*This was a request for Kai, they pretty much gave us free reigns and this is what I came up with while listening to Se7en~ It's some angst, some bittersweet memories, and then a somewhat happy ending, but not the usual one. Enjoy~*

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Why can’t you understand?”

Those four words were the last you heard from his lips before he walked out of your house and life. It wasn’t always broken things and angry words. It wasn’t always kicking him out of the room in the middle of the night. It wasn’t always bad. It was good. The best relationship either of you two had. It was love and patience. It was him holding you when you were sad. It was the sweetest relationship anyone could have. Surprises, sweet nothings spoken in the early hours, gifts, kisses, and hugs. They all seemed so far from where you are now.

“When did we become… this?”

The question you always asked yourself at the break of down, while you laid in bed, staring at the dip in the bed where he used to be. You felt tears gather into your eyes but refuse to fall to your cheeks. You sighed and got up, pulling on sweats and a big t-shirt, not feeling the energy to do anything else. Today you had made plans with him, to return your stuff to each other. You slipped on your shoes and picked up the box that held his stuff. From his clothes to the necklace he gave you for your birthday, you were returning it all. There wouldn’t be anymore days you would be cleaning and find his sock hidden under the couch. Half of your closet would be empty again. There would be no more mornings that you’d wake up and find the cap off the toothpaste or shaving cream accidentally flung on the mirror.

“Jagi!” you popped in front of him, a bright smile on your face, “How was your day?” Your smile fell as you saw his brow furrowed.

“Can I ask you something?” he looked conflicted about something and that worried you.

“Of course, Jongin,” you only used his real name on special occasions, something he always appreciated.

“Am I really who you love? Am I really the one who made you fall for me?” He let the words linger in the air, suffocating your lungs and tearing your heart in two.

“Jongin… I…” you tried to find words, ignore me the pain in your chest, “If I ever gave you a reason… to think that I only care about your career, I am so sorry.”

“If I can’t perform, he continued, “If I get a different job, will you still be able to love me for who I am?”

You kneeled in front of him, your hands on his knees as you looked up at him, “Jongin, listen to me, I’m only saying this once.” You waited until he nodded before you continued, “I do not give a about your career. Whatever put these thoughts into your mind, you need to get rid of it. I care about you, only you, do you understand?” You reached up and grabbed his face between your hands, “I will always love you, Kim Jongin, not Kai.”

It was true. Even through all your fights, you never stopped loving him. Even how, he’s the only one for you, but now you two are splitting and you can’t do anything to stop it. Something went wrong between you. You stopped trusting each other and had nothing but fights. You sighed and exited your house, slipping on sunglasses and a scarf before getting in your car and driving the familiar route to the dorm. This would probably be your last trip for a very long time. While you were friends with the boys, especially your best friend Sehun, you doubted the boys would like the girl who broke Kai’s heart showing up and opening that wound every time. You pulled into the dorm’s parking lot, grabbing the box and making your way up the stairs. You set the box down and knocked on the door, looking around before the door opened, revealing Suho.

“__________,” his voice was soft, and held no ill-will, but his facial expression was one of grief, “Please come in.” You nodded and picked the box back up, stepping inside and letting him show you into the living room where some of the boys lingered. Your gaze met Sehun’s and he smiled sadly at you, gesturing towards the bedroom that Kai shared with Kyungsoo. You knocked on the door and heard a faint ‘come in’. You entered the bedroom and found Kai holding a box of your stuff, sighing sadly down at it.

“Is she here yet?” his voice was gravely and he looked like he hadn’t been sleeping.

“I am,” you replied back and his gaze shot up in surprise before saddening, seeing the box in your arms. You sat the box down on the bed and sat down beside him. He sighed and held the box in his arms out for you. You grabbed the box and set it at your feet, folding your hands and wringing them nervously, “Kai…”

“I know,” he sighed and grabbed your hands, looking up at you, “You don’t have to say anything. I-I’m sorry the way this has turned out… I never wanted to hurt you.”

“And I you,” you replied, squeezing his hands gently, “I’m sorry it has got to be like this.” He smiled sadly and let out a strangled laugh, tears filling his eyes as your own vision became blurry. Soon the two of you were both crying and he pulled you into his arms.

“M-Maybe we can…” he began, stopping to let the idea linger.

“You know we can’t,” you replied, hugging him tightly. You felt him nod before a sigh escaped him.

“I know,” he said softly and you felt his tears dripping from the end of his nose to your shirt, “I’ll always love you, ______. Maybe not the way I used to, or the way you deserve to be loved, but I love you.”

“I love you too, Kai,” you said and pulled back, wiping at your eyes before holding your hand out, “Friends?” He nodded and sniffled, grabbing your hand and shaking it gently.
“Friends,” he stood and helped you up, grabbing your box, “I’ll show you out, protect you from those prying eyes out there, ne?”

“Thank you,” you laughed softly and led the way, ignoring the boys in the living room who watched the two of you. Kai walked you to the door before handing you the box. You stopped and looked down at your stuff, seeing the teddy bear you had gotten him on your anniversary, “This is it, huh?”

“It’s not an end… just a new beginning. I’ll always be here for you, ______, just not as Jongin, your boyfriend, but Jongin, your good friend.” You smiled as he spoke and nodded, moving the box to one arm and hugging him with the other before he opened the door for you and you stepped outside.

“Goodbye, Jongin.”

“Goodbye, _______.”