What Does The Fox Say

The Queer Life of Kwon Yuri
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A/N: You're probably thinking Why is there an update when it's the same thing? The answer is No! kkkk. I edited the part where Heechul and the mafia daddies met. Added another scene and what knot. Not that big of a change really but I think it's funner this way. So if you've already read this, just skip near to the end! :D

 

 

Yuri decided that she will go to school today because her apartment was getting really noisy and annoying for her to be in. Hyoyeon, Taeyeon and Sooyoung stayed overnight with her. It was okay and she was quite thankful that her friends were there for her that night but not the following morning.

 

 

Early in the morning, she was awoken by her very very VERY loving friends. Hyoyeon started blasting hiphop music in her room and danced everywhere including her bed. Meanwhile, Taeyeon and Sooyoung were on the sofa infront of her bed with a laptop where weird noises came from. Turned out that they were playing this explicit game where girls were and doing all sorts of stuff to themselves.

 

 

“Yah. Where did you know about this??” Taeyeon asked Sooyoung with utmost curiosity.

“Sunny Bunny introduced this game to me. Dude. She has more than a hundred games like this in here.” Sooyoung answered.

“Sunny?!” Taeyeon gasped disbelievingly.

“Uuungggh! Deeper~” the noise came from the laptop which effectively shut the two of em up.

 

 

Yuri couldn’t take it anymore. There was a stupid hiphop dancer and two maniacs in her room so early in the morning when she was supposed to be mourning about Minnie being returned and her being rejected and betrayed.

 

 

“YAAAAAHHHHH!!!!” Yuri screamed at her friends.

 

 

The three didn’t hear her. Hyoyeon was busy popping and locking while Taeyeon and Sooyoung were… busy drooling at the laptop.

 

 

“nnnnghhhhh ughhhhhhhhh more please more- *BLAGH!!*“

 

 

That was the laptop flying and crashing to the floor.

 

 

*PLUCK!* *BLAGH!!*

 

 

That was the sound system being completely obliterated by a furious Kwon Yuri.

 

 

“WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?!” Hyoyeon yelled angrily at her dance routine being cut short.

“YAH! ALL THE GAMES SUNNY BUNNY GAVE ME WERE IN THAT LAPTOP YOU BABOON!!” Sooyoung hurried over to the laptop and tried to revive it.

“Ti……. Ti…. Shhhh…… ssue…….” Taeyeon managed to utter while staring at the roof dazed. Blood already starting to drip from her nose.

“GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUTTT!!!” Yuri’s body almost convulsed with her anger.

 

 

Sooyoung, Taeyeon and Hyoyeon quickly huddled together. If they were to face the mafia, they have to stay strong together. Taeyeon remained sitting though.

 

 

“How dare you say that when we’re trying to be good friends and be here for you?!” Hyoyeon said with teary eyes.

“Ti…ssue….” Taeyeon extended her arm weakly.

“After getting wet by that artificial rain with you, after helping you get dressed, after drying your hair, after cuddling with you to sleep, this… this is what we get?!” Sooyoung’s face turned ugly as she started to sob.

 

 

Yuri seemed to soften up.

 

 

“Even Taeyeon is willing to die for you! Look, all her blood is practically dripping down her nose but she’s still here for you!” Hyoyeon pointed at Taeyeon.

 “Aish jeongmal! You told me you were totally fine and you’re not gonna have a nose bleed!” Sooyoung scolded the now unconscious Taeyeon.

“She drenched the sofa with her blood. Ew. There’s blood on the floor too!” Hyoyeon grimaced.

“Yah, don’t you think she’s losing too much blood though?” Sooyoung wondered, looking at Taeyeon weirdly.

 

 

Yuri facepalmed herself.

 

 

“OW!” Sooyoung and Hyoyeon quickly grabbed their heads in pain.

 

 

Yuri bumped their heads together violently. She dialed a number on her phone.

 

 

“Bring Taeyeon to the hospital quick.” Yuri said over the phone.

 

 

Her boys then rushed in her room and carried Taeyeon out. Yuri then turned to her friends with her hands on her hips but before she could even speak Sooyoung beat her to it.

 

 

“Yah. How dare you do that to me?? WHAT IF I HAVE HYOYEON’S EMPTY BRAIN AFTER THIS?!” Sooyoung pointed a harsh finger to Yuri.

“Woah jinjja. WHAT IF I HAVE YOUR BRAIN AFTER THIS?? YOUR BRAIN IS MADE OF POOP!” Hyoyeon countered back to Sooyoung.

“It’s okay… It’s okay Yuriah! It’s totally normal to have a dying nosebleeding friend on your sofa and two idiots accusing each other early in the morning when you were supposed to be mourning because your girlfriend rejected you and used you all along. It’s…” Yuri didn’t finish her sentence when she caught sight of Minnie.

 

 

One snap of her finger and the Boy-with-a-sprinkler carrying a ladder entered the room, ready to give artificial rain to Yuri again who was already sitting at her bed clutching Minnie close to her heart.

 

 

“Aniya aniya aniya aniya aniya.” Sooyoung and Hyoyeon pushed him back, shaking their heads in the process.

