A Day In The Life of Dae.

The Matchmaker's Masterplan !!

A/N : Not a chapter!! Just a filler for you to take a look at Daehyun's daily life... ENJOY!

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Saturday Evening.

It was a hot Saturday evening and Daehyun was lying on his bed, dozing in his boxers and a black tank top. " I really should air condition this house...But wait. It's too costly" he muttered, fanning himself. He groaned and began to surf the channels.

He stopped at one channel.

" Drink IGNITA!! Ignita ignites ual activity in you! BE AROUSED...." said a buff man on the T.V. He was topless, wearing a tight man showing his bulge, with red cow boy boots, and a cow boy hat. He had a thick mustache and was trying to be y, with a whip in his hand, and behind him in the advertisement for Ignita, a woman and a man closed the door in a room, the woman tripping on her heels unceremoniously, and pushing the man in as she tripped. He stumbled and hit the wall before going in, while  y saxaphone music played in the background. 

" Hmmm..... That won't work on me. I remember Kyung telling me that his sticks up a lot when he's aroused. What a liar. As if it can do that on its own. It has no brain of its own.... Nor does kyung. All it can do is help in peeing and reproduction " said Daehyun firmly, cause he had no idea of anything related to ,other than what was in the school books. What a loser.

" This must be that awful channel that kyung told me about. It's a gay channel... It still fails to make me feel anything. That buff man should wear a shirt and trousers" said Daehyun

" AND NOW... IT's time for..... Man To Man Naughty Naughty......." said the same buff man slashing the whip, as a drama series started.  

" Ah.... This must be that drama series Kyung watches...." thought Daehyun, going to the fridge and pulling out a can of coke.

" Oh please don't.." cried a man as another one pushed him onto a bed. "Woo Jin..." he whimpered as the other one handcuffed him.

" Pffft.... Wannabe policeman." muttered Daehyun changing the channel. He stopped at his usual channel which showed weird dramas.

" Ah.... This looks good. " said Daehyun watching a girl throwing a man into a well. She then started to pelt him with pebbles and flower pots.

After watching that, he went back and stopped at the channel, where the two men were now busy. " Why the heck is he giving that man a piggy back ride on the bed? And why are they screaming? " asked Daehyun in annoyance.

" Meow..."

Daehyun turned around to see a cat on his window sill. The same cat that always annoyed him. " Get away." he said, throwing what was in his hand. The remote....At the cat,

" What the are they doing? Losers. " wondered Daehyun, as the two men screamed.

 " I'm !!!!!" screamed the man at the bottom.

" Where has he gone to come back? Fools." muttered Daehyun, shaking his head.

" Nah.... Losers. I'm gonna watch----Where's the remote? Oh god! IT'S LOST!!!! AAAAAAARGHH!!!" screamed Daehyun, now on his hand and knees, as he crawled round, looking for the lost remote.

Outside Himchan and Jongup were passing by. They heard the T.V's screaming along with Daehyun's cursing.. They looked at each other.

" Hmmm.... I gues we can't visit him yet.... He seems.. busy." said Jongup chuckling. Himchan began to snicker. " Nah.... Let's go see who he's doing it with..."

Himchan and Jongup peeped in through the window. They gasped seeing Daehyuns'   disappearing under the bed.

" Holy cow.... He's watching Man To Man Naughty Naughty!!?? But... He's A ual right?" asked Jongup.

" Why's he crawling? Shouldn't he be masterbating?" asked Himchan.

" I guess that's his way of easing the frustration." shrugged Jongup

 " Who's at the window. It's Cat isn't it?!!" cried Daehyun appearing from under a chair.  

" THE BLOODY CAT! HYAAAAA!! " screamed Daehyun, throwing a jug of water out the window. It hit the pair outside and they fell backwards.

" YOU MORON! " screamed Himchan drenched.

The door opened and Daehyun came out grumpily, a can of coke in his hand. 

" Stay still...." whispered daehyun.

Slowly, he pulled out a catapult and fixed the coke can into it. Himchan and Jongup gasped. 

