories I kept away from me came back. Once again, I felt like the old me – the one trying hard to live to other people’s expectations without noticing my own needs. The one that fell into influence of an imagined life and relationships I had before. In a second my mind started replaying all the moments I tried hard to forget during this one month and feelings of frustration and anger came back, stronger than before, setting on fire every part of my body.

I finally remembered why thinking about Baekhyun the whole time was so wrong in the first place.

“What are you doing here?” I hurled, making one step back in defense, in case Baekhyun would decide to come closer. But he didn’t move. He kept holding a small envelope in his hands, looking at me intensively like it would help him keep me on one spot, but he wasn’t brave enough to shorten the distance between us. Just like one month ago, Baekhyun didn’t do anything to keep me close to him.

His clenched jaw told me he noticed how cold and furious my voice was and how he didn’t like it but I couldn’t care less. I wanted him to know he wasn’t welcomed here. I wanted him to feel what I felt when he left me without a single word. As cruel and inhuman it was, I wanted him to be in the same pain and confusion I was back then.

And Baekhyun understood it pretty fast. He smoothly slid down from my desk, standing now with his back straight, ready to face me properly. Just then I noticed his white button-down shirt, black tie loosened up a little around his neck and elegant, black trousers. But this chic clothes didn’t fit the rest I was able to see – Baekhyun’s messy hair falling flatly and lifelessly on his forehead, dark circles under his empty eyes and shoulders slumped like in a sign of resignation and defeat. He looked tired, exhausted and so not like him – just horrible.

But no matter what happened to him, it had nothing to do with me now.

Baekhyun ran his hand through hair, taking a deep breath and debating what was accurate to say. He lazily lifted his eyes and looked at me, putting the white envelope on my desk. “How have you been?”

His voice wasn’t as strong as always, as if he was afraid to speak loud. But I heard his every word clearly and scoffed at his ridiculous question.

“Really?” I crossed my arms, raising my brows with surprise, “You came all the way here just to ask me this?”

“Of course not…” Baekhyun said rapidly but stopped half sentence, realizing how his voice raised an octave due to frustration he started feeling inside. He took another deep breath to calm down and his bangs jumped up in the air when he exhaled tiredly. “I have million things I want to say but your hostility doesn’t make it easy for me.”

“Then let me make it easier,” I moved away from door I was blocking, making a space for him to get out of my room and showing him the way out with my hand, “Go home, Baekhyun. Do what’s the easiest for you and run away. Again.”

His eyes squinted for a mere second and I knew he was furious now. Who wouldn’t be? He came all the way here probably to explain himself, maybe to ask for another chance. But he was too late. One month ago I would have been ready to forgive him, to forget everything painful he did to me. One month earlier I would have hugged him saying that everything was okay, that I was glad to see him again.

But that would have been one month ago. I already moved with my life and in the place I was standing now was no space for Baekhyun.

He got it quickly too. I heard him laughing bitterly to himself, shaking his head lightly, “Now I really don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t need to say anything. Just leave.”

“You’re cruel.”

Now it was my turn to laugh. “Cruel? In case you don’t remember, you left me.”

“So what do you want me to do?” Baekhyun turned his head to the side, avoiding my stare. I saw him nibbling on his bottom lip, as if he suddenly felt guilty for everything bad that happened between us in the past. And although I knew I shouldn’t, I felt bad for him as well because I already knew the answer I was going to give him.

Although his last words left me in confusion and I started doubting if I was strong enough to carry on the conversation without yielding under Baekhyun’s confession, the quiet voice in my head kept reminding me how painful this last month was for me and how hard I tried to stand up again after the agonizing fall I experienced. Maybe my feelings for Baekhyun were still strong and despite my decision to forget him I still hoped to be with him, but I wasn’t ready to go through the same pain again. Finally, I decided to leave the past to the past while Baekhyun was still hopelessly stuck there. I worked hard to make new friends, to change myself, to start anew. I couldn’t let him come back and destroy everything I built till now.

I took a deep breath, feeling my heart beating faster and already hating myself for what I had to say. I knew he needed someone to push him and show how to move forward. But I also knew it wasn’t me who should do it – I lost my chance the day he left me. He needed someone strong and confident to lead him. I was just as much confused and lost as he was.

“I want you to move on, Baekhyun.” I answered, swallowing hard when his eyes snapped to mine immediately. Squeezing my hands behind my back to keep my mind sober, I forced myself to speak loud and clear, leaving no space for any misunderstanding. “Leave the past and move on. Just like I did.”

Baekhyun opened his mouth to say something but closed them second later, as if the meaning of my words finally sank in. Digging my nails into skin of my hands, I waited for his second move, praying to God to give me more strength because I was sure I would give in if Baekhyun asked me to give him one more chance.

“Here’s the towel, Baek. You should lay down and— oh.“

I turned around to see Kai standing next to me with surprised look on his face. A white, wet scrap of material was hanging from his hand and he squeezed it nervously, making a few more drops fall down on the floor. I glanced at his face and a strange, nerve-racking feeling twisted my stomach. Kai’s face was pale and dark circles under his eyes were as big as Baekhyun’s. He was wearing the same elegant, black clothes, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, first two buttons ed to let him breathe comfortably.

I switched my attention to Baekhyun to analyze his look one more time and then fixed my eyes back on Kai, “What’s going on here?”

He looked in Baekhyun’s direction, as if he wanted to check what was right to say and then hiding the wet towel behind him, Kai faked a laugh, a wide smile pulling his lips up, “Oh Eun Jin, long time no see! How are you?”

Seeing his horrible acting skills was really painful.

“So?” I crossed my arms again, ignoring his cheerful greeting that obviously had to distract me from something more important. Something that either Kai didn’t want to tell me or Baekhyun forbid him to say. “What are you both doing here and what’s with those suits?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Kai made a few steps closer and just now I could see how tired he really was – his eyes slightly puffed, brushed with red color due to lack of sleep. He ran a hand through his hair, pointing at Baekhyun standing still near my desk, “He wanted to see you so I had no choice but to drive him here. And you two should talk things over so I can just lay down and take a nap.” He stretched his numb arms, closing eyes for a mere second with pain, “Geez, I’m so tired.”

“Sorry Kai, but I think there’s nothing more to discuss.” Baekhyun finally moved and came closer to us, breathing h

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shainiak
15/10/2013 Next update should be around Sunday so stay tunned and sorry it's taking so long but I'm freakin' busy XD!

Comments

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Zndjcjaj #1
💙💙
_bkyoongie
313 streak #2
Revisiting here again ✨😊
alurabae #3
Chapter 1: this is exciting omg
Imthtdiamond95 #4
Chapter 34: Really enjoyed this fic, can’t wait to read more of your work!!
atasiwi #5
Love this
Galaxyboo_
#6
Chapter 30: Please this just TOO GOOD
Sparkleinhereyes
#7
Visiting old fic 💜💞💜💞
havoc_ss
#8
re-read back hehe love the story,, sending my precious love to authornim ❤️❤️❤️
Being_aeri #9
Chapter 30: OHMY FREAKING GOSHHH I CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT YOU DID THERE.. I ALMOST CRIED AND STARTED CURSING EUN JIN.. TTTTTTTT tbh I wasn't even going to read the last chapter.. but then I thought about scrolling through it in anger misery whatever you want to call it.. I scrolled through fast when I saw Ch name.. I was like no I'm not gonna read it with ending with him.. but then at the end I saw baekhyun and thought to check then I got confused and read the chapter finally to know that no you didn't broke my heart 〒﹏〒 it was a roller coaster ride for me... Well done.. ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