The Hortensia Humphrey Games.

The Matchmaker's Masterplan !!

" Hmm.... I should eat like this everyday in case I need to attack the enemy " said a thoughtful Daehyun watching as his puke travelled down Yongguk's school shirt in small rivulets.

Yongguk on the other hand stared in horror at his destroyed uniform. For the second time  that day, the world stopped revolving. He puked on me... he puked on me...He. Puked .On . Me.

" Why you son of a b-"

" Shut up " said Daehyun boredly, cutting him off. Yongguk concealed his shock by putting on his pokerface.

" Alright masked boy, time to meet hell " he calmly said,  ripping off his school shirt, revealing a black tank top underneath.

A loud gasp rippled through the watching crowd, as the girls swooned over Yongguk.

" Whoa..... Check out that body...... "

" OMG!!!! LOOK AT THOSE ARMS!!!"

" HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT!!!!!!!!! " cried the fainting girl, who fainted and fell into the arms of her waiting friend.

Uh oh... Now how will I defend myself? I want to run away, but -

" Face him like a man! " came a voice from above. 

' God? '  thought Daehyun looking up. He scowled seeing Jongup and Kyung holding small boards that read his name. His eyes widened when he saw the group of spectators who were watching in silent anticipation. How did all of these people get here? Did they all stay aferschool for something?

The crowd began to cheer wildly as Yongguk advanced on Daehyun. " GO GET HIM OPPA!!!!!"

Ah.... I shall not run then.

Yongguk stopped a few feet away from Daehyun and watched his victim, annalyzing him. This time he would not let his guard down. Hmm....I could get him in a headlock and drive his head into the tree behind..

Daehyun also narrowed his eyes and pulled up his mask before readying himself. I have a plan....

Yongguk  walked a few steps as Daehyun readied himself. " Any last words? " hissed Yongguk and raised a brow,  when Daehyun stood up straight and tapped his chin. 

" Ah ha!! You know, I think I know the perfect girl for you " he said.

" What the heck...?! " asked Yongguk for this was not the reaction he was expecting.

" Yes yes.You are not atrractive to me but I guess people have bad tastes"  stated  Daehyun pulling out some documents. Yongguk narrowed his eyes.

"  HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT!!!!!! " screamed some angry fans

' Please work '  prayed Daehyun

" You filthy.." Yongguk attacked, Daehyun dodged the first few blows by ducking but the Bang was experienced. " Now I know how you roll "  said Yongguk softly.

" Huh? AAHHH!!!" screamed Daehyun as he fell to the ground. Yongguk smirked triumphantly at the crowd, his foot holding Daehyun down

" Let this be a lesson to- aargh!!! " he yelled as Daehyun threw sand in his eyes, before pushing him off . The crowd gasped and everything happened in slow motion.

" NNOOOOOOOO!!!!! " screamed girls as Daehyun's fist landed squarely on Bang's eye.... 

Silence.

Yongguk  doubled over  holding his eye. " You... never... try to provoke Jung Daehyun.... " said Daehyun proudly, brushing off invisible dust off his shoulder. Bang was silent. Everyone watched. " Ha.. !! I am strong afterall..." smirked Daehyun. " GO DAEHYUN!!!! " cheered Kyung and Jongup hooting and jeering at Yongguk

" OPPA!!!! WE'LL GET HIM FOR YOU " screamed the crazy fan girls.  

Suddenly the Bang stood up and looked up at Daehyun sharply. The crowd began to cheer wildly. 

" I am strong..... I can do this.... AAARRGH!!!! " Daehyun screamed as Yongguk lunged at him.

" Think... Think... Think...."  gasped Daehyun, stopping a moment to look around him. Bad move. Yongguk seized the chance to do a floor spin, making Daehyun fall on his back. 

" GO YONGGUK GO!!!! " Daehyun looked up to see Kyung and Jongup,  who'd now joined the fans, holding boards that read Yongguk's name. Sumin was also with them, offering potato chips to a girl standing beside her. 

 Daehyun's face changed. " -_-"

He gasped as Yongguk grabbed him by the collar and pulled him up. Franticaly he looked around. " Don't mess with me " said Yongguk coldly in Daehyuns ear.

" Ok guys... looks like Yongguk won " came a guy's voice. At that moment,  Yongguk let go of Daehyun and fell back a few paces,  for Daehyun had kneed him in the gut.

" Holy cow's ....." swore Kyung dropping Yongguks nameboard.

Daehyun seized the opportunity, to grab a water bottle from a football player who was drinking from it. Yongguk swiftly moved to a side, as a stream of water shot past him. But a few drops landed on his arm.

The crowd gasped... again ... and fell silent. The anticipation was too much to handle and more girls fainted.

" WHAT ARE YOU DOING JUNG DAEHYUN!!!? " came a teachers voice as she headed towards them, two fangirls by her side.  " Yongguk... is that your eye....?SEE WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO YONNGGUK!!! HE MIGHT GO BLIND!!!" shrieked the teacher.

