It was Christmas Eve, and Christmas was on a Sunday this year.

The busy streets would be even more overwhelmed by people shopping and celebrating, and Taemin imagined Jongin and Soojung together amidst the body of people. They would walk by the brightly decorated trees lining the street and Jongin would hold Soojung’s cold hands to warm it with his own…

And when his imagination started running down towards the gates of hell, Taemin violently shook his head. Jongin had said that he wouldn’t date Soojung even if she asked him out. He had to believe him.

The clock flashed seven o’clock, Christmas was only a night away. Taemin hadn’t heard from Jongin all day, and it took too much of his pride to call first.

He picked up his phone after a long contemplation and dialed a number. A familiar voice flowed through after a couple of rings, but Taemin couldn’t speak. He couldn’t understand why, but Soojung’s voice echoed in his head and Taemin held the phone at his ears, unable to open his mouth.

You are nothing but just a pretty face.

“Hello? Hello? …Taemin? Hello, is it Taemin?”

“……”

“Taemin-ah? Isn’t this Taemin’s number? Why aren’t you talking, honey?”

Taemin listened to his mom call his name on the other side of the line. If he was to open his mouth and speak one word, he felt like tears were going to gush out of his eyes. Ignoring the expensive roaming fee, Taemin tried to figure out how many Christmases he had spent alone, in this dark empty house. Taemin’s grip on the phone hardened.

“Lee Taemin! …Did he hang up? It’s mom, Taemin-ah talk.”

Without a word, Tamin hung up. He tossed his phone on the floor and buried his face on the couch.

Soojung wasn’t wrong. The problem was that the situation then and now was very different. The Taemin then had indiscreet recklessness, naivety, and uncontrollable personality.

But most of all, the Taemin then had both his mom and dad by his side.

He had his mom’s embrace to jump into after getting into a fight with a fellow classmate, and he had his father’s back to cling onto during a lazy Saturday afternoon like today.

All Taemin had right now was Poloysporin to apply on his face, a fifth lonely Christmas, and… Kim Jongin.

“......”

She doesn’t know anything. How dare she say that when she doesn’t know a about anything?

“… … …”

The back of Taemin’s hand was hot. The tears that welled up between his eyes and wrist flowed down his arms and wet the cushion. Taemin had stopped crying even when he was alone. Of course there were times when he wanted to bawl his eyes out, but it still took him some courage. He hated getting caught, and it probably started there.  Crying alone on top of being abandoned by his parents, it just seemed too tragic for comfort.

Taemin bolted up and rubbed his face. He sat back on the couch, brought his knees up to his face and buried his head. It was Christmas Eve, crying alone was allowed tonight. As soon as Taemin excused himself, a stifle that sounded way too pitiful even in his own ears escaped his lips. He gritted his teeth, but there was no use. Taemin screamed, refusing to yield into his own sadness, and started crying. He cried loudly, sobbing and wailing as much as he wanted to, for as long as tears gushed down his face and dried him up of water. When Taemin lifted up his head, the living room was still dark.

He blinked, and spied his wallet on the floor. Taemin got up to his feet for a change of his crappy mood. Scurrying out two ten dollar bills from his wallet, Taemin energetically stormed out the door… and froze in his tracks.

Jongin was leaning against the side wall. The wide shoulders, the two hands pocketed in his jeans, and the awkward smile that formed his lips to a straight line, it was all Jongin.

Meeting gaze with Taemin’s widened eyes, Jongin straightened up.

“My stupid phone never lasts a day these days.” He murmured. “It died right when I was about to call you. I tried with my mom’s but you’re line was busy…”

“……”

“I was going to ask what you wanted, but then again it’s always the same thing. So yeah.”

Jongin chuckled as he held up the plastic bag on the ground. Taemin peered down the plastic bag and saw cans of beer and a red box labeled XX Wings, its corners ripping out of the bag. Taemin’s gaze moved back up to Jongin. He could tell, Jongin’s awkward smile was more than obvious. Jongin was trying his hardest to hide that he knew how embarrassed Taemin was, but it w