Chapter 27

Lie For Two
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My heart was thudding in my chest and I swallowed hard, having that gut wrenching feeling in my stomach for a nth time this evening. My mind started spinning as it helplessly tried to form a comprehend sentence and find out what Kai was going to say in the same time. Although I still hoped he wanted to tell me something completely unrelated to his feelings, the word ‘confession’ kept crossing my mind. Over and over again.

If Kai decided to cross the line between being friends and something more, that would destroy everything we had till now and definitely make everything awkward between the three of us. I knew the consequences of revealing his true feelings and I was sure he knew it as well. But still, despite the possibility of losing everything we’ve managed to build, he still felt the need to reveal his feelings. I knew he wouldn’t do it out of a simple whim because he cherished his friends the most. I knew he probably thought it over a million times before making his final decision. I knew how brave he was to finally confess and that’s why I was going to respect him and hear him out till the end.

I closed my eyes for a second and opened them, feeling braver. My heartbeat accelerated suddenly and painfully when I finally made up my mind. There was no point in dragging it any longer.

“What is it?” I said, standing up from my bed and walking out of my room. I didn’t want cafeteria girl to hear something or disturb me. And although she ignored me and treated like I didn’t exist in the first place, I still felt more relaxed out of her sight.

There was a complete silence on the other side of the receiver but I knew Kai was still there. Going up the stairs, to the third floor where no one from our students had a room, I waited for him to continue. I kept quiet, knowing that he probably needed more time to gather his thoughts. Moment later I heard him sighing loudly with resignation.

“Since I have no idea how to say it, I will just go straight to the point,” he told me with a hurry and somehow I could imagine him scratching his head with embarrassment. I would even smile a little, knowing how much I knew Kai and his habits, but then he spoke again and all muscles in my body tensed in an instant hearing those three words I was scared of.

“I like you.”

He said it simply, in one breath.

I immediately sat on the stairs, holding onto the handrail like my life depended on it. The words hung in the air, leaving no doubts about their meaning. Pushing aside the temptation to end the call, I tightened my grip on cellphone, feeling the whole world falling apart. Just when Kai said those words out loud, I finally understood how it would make everything complicated; how I wished not to hear them in the first place.

Unconsciously, my blood rushed to my cheeks and a wave of warmth filled me from the inside. I found myself speechless, not sure what to say and how to respond to his confession. I opened my mouth to utter something, because Kai was waiting for my response, but I just couldn’t find my voice again.

But even if I wouldn’t be so taken-aback, was there something appropriate to say in this situation? No matter what I would say, he would end up hurt.

“Kai…” I finally said after a few long seconds of listening only to our breaths in the receivers. “I… I just—“

“I like you,” he repeated, cutting me off and I could feel the hurry and firmness in his voice. “You’re one of my closest friend now, Eun Jin, and it’s crazy how fast you started being someone important in my life,” he chuckled and I felt like jumping from my window for what I’d have to say later because that would break his heart. And mine as well. He stopped laughing and breathed heavily once again, “Maybe that’s why it’s so hard for me to say it now but I don’t have a choice anymore. Eun Jin, I like you. A lot and I’m sure you know it. But no matter what, I can’t see you as someone more than a friend. I’m sorry…”

He trailed off and my mind went blank. I quickly recalled his words, trying to understand everything he wanted to tell me. I heard him clearly but still being in a shock, I couldn’t really grasp the meaning of them. All he said was just too surreal.

Kai indeed liked me, I slowly repeated in my mind. And then the other revelations hit me hard, leaving even more dumbfounded. But only as a friend.

I straightened my back immediately, opening my eyes wider as the realization crushed onto me. “What did you say?”

“I’m so sorry, Eun Jin but I just felt like I should clear the situation before it would be too late,” Kai said in one breath and I could sense a hint of regret in his voice which was making the whole situation even more odd. “I know how hard it is for you but you should hold onto your feelings for Baekhyun, don’t give up and—“

“Wait,” I interjected, completely confused, “I don’t understand a word you’re saying.”

“I’m just trying to tell you that I see you only as my friend,” I heard the panic rising in his voice, as he was careful not to hurt me with his small speech. “Maybe even as a best friend but nothing more.”

“I understood that part,” I raised my voice without noticing it, feeling frustration growing inside of me because somehow, without me knowing, I became a girl who was crazily in love with Kai, “ so you don’t need to repeat it over and over again. I just don’t get why you think that I see you as someone more than a friend.”

There’s another minute of silence as the truth about our feelings got revealed and I couldn’t help but feel like a complete idiot. How did it happen? I couldn’t even flirt – not like I tried in the first place – so how was it possible that Kai thought I had feelings for him? Did I do something he misunderstood?

“God, this is awkward,” Kai muttered when my last words finally sank in his mind.

“Like hell.”

This was all I was able to say in this ridiculous situation. For several moments no one of us dared to speak and then, out of nowhere, Kai started laughing – it was a pure, honest laugh showing how glad he was we both felt the same. In a second the tension between us simply disappeared, like the whole conversation didn’t happen in the first place. Before I realized it, I let a quiet chuckle as well, feeling incredibly relieved, as if someone took a big stone off my shoulders.