Daehyun scowled as the teacher commanded him to go to the nurse. He looked around but Yongguk had already left. 

***********************************

Daehyun finally was free to go home after the long lecture from the nurse.  7.30 p.m read the clock in the nurse's room. " Thank you" he said hopping off the bed and heading out.

" Hmph. Next time think twice before acting .... but good fight nevertheless " she said her face turning into  a smile.Shouldering his backpack, Daehyun began his journey home not knowing that he was being watched by someone from the rooftop; for as rumours stated, Yongguk did stay in school  till late for unknown reasons.

Hmm.. That boy Jung Daehyun. Have I met him before? What he did today degraded my reputation. Watch out Daehyun " thought Yongguk, watching the retreating figure. He smirked and leaned forward, to see Daehyun's figure more clearly.

 I'm not done with you yet. Consider this as a warm up, I'll finish you off when I get the chance. A soft breeze made strands of his hair fall over his eyes as he smirked.  

*****************************************

The next day, Daehyun sat in bed and remembered he had school. My Life he thought and washed up gingerly, for his wounds were still quite fresh. He would have loved to skip school but business was very prosperous you know.

He entered through the school gates and stopped to survey his surroundings. It was crowded as usual and once again he felt the air dripping with anticipation

" AAAAAARRRRRGHHHHH!!!!! STAY AWAY FROM ME!!!!" shrieked Zelo running past him, a mop in his hand, an angry janitor after him. Kyung was hitting on a guy  who was freaking out and Youngjae was talking to his sidekicks. 

My Life thought Daehyun, shouldering his backpack and making his way to the classroom, when everyone went silent and stared at him. Daehyun didn't notice at first but later he did. He was at his locker when " That's the boy who gave Yongguk his blue eye " whispered a girl " Really... Wow...." Daehyun shut his locker. Ignoring the 2 girls he made his way to the class. 

When he entered, everyone stopped their usual chatter and watched him. Tap tap tap. Daehyun noticed that the only sound were coming from his shoes. Tap tap.... tap. He stopped.

" WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU IDIOTS!!!!" he yelled at the class, who stared back. Tap tap tap. Daehyun made his way to his seat and slammed his bag down on the table and sat down. My Life

" He is one mentally challenged kid. Yet so powerful and cool as yesterday proved. If you guys want his number, I shall give it! " said Kyung getting up and bowing. Then the class turned back to it's normal rowdy self and Daehyun happily pulled out his valuable accounts book.

" That is the book  Yongguk touched... Wonder if we could get it.... or touch it..." whispered a girl rather too loudly. Daehyun looked at them slowly and gave them THE DAE GLARE.....

" Morning class!! " stormed in their teacher Miss Kim, a lady who was always in a hurry. " Hope you did the homework yeah? I've got an important announcement to make. It's about the  Annual  ' Hortensia Humphrey Games! ' " 

The class erupted into loud cheers as the students got onto tables and chairs

" HA!!! YOU LOSERS DON'T STAND A CHANCE AGAINST CHOI KYUNG!!!!! SO KEEP DREAMING ERS!!!" yelled Kyung getting onto his table and shaking his fist at the students.

" Get a life you homo!!!!" yelled a girl throwing her book at Kyung who ducked it and fell off the table onto an unsuspecting boy's lap. " Why hello...." said Kyung smiling seductively at the horrified boy. 

" THAT CUP IS MINE!!!!! " yelled Himchan into the ear of a  girl standing near  him. She turned around and slapped him.

Chaos ensued. ' I shall skip it this year too....' thought Daehyun pushing two boys off of his desk.

The teacher sighed and rubbed her temples. " SETTLE DOWN CLASS!!!! "

The students sat down in their places for a moment.

" Please  behave! This year, The Hortensia Humphrey Games- "

" Who's that? " asked a boy confused.

" It's a movie" said Jongup in reply.

" No. Hortensia Humphrey was the founder of this school, and that's why we  hold an annual  sports day to in memory of him " the teacher  explained. 

" How do you know? " asked Jongup, narrowing his eyes at her. She raised a brow at him

" Because Jongup .....  I 've been your teacher since 3rd grade, since no other teacher can handle this class "

" Ok lady ! Can we choose our teams now!!!??" asked a boy excitedly 

The teacher smiled at him.

 " This time, the teachers have chosen the teams because last time, it was a disaster, because we gave you the chance to choose your team and organize, and what happened? You guys hired thugs and gangsters, and Kyung! You brought stars to seduce the other teams  !! And you guys made a rule,  where you can assault the enemy teams and physically damage them. So NO! this time we've decided the teams and they will be posted on the notice boards within the day.  I want all the teams from this class to beat the teams from class 6E GOT IT!!!? " cheered the teacher and the kids began to cheer along. 