" How could you..? After all we've been through..." said Jongup. Daehyun narrowed his eyes and aimed at them.

" Say your last prayer.... oh wait. You can't speak... Goodbye.." said Daehyun

WHIZZZZ...

" AAAAAAARRRGHGHGHGH!! " the pair screamed,  hugging each other.

" MEOW!!!!" came an indignant cry behind them in the bushes, as the cat leaped out and ran away. 

" Oh.... So it wasn't....us..." said Jongup slowly.

" Yeah. Oh look!! The remote. Give it to me please" said Dehyun and Himchan threw it at him. He caught it and went back inside shutting the door with a loud bang after him.

" How rude..." said Jongup getting up.

" What are you doing on the ground?" asked Daehyun, his head poking out of the window.

" AARGH!!" screamed Jongup.

" YOU HIT US WITH A BLOODY JUG!!!" spat Himchan holding the jug up. 

" Oh! There's the jug. Thanks." said Daehyun, grabbing it from Himchan. He shut the window and drew the blinds.

" Ah.....Now I shall go watch something else "  

" BEHOLD!!!! Fiery Fox!! The best man lingerie ever produced for the first time..." said the buff man, as Daehyun changed the channel

" Someone told me, something important is gonna happen on Monday right? Hmmmm.... What was it? " thought Daehyun tapping his chin thoughtfully.

" Ah well, we'll find out when we go to school.. WHO'S OUTSIDE MY WINDOW... it's that cat... Hehe... Time for an egg bath little kitty " smirked daehyun evilly, going to his window and opening it.

" AAAAAARRRRGHGHG!!!!!!! " screamed Himchan and Jongup.

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A/N : HEHEHEHE!!!! Did you guys enjoy the filler??!!! Just a small look at Daehyun's day to day life and what he does... Which is only surfing the T.V on the bed 24/7 and abusing the cat. Ahh...

Remember the cat? It was there before in a neighbour scene, where he threw water at it?! 

 

 

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Comments

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Dewdropz #1
Chapter 11: I read this story over and over again. Its so funny. I love fiesty daehyun and yongguk and everyone else. One of my favorite stories. ♥ You have written such a great fic. :)
bygjdh #2
Chapter 26: Never get tired of this brutally funny randomly fic
I can say that this is the funniest fanfic that i've ever read and i love it with every little piece of my heart
Usually i dont like Ocs but this fic was the excep, i love the barbarian students (kyung sumin gina ily) the teacher, the janitor, the random boy, dae parents, the monkey huhuhuhuhuhu
damchubiased
#3
Chapter 9: Himchan's answer to the riddle lol
damchubiased
#4
I'm down and stressed. I will read this again to lift up my mood, while I'm waiting for "vindictive people" update.
Your story makes me happy (⌒_⌒)
DumaTrz #5
Chapter 27: Ohgodohgodohgodohgod how didn´t I see this earlier 7u7 You are just.. awesome (more than awesome ;; even) This story is one of the best comedies I´ve read so far. God, I couldn´t stahp laughing all the time, I blame you for that :c
JunYoung1004
#6
Chapter 27: You are awesome ! I spend two whole night with your story and I won't regret it. *crying for no reason* I love it as much I love Zelo. Lol XD
uXknowme
#7
Chapter 27: This story is funny! XD There's no way I didn't laugh!

My favourite part is the splat splat pooping sound in the chapter where Dae hid inside a cubicles X'D VERY HILLARIOUS!
Oh! I have a question! So Dae is really innocent? Till the end?? And at the end he likes Yongguk back right?? Nyahahaha there's mention of but no M rated here
bdz357998 #8
Chapter 26: This was hilarious!!!
proudweirdo
#9
Chapter 26: lol thank god i have read this again after a year. wait.. was it really a year? how could i be unsure :( but ahhh srsly, this is the best story for me. XD i remember i kept re-reading this and i cant stop laughing.. and now.. omfg you really are the best author ;u; the type of story you'll never get bored by re-reading it over and over again. *u*