“I’m sorry,” Kai repeated again, catching a breath and trying to calm down but I still could hear a smile in his voice. ”I shouldn’t listen to Baekhyun.”

“Did he tell you I was in love with you?” I blurted, surprised to hear his name. After what happened today and a couple of days ago, I was sure I made it obvious for Baekhyun that I loved him, not Kai. Was I wrong the whole time?

“This guy thinks he knows everything.” Kai sighed at the memory of their last conversation. “I was so mad at him for keeping you away, even though he likes you so much, so once I told him I’m going to snatch you away from him if he won’t make any move. I guess he took it too seriously.” Kai snorted, remembering the moment he told me about. “The night I got so drunk, he told me you have feelings for me as well. I didn’t want to believe it but you called me a lot these days and you’re always so nice so I just…I think I just unconsciously started seeing things that didn’t exist in the first place.”

“Well, he told me the same.” I said, leaning against the handrail. “He told me you like me, you know, more than a friend.”

“This guy is so insecure, Eun Jin,” Kai said sadly. “Even when I told him how I felt and that you’re in love with him, he didn’t listen. Just one sign, one gesture he sees is able to convince him he’s right, even though it’s just his imagination and he’s the only one who can see it.”

I recalled Baekhyun’s words from our conversation in the garden. Kai was right, he was insecure and on top of that had trust issues because of his mother, who left him alone without a simple goodbye. I couldn’t blame him for acting this way towards people because he was hurt. But Kai didn’t know that Baekhyun felt insecure partly because of him. He idealized Kai in his eyes and kept compering them in every possible occasion. He idealized him to the point where Baekhyun started thinking he wasn’t worth anything – not even being Kai’s friend.

After our small talk today, I realized that it wasn’t about Baekhyun having a grudge against Kai because of the past. It was about him feeling worse than Kai, stupider and more helpless. In fact, after blaming Kai for everything that happened with their parents, Baekhyun realized his mistakes and wanted to be like his best friend, who always put others’ happiness before his own. He misunderstood my friendship with Kai and decided to finally pay him for everything bad Baekhyun did.

He decided to sacrifice his own happiness to make Kai happy, knowing that Kai would do the same for him. Because he simply wanted to be like Kai.

Or at least he tried, because at the end he chose to listen to his own heart, ignoring completely what he’d been planning to do. We all knew he didn’t need to choose in the first place, but if he still though Kai had feelings for me, there was a possibility Baekhyun still could feel guilty for what happened between me and him in the garden because he wasn’t supposed to show his own true feelings. And while I knew all this, Kai and Baekhyun stayed oblivious to what was going on between them. They had to honestly talk with each other and explain every misunderstanding that grew during those past few years between them. Only then they could come back to what they had before – their true friendship.

“I don’t know what to say to convince him that I don’t love you,” Kai sighed to the receiver again and I snapped from my thoughts. He sounded troubled and truly worried about Baekhyun. For a short moment I hesitated if I should tell him the truth, but then I figured out it was better if Kai knew about everything.

“You know,” I started quietly, “I’m not sure if you still have to convince him.”

Kai kept silent for a short moment and then I could hear again how he placed a glass on a table, carefully studying my words. “What do you mean?”

“He kissed me today,” I said quickly, swallowing hard. “Twice.”

I couldn’t really believe I told him about it because it was something personal. My heart sped up immediately at the memory of Baekhyun’s touch and unconsciously, I touched my cheek, feeling the blush coloring them again. I wanted to giggle like a teenage girl in love – which I actually was now – but I miraculously fought the need to do it, knowing Kai would make fun of me in the future.

I focused on Kai, waiting for his answer but he

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shainiak
15/10/2013 Next update should be around Sunday so stay tunned and sorry it's taking so long but I'm freakin' busy XD!

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Zndjcjaj #1
💙💙
_bkyoongie
313 streak #2
Revisiting here again ✨😊
alurabae #3
Chapter 1: this is exciting omg
Imthtdiamond95 #4
Chapter 34: Really enjoyed this fic, can’t wait to read more of your work!!
atasiwi #5
Love this
Galaxyboo_
#6
Chapter 30: Please this just TOO GOOD
Sparkleinhereyes
#7
Visiting old fic 💜💞💜💞
havoc_ss
#8
re-read back hehe love the story,, sending my precious love to authornim ❤️❤️❤️
Being_aeri #9
Chapter 30: OHMY FREAKING GOSHHH I CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT YOU DID THERE.. I ALMOST CRIED AND STARTED CURSING EUN JIN.. TTTTTTTT tbh I wasn't even going to read the last chapter.. but then I thought about scrolling through it in anger misery whatever you want to call it.. I scrolled through fast when I saw Ch name.. I was like no I'm not gonna read it with ending with him.. but then at the end I saw baekhyun and thought to check then I got confused and read the chapter finally to know that no you didn't broke my heart 〒﹏〒 it was a roller coaster ride for me... Well done.. ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