" Maam, don't you think they are worse than us!? " asked Sumin over the loud cheering. The teacher stopped trying to push a kid off a table and replied.  " Yeah. They are"

***************************************

 In class 6E;

" AAARGH!!!! PUT ME DOWN!!!!! " yelled the teacher who was tied to his chair,  with the students throwing paperballs, dustbins and stationery items at him.

" 2 points if you hit him in the head. 4 points if you hit an eraser in the eye. 10 points if you manage to throw a pencil into his mouth" announced a boy using a bottle of water as a mike."

." YOU KIDS WILL PAY FOR THIS!!!" yelled the teacher, and a paperball fell into his mouth. 

 " No points over there Jae son. I said PENCIL"
 

" STUDENTS!!" yelled Youngjae getting up gracefully. Everyone stopped and looked at him. 

" Students. We should not act like hooligans. We are fortunate to be attending this school, so let us respect the ones who teach us and bring glory to this school. As the next generation, we must stand as strong pillars for the younger generations. A revolution will be created. So, are you with me? " he asked smiling proudly at the students and putting his hand out expecting the others to put theirs on top of his.

" Gina. You know what to do " 

" My pleasure Jenny "

" AAAAARRRGH!!!!! " screamed Youngjae as he was tied to the beam on the roof.

" Students!!! Please try to be civilized!!! " cried Youngjae in despair.

" Gina, gag him!!!! " 

Just then the doors banged open and a boy ran in, panting and dripping with sweat.

" GUYS!! GUYS!!! THE LIST IS UP!!!" he panted leaning heavily on the doorframe. The class stopped trying to push Youngjae out and stared at the boy at the door.. " YEAH!! THE TEAMS.... "

" WHOA!!! ALRIGHT" everyone cheered as they dropped Youngjae and dashed out to the notice board. " I hope Yongguk is in my team..." said a girl.

Youngjae was left with the teacher.

" Hmmm Youngjae... Don't you think Hydrogen Peroxide is better than Sodium Nitrate?"

****************************************  

Yongguk was sauntering through the school,when he saw some teachers  coming his way.

" Yes!! This time the Hortensia Humphrey games are going to be veeeery interesting" laughed one of them.

Yongguk scoffed. ' Stupid  games. Why the heck do they have it for a dead man? It's not like he'll enjoy it. I am not going'  he thought blowing  away a strand of hair that  fell onto his forehead. Somehow he glanced up when he was in front of the notice board and shook his head in disgust and continued to walk.

Wait.... he stopped and backtracked. Did I see right? He traced his finger down team 4. Choi Kyung, Kim Sumin, Kim Himchan, Moon Jongup and... Jung Daehyun... 

Yongguk stood there for a while speculating, till an evil smirk appeared on his lips. Looks like I can finish our little game very soon.... The double H games huh?  I'm in 

And this my friends, is where the real story begins.....

________________________________________________________________________

 

A/N: *whistle* Ooooh.... Now what will happen I wonder....  ? ;) What's going on in those heads right now?? Leave a comment!!! 

 

 

 

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Petachi
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Comments

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Dewdropz #1
Chapter 11: I read this story over and over again. Its so funny. I love fiesty daehyun and yongguk and everyone else. One of my favorite stories. ♥ You have written such a great fic. :)
bygjdh #2
Chapter 26: Never get tired of this brutally funny randomly fic
I can say that this is the funniest fanfic that i've ever read and i love it with every little piece of my heart
Usually i dont like Ocs but this fic was the excep, i love the barbarian students (kyung sumin gina ily) the teacher, the janitor, the random boy, dae parents, the monkey huhuhuhuhuhu
damchubiased
#3
Chapter 9: Himchan's answer to the riddle lol
damchubiased
#4
I'm down and stressed. I will read this again to lift up my mood, while I'm waiting for "vindictive people" update.
Your story makes me happy (⌒_⌒)
DumaTrz #5
Chapter 27: Ohgodohgodohgodohgod how didn´t I see this earlier 7u7 You are just.. awesome (more than awesome ;; even) This story is one of the best comedies I´ve read so far. God, I couldn´t stahp laughing all the time, I blame you for that :c
JunYoung1004
#6
Chapter 27: You are awesome ! I spend two whole night with your story and I won't regret it. *crying for no reason* I love it as much I love Zelo. Lol XD
uXknowme
#7
Chapter 27: This story is funny! XD There's no way I didn't laugh!

My favourite part is the splat splat pooping sound in the chapter where Dae hid inside a cubicles X'D VERY HILLARIOUS!
Oh! I have a question! So Dae is really innocent? Till the end?? And at the end he likes Yongguk back right?? Nyahahaha there's mention of but no M rated here
bdz357998 #8
Chapter 26: This was hilarious!!!
proudweirdo
#9
Chapter 26: lol thank god i have read this again after a year. wait.. was it really a year? how could i be unsure :( but ahhh srsly, this is the best story for me. XD i remember i kept re-reading this and i cant stop laughing.. and now.. omfg you really are the best author ;u; the type of story you'll never get bored by re-reading it over and over again. *u*