Chapter 55

Never Let Me Go
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Seconds ticked away and then a minute but Jongin didn’t move, blink or utter a word. He just stood there gawking at me with a frozen look, seemingly taken aback with my last statement. “Jongin?” I said, squeezing his hand gently. “I love you.”

“I heard you the first time.” he finally managed to say. He gulped, then pursed his lips as he let out a shaky breath.

“I’ve been trying to deny it to myself.” I explained to him, my throat starting to tighten up and tears started to burn the back of my eyes. “But I fell in love with you even before I knew it.”

Jongin gazed at me and then he tucked a lock of my hair behind me ear. “Hana, I know you’re scared—”

“I’m not scared, Jongin.” I shook my head lightly as a tear escaped my eyes. “I was terrified. With you—every time—it’s intense even though you’re only looking at me. You give me this certain kind of feeling I can’t explain. But it was—so sudden and strong and daring. So vast and deep at the same time. I’ve never felt anything like it before and I wasn’t used to it. But maybe, deep within me, I already knew I was falling for you but I just suppressed it. Maybe because I was afraid that if I fall too hard for you, I won’t be able to keep up and lose it. Then, I’d end up just like mom.” it took me a few seconds to realize that I was breathing rapidly. Jongin gently rubbed my arms, his eyes thoughtful.

“After everything I’ve been through,” I continued, my cheeks were already damped with tears. “I realized it’s not just about sunshine and butterflies or rainbows. I saw it with my own eyes through my parent’s marriage. It’s going to hurt and it’s going to be tough and I just felt like I’ve had enough of that.” I held his hand more firmly and peered into his eyes deeply. “But when I let you go, it hurts so much more. So much more, I felt like dying every day I’m not with you and it’s just really, really awful.” I finally let out a long, cavernous breath; my chest heaving.

Jongin pulled me into his embrace, soothing my back with his hand. I wrapped my hands around his waist and buried my face into his chest. His shirt was damped but I could care less. His heart was beating frantically against his chest, just like mine.

“Hana,” he said gently after we pulled away. I looked up at him and he took my shoulders. “I’m not going to pretend I know how to work this thing. I doubt anyone truly knows how to work this out.” he peered into my eyes with most sincerest and gentle look I’ve ever seen. “I’m not going to promise you that I’ll never make you cry or hurt you. I’m not going to promise you that we’ll never have fights or misunderstandings. It but it’s part of it. But I can promise you that I’ll stay with you even in tough times as long as you do the same thing and not push me away. Can you do that?” he asked me genuinely.

A tear rolled down my cheek, I smiled at him slowly and nodded my head. “Yes.” I replied wholeheartedly.

Jongin smiled genuinely, his entire face lightening up, and then he wiped my tear away. “That felt so good getting it out of my chest.” I sighed deeply.

“Yeah?” Jongin said, grinning playfully. “How about getting it out of your chest again?”

I chuckled and pushed him off lightly.

“Oh, c’mon.” Jongin implored, stomping his feet on the floor like ten year old. “Say it again.”

“Alright.” I said, chuckling. Then, I looked deeply into his eyes and heartily said, “I love you.”

His cheeks instantly turned pink. I looked away from him because I know my cheeks were burning as well.

Jongin closed the gap between us, he hooked his finger under my chin and titled my head up, our noses nearly touching each other. “I love you, too.” he whispered, lightly brushing the tip of his nose on mine. I smiled.

“Oh, Jesus!”

On instinct, I stepped away from Jongin and looked over the source of the voice. I blushed furiously when I noticed Baekhyun standing by the door.

“What now?” Jongin said, rather annoyingly. I flashed him a glare and turned back to Baekhyun, who’s scratching the back of his neck.

“Hey, Baekhyun.” I greeted him with a wide smile, ignoring the fact that I’m beet red.

“Hi, Hana.” Baekhyun said, blushing a little. “Sorry to interrupt you guys. But I think I forgot my phone here.”

Jongin turned back to the long table and then he hastily threw Baekhyun’s cell phone towards his direction. If Baekhyun hadn’t moved fast enough, he would’ve missed it. He shot Jongin a glare and I did same thing. But Jongin was now walking towards his back pack, completely ignoring us.

“And Hana,” Baekhyun said. “Min Jee’s looking for you. She’s in the lobby.”

“Right.” I said, clearing my throat. “We’re going to shop for her dress for some rehearsal dinner.” I told Baekhyun, attempting to change the subject as the three of us stepped out of the studio and head downstairs.

Baekhyun merely smiled at me and then he turned his gaze on Jongin. He narrowed his eyes on him but Jongin was acting indifferent.

“Look,” Baekhyun whispered to Jongin after a few minutes. They were both walking behind me. “I’m really happy that you guys are together again, but can you please get a room?”

“We already have a room.” Jongin replied plainly and I sighed in humiliation.

“That was a dance studio.” Baekhyun argued.

“Still a room.” Jongin pointed out. I could picture him shrugging coolly.

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missribbons
12/06: Yay! You guys got this featured! Thank you so much sweethearts ♡

Comments

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Baekhyunsoul
#1
Chapter 4: Welll….. does Min Jee have a drinking problem?
Baekhyunsoul
#2
Chapter 3: I’m so curious to find out what’s next- and I’m lowkey worried for Min Jee. What a bum that guy is
AiiSoo #3
Chapter 55: I just recently found out about this story and I am very grateful that someone recommended this. This is a really good read. I love your writing here. I just wish that I read this sooner. Well, better late than never
dreamshun
1813 streak #4
Chapter 4: hana almost had them for a moment shsjsk
dreamshun
1813 streak #5
Chapter 3: Jino is such a jerk
dreamshun
1813 streak #6
Chapter 1: Baekhyun is a nice friend hehe
Also, jongin is such a heartthrob!
JeMerald #7
Chapter 55: I was looking for the story about a bookworm and Kai, and realized in like the first five chapters that this wasn't the one, BUT i couldn't skip rereading this story TT. I can't believe i read this story at different moments/phases in my life and it always always always drowns me in so much emotions.
Pxnellyxq #8
Chapter 47: Communication is the key
KimHyeJoo #9
Chapter 55: Aw this is so gold!!
I keep crying at the chapters near the last tho, that’s so depressing i can’t help it

Thanks for sharing this story!! :)