 

 

Once they successfully locked him out of the room, they faced Yuri and Yuri looked up wondering why she wasn’t getting rained on.

 

 

“Look Yuri. This can’t go on jinjja.” Sooyoung shook her head.

“We let you do this last night but you can’t do this forever okay??” Hyoyeon frowned at Yuri.

“Where is the Yuri who jumps at buildings huh??” Sooyoung slapped her palm on the edge of Yuri’s bed.

“Where is the Yuri who has no care in the world huh??” Hyoyeon copied what Sooyoung did.

“Where is the Yuri who threatens our lives occasionally huh??” Sooyoung added.

“Where is the Yuri who points a gun on my head??” Hyoyeon added.

“Where is the Yuri who laughs so loud and so violently huh??” Sooyoung’s voice started getting shaky.

“Where is the Yuri who made me drink dog’s pee??” Hyoyeon’s voice cracked too.

 

 

“YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO ACT LIKE THIS!! HUWAAAAAAA” They cried loudly in unison as they rushed to hug Yuri.

“Idiots…... Why are you crying?” Yuri ended up patting her friends’ backs to console them.

 

 

Their crying session was interrupted by the ringing of Sooyoung’s cellphone. She sniffed and answered her phone.

 

 

“Bunny-ah~ *sniff* Wae?”

“CHOI SOOYOUNG I TOLD YOU NOT TO LET TAEYEON KNOW ABOUT THOSE GAMES!! NO MIDNIGHT SNA-”

 

 

Sooyoung quickly hung up the phone. There was another phone ringing, that time it was Hyoyeon’s.

 

 

“Yobowseyow wassaaaaaaaaap nigga from another nigga????” Hyoyeon answered full of swag.

“Hyo. It’s me Tiffany. Can you get Sooyoung on the phone please?”

 

 

Hyoyeon shrugged and gave Sooyoung her phone.

 

 

“Fany-ah wae?” Sooyoung asked.

“Our Father who art in heaven please cleanse the soul of Choi Soo-“

 

 

Sooyoung quickly ended the phone call, feeling like her soul was now in the depths of hell.

 

~******~

 

Yuri left her place because Sooyoung and Hyoyeon just won’t leave her alone. She told her friends that she’ll just be at the university to burn time and they had to go somewhere else. Sooyoung had to go to the hospital to receive spiritual intervention care of Tiffany and her pastor friend while Sunny eats in front of her. Sooyoung couldn’t eat, that was one of her punishments. Meanwhile Hyoyeon had to go to SME to continue chasing her dream to be the next Boa.

 

 

Yuri entered the gym. The class she had was about self-defense. There were safety mats and the instructor in the middle of it. Looks like things were gonna get physical. Perfect timing, she smirked.

 

 

“Okay class, there will be times that you’re not allowed to use your gun or you lose your gun and the only way to defend yourself and to stop the suspect is to hold him down forcefully. The things I’m about to show you are examples of what you could do to achieve that. I will act as the one being assaulted by the criminal. Any volunteers for the criminal part?”

 

 

The instructor scanned his students, tall buff men but none of them raised their hands. Out of the corner of his eye he saw one raised hand behind the tall men, but the hand looked skinny for a man and the student was smaller than most students he had in class.

 

 

“The one who raised his hand at the back come forward.”

 

 

And so Yuri went forward with a big smile on her face for the first time in a while. The thought of beating up someone, someone with a dck, and pour all her feelings out made her quite happy. All of the men in class’ jaws dropped. They didn’t know they had a female in this class. The females of the course were exempted from that class because they were going to be handling paper works and lead in the force anyway. The instructor, too, was shocked.

 

 

“Miss are you sure you’re in this class?” the instructor asked.

“I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t in this class right?” Yuri showed the instructor her admission slip.

 

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boredoutofmind
11/7 - Taeyeon's Egg Yolk was written and completed like 4 months ago lmao I was supposed to postpone updating until I've written the next part but miss Jessica Jung decided to trigger my yulsic heart so here it is.

Comments

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crizxii29 #1
Chapter 50: Author where dafak r u
Eris78
#2
Chapter 45: LMFAO!
Eris78
#3
Chapter 16: If ShinYoungie was actually the one in charge of that group…she’d probably have a whole liquor cabinet in arms’ length.
Eris78
#4
Chapter 14: LMFAOOOO, WTF. I’d pay money to see that.
Eris78
#5
Chapter 5: LMFAOOOOO! I forgot how much fun this crack fic is.
Kkomofam #6
Chapter 50: This is my fourth time reading this story, and everytime it always made me crack. Gosh... i hope you're back author. Please don't abandon this story
Muse_Lover #7
Chapter 50: So many chaos and madness!
With amazingly crack romance as well!
Please update soon~
I miss yulsic so much!
Thank you~
SevenL
#8
Chapter 7: PPFFFFTTTT HAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHHA
I'M SDAJFSFHDDJHGDSKJFS
SevenL
#9
Chapter 5: HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!
OMG THIS IS TOO FUNNNY!!!!!
AHAHAHHA!!!!
SevenL
#10
Chapter 5: HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!
OMG THIS IS TOO FUNNNY!!!!!
AHAHAHHA!!!!