oneshots

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Description

ok so recently ive been coming up with alot of random plots and alot of them are really good and a friend sugested to me that i post them and after thinking about it i decided sure why not. 

i will post stories about a variety of things but mostly romance, cuz thats all i know 

umm ill try to write stories using people other than kpop stars, ill use like anime characters or jpop stars or tpop stars and maybe even cpop stars

i hope you like it and every chapter is one story 

 

 

 

 

kpop= korean pop

cpop= chinese pop

tpop= taiwanese pop

jpop= japanese pop 

 

Foreword

so basically this is a series of oneshots. 

Comments

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KeyLovaSHINeeForeva
#1
Just Wondering:

Is this like a place for you to write general summaries of story ideas in story-form one-shots to make all of them multi-chaptered stories in the future? xD
KeyLovaSHINeeForeva
#2
Chapter 2: Comment For "Is It Worth It?":

I actually have little to no commentary for this one-shot. For some reason, it feels as though it's an actual diary entry from you yourself (the author). (The dialogue clarifies that, though.) The flow here is much more satisfying than the rushed pace of "That Bystander", and is more understandable and legitimately captivating. If you just add in a little bit more detail, I can se this becoming a wonderful one-shot loved by everyone who's read it.
KeyLovaSHINeeForeva
#3
Chapter 1: If you really wish to use the kind of POV you're using right now, I suggest you change the narrator between each chapter, but the style you're writing in is extremely difficult to master, therefore it would better suit the story if you wrote in third-person omniscient.

Lastly, I would like to address your setting/time skips. Obviously marking them with tildes and dashes is like a small cheat for the author, and a noticeable annoyance to the readers. Rather than doing just that, it's preferable for both you and the audience to inform the readers of the setting change/time skip through sentences. It doesn't interrupt the flow (if the rest of the story is already written properly), and avoids undesired tense changes.

Remember: You're in full control of the plot, characters, and flow. You should totally know what you're doing even before you start writing.

---

I apologize that my commentary is always filled with criticism. If you want me to stop, just tell me. I know I'm being really rude.

Well, that's my comment.
KeyLovaSHINeeForeva
#4
Chapter 1: Comments For "The Bystander":

I like your idea of a relationship forming based on someone standing up for a bully-victim, but the storyline itself is too complex to fit into a single one-shot. Maybe if you shortened it to just Eun Seo's bullying history and Eunhyuk standing up for her that one time, it would fit a one-shot just fine, but seeing as though you wrote down their entire history in one chapter makes the plot fit for a multi-chaptered story rather than a one-shot. As a result, the flow is completely rushed, and subsequently, us readers don't receive enough writing from you to understand the characters' feelings that quickly.

Furthermore, you tend to both explain the storyline and elaborate on emotions by using dialogue. As written in my comment for Jennifer's story, this is not a good thing. You need description and detail for things to actually have depth (and this does not mean going off on a tangent explaining what the O.C. is wearing for the day). Instead, I recommend that you search deeper into the minds of Eun Seo & Eunhyuk until you are capable of writing several profound paragraphs of how they feel each chapter, and how they react accordingly.

As far as POVs go, I don't actually have a problem with switching first-person narrators within a story, but I DO have a problem with the interchanging POVs being obviously marked, completely putting us readers off track. First Eun Seo reveals to us her thoughts, then we're suddenly placed in a completely different setting and mind (Eunhyuk) with a blatantly marked "Eunhyuk's POV". We (readers) think, "What just happened? Why are we suddenly in a different world? It doesn't really flow right." Like I stated earlier, I wish for this to be a multi-chaptered story.