This is a CRACK fic. Made purely out of randomness and weirdness and things you've never thought of reading but probably had crossed your mind. No main plot whatsoever. So don't take this seriously. I'm serious. Don't take this seriously. Also, this banner is hideous. Anyone creative want to help making a main image for this fic? I'd thank you with a cucumber salad.
Kay. Here we go.
Hyperactive Unexpectedly Conservative Mafia Daughter
Religious Hot Chick
Actress/Minion to any Mischief
Aegyo Queen with a Twist
Hey. What’s up? What’s up with that saying anyway? ‘What’s up’ If you take it literally, you’d be looking ‘UP’ right? Why don’t people say what’s down? Is it cooler if it’s UP? Oh yea. A lot of UP is cooler. When you’re UP on popularity, UP on the honor’s list, UP on your job, UP on your game, even a man’s d*ck when it’s UP.
Speaking of a man’s d*ck, I ‘dated’ a boy before. It was nice for awhile until something poked my leg one time when we were watching Mickey Mouse on TV. What? I was 8 at the time. I’m allowed to watch Mickey Mouse! ANYWAY, it ended up with him showing me his ‘precious baby gun’ and I almost puked of how ugly it was. I remember myself shouting.
“WHY DOES IT LOOK LIKE THAT?!”
“IT ALWAYS LOOK LIKE THIS! EVEN YOUR DAD’S!”
“WHY IS YOURS DARK AND SO TINY!?”
Yep. I said it. The very sentence that could make a boy’s confidence plummet down the sink. So he ended up running to the door crying. And I swore by then that I wouldn’t date a guy with a d*ck anymore. God was I traumatized. But never did I know that only GIRLS didn’t have d*cks.
And that’s how I started my life of being Queer. Well, I was always odd anyway.